The Rest of Our Lives, pt 1
"Soren, are you OK?" "Yeah, I'm fine," said Soren, not taking his eyes off of the road. Eli placed a hand gently on Soren's left arm, making sure that he could still move the gear shift if he needed to. "Sweetheart, you are not fine. Your fur is bristled and you're gripping the wheel so hard that you're almost bending it. What's up?""It's nothing, really," said Soren, shaking his head. "Soren... is it about, well, August?" Soren gave a tiny smile as he felt the warm metal on Eli's finger rub against his arm. He gave the smallest of laughs. "Heh heh... no. I'm not worried about that at all, actually. It's just the trailer."
Eli nodded as he looked out the window. The Rocky Mountains were gliding by on silent wheels, peaks and valleys dyed brilliant shades of chromatic orange. The road itself was tiger striped as the surrounding peaks cast stark shadows across the four lanes, contrasting brilliantly with setting sun. "Dammit, I forgot you don't like heights. Find a place to pull over and let me drive for a while." "No, it's fine," said Soren as he drummed a finger against the wheel. "You drove almost all day yesterday. The guard rail is on the other side of the road anyway. My brain is just running away with me." "About what's in the trailer? That's what's bothering you?""That's it," said Soren. It was true. He had no reservations about the wedding. His wedding. Their wedding. No, this felt right! This felt good! All of his anxieties were zeroed in on the orange U-haul that their car was pulling. They didn't have that much stuff between them, really. They didn't even need a full sized moving truck to fit all their stuff. But Soren rented the trailer anyway. He packed their car with his instruments, leaving the trailer for Eli's best paintings and his grandmother's furniture. Soren just couldn't trust the movers with those treasures. It was something he'd have to do himself. There was no denying he was being paranoid, but Soren just couldn't get those nasty, irrational fears out of his head.But had taking the U-haul been less stressful? Now instead of worrying about movers mishandling valuables Soren was compulsively running all of the statistics he knew about the dangers of road travel. But they were alone on the road now! There was nothing to crash into but the guard rail... dear god don't think about the guard rail.Eli's light, musical voice jolted Soren out of his own mind. "There's a rest area in a few miles. I wanna stretch my legs." Soren nodded silently, zeroing in on the road. "Yeah... That's fine." They drove the final minutes in silence. They pulled into the "scenic vista" that provided a magnificent view of the mountains. The mountain air was a refreshing kind of chilly that felt pleasing to walk through but didn't cut through their warm fur or the fire in their bodies. Eli got out of the car and walked a few laps around the parking lot. Soren got out too, but all he did was check on the furniture in the trailer. Soren jumped as Eli hugged him from behind. "Soren, I'm driving."Soren growled and shook his head. "You don't need to do that, sweetie."Eli kissed Soren's cheek. "I very much DO need to do that. Look at you. Your eyes are wide, you're all clammy, and you're shaking all over. You don't need to drive just because I drove yesterday. Relax please." Soren sighed in resignation. "I... OK. You can drive. I can make up for it when we're out of the damn mountains." "They aren't all bad, the mountains," said Eli. "Have you seen the view here?""I'm not too interested," said Soren, firmly looking at the cliff walls.
