Chapter 29 - Is This.....?

Movement in my bed wakes me up, I open my eyes and I see the back of Soothing sliding out of bed. His broad shoulders accentuated by the beautiful blonde hair fanning out and brushing his neck. My eyes drink in the sight until I see the scars across his back. Four huge lines which must be claw marks are on his back. Laying there I wait to be surprised or pitying about them, but I can only think at how powerful this man must be to have marks like that.

I can feel my pulse quickening as he stands up and my gaze travels lower across his back and to the trim of his boxers. His muscled rear causing all the saliva in my mouth to dry up as he bends down and pulls up his trousers. I'm almost disappointed that such a fantastic sight is being covered up, but he looks like a model for a jean's advert and it takes nothing away from how he looks. I'm sure right now that my heart rate is matching that of a marathon runner's.

However my heart promptly stops as he turns around and fixes me with the most beautiful smile I'd seen. A twinge of guilt pangs through me as I think of the times with Colt, but I had never woken up with him. This was something new that I couldn't really describe how wonderful it was.

"Morning. I'm gonna grab us some coffee, you're going to be needed very soon, so don't laze too much." he says.

I smile and nod at him. I must look like a love struck puppy right now, but I don't give a shit. Even if I'm not getting sex, I don't care, this is worth it to wake up each morning and see this. I can do this, I can honestly find a new life and be happy.

Soothing walks out of the door topless and barefoot, my gaze never leaving him as he walks out the door. I stretch out and sigh with a huge smile on my face. This is magnificent. Though I do wonder how long it will be before my urges get a little too carnal for me to manage.

"I thought he'd never leave." says a very familiar voice.

I sit bolt upright and stood at the end of the room is the Rick Moranis mage! The hell is he doing here?!

I snarl and open my mouth to shout something, but the sheets shoot up my body, covering my mouth and squeezing me tight. I can barely breathe!

"Not this time. I paid attention to that nasty little ability of yours last time. It doesn't seem to be quite so effective when I'm not aiming it at you though." he grins.

I glare at him and reach inside myself, screaming to my beast. My body starts to shift and getting bigger, however it's negated as I hear some clinking, moments before burning pain against my skin. I stop shifting and try to scream into my sheet muzzle. Looking down I realise the sheets below me are gone, replaced by silver chains!

"Hold still idiot and you might survive this. Not that I care either way. I want what you absorbed, back." says Rick.

I look up at him in horror, surely he can't mean? As I'm thinking this, something appears next to him, it looks like garou, but it's wrong, very wrong. The whole thing is a Frankenstein. Stitched together from parts that look like they don't belong together, all of them different shades of a mucky brown or black. Held together by what appears be white stitches. I have to swallow back the bile that's rising in my throat.

Rick, aims a key at me, it's the same one as the one he aimed at me that day. Oh no.

My chest feels like it's being torn open, I can feel 'something' inside me being pulled out and it hurts, it hurts like hell. I look down, expecting to see my internal organs being pulled out through my chest, but there's just a glow appearing, there's no blood. It confuses me for a moment, but the pain takes over again. It takes me a moment but I realise it's the very definition of soul wrenching pain. I can feel my soul being wrenched in my body.

I scream into the binding material, my body bound tightly as I try to struggle. Oh god this hurts! I can feel claws sliding through my insides like someone has placed an animal inside me and is trying to pull it out slowly. The thought gets my eyes open for a moment and I see it on my chest, very slowly being pulled from my chest is fur. Just like you'd pick up an animal by the scruff of the neck, slowly from my chest a wolf is pulled out.

I'm screaming over and over and thrashing and crying. The pain is excruciating, it's so intense that I can't even pass out, it's preventing me from doing so. In this moment I'm almost praying for death, to stop it from hurting so badly. There's no other thoughts going through my head other than the pain and then, it stops.

I feel my eyes roll back into my head and darkness is the last thing I remember.

"ALEX! ALEX! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?" Screams a familiar voice, my body being shook over again.

I groan softly and slowly open my eyes, the world slowly coming into focus as I realise it's Soothing above me, shaking me. He's got tears in his eyes and he's looking absolutely distraught.

"Soothing..." I manage to croak out, my voice hoarse from screaming.

My body feels wrong, I feel all disjointed. No, that's not quite right. My thoughts slowly come into focus. My body feels fine, it's me, it feels wrong. I close my eyes and try to sit up.

"Alex, what happened?!" says Soothing besides me.

