Issues - Part 1
#1 of Issues
Issues
Part I
Jeremy Sly Foxx is in an automated car looking at the news and charts from a holographic projector. There is an ETA counter on the dashboard. Jeremy looks bored and bothered. On the bottom of the screen the words: "Palto Alto, CA - 61 A.H.E." are shown. Jeremy pulls out a projected Dvorak keyboard from his bracelet, types "looking for the angel investor" and hits send. He goes out of the car and into an Embassy Suites, up the elevator and into his room. He shuts the door. The shadow of a husky woman can be seen from the window.
Jeremy [Upper Midwest accent]: Oh gosh, I'm sorry
Husky: No, you got the right room.
Jeremy: Okay, what do I do now?
Husky: Place your right paw here.
Jeremy puts his right paw in front of her.
Husky: Good, now come here.
The woman can be seen pushing Jeremy into bed and getting on top of him.
--
Duluth, MN - Five Years Later
Jeremy sits tapping his fingers on his desk and rolling his eyes. On top of it is a small US flag [57 stars] crossed with the "North Star Flag."
He pulls up an ad for the "North Star Experience," a licensed brothel in Pine River where Carl's Market used to be, which reads "FIRST FUCK ONLY 600A!" A white cat with black spots [female] walks into the room wearing a CFO badge.
Cat [Upper Midwest accent]: What is yer opinion on...
Jeremy tries desperately to hide the ad, to no avail.
Cat: [Disgusted] I'll come back later.
She starts walking in the other direction.
Cat: [Looking back] Ya might want to find a better use for our money, at least until the loans are paid off.
Jeremy: Sorry.
The cat leaves the room.
Jeremy [looking at ad]: Only one man. Go figure.
--
Baxter, MN
Minnesota's government resembles a proportionally-elected unicameral legislature and a governor chosen by instant runoff. It is the first (and so far only) state to give anthropomorphic creatures the right to vote and a path to citizenship, but it is state (not constitutional) law. Race riots throughout the state, especially in the St. Cloud area, are common.
In the background live results of the state election are being displayed, showing a narrow DFL majority among four other parties (GRN-SDP-IDP-GOP) and the Governor's race (Leslie Franken - DFL has a 72% lead over her four opponents). Commentary can be heard in the background involving a possible DFL-Green supermajority (two-thirds or 200 seats). Nobody seems to be paying attention to it, and neither is Jeremy. Jeremy sits at a bar looking out into the distance, holding a glass of glow-in-the-dark blue spirit. A group of women are sitting at a round table in the middle. As soon as he meets eye contact with one of them they all get up and leave.
Jeremy: Yeah, that's right, keep walking! Yer just jealous 'cause I have money and you don't! *Sticks out tongue*
Woman 1: *As they're walking out the door* Good God, someone put a diaper on that kid.
The other women giggle.
Woman 2: *Barely audible* I know, right?
Jeremy: When will they learn?
Bartender (female): They?
Bartender walks off. Jeremy grunts. "TOTAL: 200A CRITTER CAVE" is projected in hologram. Jeremy waves his wrist over it, and a check-out beep can be heard from his bracelet.
--
Jeremy walks to a street corner by the train station. A woman with a smile child is standing next to him.
"TOTAL: 5A STATE OF MINNESOTA." Jeremy waves his wrist again. An arrival timer pops up. The train will arrive in a minute and nine seconds.
Timmy [small child, human]: Foxie!
Timmy tries to pet his floofy tail while Jeremy tries to swish it away.
Woman 3: Yes, yes I see that. Come on, Timmy.
The woman walks away. Jeremy checks the price of cannabis on the Minnesota Black Market Exchange. Things like hops, pot, coca, opiates and other drugs that were once illegal are traded here. The bus arrives. Jeremy steps in and takes a seat. The bus moves at a rapid pace. Jeremy tries to take a seat, but a woman puts her hand on it.
Woman 4: This seat's taken.
Jeremy [looking around the bus]: No it's not, [Jeremy takes the seat] and we're not in Wisconsin so [Jeremy sticks his tongue out]
Woman 4 tries to fire her blaster at him, but it blinks red twice and makes an error noise. She punches him in the nads and moves to the back of the bus. In the background where it can hardly be noticed, and ad for the Colt Blaster 3K is projected, showing its four settings and respective colors: Pleasure (pink), Sleep (blue), Pain (yellow) and Kill (red, not flashing). In most states some or all of these settings can be remotely disabled by private establishments, public buildings and in mass transit, though the practice remains controversial.
--
Duluth, MN
Jeremy leaves the bus and goes inside the Residence Tower. He goes to his room is on the third floor (369). He is about to swipe his bracelet but he hears noises inside.
Jeremy: Hey, you two, knock it off or go to yer room! I don' want to hear it!
Tad [purple fennec with yellow spots]: Ooh, looks like someone's cranky.
Chad [purple fennec with yellow spots]: Oh murr...
Jeremy takes out his blaster and sets it to pain. It makes a high-pitch whine as it charges. He swipes his bracelet to open the door.
Jeremy [firing blaster]: Hey! You two! Get!
Chad: Sorry!
Tad: Yipe!
Tad and Chad quickly go to their room, slamming the door. A red lock symbol is projected. Jeremy opens a section of his couch, grabs a Grain Belt and opens it. When he turns on the TV he sees a targeted ad for young singles, to which he throws his bracelet, breaking both it and the projector. He walks up, opens a drawer and puts on another.
Jeremy: They just don' make 'em like they used to.
The doorbell rings.
Jeremy: Who is it?
He sees an attractive cougar [female] on the monitor carrying a briefcase.
Jeremy: Come in!
He hits the green check button. She waves her bracelet and opens the door.
Cougar: So you know how we said that we would have the money and that you should stop calling us? Want to know why that is?
Jeremy: Ya.
The cougar slams down the briefcase and opens it.
Cougar: We only take cash. We don't trust a bank. Not even yours.
The briefcase has marks for 100, 500, and 1000A. Jeremy picks up a wad of each and places it on the coffee table.
Jeremy: Analyze.
A green check mark is projected.
Jeremy: I will count these later, but everything appears to be in order. [Jeremy opens the door] Have a nice day.
Cougar: [Holding blaster, red light] Sit!