The New Secretary
A short, humorous look at language problems
The New Secretary
by Afril - Edited by Chaos Blackwing
(cl) The Gay Furry Association
M/M - Implied, Humor
I waited for my new secretary to arrive. Even though the 'agency' had promised me someone for quite some time, I wasn't all that impressed with what I had seen so far.
A knock came on the door.
"Enter"
The first thing I noticed was his mane. Either he had trimmed it or it grew short naturally. Golden eyes offset the rings in his ears. He smiled, predator displaying to predator, and his handshake was firm enough for me to know he didn't care that I was a human. I offered him a seat - More a couch, as he was of the 'taurian' persuasion. I say 'he' because sitting on 'his' chest was a pair of breasts. Not the cartoonishly huge ones, just a nice handful of firm mounds, capped with pink nipples. I did my best not to stare at them, but failed miserably.
I got him a cup of tea and waited until he was settled.
"Ummmm - First Question. If you were sitting in my lap, taking dictation and I got a hard-on, would it bother you?"
His long, pink tongue slid up and over his nose-pad. Not quickly, as in surprise. More like showing off...
"Not at all," he purred.
Okay... "If you were standing behind me, pointing to the screen, would you smoosh your tits against the back of my head?"
The feline snorted, staring at his cup of tea. "If you wanted me too..."
I stared at mine, hoping I had gotten the right kind of leaves. Since the only thing he wore besides his fur was the earrings and some claw-polish, I asked him, "Would you be willing to wear a saddle?"
The gold eyes stared a hole through my desk and I wondered if I had a stain on my pants or something.
"Bit or no bit..."
Now, why would he want to bite... I growled and turned the Translator off. Then I wrote out the three questions on a sheet of paper, and turned it around, so he could see it -
Can you take dictation?
Can you find your way around a vid-screen?
Are you ok with wearing a pouch to keep pens, paper, etc in?
His laugh was a rumbled growl.... "That is Not what you asked me."
When he repeated what my translator had said, I understood why most of the applicants didn't make it past the question of 'Would you be willing to work long hours?'. Which came out as 'Do you like them long and hard?'
I looked at the clock while I suppressed a desire to smash the translation machine - It cost a year's salary, and I was responsible for it.
"It looks like I have more work to do than I thought... Can you start in the morning?"
He rose, padded to my desk and shook my hand. "I look forward to working with you, Mr. Jogon." Then he turned and as he got to the door, he stopped and flicked his tail up, showing he was indeed male, looking at me over his tawny shoulder...
"That is, if the offer to sit in your lap still stands."
The End