Chapter 21 - Green Eyed Monster

"So, do you think you're starting to get the hang of that form of yours?" Asks Lawrence.

We must have been at this for a couple of hours, trading blows, well. I say trading blows, I hadn't managed to lay a single decent one on him, but to be fair I'd shrugged off most of what he'd thrown at me as well. I nod and stretch out, the reach on my form was greater and a new level of strength to get used to, but I'm getting a good grip on it for now.

"I'm getting the hang of it, yeah."

Lawrence nods. "Sweet. Well, shall we make our way back to the room? I'm a little on the tired side."

I nod and we all head back to the room. I have to shift back down to get back through the doorway though.

"To save you both messing around, grab my hands." Lawrence holds out a hand to each of us.

Soothing takes his hand, I'm a little slower to do so.

"So why are we doing this?" I ask.

"Because I can step through easier and rather than spend the next half an hour waiting for you to get through, I can just do this." he pulls us both sideways and we're back in the room straight away. There was not time to feel the sensation of walking through water or anything, we were just back.

"Whoa, so you can do it that easily?"

Lawrence nods gently. "Be careful with sidestepping. We didn't run into anything over there this time, but there's a lot more beasties on the umbral side that I've not run into but can be nasty. You're gonna need to learn on how to draw on your inner power or rather your connection with gaia. That's what allows you to step back and forth easier, but on top of that you use that power to fuel certain abilities, when you're taught them."

I nod and sigh, flopping onto my bed. Lawrence had been rather kind to do all this, but it doesn't explain why he was kissing Soothing.

"Excuse me a moment, gonna use the bathroom." Lawrence says and heads into it.

I turn and look at Soothing, he's been awfully quiet through all of this. Standing watching us both going at it and saying very little. Soon I'll be joining his pack officially, but this is going to bug me if I don't just ask him.

"Soothing?"

"Hrm?"

"Why were you kissing Lawrence?"

He blushes bright red and turns his head away.

"That's hardly any of your business Alex."

Okay, that stings. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Of course it was none of my business, I mean it's not like I had any feelings for you is it Soothing? Course not, I still want my wolf I left behind in my world, but no I can't have that either but Lawrence will look after him! Of course he will!

A snarl escapes my lips and I'm up again heading towards the door, I need some air. I have to go for a walk or something and cool down. I'm so pissed off I can barely hold it in. It feels like there's a part of me that just wants to rip the entire room apart and tear Lawrence to shreds. I hear Soothing say something to me but I ignore him and yank the door open.

I stop dead, there's two police officers in front of the door, one was about to knock when I pulled the door open and now they both look angry that I surprised them. Good, why the fuck should I be the only one?

Wait a min, what the hell are police doing here?

"Afternoon Sir. May we have a word?" says the first one. He's a pretty big guy, I'd guess about mid thirties, with an almost clean shaven look. His eyes are harsh though, I don't like the way he's looking at him. Maybe if I smash his teeth in it'd make him stop looking at me like that.

The thought pulls me back rapidly. I'm thinking about assaulting a police officer right now, I've never wanted to hurt anyone before and now it's all I can do not to run around beating people to death with their own body parts.

"Uh, of course officers, please come in." I motion them in. His partner is a bit taller than he is and dark skinned. He's pretty well built too but the beginnings of a gut is starting just above his belt, maybe he should run more often or something.

God, my thoughts are a jumble, I can't focus so well and all I want to do is smash things. I have to focus, have to concentrate. This beast, this anger, it's nothing compared to the beast I fed when I was a vampire. This wanted to hurt people just out of anger, the other used to just kill for the hell of it. I refuse to give into this one just as much as I refused to give into the other. As the police officers walk past me, I know they're watching me but I can't afford to be this way, so I take a deep breath through my nose and let it out of my mouth.

"Something wrong Sir?" asks cop two.

"No, you just caught me having a moment of self pitying anger, that's all." I reply bluntly. Might as well go with the truth, saves farting around later.

The two cops glance at each other, then one pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket, unfolding it he holds it up for me to look at.

"We're looking for this girl."

It's Rin alright, though she has lovely black hair in this picture, looks like it comes down to her waist. She's also wearing a rather pretty dress and looking fucking miserable. Oh fun. I hope that Wyrmripper and those two are alright.

