Taking it Easy
#28 of Confessions of a Gay Porn Star
*
Hehhey, folks,
here's some more Jimmy for your Saturdays :P Hoping to hear from you!
*
It snapped upon me quite suddenly on an afternoon that had included a nice bout of walking the seaside leisure pier and a roll in the sack, which left Kurt and I comfortably numb and relaxed, sprawled on my bed, this time, as it was, enjoying our weekend to the fullest.
And then it did happen.
"This is a really nice place," Kurt noted, lying there, the image of lazy manliness, fluffy furs, spots, and smelling gorgeous in his post-sexual state.
I was feeling pretty good myself, since I'd gotten laid, and with such a nice dude, to begin with, lol, and I must've appeared particularly relaxed, too.
"Yeah," I smiled a bit, "it's pretty cozy, I think."
"And spacious, too," he added, gesturing a little with his tail to indicate that the bedroom, too, sized up, "is it all paid for, or are you renting?"
Well, that got a bit of a chuckle out of me - starting to talk about the ownership status of my apartment while cuddling in bed after sex...I suppose he could pull it off. He sometimes said the most puzzling things, and it wasn't just because I was a dumb jock and he'd gone through college and all that to get a degree in his computer stuff and all that. He was just really smart, it was.
"Yeah, it's mine," I said, "all mine."
Indeed...the only standing monument to my previous career was this apartment, which I had paid for...as a kind of an investment, I suppose you could say, since there were just that many nice clothes you could buy...lol. Or whatever. I'm not even sure who told me to buy an apartment, but I was kinda glad I had listened, since this was all there really was left of everything I earned over all those years. A nice apartment, yes, with some hefty monthly bills for upkeep and water and electricity and stuff, but it was worth it. It didn't cost more than renting something around here. I could make do with what I earned at the café, just about.
Oh God, even thinking about that sort of stuff made me feel so old...almost like my dad, lol.
"Lucky you!" he flapped my legs with his tail. "Did you save up or get a big loan or did you have a rich great-aunt with lotsa love and a generous will?"
I chuckled at his statement, but felt a kind of a nervous edge creep in, too.
"I had some money saved up for a deposit, yeah, and then I borrowed the rest and paid it off, yeah, "I said, "It was around the big slump of 2020, they were practically giving stacks of cash to everyone who stepped into a bank, lol."
"Didn't they still use swipe cards back then?" the snow leopard wondered.
"I think so," I nodded, "but after the Vietnamese Flu, the government ordered everyone to change to wirelessly read cards for hygiene reasons."
"Ohh...right...heh," he rubbed his muzzle, "funny how it's sometimes difficult to remember stuff like that, even if you lived through it..."
"Google dementia," I said, "they were already talking about it when we were kids, weren't they?"
He winked.
"I don't remember," he giggled.
I elbowed him and that led us to wrestle in bed for a while, with me pinning the fluffy guy down until we were kissing and quite enjoying ourselves, purring and generally sounding like two cats who found the platter of cream, lolz. We didn't got further than that for now, though, but instead flopped onto the bed, grinning silly. His paw rested over the base of my tail.
"Still pretty good with...uh...sorry if I'm saying something stupid here, but pretty good for a minimum wage job," he said, his ears suddenly dropping a little, "uh...sorry."
Oh damn...so that's what he was thinking...wondering how a lowly Starbucks worker could afford an apartment that probably graded at least "pretty nice" on the scale between "please demolish this right now" and ending to "like a rapper's crib", I thought. This apartment did cost about 300,000 dollars, even during the market slump, so...yeah...of course he was curious.
I tensed a little and hoped that he didn't notice it...at least not too much...he still seemed quite relaxed, which was encouraging...but that state of contentment might not last too long, if I...if...
"I didn't always work at Starbucks," I said, then, quietly, looking at him thoughtfully, "I took it up after I...I kinda got laid off."
Well that was true in a way, I thought. The work just stopped coming.
Kurt nodded, ears flick as he did so.
"Ohhhh...ohh...I should've thought about that..." he rumbled, his paw rubbing my back again, "sorry."
"It's fine," I said, "been a few years now. I'm cool."
But could he ever be cool with...
"Well I'm glad to hear that," he rumbled, "glad you're happy."
Yeah...a bit happier as of late, because this felt so...right...in ways that were difficult to speak about...but I knew it was a good feeling, and I wanted it to last and not be ruined by my past.
"Thanks," I said, rubbing his side with my own paw, just because I wanted to touch him again, all sudden.