Eli ran his hands across Soren's hair."C'mon, sweetheart. I'll show you." Soren began to protest, but Eli grabbed Soren's hand. "I doubt we'll ever get to see this place again. We should take it in while we''re here. I won't let you fall, I promise." Soren smiled and sighed, resignation in his voice. "I... OK. Show me then." Eli led them to the guard rail. The peaks and valleys were dyed a burning orange, and an evening mist hung around the air. It made for a fiery ethereality that invoked both serenity and boundless energy. After a minute, Eli vaulted over the guard rail. Soren hastily grasped Eli's arm. "Eli, what are you doing?" Eli laughed. "Seriously Soren, there's eight feet of rock before the cliff. Come sit down. The view's much better from here." Soren stood stock straight, taking a step back. "I like the view just fine on this side of the guard rail. I cannot see rationally how sitting on the guard rail changes the view." Eli got up and turned around, offering his hand to Soren. "It's not a rational thing, it's a feeling thing. Come sit down, sweetheart." Shakily, Soren took Eli's hand and lifted one leg, then the other, over the guard rail. He gingerly sat down next to Eli. Eli put both of his arms around Soren's waist. "You're not going to fall. I've got you." There was a brief pause as Soren put an arm around Eli's shoulder. "You're right. The view is different.""I told you," said Eli with a smile, resting his head on Soren's shoulder. "It doesn't always have to make sense."Soren kissed Eli as they sat. "Did I tell you I love you today, sweetie?""No," said Eli. "You told me four times. When we woke up, at breakfast, and twice in the car. Some days I wonder if you're afraid I'll forget."Soren held Eli close to him "Well, make it five. I love you Eli. Do you wanna take a picture before we go?" "I love you too, Soren," said Eli, growling as he buried his face deep into Soren's arms. "And I'd love to. I think I even have the camera in my pocket somewhere." There was a brief pause as Eli rummaged in his cargo shorts. "Turn around. Let's get the vista behind us." Rotating their position on the guard rail, Eli held the camera out and aimed backwards at them. Soren smiled widely, but Eli opted to pose with a kiss of Soren's cheek. He got the shot on his first try, both of them in the center of the frame with a good view of the fiery peaks behind them.Eli examined the picture on the camera screen. "I wish I had time to paint. Do you mind if I take a few scenic shots for later?" Soren got off the guard rail and fished for the keys in his pocket. "Do you want to sketch the scene too? I know you'd want to study the light play in person." "You know me too well," Said Eli, walking to the Prius to fish his medium sketch book out of this travel bag. "Only if we have time."
Soren fished two teas out of the cooler, offering one to Eli. "We have plenty of time. Do you mind if I watch?" "Thanks, sweetie. And watch away." Eli sat down again on the guard rail, pencil and book in hand. It took less than thirty minutes for him to finish, smearing the markings with his fingers to imitate the mist. Soren peeked over Eli's shoulder. "Try inking that when we get home. That might work well on its own." Eli kissed Soren's cheek again. "Thanks, Soren. Are you almost ready to go?" "I think so."Eli held out his hand. "Keys, then." Soren passed the keys with a smile. "Thanks. Sorry to make you drive so much." Eli hugged Soren before getting into the driver seat. "It's no big deal sweetheart. I love you."Soren sat down next to Eli, kissing him across the arm rest. "I love you too. Let's go."
Soren kept glancing about the kitchen, watching the goings on as the caterers prepared for dinner. He was working in the kitchen, wearing nothing but gym shorts and a white tank. Eli was with him too, identically dressed. Cake decoration was one of the few things Eli could do in the kitchen without obliterating the final product. In fact he was much better than Soren. "Soren, focus on the cake please." "I was," said Soren, slightly defensively. "No, you weren't," said Eli, sternly but not angrily. "You were looking at the soup and thinking of about five different ways you or Jeanne could have done it better. You are not cooking for all of our guests." Soren laughed. "You're right. You're always right." Soren did his best to focus back in on the cake. It had four glorious layers, a black-brown mountain of chocolatey glory. They had forgone the traditional white cake. Soren always claimed it was a sin that wedding cakes looked pretty but tasted terrible, so he made the thing himself. It had been an all day endeavor to make this masterpiece. Dark chocolate cake and icing, garnished with an abstract spiral pattern of blue, red, and green. Eli was doing most of the details, and it was turning out absolutely gorgeous. Soren stepped back to admire his half of the cake. It wasn't as neat as Eli's side, but it was very, very close. Maybe it was because his hand was shaking in anticipation the whole time. The differences were too small to noticed by anyone not intimately familiar with the cake's creation, and it would be cut soon enough anyway. Soren gave the smallest of jumps as there was a knock on the kitchen door. "Hey," said a familiar voice behind him. Slender, white and black striped arms wrapped around Soren. He felt himself relax in the