Little Drummer Dog. (10)

By Wolfie Steel.

Cometh the hour cometh the band, once our bags are unpacked and we have had a little time to relax Steve calls us to head down towards the bus, it is now time for us to register Jacks and Aces wild for the contest that is The Battle of the Bands.

After a ten minute journey we arrive at the venue, there are buses and vehicles everywhere. Once our bus comes to a stop we all clamber down the steps and head towards the main entrance of the arena.

We head inside and we can see that the organisers have done this right, there are ten desks, each with a member of staff sat at them all looking after the registrations, so I know that it won't be long until it is our turn to register.

A few moments later and we are now standing at a desk; we have a smiling female Cougar looking after our registration.

"Hi guys, welcome to The Battle of the Bands, first can you tell me the name of your band?"

Steve clears his throat.

"We are Jacks and Aces wild ma'am"

The Cougar types the information into her computer terminal and then looks up with surprise.

"You mean the Jacks and Aces wild that have been creating so much of a stir after only releasing one song, man I love you guys. Okay can I have your individual names please?"

We all give our individual names and again the Cougar enters the information onto her computer.

"Okay thanks for that, you are now registered in place 63, now if you will head to the main arena we have set up a buffet meal , so that Jansen Mendis, the event organiser, can address you all at the same time, you know, rules and regs and stuff like that"

We bid the Cougar farewell and we follow the steady stream of guys that are heading into the main arena. We arrive at the main arena door and a Horse asks what position we are registered to, Steve confirms that we are number 63 which the Horse writes on a place card, he then leads us to a table that is laid out for six.

"Okay guys, this will be your table for tonight, the buffet tables are on the left hand side of the arena, please feel free to grab some food, the boss won't be starting his briefing until 8:30pm so everyone will have a chance to get something to eat and drink, now all it remains for me to do is to wish you guys a fun time and I hope you do well in the competition"

With that the Horse heads back to his post while we all head towards the buffet tables. As we stand in line I notice that Shaun is just five spaces in front of us, I so want to go and rip his damn throat out, but I try to calm myself for the good of the band.

I carry my tray which has a plate of food and a drink on it back towards our table, I pass Shaun's table and he clears his throat.

"That will be the only food you will get at this arena, because you guys are going down"

I begin to lower my tray to an adjacent table when I hear a cough from behind me, it is Steve.

"Sam, don't let the arsehole rile you so much, he will get what's coming to him, make no mistake about that, but we can't afford to be thrown out of the contest before we have even started"

I resume my stance and continue carrying my tray back to our table. I sit in my seat and begin to eat the food in front of me, but my eyes never leave the sight of Shaun, now more than ever I want to bury the fucker, but I also know that we need to do it through our music.

At 8:30 a single spotlight shines down onto the stage where a podium stands, behind the podium stands a huge Shire Horse.

"Good evening to one and all, welcome to the Pride Of London Arena and this year's running of the Battle Of The Bands, now that you have all emptied our restaurant cupboards of all of the out of date stuff it is time to get down to business"

A loud chuckle reverberates around the arena at the Shire Horse's joke.

"Okay so first things first, for those of you who are attending for the first time we have a brief history lesson, so be prepared for a long snooze"

There is another giggle that travels throughout the arena.

"Battle of the Bands was started eight years ago when a few bands that shall remain nameless got too big for their boots. That first year saw just ten bands going head to head with each other to find out who was the best all round band. I have to tell you all that we have done the sums for the attendance to this year's competition, and there are no less than 150 bands who will take part. This time next Sunday however, we will know who the best band of 2013 is"

The Horse takes a sip of water from his glass and then continues.

"The competition is run in rounds. There is a points system in use, and so from each round, the best ten bands will go through, the points given in order, so if your band comes in tenth in a round then you get ten points, if you are lucky enough to come in first place then you will get the full one hundred points. By Thursday the top twenty bands will enter into the quarter finals, Friday will see the top ten bands fight it out in the semi finals, come the end of the semi finals only the top four will go through to the final, and then on Saturday the final four bands will do battle"

The Horse takes another gulp from his glass.

"In the final things get a little more difficult, the final four bands will now perform twice, they will perform one song each and then once the points for that round are recorded, they will perform again. The points for the final will be awarded like this, if you perform well in both rounds there is a possible eight points up for grabs, I'm not going to lie to you guys, you will have to pull out something special to gain a perfect eight points, in the eight years that this contest has been running, no one has yet managed to end on a perfect eight"

He takes a short breath before he continues.

