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THE ROYAL APPLES - Part XI

"Here they come again!" called Applejack as she peeked out the kitchen window and saw the herd of paparazzi cantering through the front gate and heading for the farmhouse. "Ah swear, the harder ya try ta keep them out, the more o' them there are. They're worse than parasprites."

"Eeeyup," her brother agreed. The red-furred stallion pulled the curtain aside and glanced out the front window, causing an eruption of flashbulbs. Fortunately, he had the foresight to put on a pair of sunglasses before exposing himself to the photographic assault. "Ah count at least thirty o' them along the front porch."

"Yeah," said Applebloom, "and there's another five between the backdoor and the old outhouse."

"Well then, there ain't nothin' ta do but stampede them varmints off the farm," Applejack said. "Y'all ready?"

Big Mac grinned at his sister. "Eeeyup!"

Applebloom stood next to the front door, a green flag in her hoof. "Alright Apples... On yer mark... Get set... GO!" She dropped the flag and flung the door open wide, jumping back as Big Macintosh charged out onto the porch, down the front steps and plowed through the crowd of paparazzi, knocking several aside. In seconds, he was in the clear and galloping towards the main gate. Every reporter still on his or her hooves bolted after him, calling for interviews and trying to take snapshots of the charging stallion. The half-dozen or so ponies, dazed by Big Mac's charge, lay sprawled in the front yard until Applejack or one of her cousins casually trotted up, hogtied them and tossed them into a nearby applecart for transport to the Ponyville Jail. The palomino paused in her labor to replace the sign one of the reporters had arrogantly torn off a nearby fence post. It read: WELCOME TO SWEET APPLE ACRES. TRESSPASSERS WILL BE BUCKED. The cow pony turned and looked at her cousins Gala Apple and Apple Seed as they carried a pegasus up to the cart.

"We caught this one sitting on top of the barn watching her fellow paw-per-aw-zee chasin' after Big Mac. She was so busy laughin' she didn't see us sneakin' up on her. Put up one hell o' a fight, but we lassoed her good."

Applejack looked at the blue-furred pony with the rainbow hued mane and tail. "Hold on one second, cousins. This one's on our side!" They put the pegasus down and within seconds the cow pony had her friend untied and ungagged.

"What the hay! That was so not cool!" Rainbow Dash grimaced, stretching her wings to get a kink or two out.

"Sorry about that sugar cube. We've been tryin' ta deal with these newsponies friendly-like for the past four days but they've been gettin' downright disrespectful. Yesterday, some of 'em even knocked down half a dozen saplings in order ta get Big Mac outside fer an interview. O' course y'all realize that means war, so we put up the signs and we're takin' this lot over ta the sheriff."

"Where was Big Mac running off to?" the pegasus asked.

"Ah don't rightly know. He just said he had a plan and took off."

"Well it must have worked because he's coming back and there aren't any paparazzi with him."

Applejack looked and sure enough here came her brother, trotting casually through the front gate, a little bit of a strut to his step and a small, satisfied look on his face. There was a thick layer of mud on his back legs and hooves. He reached the cart and begin hitching himself to in for the journey into town.

"What happened ta all yer admirers?" the cow pony asked.

"Y'all all know that rickety old wooden bridge down by the creek?"

"The one at Mud Flat Ford?" asked Applejack.

"Eeeyup."

"What about it?"

"It ain't there no more," Big Mac explained. "No one apparently told them reporters it could only be crossed one pony at a time."

"Y'all mean...?"

"Eeeyup. Every last one o' them. Likely the mud ruined a couple hundred bits worth o' camera equipment, but Ah recon it serves 'em right."

Applejack grinned wickedly while Rainbow Dash collapsed on the ground in a spasm of laughter. After a minute of non-stop snickering the pegasus got back to her hooves. "Boy... this I've got to see for myself." She rocketed off the ground and headed in the direction of the creek. Big Mac finished hitching himself to the cart and both he and his sister headed into town, leaving the morning chores in the capable hooves of their cousins.