It lasted for a great minute or so, before...
"So what did you do?"
Such a soft voice...such damned cat curiosity, lol.
I rolled onto my back and then propped my head onto a paw, so that I could look at him across the foot or so between us on the bed, where we both laid, naked quite happily and...and...and I was gonna say something that might make him want to jump out of the bed, if he took it the wrong way.
I hoped not...I so hoped...
"Well..." I cleared my throat, "I kinda worked in the entertainment industry."
He gave me a very curious look. I'm sure that he knew by now that I wasn't a singer, dancer, nor an actor by any means, lol, my videos were proof of that, but...yeah.
I couldn't keep my ears all perky before I whispered the next thing.
"The adult entertainment industry, Kurt."
I held my breath. I just watched him, looking back to me, those cute ears flicking a little, his mottled muzzle still round and pleasant and...and he was frowning a little.
"As in...?" he stated in a tight voice.
My tail flicked against the side of the bed, nervous now, as I was, my heart thumping.
"Gay porn," I said, "video clips and...and stuff."
I'd never embarrass myself by calling them movies, lol, like some furs insisted, or even films. They were just what they were, and that was it.
Kurt wasn't saying anything.
"But I quit for good about two, three years ago," I said, as if that made it sound any better. It was like saying you'd quit doing some drugs, lol.
At least Kurt wasn't already jumping out of the bed and gathering his clothes to flee.
"How did you end up doing that?" was what he said, finally, still speaking really softly and not really letting me know what his initial reaction was.
"I was young and stupid and lazy and thought that I'd make a quick buck and then go to college," I decided to answer as honestly as I could, and there was nothing else I could say about that, "and I kinda got off on the idea, too."
I breathed out deeply.
Still did, kinda...guess there was no denying the exhibitionist in me, that thrill I got from the knowledge that someone was looking...and in my case, so many had looked...whatever there was to it, sometimes I could still capture that feeling when thinking about it, too. Maybe not a very proud thing to consider, but I didn't want to deny it. Didn't feel I was gonna do any good by doing that now, with Kurt.
"So you never went to college, then?"
Lol...so the only thing he worried now was that I was poorly educated?
"Well, I just got into it and never really realized it could just come to an end...only did when it did end," I continued on my trail of confessions.
"You could still go," he said, "there are great programs you can do while working at the same time."
My eyes couldn't have gone wider. Were we seriously having this conversation? Was this some kind of a strange...reaction to what I'd just told him, that I screwed guys for money? Some kind of...what did they call it...denial? I was an expert, after all, lol.
"Uhhh..." I let out a curious gargling sound, "I...I guess..."
"Nothing's stopping you," he said, "you'll just need your high school diploma and you're set."
Now I was getting seriously creeped out...or at least more worried. His ears seemed alright...his eyes seemed alright...but...but...what the hell, seriously?
"Kurt..." I said, and wanted to touch him, but I didn't dare to touch him, even if we were indeed naked in bed.
"You sound really embarrassed, Jimmy," he replied, looking at me with a sideways glance.
Well, I did just out myself as a manwhore to him...shouldn't that mean something to him?
"Of course I am," I said, "I'm worried about you!"
He flicked an ear.
"What about me?"
I huffed.
"You know what," I said.
He shook his head a little.
"I'm not sure I know what you mean," he said.
"I frowned some more.
"Well, you know...whatever you think about it...I...I need to hear it," I said," because I know it's not easy to come into terms with..."
His brow quirked.
"Are you talking about me or yourself?" he replied.
That stopped me completely. What did he mean with that? I just told him what I'd done and why I did it...now he was...acting all weird.
"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling hopelessly lost now.
"Do you want me to tell that I think it's okay, or do you just want me to tell it was okay that you did it?" he said.
I felt a strange pressure in my chest...the kind I couldn't really name, and I felt uncomfortable and not really...I wasn't sure.
"I just want to know what you think about it," I said, waving my paw between us, "I don't want things to be weird!"
His tail flapped against my ankles, and it made my own tail jump, too. He didn't make another move, though.
"Fine," he said, "it does make me feel a bit uncomfortable thinking about it now, but I don't think it makes you a bad person, if that's what you think."
I puffed out my cheeks and then let out a big breath.
"I don't know what you think," I said, "I just don't want it to be a...a...burden?"
"Is it a burden for you?" he said.
My ears flattened.
"Why are you turning my questions backwards?" I moaned.
"Why are you upset with me?"
"Because I don't want to lose you over this!" I raised my voice.
*