Ander - Part 2: Subchapter 14
14
"Oh, Ander..." Kiana said, gently placing her hand on his forehead, wondering what horrors lurked just beneath the surface, where she could never reach. He had kicked his blanket away in the throes of his nightmare and now he was shivering in the cold even as sweat poured down his face. He was whispering something, but it was too faint for Kiana to hear clearly. The only thing she could understand was Ander's name, said with such panic and urgency she didn't know what to do. Should she wake him? She's heard that waking someone from a nightmare could cause their heart to stop, but she didn't know if that was true.
The way his chest rose and fell with each harsh gasp for breath, as if he was drowning, the way his brow was furrowed and the corners of his mouth were turned down in agony...
He was clenching his fists so hard she could see tiny lines of blood flowing from between his fingers. They left dark spots on the bedroll like constellations.
"So that's what those scars are..."
That decided it. She couldn't watch him suffer like this. She didn't want her last memory of him to be one of pain and misery.
"Ander?" she said, gently shaking him by the shoulder.
He moaned in his sleep, fighting against whatever monster dwelt within his mind. She could imagine it clear as day, because she was there herself. She could see him fighting his brother to protect her, killing his own blood so that she could live. Is that what he was going through right now? Was he reliving that moment night after night?
"Ander, please wake up! It's me, Kiana..." She took his hand and prised his fingers open, intertwining her own with his. "I'm here for you. Just... please wake up..." She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed each finger in turn, whispering a silent prayer to guide him out of his dream. "Please wake up..."
Ander gasped and the pressure around her hand suddenly increased to such an extent it bordered on pain, but she hardly noticed that. What she did notice was the look of confusion and terror on Ander's face. Seeing him that way hurt her more than any biter ever could.
"Ssh... ssh... it's okay..." she said, lightly caressing his arm with her free hand. "It was just a dream."
"Kiana? Is that you?" His breathing was heavy, his heartbeat so frantic she could feel his pulse pounding where their wrists touched.
"It's me," she said and kissed his hand again. It felt so good to touch him like this. It felt like she was taking a part of his sadness away, and that made her feel happy.
"Kiana..." He ran his hand along her cheek, and his touch did the exact same thing to her. He took away a part of her sadness and turned it into happiness.
She lay down beside him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'm here."
Ander hugged her close, and with their bodies pressed up tightly against each other, Kiana could feel every movement, every breath. Illuminated by nothing but the silvery moonlight, they existed together as a pair of shadows, seeking comfort in the only way left to them. She reached up and lovingly kissed his forehead, keeping her lips pressed against him until she could feel his breathing begin to slow. She slowly moved down, kissing him between his eyes, the base of his muzzle, the tip of his nose. She hesitated at his mouth, suddenly unsure of what she was doing. This all just seemed so... cruel. To the both of them. What they were doing... knowing that Ander would likely never live to see the moon rise again... it was just so... wrong. She didn't want him to die...
A single tear leaked from her eye, burning like fire. She could feel its progress as it flowed past her cheek and came to rest against Ander's thumb.
"Please don't cry," he whispered, wiping it away. She could see his eyes in the dim moonlight.
He was crying, too.
"Ander... I -"
"I love you, Kiana..." he said, and pressed his lips to hers.
As they held each other in the dark, sharing their first, real kiss, all of Kiana's doubts, all her fears, all her misgivings, every thought about whether or not she was doing the right thing, shattered into a thousand pieces.
This... what they had right now... each other...
This was right.
This was perfect.
This was everything she could ever want, even if only for a single night.
"I love you, too..." Kiana said, not breaking their kiss for even a moment, speaking softly with her lips still pressed against his so that they shared every word, every syllable, every breath. "I love you so much..."
She felt his strong hands travel down her spine, coming to rest in the small of her back. In his warm, caring embrace, Kiana felt like she had finally found the place where she truly belonged.
"We'll have to be very quiet..." she whispered, letting the strap of her nightgown slip down her shoulder.
She knew they couldn't make the night last forever, no matter how badly she wished for it. But, together, they made it last.
They made it last long enough...
This is what is known as a "fireplace" scene, because in old movies the camera would pan to a fireplace when things got intimate. It's a classy kind of cutaway to indicate when characters make love without actually showing anything, and I think this is best for my story because, above all else, this is a clean story. This scene is not about yiffing, it's about love and intimacy between two characters who will probably never be together again.
Oh, now I made myself sad. :'(
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