They reached sheriff's office after about thirty minutes and off-loaded the ponies. Both farmers stood next to the sheriff, a pony named Silver Star, and watched as one of the deputies processed them and herded them into a jail cell.

"Hey... What about Freedom of the Press?" one reporter complained.

"What about respect for property rights?" the sheriff responded. "You saw the 'No Trespassing' signs, so stop complaining and pony up like any respectable colt."

"Don't be too surprised when y'all see a bunch o' ponies straggle inta town plastered in mud," Applejack warned him. "They collapsed the Mud Flat Ford Bridge.

"Were they part of this group too?"

"Eeeyup."

"None of them hurt, I hope."

"Only their pride," the red furred stallion assured him.

"Well... I figure their fines should just about cover the cost of rebuilding the bridge. Thing was becoming a hazard anyway." He grinned at the two farmers. "Don't worry, Miss Applejack, Mr. Macintosh. I'll have a little talk all these fellas and see they respect your privacy in the future."

"Much obliged," Applejack replied.

The stallion turned back to hitch himself to the cart when his sister put out a hoof. "Hold it there big bro."

"What?"

"Ain't y'all suppose ta get together with Luna this afternoon?"

"Eeeyup."

"Well, look at yer-self. Yer flanks are covered in mud and y'all haven't had a decent curry or hoof-a-cure in some time. Unless ya like lookin' scruffy fer yer lady-love, Ah'd suggest y'all join me and a couple o' ma friends over at the spa. They'll have ya lookin' like a million bits in no time."

"Kind o' expensive, ain't it?"

"We can afford it, sugar cube. Y'all should try ta relax some and enjoy yer-self."

"Well..."

"Besides... We got a Hearts and Hooves Special coupon in the mail the other day. One free make-over for every filly who brings a colt ta the spa, and since Ah ain't got no special somepony ta use it with...."

Big Mac thought about it for a moment. "Well... as long as it's free... Though it seems a might strange ta get a coupon like that four months after the holiday."

"Probably got lost at the post office. Who cares, as long as it's still good."

The stallion shrugged and the two ponies cantered off towards the spa.

**********

"So, Lulu... just what exactly are your plans for tonight?" asked Princess Celestia as she sipped on a cup of coffee over breakfast.

The dark-blue furred princess smiled coyly. "Well, I arranged for tickets to that new musical, Sweeny Trot."

"The one that opens tonight? What's it about?"

"I do not know... but considering who it stars, it should be both a bit fun and offbeat. Besides, I kind of like being surprised with something new." Luna paused as she delicately took a sip of her tea.

"Then what?" her sister asked.

"After that, we have a reservation at the Canterlot Lounge for dinner. I plan to pop the question over desert."

"Splendid," the sun princess said. "Ambush him after a good meal and he might not refuse."

"Tia! Are you suggesting he would turn me down?"

Her sister gave her a wicked grin. "He might... if you don't do something about those teeth of yours."

"What's wrong with my teeth?" Luna levitated a small silver plate in front of her and examined herself in the reflection. Sure enough, she had grown a pair of rather large fangs that hung down like that of a saber tooth pony.

"DISCORD!!!"

There was the echoing sound of laughter that faded quickly into the distance. Moments later, her teeth returned to normal.

"Honestly, Tia, I wish you'd reconsider giving him permission to prank one of us every morning to get his day started right."

Celestia chuckled. "It's a small price to pay to keep him happy and under control. Besides, I remember you laughing yesterday when he turned me into a reptilian version of myself."

"He called it a Kieran, or Dragon Horse, not a reptile."

"Still, what's good for the goose?" She paused for a moment. "Does Sir Macintosh know he's going to have to dress-up for this evening?"

"I sent a note to Applejack. She promised to have him, as she put it, all spit shined by this evening, though she doesn't yet know why."

Celestia chuckled. "I can almost picture the look on his face when you propose. It's going to be priceless."