"Now I know that there are one or two bands here that have a little bit of rivalry going between them, but I warn you all now, keep it clean, we don't allow any physical fights, any bands or band members that take part in any fist fights will be automatically disqualified, the folks of Britain have paid good money to bring their families to watch and listen to their favourite bands, the last thing that this competition needs is a bad rep from scrapping band members. Also we have a zero tolerance towards the use of drugs, at any time a band member can be searched and if it is found that they have drugs on their person or are actually caught using drugs, then the whole band will be kicked out of the competition and will be banned from competing in future events for a period of five years. Now that that has been said it just remains for me to wish you all good look and may the best band win"

The Horse steps down from the podium to the sound of rapturous applause, the spotlight dies and the disco lights take its place as we all dance the rest of the night away.

Monday morning dawns and I am in the arms of my loving Rottweiler, though I can tell that he is as nervous as all hell, well who wouldn't be, we are about to do battle with some of the best musicians and singers in the business. Steve gently kisses the tip of my nose and then whispers.

"Sam, I want you to know that no matter what happens this week, I am so very proud of us all, but above all of that, I am so very much in love with you"

I return the kiss to Steve's nose.

"I know sweetheart, and I want you to know something too, you have made me the happiest Border Collie alive"

All the members of the band head down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast, as we enter I notice that the place is deathly quiet and yet it is full to the rafters with furs, my guess is that they are all feeling the same sort of nerves that me and the guys are feeling.

We all sit together at our table and wait for the waiter to come and take our order. An hour later and breakfast is done, again we find ourselves on board our bus and making the journey to the arena, but this time we know that we will be the ones taking to the stage instead of the organiser, and that war is about to begin.

It is now 6pm and we have all just reconvened after a dinner break, as luck would have it Jacks and Aces wild are the next band to perform, now the nerves really begin to kick in, for our first round we are going to use the song that has been played to death on the radio, Don't Talk To Me About Love.

We take our positions and then Steve introduces us to the audience, with that task done he then counts us in to the song. We give a decent performance of the song, but even I know that it wasn't a perfect rendition, but again I guess we can put that down to nerves.

Come 10pm and the last song of the day has been played, time to collect the results. It takes until 1am to finally learn our fate, my eyes wanted to close so that I could fall asleep, but my mind wouldn't let them, we just had to have made it through to the next round.

Finally the organiser takes to the stage with a sheet of paper in his hand.

"Okay guys the standard for today has been exceptionally high, but as you know only the top ten from the day can go through, for the rest of you it will be an early exit. I have the results here in my hand and so I won't prolong your agony any longer, in tenth place scoring ten points is Sound as a Hound, in ninth place is Maximum Attack, in eighth place we have Rabbit Rap, in seventh is Foxes Delight, in sixth place is Jacks and Aces wild, in fifth we have Dormant Dogs, in fourth it is Time 2 Dance. And now for the top three, in third place we have The Rockstars, in second place we have Lion's Pride, and in first place and picking up the first hundred points is Def Leopard. Those of you that I have just called out, you need to head back to the hotel for some rest, because in a few hours you will be back here watching the rest of the bands perform, and then after that we will have the shape of things to come, we will know who the twenty bands are that will do further battle, for the rest of you though, go back to the hotel and enjoy your stay, but don't get going home because on Sunday there is going to be quite a party to which everyone is invited"

The Horse places the microphone back in its stand and then steps down from the stage, the guys and I all breath a collective sigh of relief, we may not have performed brilliantly but we have done enough to be in the next round, not only that but we have given Shaun and his band their first bloody nose.

Steve leads us from the arena and towards the bus, as we arrive at the entrance to the bus we are met by Shaun.

"Okay you pissants, you may have beaten us in this round, but now we are going to take things to the next level, you are going down in flames in round two"

Now Steve doesn't usually bite back, but I guess the tiredness and the shock of actually getting into the next round have made him just a little cranky.

"Shaun, we have already taken you apart in the first round, now me and the guys are all very tired so if you don't move your sorry ass away from the bus, I will personally take you apart again, PHYSICALLY"

Knowing that he would never beat Steve in a fight even when he is tired Shaun decides that discretion is the better part of valour and walks back to his own gathering, with Shaun now out of the way we get back on board our bus and begin the journey back to the hotel, as we make the journey there is not a word said between us.