"Alex, is that really you?" says another voice, it takes me a moment then I realise it's Rain.

"Of course bro... Why ask something... Like that?" I groan.

Sitting up, thing start to come back into focus, then I start to notice it. A hollow feeling. Like you're looking at the world through someone else's eyes. Around me is stood Soothing, Rain, Wyrmripper and Claw. I frown softly, they're all looking at me oddly. Soothing looks upset and so does Rain, but he looks ready to burst into tears. Wyrmripper looks very concerned, but Claw looks ready to kill me. The fuck is going on?

"Alex, what happened dammit!?" snarls Soothing.

I wince and turned to him.

"I'm sorry. That mage, the one from the prison who attacked. He appeared right after you left the room and tied me up. Then he... He..."

I feel my eyes widening as the realisation hits me. I reach inside of me and I feel it, or more accurately, I don't. My body feels hollow, because there's a huge part of me missing. The fur I saw being pulled from my chest, it was my beast. He had ripped the beast from my body and torn the pieces of it stuck in my soul out.

"My beast.. He... He took.... He..." I feel my face becoming hot with tears sliding down my cheeks.

I must be in shock, says the rational part of my brain, I'm guessing the emergency paramedic part of me has taken control and I'm on autopilot. I'm physically unharmed for some reason, my body doesn't even hurt where I felt the burning of the chains. I'm also untied now, but still in my bedroom.

Looking down at my body, I raise my hands up and looks at them. They're trembling, but I can't see any physical difference in my body. I look the same, but I certainly don't 'feel' the same. In fact, I don't feel a lot at the moment.

I grit my teeth a little as I worry for a moment that I have become a vampire again, but that's not quite right. I don't feel the need for blood like I did when I was a vampire. The thought makes me feel relieved and I realise I can still feel, so I can't be a vampire. But still, it doesn't feel right, it's like I'm wearing gloves over my hands even though I'm not, or that I'm sat a few inches away from myself, it's not actually me there.

"Alex, what happened. Tell us the whole thing." Wyrmrippers firm voice cuts into my thoughts.

I look at him and the whole thing comes tumbling from my mouth. Everyone looks at each other, as if searching for answers or reasoning. Even Soothing turns to Wyrmripper, not looking very happy.

"So.... You're human again?" says Wyrmripper.

The thought stabs through my chest like a knife. He's right, I'm a regular mortal human now.

"I.. Guess... " I look at them all. My heart is hammering, I'm alive, but I'm human. What would this mean?

"HAH, at least you and Soothing can get it on now!" laughs Claw.

I don't actually manage to keep up with Soothing or Wyrmripper's movements. But the next thing I know, Claw has smashed into the wall and both Soothing and Wyrmripper are stood over him snarling. I know I didn't blink, but it was like I was working in slow motion. Everything seemed... Duller. Like you'd turned the settings down on the telly, the sounds were like they were muffled as if I'd got a cold and same with the scents in the air. My entire body felt like I had a severe case of the flu, minus the aching. It was like my very soul was ill. I didn't feel right at all and it was beginning to make me feel very upset.

"I don't feel right." I say and even my voice sounds shaky and wrong.

"It'll be alright big bro, we'll fix it. I promise" says Rain, sniffling gently.

"Get out Claw. Go do your usual shit." snarls Wyrmripper.

Claw picks himself up off the floor and limps out. I notice some red dots on the floor when he walked past, but I can't smell anything. I was nose blind right now.

"You don't have your beast any more Alex... You can't pick up the scent of the blood." says Soothing.

I turn to look at him and he puts a hand gently on mine. Like a shock I can feel something again. For a moment it feels like I slipped back into my skin and I can feel his hand. A smile appears on my face and I squeeze his hand.

"Rain, you and I are gonna go do some research. Soothing, you keep an eye on Alex here, don't leave him alone for a minute. If that fucker comes back, I want his head." says Wyrmripper.

Soothing nods and Rain follows Wyrmripper out of the room. I'm sat on my bed holding Soothing's hand and my head feels fuzzy still, but it's like I can focus now. Whether that's due to Soothing's or due to my feelings for him, I couldn't begin to guess, all I knew now is that I was human, mortal.

"Don't worry, we'll fix this Alex." Soothing says.

I look at him, he's been crying. He must have been terrified to find me like that. But his words ring hollow to me. In order for me to become a shifter, another had to be sacrificed. That was if we could find a mage willing to help and from what it looked like there weren't mages willing to help garou that much. The only one I knew dealt with time and space, neither of which would be able to fix this right now.