embrace of his childhood friend. Sasha looked around the kitchen. "I'm surprised you aren't doing all the cooking yourself." "God knows he tried," chuckled Eli, crouching to get a close up of the lowest layer of the cake. "Good to see you." "I came for an in person congratulations," said Sasha. "Am I in the way?" "No," said Soren. "We're almost done here anyway." Sasha looked up at the towering cake. She inhaled deeply through her nose. "Wow... that looks gorgeous. And delicious for that matter. The smell is almost intoxicating. Did you get a top for it?" "No," said Eli. "We didn't really find one that fit our cake's desired aesthetic. There was someone who would have made a custom one, but he had too many requests to meet ours in time. We didn't find out about him until too late." Sasha chuckled. "I knew Soren would go for a chocolate wedding cake. I wanted to give you your wedding gift early." She pulled out a small black box. "Have a proper top to your cake."Soren picked up the figurine with care. "Oh, wow... Sasha, how did you make this?" The figurine wasn't a single figure but two. It depicted the two of them, Soren and Eli, in each other's arms, their tails wrapped around each other. Soren shook the figurine by a fraction. There was a tiny tick as ceramic pieces clacked together. "It's... in two pieces? How'd you get them to fit together?" "Some really tricky kiln work," said Sasha, smiling in pride. "Go on, put it on top." Sasha smiled wider as Soren passed it to Eli, who caressed it with his thumb. Taking it gingerly, he placed it neatly at the apex of the cake. "Wow Sasha, you've really improved your work. How many tries did it take to keep the figurine's separate? And how did your last meeting with Alexi go?" "Seven times," said Sasha with a wince. "And Alexi got my first auction set up! But I'm not here to talk about me. This is your wedding, not my soapbox to push my sculpting. I'm glad you liked the top. It's the best thing I could think of, to be honest."Eli hopped off the chair he was perched on to hug Sasha, Soren shortly joining in. "It's perfect. And you've gotten so much better since we last saw you." "It hasn't been that long," said Sasha her voice awkwardly muffled beneath the arms of the two foxes. "It's been only four months."
"So what," said Eli. "You've gotten better, and you gave us a really beautiful piece. Take a complement, hun." "Hark who's talking," scoffed Sasha. "But you're welcome. I guess I should be getting ready soon. You two should too. I still can't believe you made me your best.... girl, I guess." Sasha smirked, but there was mirth behind it. "Aren't guys supposed to pick another male for that position?" "What, are you complaining," asked Soren, mimicking her wry smile. "No," said Sasha. "I'm honored, to be honest. It's just a bit nontraditional. That's all." Eli kissed Soren on the cheek. "I think this whole affair is thoroughly nontraditional." Soren chuckled. "That it is. Besides, who cares about tradition? You've been my best friend since I was seven. And you're thoroughly responsible for why this whole thing has happened. You introduced us, remember?" "I remember," said Sasha, punching Soren on the arm. "I also remember thinking that you'd never pick up on Eli. When he told me that you were dating I thought he was pulling my tail." "Better late than never," said Eli, kissing Soren again. "I wanna finish a few details on the cake. Go get dressed sweetheart."Soren and Sasha left the kitchen together, the hummed melody of Electric Daisy Violin audible through the kitchen's clamor. "By the way," said Sasha, walking casually through the hotel hallways. "Who picked out the dresses for me and Minerva?" "I did," said Soren, slightly awkwardly. "Is it that bad?" "No," said Sasha. "I thought it was you. Eli would have gone for something more color intense than chic black. It's nice. It's elegant and simple. Eli would have probably gotten something with neon yellow or something." Sasha rolled her eyes in faux disgust. "Eli wanted to be in a wedding dress," said Soren, matter-of-factly. "He looked good in it, too."Sasha grinned, "Oh I bet he could rock a bridal gown. He dressed in drag for Halloween freshman year. I introduced you guys about two weeks later." There was a pause as they walked in silence for a bit. Sasha smiled again. "Look at you. I don't think I've ever seen you this happy." "It's a nice change," said Soren. Abruptly, he hugged Sasha again. "Thanks for being here. I know it was a pain to fly out here." Sasha looked bemused. "Pain? It's a privilege. And it's my best friend's wedding! What kind of person would I be if I skipped out on that because travel plans can be difficult? Go get dressed, lover boy." She gave Soren a push before slipping into her hotel room. Chuckling to himself, Soren found his and Eli's changing room. They had checked out every room in that vintage hotel for their guests, but their new apartment was so close to here that it was stupid for them to take a room themselves. They were nice rooms though, and not your cut and paste hotel rooms either. Each room had its own unique theme, furniture, and color scheme. They all held a slice of San Francisco history. It really hadn't been a huge expense either. Changing out of his athletic shorts, Soren slipped into his gun-metal gray tuxedo pants, notching the belt around his waist. He smiled