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Look how she giggles when he jokes and flirts with her. You never did that. Look how she touches his arm. You never even tried. She's not gonna go down on him until at least after homecoming. All it took you was a little liquor and a nice situation to take advantage of. She's the fun, funny girl everyone likes and he wants. You're just the sniveling sadsack once-best-friend that's best kept at arm's length now.

I mopily picked at the light gray hairs on my forearm after pushing away my half-full tray, trying not to act too weird as Brad and Angela teased each other. For some reason that shit didn't make me very hungry for overcooked Hamburger Helper.

They hadn't said they were "dating" yet, but they already looked like the picture-perfect All-American high-school-sweetheart couple. Lion and lioness, letter jacket and leotard. Not even a species mismatch to make you think they weren't going to Mom's Diner after the sock hop to get 25-cent burgers.

Angela was smart, sexy, not too thin, a dancer, and on the English team. Worst of all, she was very funny, friendly, and had things in common with Brad. And she liked hanging out with his friends.

She was even concerned and observant about one of them. "Lang, you feeling alright? You usually eat a lot more."

I smiled at her weakly. "Just not too hungry. This stuff's fucking terrible anyway."

"Tell me about it. I gave up on the school's entrées long ago, I just bring my own salads. More refreshing so I don't feel like falling asleep in study hall too." Even though I'd only eaten half of the portion or so, I could already feel the warm sludge sitting in my stomach just waiting for my system to grind to a halt so it could be agonizingly processed. I knew exactly the feeling Angela was talking about.

I groaned out loud. "I know exactly that feeling you're talking about. Maybe I'll start doing that. I have enough demerits from Mr. Ross for sleeping in his period."

"Maybe if he wasn't boring as fuck, then people would be inclined to stay awake." The lioness rolled her eyes sympathetically at me and crunched another bite of lettuce along with a cherry tomato. That did actually look pretty tasty even in my current mood....

"'Boring' says the chick eating only a salad for lunch!" Brad smirked and wrinkled his eyes at her, tapping his fist on her shoulder.

"Well maybe you should try it, Mr. Pudgey-Wudgey!" Angela poked her fork into his fleshy stomach in retort.

I crossed my arms on the table and laid my chin on them, eyes leveled mournfully at the half-mound of tacky noodles and meat, and fantasized about it turning into a crisp leafy pile of lettuce. Guess the salad's always greener on the other side...

My stomach growled, and I almost answered it in kind.

* * *

To get you to kick the ball hard and square, they always tell you to pretend it's your little brother's head or something.

Fine by me.

Aaaaaaaaand take THAT, Brian! My foot connected rock-solid, but I didn't even have a second to feel any satisfaction before it was ably swatted away by Rick, who had seen every move coming and dove to just the right spot to thwart my goal attempt. Coach's whistle blew and Rick stood up, dusting himself off with an air of prim satisfaction, his long ears perked up and twitching in my direction as I tried not to acknowledge or notice his look.Fucking kangaroos.

While Coach was resetting the drill and substituting players, Darren huffed up beside me. "Dude...alright we fucking gotta score on him soon and knock that ego up his ass a little bit."

I grunted. "Damn if I don't wanna, but you got a brilliant plan? I'm giving it my best stuff."

"That's just it I think. Your technique is basically perfect but he's seen it all before and he knows your shit."

"Sooooooo..."

"So you need a wingman, bro! Let's try it. I'll keep him occupied and let him think I'm goin' for it, then I'm gonna get the ball to you and you'll have plenty of room to slip it in there!"

"Dude...are you an idiot? Because Rick's not, and that's already a thing. Like, if he misses that, something's up."

"Fuck you, you know I haven't been doing this as long as you. Let's just try it, come on."

Coach's whistle blew again and Darren clapped my shoulder blade, trotting off to the left inside position before giving me a chance to agree to the plan. But of course I wanted to try it; it would definitely feel good to have a little triumph to take my mind off...things.

LIKE LION DICKS

Another whistle.

This time I decided to look like I was hanging back and letting Darren have his turn. I trotted easily along with the other players, keeping more or less level with the stripey equine on the opposite side of the field, not focusing on Rick. The zebra was locked on target, guiding the ball right towards the left side of the goal. Just as his leg reared back to smack it, his eyes flashed over to me and he changed the angle of his kick to send the ball my way. I didn't hesitate an instant, my right foot deftly stopping most of the ball's momentum and then the inside of my arch connecting with it (suck it, Brian!) to aim it right past the pompous goalkeeper.

Rick had realized he'd been faked as soon as Darren passed to me, but his dive was too late. The goal rattled as the ball tented out the back of the net. "FUCK YES!" I punched my fists in the air with a whoop and a real smile.

