FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Cover art is by kensukethecat - thank you, ken!

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Hello, darlings!

It's time to put the story on a Christmas break, but worry not - still one more chapter to go, and we'll be back on January for further adventures - give all of us a well-deserved break so that we can concentrate on the good things - and no bah, humbugs from anyone, I hope! Except maybe for the hiatus, which I'm sure will piss some people off...but sorry, can't do! T_T

I look forward to your reactions and comments, as always, they fuel my creativity :P

Have a fun read!

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"Damn piece of shit!"

Hmm...it sounded like things were business as usual at the store as I entered through the front door with my keys, finding the shop to be fully lit and ready to go, even at half an hour before opening time.

"Hellooo?" I called out, seeking the source of the noise, which was soon revealed, as Marge's head appeared above the shelves.

"Shit!"

I felt a brief bout of alarm, but decided to stalk over to see what was going on, crossing the shop floor and then finding Marge standing in front of a pile of books on the floor, next the "EVERYTHING FOR DUMMIES!" section. I saw that one of the shelves had come off its tabs and was partially collapsed, which explained the books covering her almost to the knees...so to speak.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Excellent time for you to show up!" the cougarette declared while adjusting the bust of her red shirt. "Look what happened!"

She pointed out the disaster zone, and I nodded, and snorted.

"Well it's gone," I said as I stepped closer to check the damage, "looks like it has come loose..."

I grabbed the edge of the shelf and gave it a lift, which caused the whole thing to pivot on its remaining tabs on the back. A look on the front told me that one tab was bent and the other one was missing.

"It's broken," I said.

"Right," she growled.

"But we've had these before, haven't we?" I smiled a little. "I think we've got spare parts and tools somewhere in the back."

Marge huffed.

"Well we better get to it before the customers arrive," she said, "and clear up this mess..."

"I'll get them," I promised quickly, "you just get going with the rest of the stuff you have to do, yes?"

"I'll have to talk to young Mr. Albrecht about this," Marge scratched her muzzle, "if things keep going like this, we've got this whole store falling apart."

"But weren't we renovated only a couple of years back?" I asked.

"That's what I'm worried about," she replied, "if it's already going..."

"I don't suppose it's quite that dramatic," I mused.

"You should've seen what this place looked like before we did renovate," she said, "everything was dark lacquered wood, bad lights, dirty grey carpet...I think it was originally green but the dirt turned it grey..."

"You've reminisced a few times," I replied with a smile, "and I do remember it, you know. This shop has been around for ages, I did get some course books from here, I think."

"Then you know what I'm talking about," Marge's eyes fluttered dramatically, "we were an antiquated dump."

"Didn't you use to have one of those mechanical cash registers that looked like it belonged to a saloon?" I grinned.

"We weren't THAT old-fashioned," Marge's tail swiped across the yellow flood of Dummies books and near my legs.

"Oh I know, sweetie," I wooed her with my most charming smile, "just let me get changed?"

"I'd love to help but I'm not allowed to see more than one fuzzybutt per morning," Marge winked, "though I'm sure you scratching yours is as fun as Goggy doing the same...what's with you guys, anyway? When you wake up, one paw goes front, one paw goes back, and there's no end of scratching?"

I chuckled.

"Must be an evolutionary thing," I said, heading out of Marge ribbing range.

With my butt safe for now, I headed diagonally across the shop floor, down the two sets of stairs and then through the storage come social area before entering the musky unisex locker room...

"Yaaaaawn."

"Mason!"

The wolf was standing by his locker and gave me a quick glance when he noticed my appearance, just about when he was giving me a view of his tonsils. Guess someone else was feeling tired today, too.

"Good morning," I greeted him properly.

"Hi," the wolf replied.

He pulled off his hoodie, revealing a slim body covered only by a T-shirt, as he hung his shirt in the locker before pulling out his red work shirt. Guess he was going to adhere to the dress code today, I thought, watching his tail swing by.

Then I remembered again.

