Chapter 20 - Step Forth....

I flinch. "Urgh, I'm not really eager to go back to the burning river any time soon."

Lawrence looks totally blank at me. Soothing coughs.

"You weren't in the umbra there, you used it to travel to the land of Erebus. Erebus is one of the lands that is within the Umbra. There are other ones that we know of, but getting to them isn't so easy."

"Oh... So what's the umbra look like then?" I ask.

Lawrence smirks. "If you get up off your ass, grab something shiny then I'll show you."

I raise an eyebrow but get up, a quick look around and I grab the little mirror on the side.

"Okay, so now what?"

"The umbra is attached to this world. To get to it, you pass through the gauntlet. The shiny surface, look into it and realise that it's just a door. It's right there in front of you, feel the connection within yourself and see the door then..." he grins at me and Soothing.

"You step." and he sidesteps into the wall, vanishing clear through it. I hear Soothing give a low whistle.

"What?"

"Did you see him look into anything shiny?"

I shake my head and then frowns. "What does that mean?"

"It means that he's got that good a connection that he doesn't require it anymore. That's usually a high ranking garou ability, but if he's been a nuwisha as long as you say then that means his connection is natural. THATS rare, it also means that you should be fucking careful alright?"

I nod. "Don't worry, I know Lawrence, I'm sure it'll be fine."

I take a deep breath and look into the mirror in front of me, concentrating on thinking how it's just a door, how the spirit world is there and how I have the connection within me. With that, I take a step forward. It's like walking through water, the world flows and ripples around me, I push forward as hard as I can and each step is heavy and hard. It's like the world is taffy and sticking to me as I move slowly through.

I don't know how long it takes me to step all the way through, but the other side makes me stop. I seem to be in copy of the world I was in, only there seems to be ghostly images of the building I was in. The whole thing seems to be made of a mesh of spider webs. It all looks rather eerie, stepping out of the building and I can see that the area where the car park is replaced by green grass, there's even a tree.

Stood below it is Soothing and Lawrence, they look like they're having a pretty deep conversation. At least, they were, but now apparently Lawrence just kissed Soothing!

A surge of jealousy and anger sweeps through me, my hands clench reflexively and a growl escapes my lips. How dare he!?! My body must be on autopilot because I'm already halfway to them before I realise that I can't just deck Lawrence for a kiss. I mean come on, it's Lawrence, he's always been the flirty type. I'm sure it's nothing more, I mean he can't have had time to like get to know Soothing like I have, there's no way that it was anything more than that, is there?

"Hello? Earth to Alex?" says Lawrence.

I snap my head up, I'm stood in front of the pair and I don't remember getting all the way here, I must have been wrapped up in my own thoughts. Even now I'm still resisting the urge to clock Lawrence one, not that I should feel this way. There's nothing between Soothing and me. Nothing.

"Sorry, I must have taken the long way in or something."

"I wouldn't worry, it happens. Stepping through the gauntlet can be difficult, though I should have been a bit less smart assed and done it in a place where it's a bit thinner instead of a motel." he grins at me. I just want to wipe the smug look off his face with a solid right hook right now. What the fuck is up with me? I've never been jealous like this before.

"So you gonna show me or what?" I snap out. Lawrence and Soothing glance at each other and Lawrence's smile slips a little.

"Err, okay. So how comfortable are you with your beast forms?" says Lawrence.

"I've gone into half wolf half man and full werewolf. I haven't tried any others yet."

"Well, you've got a total of 5 forms of course. First off is your human one which you're in right now, garou refer to this one as Homid. Then we have stage two, which is a sort of part beast mainly human."

His ears become more pointed, his body grows a little taller, claws slip from the tip of his fingers.

"The garou refer to this form as your glabro, the near human. As a Nuwisha, we have a different name, but that's not important right now. Your third form is your war form, the one used for mainly fighting."

I watch as his body grows even taller, a muzzle blooms from his face, his ears pointing full up into brown tips as his clothes seem vanish and he's wearing a pair of jeans around his waist and that's it. He looks like a werewolf should, but it's not right.

"As you're probably guessed and I mentioned earlier, I'm a nuwisha, a werecoyote. So my form is rather different to yours. This form to the garou is referred to as crinos. Of course, that's only part three. There's still two more to go."

He steps back and drops down onto all fours, I realise that with his change into the werecoyote form, his arm length has increased, so he should be able to run on all fours. Yet he's obviously changing again, his arms are shortening a little as are his legs and changing angle more, I didn't realise how much closer to the animal legs they'd shifted in his previous form, now he's on all fours as a very large coyote.

"This is the fourth form, your hispo form. The dire wolf, this is another form suited to battle. Then finally you have your fifth form."

He seems to shrink a bit more, the coyote becoming normal sized and I stand blinking a few times. He looks like a dog.