Rick was standing up and dusting himself, looking right at me. But his face wasn't a glower that I'd finally gotten past him.

It was a smirk, and dare I say a knowing one.

I forgot about it when Darren came over for a high five.

* * *

"sry bro forgot to tell you im goin to angelas place, can you get a ride?"

Lockers clanged and showers hissed as I replied to Brad's text. "yeah i can call my sister or somethin"

I sighed and sent the message. My parents would make Delana pick me up from school even if she didn't want to, but she'd resent every second and make me do so too. And I couldn't help but already resent Brad ditching me and putting me in the situation...

Whatever. The phone rang in my ear as I fished my fresh clothes out of the bag in my locker with my free hand.

"What, Lang?"

"Hey, uh, can you pick me up from practice? Brad had...stuff."

"Seriously?! I'm watching something here."

"Sorry! He didn't tell me until just now."

"Ughhh. Mommmm! Lang's stuck at practice, can you go get him? ...I can watch the oven then! ...Oh, fine! Okay, your ass better be ready as soon as I get there."

"I'm not a girl, I don't take seven years to shower and dry off like you do."

Beep beep beep

Bitch.

Well at least now I had fifteen minutes or so to actually shower at the school instead of having to wait until Brad's house like usual. Plenty of other guys had already left, and a few were finishing up their showers as I stepped under a spigot.

I dunno why Brad disliked showering at the school so much. Felt pretty good to me to be able to soak and scrub a little bit right after some sweating, without giving it the chance to dry. I mused about it while relaxing under the spray. Maybe he was self-conscious about his mane in such an exposed environment, or maybe...

My eyes widened when I thought that now I knew he wasn't much of a show-er...down there. Was he ashamed of that?

And should I be ashamed that every third thought I had lately was about his penis?

"Heh," I heard from behind me, someone outside the shower area. I looked around and realized I hadn't noticed that everyone else had left. Everyone except the utterer of that attention-getting syllable.

Which happened to be Rick.

I felt a hot weight in my stomach that was more than just a pang of being mildly startled at someone else's presence. All of a sudden I was very nervous. Rick wasn't a thug, surely. I had scored a goal past him finally, but it wasn't a personal feud or anything. How much did he resent it? Enough to corner you in the shower, alone and naked...

"Uhhhh..." I said stupidly before getting my mouth on track with my mind. "Look man, I don't know what this is about, but that score was nothing personal, so if you, uh...were gonna..." I trailed off when he leaned up against the wall that framed the entryway to the showers, crossing his arms and giving me a smirk that I now recognized as the same one he'd been wearing after my successful goal attempt in practice. His thick tail flopped lazily on the floor, and my waterlogged one gave an anxious, confused switch back and forth behind me. All this time I was completely aware that I was wearing only my matted-down fur, and that Rick was fully dressed and ready to leave.

And he still wasn't saying anything. Just leaning on that wall casually and...watching me.

I stepped out from under the shower spray, advancing my dripping self a couple feet closer to the kangaroo. Isn't that what alpha males were supposed to do when they didn't want to be fucked with? Take charge of the situation?

He didn't move a muscle, not even a flinch. And I probably looked ridiculous, trying to puff myself up when every light-colored hair on my body was lying flat and dull right against my skin.

"What do you want? Yeah, I scored on you. So what? Maybe I'm getting better. Or maybe you're slipping. Either way it's not my problem. So whatever this is..." I looked at him, up and down once, his eyes drolly half-lidded and his pose completely unconcerned. "...You better just call it off."

I stood there dripping for a few seconds. I don't know how he didn't laugh out loud at that point.

Instead he just huffed, like just one chuckle. "Damn dude, you score one goal and you get all..." It was his turn to size me up, his eyes flicking down and back. "...cocky."

This was all such a bluff on my part though, and I think he knew it. He was teasing me! I blushed from several levels of embarrassment and lost quite a bit of the nerve I'd only been pretending to muster anyway. "Look, man, I just--"

"You know, that goal isn't the only thing you could score on me."

I blinked at his interruption and then blinked again because I had no idea what it meant. He uncrossed his arms and legs and took a step towards me. We were only a couple feet apart now. I guess I was a half a head taller than him, but...that smirk hadn't moved an inch and it was making me feel awfully stupid and small.

"What the fuck?"

"Is there...something you want, Lang? I definitely wouldn't mind helping you out, you know." He was suddenly a foot closer and his claws were scratching lightly through the still-sopping fur on my chest. Scratching DOWN. Which was the same direction his smirky face was looking.