"How're you?" I asked.

"Pretty good," the wolf said as he began to button himself up.

Well that was encouraging, at least. Maybe this meant that Haakon was alright, too. Surely he'd be...bad...if...if something was bad with the lynx.

"That's good," I smiled, "uh....though...well, I was thinking...I was wondering...with what happened over in Norway...is...is your friend Haakon alright?"

His ears flicked with surprise...so did his tail...but he still seemed calm enough.

"Uhhh....yeah, I guess," he breathed, "He was a bit shaken up but everyone's alright for him."

"That's good to hear!" I smiled. "I just...I just thought about it...with everything on the news and all..."

"I'll tell him you were worried," he reached his neck and left the top two buttons undone.

"Oh if it's no trouble, "I said, "I should tell him it myself, I guess...on Facebook or something..."

"I'm gonna see him this afternoon," Mason said, "I can tell then."

"Oh?" My ears perked quickly.

"Yeah, we're gonna...hang out," the wolf replied.

Hmm...or maybe make out?

"Sounds fun!" I smiled.

"It's cool," he said.

"Well, do give Haakon my best," I said as I went over to my own locker.

"Yeah, sure," he said.

"Oh!" I yelped, considering it seemed he was preparing to leave the room. "If you're going upstairs...Marge might need a bit of help with a shelf, so...be on your guard?"

Mason gave me a look, but eventually nodded.

"Sure!"

I dared to go back upstairs after a few minutes of grooming and preening, to find Marge supervising Mason trying to fix the shelf with his bare paws, it seemed. I settled to observe.

"I think the tabs have bent, or something," I noted.

"Believe this Tim Allen here when he says so," Marge's tail threatened my balls with a rapid, looping flick.

Mason ducked his head up from under the shelf and gave us a look.

"Who's Tim Allen?" the wolf asked.

Marge went overboard.

"Awwwwww, baby boy!" she clapped her paw together before she patted his shoulder firmly. The wolf gave the two of us a puzzled look. I tried not to smirk.

"Whut?" Mason snorted.

"Don't worry about it," I said, "what do you think about the shelf?"

"Well looks like it's bent," Mason mused.

"Well now that all three of us have come to the same conclusion..." Marge stated.

"Are you looking at us as men to fix it?" I questioned her.

"Well, isn't it only natural, if I'm just a weak girl?" Marge suggested.

Hmmm...she didn't look particularly weak, not by any means...

"Could've fooled me," I said.

"Oh you boys, why don't you stop comparing your equipment and just clean this up?" Marge said. "There's a tool kit in the back, Mason, can you fetch it?"

"Sure, if you tell me where it is."

"It's in the closet in the kitchen, where we keep our first aid kit."

Mason's ears flicked.

"I don't know where that is."

Marge harrumphed.

"Well I'll get it," she snorted, "you are useless today."

She stormed away with a wide loop of her tail trailing her, leaving just Mason and me there to contemplate the mess on the floor.

"I guess we gotta start with these," Mason waved his paw over the pile of books.

"Let me get the cart, we can put them on that for now," I smiled.

"Sure."

*

"Hiiiii boys!"

We'd just about covered Macroenomics for Dummies and Sitar for Dummies when Crystal sailed into the store, a takeaway coffee firmly in her hand as she clip-clopped into the shop like a runway model, or something like it, in her summery clothes.

We answered with a chirping of hellos and hi's, and she moored herself onto our side, observing me and Mason and the rapidly declining mess.

"What's going on here?"

"The shelf gave up when Marge was filling it," I said.

Crystal peered down at the shelf and gave us an expansive nod.

"Looks like the tabs have gone," she said.

I chuckled. Mason gave her a surprised look.

"You don't say?" I said.

"Yeah, they've problem come loose from all the furs walking around the shop," Crystal continued, "it's a kind of a resonance, I guess, the force of steps makes the shelf kind of bounce and then it creates a kind of a torque and the force transfers to the tabs and they slowly shake themselves loose."