"Hrm, I haven't seen anyone like that I'm afraid officer."

He turns to Soothing and holds up the picture. Soothing looks it over and shakes his head as well.

"You were here last night sirs, we understand that she was with a man next door."

He pulls out another piece of paper, unfolds it and it's Riyada this time, not a good picture, but then again it's a police processing photo.

"Oh yeah, we saw him get taken away this morning by you guys. I didn't notice anyone with him though."

"Are you sure you haven't seen or heard anything about this girl? It's very important that she's returned to her mother. Her father took her away without permission and her mother is very worried."

I shake my head again. "I'm sorry I don't have anything officer, we spent all evening in here."

The dark one snorts. "Getting cosy together huh?"

That sets my ire up. "I'm sorry officer?"

"You heard me, I'm not surprised you two fags didn't see anything if all you were doing was each other."

My eyes narrow, the idea of tearing this guy's arm off and beating him with the soggy end seeming very appealing to me right now. What's worse is that the other officer is stood there grinning! It's all I can do to hold myself back and I'm actually biting my lip to stifle a growl.

"As I said officers, we have nothing to help you with."

"I know that, but I think you two faggots are lying through your dick holes. So I'm thinking that maybe we should take you in any way for questioning."

The door to the bathroom opens, Lawrence steps through and looks surprised. I know he's acting, no way in hell he didn't hear these idiots, but he does do stage performances for a living so this is hardly a surprise.

The look on the officer's faces on the other hand is very surprising. The pair of them look at each other then back at Lawrence.

"Oh! Inspector Blake! We didn't realise.."

"Of course you didn't realise, the pair of you go balls deep without thinking. Now get the fuck out and I'll remember the faggot comments!" Lawrence cuts the pair off.

"Yes sir, sorry sir." the pair stammer and run out.

Okay, so maybe I'll get to smack the shit out of this Lawrence after all. Growling I turn on him.

"Chill out Alex, looks like the me from this world is an Inspector, that's lucky."

"Yeah, lucky. So you just happened to react fast enough to tell them to fuck off?"

He snorts "You should have seen how fast I pretended to be a Black Spiral when I was being chased by Skin Dancers. I hate lying, but if it'll help the situation I'll do it without a second thought. Speaking of second thoughts, I want to go have a word with those two idiots before they run off. Let's see if I can find out where our friend is being held."

He actually jogs out the door and after the two police officers. I let him go, I'm not fucking happy.

"Alex."

"What?!" I snarl.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Obviously not Lawrence's tongue." I storm out the door and slam it behind me.

Okay, that was seriously childish, even by child standards. But I just can't take it right now. I'm walking down the road and fuck knows what was around me because all I can see in my head is Lawrence kissing Soothing. Why is it infuriating me so? We're not allowed to have relationships, we're not allowed to do this, it's a whole world of 'this should not be fucking happening so why the hell is it?!'

GRAH!

I start running, I can't just walk this off. I need to burn some of this energy and I can't do it just by walking. The world starts to shoot by as I run faster and faster down the road. I can't imagine what people must think I'm doing, but I really don't fucking care right now. There's some parkland to my right, I can smell the grass. I make a bee line for the area and start to jog around it. I'm finally calming down some, not quickly though. My breath is coming in heavy over and over, till I'm panting like a bitch. The grass looks inviting and after a quick look of the area, I slump to the floor. It smells nice and the grass feels great against my skin, but I can't shake the feelings so well.

The tears that were held back by the anger start to seep out. Everything is going wrong. I can't be with the man I loved because he's in another world and he hates my guts. Now I can feel again, I'm feeling that Soothing is so nice and I want to be around him but I can't, it's not allowed. It's never allowed, why aren't I allowed to be happy?!

"You are allowed to be happy you know Alex. It's just going to be a while before you find the happy medium."

I snarl and sit up, there's Lawrence. When the fuck did he get here?

"What the fuck? How did you get here? How did you know that's what I was thinking?"