But Soothing was trying to be strong for me, I would be the same for him. I lean towards and softly kiss his lips. Gently breaking the soft kiss I look into his eyes and then lean close to him, my head on his shoulder as he pulls me firmly into an embrace.

"How did you survive? A garou shouldn't be able to survive having their beast ripped from them like that." he says.

"You know the answer Soothing. I wasn't originally a garou. My soul was merged with one. The mage just ripped out the merged soul." I answer.

"So... You have a hole in your soul now?" he asks.

I breath in his scent, only barely getting a smell of him now, there's no hint of wolf, just skin.

"I think so. I don't feel right. It's like I'm wearing my body as a suit. Everything is duller and darker."

"Oh Alex. I'm so sorry." He squeezes me.

"Don't be, it wasn't your fault." I say, my arms around his waist and cuddling into his body.

The comforting sensation slowly vanishing. I understood that right now most of what would be happening would be quick fixes, but now I would simply be a problem to the pack. Two of its members cared for me deeply, one of whom I called brother, the other I simply wished to call lover.

I had little use to the pack right now, my only knowledge was on vampires and they don't exist in this world. My skills with a blade and shield may have been formidable, but I had no protection against anything now. I had no greater ability to defend myself. I could feel a crushing sensation running through me as I realised that simply by being around this man right now would cause him more problems.

One step at a time, I need to re-assure Soothing before I make any decisions.

"Hey. What happened to those coffees?" I say, managing to get a hint of teasing into my voice.

He pulls me gently away from his chest and grins a little down at me.

"Put some clothes on and we'll go have some."

I nod and slide out of the bed, there's a pile of chains on the floor along with some shredded blanket. Ah. I reach for my jeans and slip them on, followed by my shoes and shirt. I smile at Soothing, knowing that it's not quite reaching my eyes, but I'm doing my best. He gives me a happier smile back and I follow him to the break out room.

Once we reach it, we find Lawrence talking to a very tall blonde lady who seems to have a pretty bubbly personality. I say that because she doesn't seem to sit still for very long and keeps bouncing around on her toes. It wouldn't normally be that distracting, but her chest has far too ample a cleavage to not notice that she's bouncing up and down.

"Yo Alex. How's it going? Hope you two had a lovely sleep together." he grins, but it falls from his face when Soothing snarls and runs across the room.

"SOOTHING DON'T!" I yell.

I know Lawrence can be a pain sometimes, but he certainly wasn't meaning any harm by his jibe and I bet he doesn't know what's happened. Thankfully Soothing slows and stops, growling not far away from Lawrence, who's got his hands up in an attempt to show he didn't mean any harm.

"Whoa! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be disrespectful." Lawrence blurts out, before his face contorts and he starts sniffing the air.

"The... Wha...? Alex... Why don't you smell right?" He scowls at me now.

I look to the side, it won't be long before everyone knows, so I might as well start here.

"The mage that attacked and merged me with a Black Spiral. He came back and took the beast out of me."

Lawrence's jaw drops and there's a gasp from the blonde.

"By coyote... Alex... I'm so sorry." Lawrence then looks at Soothing. "And I'm just as sorry to you Soothing. I meant no harm."

Soothing huffs and walks over to the area where there's the tea and coffee making facilities, starting to make up some coffee. I watch him for a moment before taking a seat. The blonde perches on the back of the sofa near me.

"Hey Alex, I'm Nyemi, ragabash here. I'm so sorry that happened to you, but I gotta ask, how come you're still among the land of the living if you've had your beast ripped out?" she says.

"I think it's because I was mortal first, then everything else. But I feel wrong. Like there's a lot of me actually missing." I sigh.

"Yeeesh, that's gotta suck." she says.

One way of putting it. I look up at Lawrence, he's got an odd look on his face and he keeps looking at me.

"It is me Lawrence, I'm not some copy or such. If you don't feel convinced, you can always ask me a more personal question." I say.

"I believe it's you Alex, only you could be this stubborn not to die with half your soul ripped off." he smirks.

I smirk back, he has a fair point there. But as I watch, his hand slides inside his jacket and he pulls out a cylindrical object, it appears to be about five inches long and an inch thick. He's frowning again, this time at the tube, then at me.

"Okay... Maybe this is fate." he sighs.

