MTG BB 1
Story by JurassicNuts on SoFurry
Imported from SF2 with no description.
Two bots were about to bring a conman and murderer to Justice. Inside of the Hoden Woods, a pair of robots were conversing as they were traversing a path so boring it was causing their enraged cursing. Needless to say, the droids were pissy but the bounty on this man was completely worth it. The taller bot, A Testineer known as Ellis--a golem with testicles large enough that they constantly dragged on the ground and kept his metal thighs completely spread and were kept together by a stretchy, thin latex scrotum--was reading the cryptic map leading to where their guy was hiding out. His companion, a smaller Construct the size of a human palm with soccerball sized breasts that looked extremely large on her tiny frame, was floating about, pouting as they knocked branches out of their path.
"Lord Ellis-"
"Don't call me 'Lord Ellis'. It's just Ellis."
"Sir Ell-"
"Ellis."
"Boss, look!"
Vivi, the busty bot, pointed at a clearing on the forestry. It was a run-down cathedral, in shambles but still giving off an intimidating aura. They were here. The large, wooden doors opened so suddenly, The duo almost lost all balance and fell. They shrugged, activating their night vision and opening the ajar pair to full width, an eerie creak echoing out that shook them to their core batteries, leaving them shivering with regret about taking the mission. Still, they trudged onward, admiring the obvious traps you wouldnt be able to see in a dark lightless room. The cathedral was one room: a straight shot of overturned pews, broken shards of the remnants of Orzhova stained glass, and the rope and bear traps they effortlessly avoided. Within moments, they were at the preacher's podium, where a robed leonin who was ignorant in the fact that they were artifact creatures that could plainly see him was standing.
"Colion Zargo? You are under arrest for Fraudulent Actions and Murder! What says you in defense?!"
"Nothing. Step forward. I cannot do anything, in the dark..." The leonin chuckled, as both him and the hunters knowing fully well the podium was surrounded by interlocked rope traps.
"You know, were are droids. We can see you and your ring of ropes, Dumbass!"
This set him off-guard. He visibly gasped, switching on a night-vision monocle to call their bluff. His face contorted in fear, and he threw something...it was a yellow blur that struck Ellis right in the head. The force stumbled him back, and his giant balls bounced into the center of a rope trap. With a snap, those ropes tightened like a vice, pulling upwards and dragging him by those heavy droidmakers until he was hanging by his testicles. Vivi gasped, speeding towards the control box as Colion grinned.
"HA! I heard that, now to catch that pathetic titbot9000 and use her as a personal fucktoy in front of you while your blood rushes to your head! Oh? And while your balls diiiAGH!"
His monologue was cut short (thank god) by Vivi switching on the lights, by blinding the Leonin. He growled, his golden paw flashing as a few golf balls became solid balls of gold twice their size. Wait...gold paw?! Ellis had no time to think, as the Leonin threw those balls into his exposed orbs with the force of a sledge hammer. The pain exploded in his groin, the world spinning as he spasmed uncontrollably. The kitty grinned, leaping up to turn those balls to gold when...sp-splut. Pain exploded as Vivi headbutt his balls ar 9,875 MPH, effectively liquifying them in one hit. He fell forward, unconscious before he could even scream.
"
Whew, ya ok there, Boss?"
"Balls....b-b...balls"
"Oh, lemme get ya down!" To be continued.