An Interesting Job Offer
Looking for extremely dedicated workers
***Warning: the following contains implied watersports and scat eating
Here at Spring City track we are doing our part to protect the environment by installing new biological low water consumption toilets in our horse stalls. Our equine racers were quite insistent that we test out this fascinating new technology.
The average toilet uses 1.5 gallons per flush. To put this in perspective, an average fur consumes approximately half a gallon of water every day. Based on this concept, an extremely efficient toilet can be made using a fur, some plumbing, and a brief surgery/installation process. A catheter will be inserted and the large intestine will be cut to redirect waste more directly out of the body. Water and most nutrients will be given intravenously.We still searching for interested applicants. Monetary compensation will be given upon completion of the three month trial. Please fill out the attached paperwork and mail it to us in the postage prepaid envelope. Medical care will be completely covered during the three month trial period of the contract. If you do not want to continue working for us after the three months, you will be free to go and all physical alterations will be reversed to allow for normal body function.
No previous job experience is necessary, but a positive attitude is an attribute we are looking for. A brief face to face interview will be scheduled shortly after we receive your application; of course, it will soon be face to quite a different body part.If this job doesn't sound in good taste, you can also apply to be a masseur for our race horses. They have a lot of tension built up and could really use a release.