as he clipped his belt two notches tighter than a few months ago. He hadn't looked this good since high school. Who would have thought swing dance was such a good work out? A brisk knock on the door jolted Soren out of his musings. Grabbing a clean undershirt, he pulled it over his head as he answered the door. His smile wiped away in an instant as he saw who was standing in front of him. Short and squat was his father, Simon, an old Typhlosion whose black body was fading to grey. His mother, Noel, hung demurely from Simon's arm. She was built like her eldest son: tall, gangly, but with beige fur that had faded to chalk white in age. And then there was Chris, taller even than Soren, powerful, standing back but with quills out and flaming. Soren desperately tried to keep it casual. "So I guess you guys did get that invitation, eh? We thought you weren't coming. Why didn't you RSVP?""We got the invitation," said Simon, sternly. "We need to talk."Soren sighed. "Let's go somewhere private. Let's not embarrass ourselves." Simon glowered, but followed Soren into a secluded stairwell. There was a pause that was thicker than water before Soren broke the silence. "You guys are here really early. How can I help you?" Noel spoke softly, her voice faltering a bit. "Soren... We're really worried about you." "Worried about me," said Soren incredulously. "You're-" "Do not interrupt," ordered Simon. There was another heavy pause, punctuated by a noise Soren couldn't identify. "Soren we're worried about you. When you left the house, well, words were said, and well, none of us were going to budge then. So we decided to take our hands off and let you come back when you were ready." Soren opened his mouth again to begin saying "What if I didn't want to come back?!" but was cut off by his father again. "DO not interrupt, Soren." Noel ignored the interruptions. "You were looking for a job, and that was fine, but..." Simon spoke in clipped tones. "Chris ran into you in town, in the company of another male. And you said you were living with him. And that you kissed him in public. And now this?! You have-"Noel spoke with a forced softness, vainly attempting to ease the tension. "We understand you're insecure about talking to girls, Soren, and I'm sure that... Eli feels the same way too. But you've let your anxieties run away from you for too long. Soren-" Soren couldn't contain himself. "If you gave a damn about my anxieties you wouldn't have told me to 'get over myself' after Jeanne died and I was a nervous wreck. If you-" Simon cut Soren off, speaking louder. "Just because the two of you are unable to talk to females doesn't mean you can enter sexual relations with each other. You-"Soren was fuming. "Stop right there!" "Do NOT interrupt me," shouted Simon, his voice echoing throughout the stairwell. "Just because you two are insecure about dating females does not mean you can enter a sexual relationship with each other. You have let your insecurities run away with you and you need help."
Soren gritted his teeth. "Are you... I don't believe it! YOU came here, TODAY to tell me-" "There's this wonderful place," said Noel, raising her own voice in a vain attempt to control the situation. "in Texas. You can learn to control your... urges." Sparks were beginning to form along Soren's wrists. "So, you are telling me, that you came here, today, to give me an ultimatum. And that ultimatum is to leave Eli at the altar to go to... straight camp? For what? For you? The people who told me I was broken for liking other males? You're asking me to walk away from the love of my life for you?" Noel spoke in placating tones. You can bring Eli too. You'd be allowed to stay friends, just not," Noel whispered the last word, barely able to pronounce the syllables. "boyfriends." "Let me get this straight. You want me to leave Eli at the altar, to go to straight camp, for the people who cast me out for not thinking like them, just because you think gay sex is gross? Hell, you think sex in general is gross. Here I am, a sinning gay atheist, when right in front of me I have proof of a miracle. How could people like you, in your sad, sexless marriage ever have produced two kids without immaculate conception?" Noel put her hand to her mouth, but Simon flared his quills. They hadn't lost their color even in age. "How dare you attack us? We're attempting to save your soul, and you spit in our faces." "What if I don't want my soul saved. I don't believe in your religion. Neither does Eli for that matter. So can you stop thinking about gawd for a moment? What if your parents asked you to walk away from each other after years of being together? On the day of your wedding no less? Think about that for a moment." "It doesn't matter," said Simon. "Our marriage is sacred in the eyes of God. Your union is about to drench you both in sin. We're trying to-"Sparks ran up Soren's arm, growing to a more intense shade of sky blue. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT SIN! I CARE ABOUT ELI! DO YOU-" "DO! NOT! INTERUPT! ME," roared Simon. His voice echoed throughout the stairwell, punctuated again by... something. Soren's eyes swept across his family. Noel looked shocked, Simon fuming, and Chris was covering his mouth with his hands. Dammit he was laughing. Soren's temper flared as Simon continued to shout. "listen to me! How dare you-""NO," roared Soren. Sparks erupted into blue flames. "No, you listen! I don't care about your damn gawd. I don't give a damn about sin or righteousness! Can you stop obsessing about gawd for a damn minute and think? Or are you so insecure in your beliefs that you need your son to believe the same bullshit you do to validate yourselves in your socially accepted bigotry?" There was a long pause, Soren's voice amplified by the echo-y staircase, leaving a ringing in everyone's ears. Simon was livid, his hands clenched, his quills flared. "So you will not change your mind? This is your final decision?" "Yes," said Soren, standing taller than the others, his fists clenched. "I won't leave Eli."Simon gave but the smallest hesitation. "Then... you are no longer part of this family. We ask you to change your surname, or else we will take legal action. Have a good life." Soren was unfazed. "Fine, then. I'd wish you the same, but my parents taught me not to lie. Piss off. Guests should be coming soon."Noel clapped her hands to her mouth again, but Simon just gritted his teeth. "Also, as you are no longer a Saul, the inheritance you received from Jeanne is no longer rightfully yours. You are to return the instruments and furniture you have received from her back to us."
Soren was again unmoved. "Why are you still here? If you want to take legal action, come back to me with a lawyer. Now go away. I have a lot on my hands right now. Go on, leave. I don't want you to embarrass the other guests by being here." Soren flicked his hands at them, motioning towards the exit at the bottom of the stairs. He stared pointedly for a long, tense minute. At the end of that minute Noel and Simon turned to leave. They walked slowly, but didn't look back. There was a clatter as the exit door banged shut behind him. Chris still remained, leaning back against the railing. His face was neutral, his dark eyes staring back into his brother's blue ones. "Well, what are you still doing here," asked Soren, his arms crossed, his tails briskly brushing back and forth against the ground in a jerky, arrhythmic swish."How many people did you invite here," asked Chris, his tone uncolored. Soren kept his voice as calm as possible, despite the previous conflict. "All of Eli's family, Aly, some friends from college and home."
Chris paused. "And how many people are working to set this event up?" "I dunno," said Soren, trying to keep the suspicion out of his voice. "Why are you asking me this?"Chris began to pace, leaving his perch on the railing. "I'm just curious is all. I want to know how many people are supporting this endeavor. I just wanted to know how many people are showing up to participate in this hideous event, to encourage and congratulate you and your sinful mockery of a mat-" There was a series of crashes as the heel of Soren's paw collided with Chris' stomach, sending him head over heels down the stairs. A light, echoy clatter supplemented the heavy crashes as Chris' horn-rimmed glasses bounced down the stairs with him. There was a series of crunches as his quills snapped against the stairs. Soren and Chris had fought, really fought, only three times in their childhoods. Chris had evolved earlier than Soren, and was for a long time physically stronger, but Soren had won all three times. Those quills may be blazing hot, but if they broke, they would cause excruciating pain, even if they grew back in minutes. Chris could pull his tails all day, but the fight was over the moment Soren snapped a quill. Now more quills than Soren could count were scattered across the stairwell, their burning reds fading to gray as they turned to ash. Soren leapt down the stairs three at a time, picking Chris up by his shirt and slamming him into the wall. There was another sickening crunch as more quills snapped. Soren put his face inches from Chris'. He was savagely pleased to see Chris was afraid. He wasn't just afraid, he was mortally terrified. Soren shook Chris, sliding him up the wall, cracking more quills and lifting him off his feet. Chris began to say "Soren, what the Hell are you-" but his voice silenced as Soren slammed him against the wall. "YOU," shouted Soren. "I had hope for you. I had hope that maybe, by some unlikely miracle you wouldn't turn out like them! But you're just as devout, just as arrogant, just as self-righteous. And do you know what's worse? You're fucking proud. You're proud that you're just like them. Now I don't give two shits what you think about me, but don't you ever insult Eli in front of me! Got it?"Chris attempted to reply, but he still had no air to speak as he was pressed into the wall by Soren's arms, returned to their former power by hours of intense dance sessions with Eli. All he could do was gurgle. With a violent jerk, Soren unpinned Chris and threw him to the floor. "Get out." Soren turned to walk up the stairs. He didn't look back as he heard Chris scrabble across the floor for his glasses, gasping as breath slowly returned to his lungs. Soren left the stairwell, not looking back. He drifted back to his changing room in a haze of red fury letting the door slam behind him. Soren sat in front of the mirror in the changing room, staring blindly at his own reflection. Soren was jolted out of his fuming as Eli slipped into the room. "Heya, why aren't you dressed?" Soren looked up, but was unable to meet Eli's eyes. "Eli, I... I uh..."