**********

"Wouldn't it be easier if Ah just wore ma regular horse collar? Princess Celestia had it all spiffed up fer me..."

"Absolutely NOT, darling! Rarity replied. "Applejack said you were going to a Canterlot premier, and as nice as your horse collar is you need to be bedazzling when you step out with a Princess." A number of bolts of cloth fluttered around the room, laying themselves one by one against the farmer's flank. The fashionista examined each color individually. "No... No... No... well maybe... definitely not!" She smiled at Big Mac. "Red is such an unusual color to compliment, especially for summer fashions. I just love a challenge."

"Y'all sure Ah'm not puttin' you out any?" the farmer asked. "I mean, this is kinda last minute and all..."

"Don't be absurd. I've already finished the designs for my fall collection and business has been a little slow for my liking, so it really is my pleasure. Besides, when you show up to the premier in one of my creations I'm certain to get at least two dozen orders from Canterlot alone. If you prefer, just think of it as doing ME a great big favor. Now... knees straight, chest up... That's better."

The door to the shop opened and in trotted Applejack, accompanied by Twilight and Fluttershy. "So... how's the designin' comin'?"

"As well as can be expected," Rarity assured them. "There are so few colors that compliment red fur without seeming garishly. I can't go with a standard black, not on a summer design." She took a few steps back and examined Mac from several angles.

"Well, what about white?" asked Twilight, trying to be helpful.

"The trouble with white is it tends to gleam too much against a black background, and it is an evening premier... Humm!" Rarity suddenly brightened. "OH MY...IDEA!" she practically sang. A cream colored bolt of subdued satin pressed itself against the farmer. "PERFECT! This, with a matching white vest and a pale lime shirt with a slightly greener cravat to match his eyes." A yellow tape measure practically flew across the stallion's body, measuring him carefully. "Rarity... you've done it again!"

"Does it bother any pony else that she's startin' ta sound a little like Trixie?" muttered Applejack. Fluttershy quietly stifled a giggle when she heard this.

"Alright ladies, you may have him for now, but I'll need him back here in one hour for a final fitting."

"Sound's alright by us," Twilight replied. She looked at Big Mac. "Why don't you join us for lunch over at Sugar-cube Corner?"

"But Ah still have some chores ta do back home afore ma date."

"Nothing doing, Big Brother. You are officially off chores for the rest of today. Y'all can make up for it tomorrow. Ah don't want ya chipping a hoof or messin' up that nice curry job ya had this morning.'

"Yes," asserted Twilight as she and the others escorted him out of Carousel Boutique. "This is the first time you and Princess Luna will be appearing in public as a couple, and you really do want to look your best for her, don't you?"

"If ya put it that way, Eeeyup."

They arrived at Sugar-cube Corner and, with the help of Pinky Pie found a table off in one corner away from most of the other customers. They quickly placed their orders and sat back to talk about the latest doings around Ponyville. As always, Big Mac simply listened while everyone else talked, adding his trademark "Eeeyup" and "Nnnope" whenever asked a question. The meal was pleasant enough and rather uneventful except for the inevitable collision, or two, between Pinky Pie and the other waiters, one of whom the stallion didn't recognize. Throughout the meal the stallion found himself thinking of Luna, wishing she were there instead of Twilight.

When they all finished, they returned to Rarity's and watched as the fashionista made final adjustments to Big Mac's wardrobe. When she finished, she put the stallion on display for all to see. Much to his surprise, the clothes were quite comfortable. Perhaps not as much as his normal horse collar, but better than he had expected.

"Wow!" said Twilight. "He looks so... distinguished in that outfit I think he even puts Prince Blueblood to shame."

Rarity frowned. "I thought we agreed never to mention that name around me!"

There was the sound of tinkling bells and Shadow Starlight entered. "There you are! Finally," she neighed in frustration. "I've been looking for you all morning. We still have some work to do on the investment ceremony... " Her voice trailed off as her eyes fell upon Big Mac. All she could mutter was a soft, "Wow," before shaking her head and focusing once more on business.