FUCK

I shot back from him faster than should have been possible given the current level of evolution and technology. I felt one foot slip on the tiled shower floor but I set it back down and caught myself in time to not look any sillier than I did already. The shower head had long since automatically shut off, but I backed up even further than that, halfway between it and the next one. My motion did activate the one I'd been using though, and now I saw Rick through a veil of spraying water. And panic.

"I'm not gay."

"Why not?"

I opened my mouth and just left it like that.

"You don't even have to be," he matter-of-factly cajoled. "Or you can be unsure. Just, if they're anything you'd wanna try sometime, I'm offering my help and my...services."

I shut my mouth and breathed a few times. Then a few more times. "How'd you know." It didn't sound like a question, the way I said it.

"I told you, man, don't freak out. It's not like I'm gonna out you if you are, I'm cooler than that, come on!"

"How did you know."

"Dude...it's just a hunch. I just thought I'd -"

"YOU KNEW. HOW DID YOU KNOW."

"Alright! I'm not supposed to say this but since you're so fucking worried about it, it might put your mind at rest. I was told you might be up for this and to give it a shot, as a favor for Brad."

I felt like I would never move again.

After probably a whole minute, I hoarsely managed, "What."

"He just told me earlier today when we saw each other in the bathroom that you were kinda having a weird time lately and that you might like to figure this whole thing out, with some...help. So I told him I'd offer, and I tried to make it sexy, I dunno, dude, it was all a misunderstanding apparently, just forget it fucking happened alright? Jesus Christ." He picked up the bag he'd set next to the wall by the showers, slung it over his shoulder, and headed towards the door. "That goal was fake, by the way. I'm not that stupid. Thought it might boost your confidence or something. See you in practice tomorrow."

One minute after he was out the door, I was out of the shower and as dried off as I felt like getting, and fully dressed. I stepped outside and saw the small red pickup truck I knew to be Rick's, which must have been the last car in the whole section of the parking lot, turning onto the road and taking off. There was still no sign yet of the silver Buick that was Delana's.

I fumbled my phone out of my bag. Punched the only number that was on speed dial. Turned toward the locker room building and hit the butt of my fist on the wall as it rang.

Brad answered, already laughing from something Angela probably said just before I called. "What's up, dude, you get a ride?"

"You told Rick?!"

"Huh? Rick?"

"You know what I'm talking about. You told him, man!"

"Oh, uh, yeah. Did he...talk to you..."

"Yes, he tried to fuck me!" I half-yelled, half-hissed. I wasn't bluffing this bluster at all. I was terrified, and pissed off.

"Um, well that was fast...are you gonna?"

"What?! NO!" I hit my fist on the wall again. "I don't even like him! I didn't even know he was gay!"

"Seriously? Dude, everyone knows Rick's gay."

That caught me. "E-everyone?"

"Yeah, pretty much anyone that knows him, he's out to. And nobody cares. He's cool."

"How come I never knew this?!"

"Cause we never talked about him. And uh, dude you kinda only ever talk to me."

"I..." For some reason I couldn't place, that really stung. "I can't help it that you're the only guy friend I've ever had."

"I didn't mean that as necessarily a bad thing, it's just that you're not...you know...very in the social scene. I thought you knew about Rick too!"

"Well I didn't, and you sicced him on me to...I don't know, make yourself feel better?!"

"Hey, that's not fair man, I'm just trying to help. I know I can't be what you want me to be so I thought he might be able to."

"It's not--" My voice caught on the lump in my throat. I swallowed painfully and rested my head on the wall. "It's not like that. It's not that easy."

"Well I just thought it'd be worth a shot. Maybe I shouldn't have told him, but he's the last person that's gonna tell anyone else and I didn't think it could hurt to give him a push in your direction--"

"Damn right you shouldn't have told him, you shouldn't have told ANYONE because I don't want everyone to know that I'M FUCKING GAY, YOU ASSHOLE!"

In the shocked silence on both our parts that followed that, my ears twitched backwards when I heard a motor approaching. I looked over my shoulder. Delana's car had just entered the parking lot and was heading my way.

I turned back to the wall, took my phone away from my ear, and just looked at it. I could faintly hear Brad's voice saying something, but I still had kind of an adrenaline rush from the last thing I said, and it didn't feel like a positive one. I just flipped the phone closed and shakily stuffed it in my bag.

"Well? Let's go!"

I shouldered my bag for the few steps it took me to trudge to the passenger door of Delana's car, her eyes tracking me impatiently through the rolled-down window, and even once I'd flopped down in the seat with my bag in my lap and my head hung down.

She finally huffed and put the car back in gear. "So why'd your boyfriend ditch you?"