Chapter 16 - Mad As A Hatter.

Stretching out I realise I should get some sleep and so I strip off into my boxers. As tempting as it is to take care of the urge, I don't think now would be the best time. Plus this wasn't my room, so it would be tacky. I hop into bed, just in time to hear another knock at the door. Groan.

"Who is it?"

"It's Soothing."

Well fabulous. I sigh and hop up out of bed. I haven't gone down yet, as if. Urrgh! I position myself behind the door and open it a bit to see Soothing there, sticking my head around.

"Hey, I just got undressed for bed, something up?"

"Maybe, I don't know. Can I come in?"

I groan again and put my head against the door. "Yes... Just... Don't laugh ok?"

He raises an eyebrow as I move away from the door for him to come in and I scamper back to the bed, pulling the covers over me, blushing again.

"Oh, did I catch you at a bad moment?"

"Yes, but Wyrmripper did first so I'd be surprised if you didn't get told soon enough anyways. What's up?"

"Well, I wanted to see how you were doing?"

"It's a fucking bitch and I'm sorry if I'm causing you and the rest of the pack any bother."

Soothing nods and sits on the side of the bed.

"I can only imagine what you must be going through."

"I'd rather you, it's bad enough that I'm a depressing bastard" I smile as I say it.

I get a small smile in return. "Why are you trying to make light of it? These are really heavy and harsh feelings that you're going through, no one would blame you if you needed time to deal."

"Well, I could do that. But that isn't my nature. I make a little fun of it because I think I'd go crazy if I didn't. All my usual dealing techniques aren't going to work as none of them are here. I do want to curl up and cry my eyes out right now, but it's going to hurt more if I do that because it'd remind me how I'd curl up in Colt or Leonis' arms. So I'm going with being pissed about the situation combined with focusing on what I can fix."

"Why didn't you go back with Kyron?"

"I'm not ready to go back. I haven't even learnt what it's like to live in my new skin. Going back now would be suicide. If Colt didn't kill me, then most vampires would at least try, just to impress the prince. But truth be told, I don't want to go back yet. I want see Rain happy, I want to see you guys safe. I can't do that from the other world. So I'll hang around as long as you guys can put up with me."

Soothing smiles and then starts to laugh a little.

"I can't believe this. You're really something Alex."

"Huh?"

"You're doing just what I'd do, you can't seem to let people suffer, even when you were a vampire and supposedly didn't care. You did. You just don't stop if you can do something about someone else's suffering, but you keep letting yourself suffer."

I can't help but blush and look down.

"It's just how I am. I don't like seeing people hurting and I have to do something about it."

"You're going to see a lot of suffering now you're with us Alex."

"Are we going to be trying to stop it?"

"Yes."

"Then you can expect me to work as hard as you."

He nods and stays quiet for a little bit. There's something on his mind, that much is obvious, but I don't know what he could still be battling with.

"Soothing... What's wrong? I can see it in your face that there's something you're thinking really hard about, but I can't figure out what is pressing you so hard about it."

Soothing licks his lips nervously.

"It's... Oh I don't know. I'm sorry Alex. I should let you get some rest."

"You don't have to go. You're welcome to stay in here with me."

He chuckles and folds his arms.

"Oh, so Wyrmripper isn't enough, now you're trying to get me to sleep with you?" he says teasingly.

I blush again. "Hey, I'm doing no such thing.... I'm just doing the correct version of the age old saying."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"It's alright to window shop as long as you don't break in and steal the goods."

Soothing bursts out laughing.

"Oh that's a good one. How many times has that line saved your ass?"

"Twice, both times from Colt."

Soothing smiles. "He a jealous kinda guy?"

I shake my head. "No, just cautious about who he trusts."

"A wise trait."

"Yeah, but it can often leave you alone when you most want to be held. Vampires have just as fragile a mind in the right place. We live forever if we're not killed by something. All that time and no safety will drive you mad. The basic need for comfort always raises its head somewhere down the line."

"So you're saying even vampires need a hug once in a while?"

I laugh as that provokes an image of someone giving the obsidian obelisk of a vampire I know as Jaheed a hug.