"I also have the proofs of your shield for your approval."

"Ma what?" asked Big Mac.

"Your shield. Every knight has a heraldic shield made for them." She looked at Big Mac. "Hasn't your sister ever shown you the shield she earned as one of the Elements of Harmony?"

"Nnnope... Not as Ah can recall."

"Well, yours is to be Giles, on an Engrailed Bend of Or, Flanked by crossed Scythe and Pitchfork above and an Apple, Vert, below. Like all other Equestrian knights, your crest is a Sun and Moon entwined."

"Uh... What does all that mean?"

"Oh it's simple, darling," Rarity explained. "It means you have a red shield representing strength and selflessness with a gold, diagonal bar with wavy lines running across it that represents the land's generosity. Above the bar are a pair of farm tools representing hope and fruitful harvest and below a green apple representing hope, joy, loyalty in love, liberality, felicity and peace."

Shadow Starlight looked at the fashionista. "You've studied heraldry?"

"My dear, my life is the art of the dress. You wouldn't expect anything less than perfection, would you?"

"I suppose not," she replied, removing a scroll from her saddlebags which she opened up for all to see. It was an artist's rendering of Macintosh's shield. "What do you think? Do you like it?"

The farm pony looked at it for a moment, then nodded, a smile crossing his face. "Eeeyup."

Rarity looked over Shadow's shoulder then suddenly brightened. "OH... OH MY! IDEA!" she sing-sang. Big Mac found himself abruptly confronted with a veritable cloud of sewing needles and several spools of thread that, under the unicorn's precise guidance, threaded themselves with the needles. "Now, whatever you do... DON'T MOVE!"

The stallion gulped and closed his eyes as the needles vigorously attacked the left lapel of his jacket. Two minutes and forty-two seconds later he heard Rarity tell him it was safe to look. He opened his eyes and saw a mirror being held in front of him. In it was the reflection of a miniature version of the shield, embroidered onto his lapel."

"That was simply amazing," said Shadow Starlight. I've never seen anyone with that kind of magical dexterity before." She looked at the fashionista. "Do you take special orders?"

"Rarity smiled. "All the time, darling."

"Wonderful! I have a cousin who's getting married in about two months and I want to recommend she come to you for her gown."

A small business card floated up from a nearby desk and hovered in front of Starlight. "Just have her contact me sometime this week so I can book her into my schedule," Rarity said. She then proceeded to delicately strip her work from Big Mac, hanging each piece up for final inspection and trimming of loose threads. For a moment, the plow pony found himself standing completely undressed in front of a gaggle of appreciative mares, well, except for Applejack who politely turned her head and Fluttershy who hunkered down and covered her eyes. He quickly donned his horse collar, making him feel a bit more, 'decent'.

Shadow Starlight glanced around the boutique. "Is there someplace where I can continue preparing Sir Macintosh for his investment?"

"You can use the library," offered Twilight. "It's not far and there's a small conference room that could easily suit your purposes."

The unicorn bowed gracefully. "Thank-you, your highness, but I wouldn't want to impose my presence on your home."

"Please, it would be my pleasure," the alicorn insisted. "The library's open to all; and if you would, save the formalities for, well formalities. My name is Twilight."

"Yes Prin... ah... I mean Twilight. Thank-you!" She turned to the stallion. "Come along, Sir Macintosh. We have quite a bit to cover before your chariot for this evening arrives."

Applejack looked at her friends. "Speakin o' which, Ah should get back ta the farm and make sure our cousins haven't burned the place down." She turned to face Big Mac. "You play nice and keep ta yer lessons. Ah'll be back in time ta see ya off on yer shindig."

"Yes... and I should really get back to my cottage and check on a couple of sick otters I'm treating," said Fluttershy.

With that, everyone departed the boutique, leaving Rarity to finish her work.