"Huh?" I look at him as he walks over and hands me the cylindrical object. It appears to have a cap on one side.

"Open it." he says.

I do so, popping open the cap of the silvery tube and tilt it up, a scroll slides out of the tube and into my hand. I gently open the scroll, but something feels wrong, it doesn't feel like paper. There's symbols on here that I don't recognise, but what I can see is depictions of a person and five wolf heads with the person in the centre. My heart rate speeds up, this couldn't be it!

"Lawrence, please tell me this isn't what I think it is." I say shakily.

"If you mean tell you that's not the ritual I spoke of, then I can't tell you that." he says firmly.

I look up at him, then to Soothing. He's gone very still near the counter. He's probably thinking the same thing as me. This thing was dangerous, but it was a way to return me to being a garou.

Yet at what price?

I'd be a monster. This required me to skin five garou alive. Granted I could do it to black spirals and it would further the cause, but then what? I'd be full of five black spiral corruption, I'd be worse than the monsters I'd be killing. Even if I did manage to keep control, I'd be forced to return to Erebus and at that point, I don't know if I'd be able to survive a second trip.

"Just to let you know, I already tried to destroy the damn thing. It's immune to fire, you can't tear it and acid or corrosive shit doesn't' work, I also just tried drawing on the damn thing. But you might be able to be the one to use it for a good purpose." says Lawrence.

I almost smile at Lawrence's faith in me, but I know the honest truth. Nothing good can come of a ritual like this.

My thumb rubs against the thing in my hands and I frown. This isn't paper or parchment or any kind. It's skin. Almost perfectly preserved. Which means that the writing on it is exactly like tattooing. This thing had to be old, judging by the tube and the symbols, so there's a chance they were using certain raw materials back then.

I stand up and walk across the room, open the microwave and throw the thing into it. Hitting the buttons for high I hit it on for ten minutes.

"Alex! What are you doing?!" says Lawrence.

"The right thing Lawrence. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture, but this thing is nothing but a corruption. Even if you had willing victims or if you used wyrm infested ones, you're still committing an act that goes against the very principle of being a good guy." I say.

Lawrence looks at me for a few seconds. "Okay, you're right, but I told you, the damn thing can't be destroyed that easily, it's." his words are cut off by a flash and sizzling sound as the microwave makes fwssshhh sound and switches off.

I gently pull the door open and step back from a cloud of smoke that promptly sets the smoke alarm off in the room. I think I fried the microwave, whoops. Grabbing a tea towel, I grip the edge of the scroll and pull it out. It looks fine until I hold it up and it unrolls. The writing on it is just a blurred mess. It looks like all the ink exploded outwards and all that's left is a child's finger painting. Lawrence whistles gently.

"Wow, okay. Didn't expect that, how'd you do that?" he says.

"They used to use a combination of minerals to make the dyes for tattoo's. One of the more common minerals that got mixed in was phosphorous. Combined with the fact this thing is made out of flesh, the microwave just agitated the ink and it tried to lift from the skin, the spell prevented it, so it just spread across it." I reply.

The next thing I know, Soothing has me in an almost crushing hug and I drop the splodgework remains of the scroll. I automatically hug him back and blink puzzled.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why Soothing?" I ask him.

"Because I didn't think you had it in you to resist the temptation. I'm so sorry I doubted you." he says.

I frown, I have to confess, I didn't like the idea that he didn't trust in my judgement, but he was apologising for it and he could have kept it to himself. He was trying to be open and honest with me, that deserved rewarding, not punishing. I raise his head to mine and my lips brush his again in a soft kiss.

"it's fine." I smile at him. He smiles back, but his gaze slides towards the room and the smile slips a little.

I turn and am slightly surprised by seeing it's not Lawrence who's got his attention but Nyemi is kneeling on the sofa, staring right at us both with a huge smile on her face.

"Awwww, it's soooooo cute!" she squeals.

I blush immediately and let go of Soothing who also steps back and rubs the back his neck, coughing gently to cover up his embarrassment. She immediately pouts and puts her arms under her breasts, the pair of them lifting up and totally covering her forearms. How does she manage with those things?

"Well then. Good luck Alex. I have to take care of something. Catch you later. Soothing." he nods at the pair of us and heads out, but sticks his head back in again.

"Yo, Nyemi, I need another distraction, you mind coming and getting your tits out again?" he says.

"Woo! Right there!" she bounds from the room.

The fuck have those two been upto?