"How do you think? I've been through what you're going through. You're lucky because you still have people around you who actually like you. Whether or not I care for anyone around me doesn't make a difference right now. I'm still the screw up. Yet they're giving me time and a chance to prove myself and maybe someday one of them might actually start to like me. You've landed on your feet and although I know it's going to be hard being that close to someone and never being allowed to go that final step, you can make it work. I managed it and I wouldn't have if it wasn't for you."

I sniff and rub my eyes. "But it can't be, it can't be what I want it to be."

Lawrence nods sadly. "I know, but you have more than most, don't let your wants and needs cloud your vision to what you 'have'. Believe me, you don't know what you had until you give it up."

"So what do I have that you don't?"

"A brother. A chance at a real life with people who really care about you. Soothing likes you a lot and it sounds like Wyrmripper does too, but as an alpha he can't obviously admit that. Don't drown in your despair Alex, as a shifter, our sorrow can run very deep and cripple you. Believe me, I nearly drown myself in it. If it wasn't for realising that Tyr would never forgive me for giving up the life I'd just been given, I wouldn't be stood here talking to you."

I sniffle again and rub my nose. "So is that why you're eyeing Colt? As a replacement Tyr?"

Lawrence blushes and shakes his head. "Hardly. Colt is a wonderful man and I see why you were attracted to him. He's given me the time of day and has been the one to actually trust me to try to do things for him. I don't think for a moment he's even remotely interested in me because he's still hurting from you. I want to help him and make him feel better. That much I can say honestly, anything further I'm scared might be because I'm not used to feelings again, though I can't say I don't want more than just the odd pat on the back."

"So why kiss Soothing?"

Lawrence erks at this point, then he sighs.

"I can't explain that right this second I'm afraid, but I will soon. Just believe me when I say it was a spur of the moment thing alright?"

I sniffle a little and stand up, brushing off the grass from my jeans and shirt.

"You better tell me soon Alex."

"I will, I promise."

"So how come you get to do stuff with garou and I can't?"

"I told you, I'm a nuwisha. They're not the same breed. The rule with garou is they may not mate with one another for fear of producing the metis, an inbred, so to speak. They are born with deformities which are burdens they must carry for their lives which are often short and violent. It's not something you'd want to wish on anyone, so the rule was put there more to protect future lives, not to destroy other lives."

"So you get different rules?"

"Yeah, mine are different, but whilst I run with Colt and the pack, I have to follow yours too. If I was a female nuwisha then it would still be alright because any reproduction wouldn't produce metis. There's less chance of it being a garou or a nuwisha, but it's never a metis of the two."

"Why's that?"

He shrugs gently. "Something to do with the soul and connection with gaia I think. I don't know on that one, I'm pretty much repeating what I've been told."

"So basically, you can be with a garou if you wanted to?"

"Yes, but of course, that's dependent if they wanted me. Right now, that's more than just slightly unlikely."

"Would you look after him?"

"Hrm?"

"Colt. If he developed feelings for you, would you look after him?"

"I already am trying to Alex. He's earned my respect and more importantly he's someone I like a lot. Unless his feelings turn for the worse for me, then I'll look after him as best he lets me."

"So even if he doesn't love you back, you'll still be there when he needs you?"

Lawrence nods and I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding. My body shudders and I close my eyes, this is it. This is where I have to start accepting that it can't be me there watching out for him or him watching out for me. I have to let go and put my faith in Lawrence.

"Okay. Let's get back to the motel. I think I need to sleep this off." I say.

Lawrence nods and walks besides me until we get to the road, as we walk down, I see a police car parked up on the opposite side of the road.

"Do you know all your rules yet?" asks Lawrence

"Huh? No, not yet, I know some of them."

He nods. "Mine are pretty simple, Be subtle. Respect Luna. Always Prank the Wyrm. Think, then act. Let fools die a fool's death and then there's the last one."

"What's that then?"

"Teach those who need teaching a proper lesson."

"Huh, that's gotta be difficult, I mean. You've only just started learning yourself haven't you?"

"Yeah, but there's an important lesson I've already learned that I do think you should learn."

"What's that?"

Pain races through my body. I recognise it, it's a feeling I haven' t had in quite some time. I hear the crackling and buzzing sound of the tazer that's pressed against my body and I drop to the floor twitching.

"Don't be so trusting."