We just stared. Mason was open-muzzled.

"Well I took physics at schools," Crystal nickered, "And when you've got six horses in one home, you learn that any regular furniture won't survive too long."

"Anything we can do about it?" I asked.

"You need kind of special tabs with locking pins on them," she spoke with professional flair. "And before that we should check how many shelves have been affected."

"So we gotta go through every one of them..." I rumbled.

"Morning, Crystal!"

Marge appeared again, carrying a pink plastic case with her. She appeared very pleased with herself, which didn't really bear well.

"Hi Marge, how're you?" the girly carpenter-surprise mare crooned over to her boss.

"Feeling like I'm gonna puke any second, but what's new?" the cougar replied.

"I heard ginger helps," Crystal chirped.

"I heard it's an aphrodisiac," Marge noted, "I should ask Goggy to make me some gingerbreads then..."

Oh, God...

"Or not..." Marge continued, "I'm already wearing him down, not sure if some extra boost would do much good anymore.."

"Are you sure you're not thinking about ginseng?" Mason spoke up suddenly.

We all looked at him...especially Marge, whose tail was flicking dangerously.

"Oh, Mason, I don't think you need any aphrodisiacs...such a young, sturdy man..."

Oh Marge, give up!

"I could use some tea," I said, to try and distract from any further discussion of sexual prowess while my own had been proven to be rather troublesome. One night spent imagining itches in my urethra and my balls was more than enough for me, thank you. I really needed to get this thing done and over with before I could do anything normal with my life, such as work without distractions.

"Not before someone fixes this shelf with my Lady-Can-Do-It tool kit," Marge declared, "Otherwise we can't open the shop."

"It's just one shelf," Mason said.

"It's a health and safety hazard," Marge snapped right back. "Do you want to be responsible for someone cracking their skull open on our shop floor?"

"How about we put police tape around it?" I said.

Marge shoved the box against my chest, causing me to instinctively grab it, my furs bristling a little from the sudden impact.

"Rory is in charge now," she stated dramatically," excuse me while I go and throw up."

"Well..." I started just when she stormed away, leaving the three of us in the main floor.

"Well..." Crystal said.

"Is this normal?" Mason asked.

"I think so," I said, "probably."

"It's only going to get worse, too," Crystal said, "the bitchiness increases exponentially."

"You're kidding," Mason huffed.

"Not too much," Crystal nickered cheerfully, "though I know it ain't pretty..."

"No..."I concurred.

"Chicks are weird," Mason shook his head.

Oh, right.

"Give those to me, Rory," Crystal grabbed the tool kit from my arms, "I'll screw this back into shape in no time."

Guess Crystal made a better handyman than me for now...

"Mason, let's go and check the paper stands, shall we?"

"Sure, dude," the wolf said.

We scuttled into safety and left Crystal humming something by Beyoncé, by the sounds of it.

Our peace behind the island of the sales counter was a short-lived one, however. While Crystal happily worked on the shelf, Marge re-appeared to find me setting up the cash register, with Mason messing out with the packing materials.

"Why are you just standing around?"

"Well the papers were in place so we thought we'd set things up here," I waved at the counter.

"This thing needs a polish," Marge wiped his fingerpads along the glass surface.

"It was cleaned last night," I said, "it always is."

"It looks filthy."

"How about I spread these leaflets over it?" I grabbed a bunch.

"That's ridiculous!" Marge snarled. "That'd make it cluttered."

"What else can we do?" I argued.

"How about clean it?"

I brushed my arm over the countertop and then lifted it up so that a sour-looking Marge could see it all.

"There!" I said. "Not a fleck of dust! Shall I lick it next?"

Marge folded her arms over her bosom and snorted.

"Why is everyone crazy this morning?" she huffed.

"I do wonder," I said.

"And it's time," Marge declared, on her way to the front door, "places, everyone!"