"This is what the garou would call lupus form. The wolf. Of course you know that your forms will be rather different from mine, but the principle is the same." he sits on his hindquarters and seems to be grinning at me.

"Right, so I should be able to shift into those forms too?"

"Yup. Though I'm still waiting for the penny to drop."

I scowl in annoyance at him. The fuck is he on about here? As if it wasn't bad enough seeing him smooching up to Soothing, now I've got him sat here being all smug and telling me about shit that I...!

"Fuck! I can understand what you're saying!"

Lawrence lets out a chittering laugh, the kind only a coyote can make, it makes me shudder a little, not a fan of that!

"Yup, so, you gonna try it?" he jumps up and he's back in his, crinos form did he call it? The werecoyote wearing a pair of jeans. I glance at Soothing who's been watching us both, he smiles softly at me.

"Go on then Alex, show him what you can do."

I swallow past the annoyance. I'm angry at the pair of them because I'm jealous. They could have something and all because this goddamn prancing asshole is a different breed. He wasted no fucking time in moving on the guy and after how long losing Tyr? The fuck does he think he's playing at?!

My anger bubbles away, I'm seething and my body is reacting to it. I feel the muscles stretching, my body shifting and becoming larger, much larger. The anger I'm feeling starts to slip from my throat in a deep rumbling growl. There's a gasp and I look down at Lawrence. He's stepped back and his jaw is wide open, staring at me in disbelief.

"Holy fuck, you're huge!"

I tower over him and the urge to smash my fist down onto him cuts through me again. I bite my tongue a little as I force myself to get a grip. Lawrence is my friend, he doesn't deserve that. Yet it's Soothing's look that catches my eye, he's frowning and looking rather puzzled at me.

"What's wrong?" I growl deeply.

Soothing looks up at me. "Your fur... It's not the same colour as before."

"Huh?"

"When you changed the first time, you were a mucky brown and black. Now your fur is a bright grey, almost white, apart from around your eyes, it's black."

I actually take some time to look down at myself, my legs are covered in the light grey fur, they're also a lot bigger! I feel a blush rising as I realise that's not the only thing that's bigger and it doesn't quite look the same. I automatically put my paws across my groin and look up at Soothing and Lawrence. Lawrence is smirking.

"You're just gonna have to get used to that hun, seriously, don't worry about your dick swinging in the breeze, any person who see's you that's 'not' a garou will be going gaga. Seriously, I mean seriously insane. Humans can't handle seeing stuff like that and keep their heads. You're gonna want to be discreet and never let them see you change, unless you're gonna off them."

"How come you have jeans?"

He grins at me. "Quirk of the breeds. Plus I didn't get the added size bonus like you."

I squirm and blush some more. This situation has gone from annoying to embarrassing, I mean, it's not like it's anything Lawrence hasn't either seen or had other parts on before. But still, there's Soothing there too and yeah, I feel more than slightly embarrassed to be buck naked in front of him.

"So how come I wasn't naked after the last time I transformed?"

"Oh, we took care of that. There's a detailed explanation as to what we did, but I'll do that later, short version, we used our power on them." Says Soothing.

"Oh, so you totem dedicated them?"

"Yes, how the hell did you know about that?"

I blush still and fight not to squirm. "I was curious as to why I didn't get to see Colt naked more often if he lost clothes every time he changed."

Lawrence lets out a barking laugh and Soothing shakes his head gently.

"Well, you seem to be getting a grasp on your beast somewhat Alex. I'm surprised, it took me a bit to get in touch with mine, but then again, I wasn't exactly in a position where people could welcome me with open arms." Says Lawrence.

The touch of bitterness at the end of that was palpable. What must he have gone through when he was changed? Colt can't have been kind towards him, considering all that he'd been through with me. I don't know who else might have been there, I know that he wouldn't have had Tyr, that would have made things a lot easier for him there. Still, as harsh as it could have been, why the fuck was he kissing Soothing?

I can still feel a twinge of anger rush through me at that thought. I don't remember ever being this angry about anything and more importantly, shouldn't I be jealous at the thought of Lawrence being around Colt so much? That thought brings another wave of jealousy and anger, of course I'm jealous, he's got something I can't have again, he gets to be around Colt. Though, the more I think about it, the more I realise that although I have my heart set on wanting to see Colt again, this new life of mine, it's forcing me to move away from the old one. I'm the last one clinging to the parts of my past. Maybe I should let Colt move on without me, what would my apology do for him? What would seeing me like this honestly prove other than I can go from one accident to another?

"Alex.. Why are you crying?" says Lawrence.

I look up startled, then my hands press against my furred cheeks. They're damp, I must have been crying through the whole of my thinking.

"I.. I just was thinking too hard about something..."

"The emotions you're feeling are bound to be strong hun, I know you've not been dead as long as I was, but you clung to your humanity and getting it back will be a shock to your system. Some feelings will be stronger than others due to the... Circumstances that you're put in." He looks away again,

"What are you hiding Lawrence?" I growl out.