"Somewhat, but where as I am happy in the arms of someone I trust. Others prefer to trust in armament."

"Like a landmine under the pillow?" he grins.

"More like a cuddly tazer. But there abouts yes."

Soothing smiles at me a bit, then his smile slips a little as he seems to be thinking about something more serious.

"So you just took comfort in the safety of the arms of those you trusted?"

"It's where I found the most comfort yes." I have a feeling that he's trying to ask something that he's feeling either uncomfortable about or he's not ready to broach it yet now is possibly a good time.

"You know, I think I will sleep here." He pulls off his shirt and reveals a nicely toned body beneath. Unlike Wyrmripper who obviously went for building of muscle, Soothing's body was muscled naturally, like you see on models.

"You'll catch flies like that."

I blink at him, then realise I've been sat there staring open mouthed at him getting undressed. Well fuck, that's twice now I've made a total spectacle of myself. I blush and quickly turn over, getting settled under the covers as my cheeks burn. A part of me is embarrassed that I got caught, another much lower part is cursing me for not watching him get undressed more.

The lights flick off and the room is dimly lit by the glow from the motel sign on the road as well as the street lights.

"Gnight Alex."

"Night Soothing. Sweet dreams."

"You too."

I close my eyes and start to drift off. Then the nightmare begins.

I can see Leonis, his normally pale skin now a darken tan. He laughs at me and raises his hand up, dragging the body of a werewolf is held in it. The werewolf struggles and tries to break free. Fangs that were too large for his mouth slide from between his lips as he laughs almost manically. I can't move, I can't get over there and stop him. The one i love, now a cruel vision. His fangs plunge into the werewolf over and over again. Blood sprays out of its body and the floor is dripping as splatters hit Leonis. The werewolf gives a shuddering groan and shifts back. From where I am I can see blonde hair and a strong upper body. Fear lances through me as I start screaming, "Soothing! SOOTHING!!!! NOOOOOO!" my body starting to shake violently.

"Alex! ALEX! Wake up!"

My eyes open and I'm panting, my body is soaked with sweat as Soothing is leaning over me shaking me. Relief floods through me and before he can react, my arms are wrapped tight around him and I start sobbing.

"You're alright, oh my god, you're alright. I'm so sorry! Oh god, I thought he'd killed you!"

"Shhh, hey, hey, easy now. It was a bad dream alright?" his arms encircle me and hug me gently.

It takes me a minute or two to calm down, but I finally manage to tell Soothing about my dream, what happened. He hasn't let me go yet and I haven't let him go either. I've gotten attached to them, they're something that if it goes wrong, I'm going to lose them. I'm scared again. I'm really scared of losing this new life, these new people. For a moment I can understand why some people run away. Why they can't bring themselves to get close to people like this when they know that from one day to the next could be the last they spend with them.

But I've had a glimpse of what life is like without them. What eternity can be without ever knowing what it's like to feel. The memories of Colt and Leonis I wouldn't trade for anything. But right now, I have opportunity to make memories just as precious from the people I have in my life, my real life.

"Hey, you good now?" asks Soothing, letting go of me and leaning back a little to look down.

I nod against his lower chest.

"You want to let go then?"

I let go of him, but I look up at him as I do and say "No."

Even in the darkened room I can see he's frowning. "So why did you?"

"Because I want to do what's right, not what I want."

"And what you want right now isn't right?"

"No, it isn't."

He pauses for a moment, still stood beside me in the darkness.

"What is it you want right now Alex?"

I take a deep breath in and let it slowly out of my mouth before responding.

"You to hold me whilst we sleep."

"Is that all?"

"Right now. Yes."

He's stood besides my bed, he doesn't move. I bite my lip and hope he forgives me for saying that. I turn over and try to get comfortable, just as I feel the covers being moved and he slides into the bed behind me. His arm slips around my chest and I automatically cuddle back in against his body. My arms come up and grasp his arm as if it was a life preserver. I close my eyes and feel him squeeze me gently.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"You're welcome." he whispers back gently.

My eyes close again, this time, I don't remember dreaming.