Eli put an arm on Soren's shoulder. "Soren, tell me what's wrong. Please. And don't deny it. Something is wrong." Soren took a deep breath. "Eli... I can't tell you today. I promise I'll tell you, but not today. Please not today of all days." He got up and held Eli in his arms. "I don't want to spoil our special day."Eli kissed Soren. "Promise me you'll tell me later.""I promise," said Soren. "I promise I'll tell you everything. I love you Eli." "I love you too," said Eli, laying his cheek on Soren's shoulder. "Let's get ready sweetie. We have a big day ahead of us.""I know," said Soren, rubbing Eli's slender shoulders. "I can't wait. C'mon, let's get you in that suit."
The hours flew by in a haze. Soren lost count of how many times he greeted guests, said hello, accepted a congratulations. Friends and family were pouring in from across the country. Well, pouring in implied a lot of people. Eli and Soren hadn't invited too many people. They wanted to keep it modest. All of Eli's family was there already, and most of their friends were here or on their way. Soren felt like everyone was here too early, actually. Soren was becoming more and more nervous. His knees were shaking, his stomach churning despite the fact that he skipped lunch. Or perhaps it was because of that. He retreated to their dressing room. He had an hour before all the things would start. Things... that was a weird word to describe his wedding. Why was he so damn jumpy?Eli entered the dressing room, fidgeting in his black tuxedo. Soren smiled, standing up to embrace Eli. Soren felt some of his anxieties melt away for a moment as he held Eli and was held himself. "Are you nervous?" asked Eli. "You know the answer," laughed Soren, kissing Eli on the cheek. "I am too, if it makes you feel any better," smile Eli. The two sat down in chairs across from each other, holding hands. "It's such a funny thing to be nervous about, isn't it?" "Mmhmm," nodded Soren, rubbing his thumbs across Eli's upturned palms. "I'm excited too... I think it's actually because I'm so excited that I'm so nervous. Your tie's crooked, sweetheart." Soren scooted forward on his chair, reaching for the sky blue bow tie that Eli had around his neck. With a neat tug Soren righted the lopsided tie. He smiled again. Eli looked so perfect, despite the fact he hated formal clothes. "Thanks, sweetie," said Eli, kissing Soren as they sat. "You didn't eat lunch, did you?""How could you tell?" "Cause I can hear your stomach from here," laughed Eli. "Do you want me to find you something?" "I can wait till dinner. I should go check on the setup, actually." Soren moved as though to stand up, but he felt Eli grab his shoulders and pushed him back down "You are waiting right here," said Eli. "We hired people to cater. We hired people to set up the reception. Relax, dear, please.""Will you wait with me?""Of course." Eli sat down on Soren's lap. Smiling, Soren gently wrapped his arms around Eli's waist, resting his muzzle on the crook of Eli's shoulder.
"It's almost time," said Soren, checking Eli's watch from over his shoulders.Eli neatly got off of Soren's lap, turning on his heel and offering a hand to Soren. "You ready?"Soren took the hand, smiling as he stood. "As ready as I'll ever be.""Then let's go."