*

This weren't too busy, thankfully, so after about an hour, I managed to make an excuse to Marge and slipped to the back room. I paced along the shelves for a comfortable spot and then took out my phone after staring it for a while...I'd gotten the number from the net and put it onto my phone, and now it was just a matter of having the balls to phone.

Come on, Rory....it was the responsible thing to do...the only thing to do, really...think of the relief...think of the happy reunion...think of the hot reunion...

Here we go...

It rang seven times before someone finally answered.

"You have reached the Taylor University Hospital sexual health hotline. This is a free service provided by the Taylor University Clinic for Dermatology. Good morning, I'm Matthew, how can I help you?"

Damn...the well-rehearsed voice on the other side of the line sure spoke quickly...and it was a man. Somehow I hadn't expected a man...I mean...a man...and I was a man...and I had to...talk about...man stuff...to a man...man to man...

"Ahh...hello?"

"Good morning, sir, how can I help you?"

I scratched the back of my neck and took a deep breath.

"Well, I wanted to ask about something, really..."

"What seems to be the issue?"

"Well...ah...I was having sex and...the condom broke..."

"Are you worried about the possibility of unwanted pregnancy?"

"Ehhh..."

"If there is a fear of unwanted pregnancy and if less than 72 hours have passed since intercourse and your partner is over seventeen years of age, it is possible obtain emergency contraception from any pharmacy without a prescription. Are you familiar with the morning after pill as a form of emergency contraception when other methods have failed?"

Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...

"Ah...actually...I don't think that's the problem...uh...it was actually...between men."

"Oh!"

Damn...

"Oh, do forgive me, sir! I presume you are worried about possible STD transmission because the condom broke, is that right?"

"Uh...yeah?"

"In what kind of sexual act did the condom break?"

Courage, Rory...courage.

"It was anal sex, "I blurted out.

"Were you the guy on the top or on the bottom?" the voice on the other end of the line questioned with remarkable calm.

"Eh...top?"

"Did ejaculation occur inside your partner?"

"Ah...ah...yes, yeah, that's why we noticed that it broke...just when I...pulled out."

"Did you have any other forms of unprotected sex?"

"We stopped pretty damn quickly after that," I huffed, "no, no, there wasn't anything else."

"Have you and your partner been recently tested for HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases?"

"Well, I think it's been a while for both of us," I said, "we've always been safe though."

"Have either of you had any symptoms in your genital region or changes in your general health status?"

"I don't think so."

"Since it has been some time since your last test and this is obviously a subject of some worry for you, it would the best option that you seek free STD testing at our clinic or with your primary healthcare provider."

"Yeah, sure, sure, I think so too."

"Our walk-in clinic serves from nine am to five pm every workday. I'm afraid Mondays are somewhat more crowded, so it might be somewhat difficult to get an appointment today, but if you believe there is an especial risk of transmission, you can always seek testing at the emergency department. You should also refrain from any sexual activity with a partner before you have been tested."

"I don't think that's going to be a problem," I huffed, "well, thanks a bunch for help, I'll...I'll try to get it done as soon as possible."

"As it should be, sir. Have a nice day, and remember, you can always call back if you have further questions!"

"Yes, thank you, and good day."

"Good day!"

"Shiiiit..." I smacked the nearby shelf with the paw of mine that wasn't holding a phone and snarled. It made a bang much louder than I thought it would.

I heard the shuffle of furs, and with my head turning quickly, I saw a glimpse of grey furs, somewhere behind the next shelf, followed by eyes and...and telltale earphone cables.

Oh.

THE HOCKEY HUNK RETURNS IN JANUARY 2014, COMING TO SOFURRY IN HD DEFINITION WITH EXTRA DRAMA!

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Thank you for reading my story!

I hope you enjoyed it, and I do look forward to hearing your feedback on this chapter and the first part of the season as a whole, of course! Also remember that all votes, faves and watches will help others to find these stories to enjoy as well!

See you guys soon, with other stories, and of course, with The Hockey Hunk!