"Huh?"

"You're wanting to tell me something but you don't want to actually say it. You've done this ever since I've known you. Saying something without actually saying it. Well, since you're reacting strangely every time I mention Colt then it has to do with him."

Lawrence does his slow blink and then sighs and holds his paws palm up in front of him in a gesture of surrender.

"Okay, of course, I should have known better. Look, after I lost Tyr, I was given a chance by the pack and Colt was the one who actually spent a little time with me and I got to like him. I'm worried that the feelings might just be me clinging to the first shred of kindness shown me. I do kind of like him alright? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."

I growl deeply. "No, you should not. Now are you going to teach me more?"

Lawrence winces and his ears flatten back as he looks away.

"When you are either in the umbra or the physical world, you can peer from one to the other using the same principal as you used to get here. However instead of physically stepping here, you just use the shiny surface to look through the gauntlet. Be aware, doing this will leave you blind and deaf to whatever realm you are currently in."

I nod, makes sense, but I don't have any reflective surfaces nearby right this moment.

"Don't worry, you can practice that later. I guess right now we should go with the basic let's see how you fight."

I look at the skinny figure that I had called friend for the last 8 years. Even in this new form, he looked like I'd snap him.

"You serious? I'll break you."

"Maybe. You're bigger than anyone else I've sparred with, but as long as neither of us use claws or fangs, we shouldn't die. Besides, your size is going to make this difficult for you. I have bigger targets to hit now than before and I'm betting that you're not used to it fully yet. I've had time to acclimatise to my new form."

"So you're saying that I get to hit you basically?"

"You get to try, yes."

I grin widely, I can feel all my teeth being bared in the motion, I actually hear Lawrence gulp.

"Let's go." I dart forward and swing my arm forward in a thrusting punch.

I don't even get close to connecting, he's gone with a speed I'd not seen in quite some time. It was one hell of a surprise that he was still that fast. But he's dodged to the side and his spin has brought up his right foot, he's aiming for a backwards roundhouse right at my face!

I barely manage to twist out of the way of the kick, feeling it skim across my face as I turn towards him, my larger step managing to take me barely out of the range of the strike. I growl and step in towards him and bring my own kick up, aiming to smash my foot into his side.

He flips over sideways, my kick passing underneath him and as he hits the floor he springs at me, both feet snapping out and slamming into my chest. It pushes me back but doesn't even wind me. I snarl and rush forward intending to tackle him like a rugby player.

He flips over forwards at the last moment and I feel both feet smash into my back, sending me forward into the floor and scraping in up my arms and chest. It hurts and now, I'm pissed off. The familiar redness starts seeping into my vision and I'm up with a roar of anger.

"Uh oh. Lawrence, Alex hasn't learned to harness his rage yet." I hear Soothing say.

Harness my rage? I'm fucked off right now! I'll show him rage!

A right hook goes flying towards Lawrence this time, he ducks below it, but I'm ready this time. I as the punch starts to pass over his head I reverse the direction and bring my elbow down. He's fast enough to dodge that one too by shoving himself backwards, but he's off balance and I step in, pushing the elbow up into an uppercut that connects with his crossed arms, clever bastard got his guard up in time. But the momentum and strength I put behind it carries him up into the air slightly and backwards, he skids back with a 'woooomph!' of air forced from him. He kept his balance, but that had to smart.

I feel dizzy, the red has faded and the burst of anger as well. That has worn me out faster than I thought. This isn't good, what kind of fighter loses his bursts this fast?

Lawrence coughs and rubs his chest "Fuck, that was close. Damn, I've never actually gone up against someone pushing themselves like that. Didn't realise you'd channel your rage like that so fast."

"You keep talking about rage as if it's a living entity within me, what gives?"

"Well, from what I've gathered, rage is similar to what we used with blood. Most were creatures can draw on the power of their rage to enable them to be faster, ignore pain or in some cases increase their very strength." says Lawrence

"Oh, so you use yours to move faster?" I ask.

"I don't have rage, it's not a gift that the nuwisha possess."

"The fuck?!" says Soothing, "You serious? You move that fast without tapping into rage?!"

Lawrence grins and nods. "Surprise. That's why I'm one of the main warriors for our pack."

I raise an eyebrow, it does surprise me that he'd be a main warrior rather than Colt, but to be truthful, Colt always did prefer to use hardware to avoid confrontation, it made it safer to do a job. I'd liked hearing that, things to make sure he came home safe. The fact that Lawrence was a warrior did catch me off guard quite considerably, but now thinking on it, he'd always avoid fights. No one challenged him because half of the time they didn't see the point, the other half was that he'd survived quite a lot, 'before' he got his tiger protector. There was more to Lawrence than met the eye, he'd kept a lot of things under wraps and now he was showing me some of the tricks he'd picked up.

That still didn't explain why the fuck he was kissing Soothing!