A Christmas Carrot

Story by Kaijou on SoFurry

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As ever, belated. This is my contribution to Christmas~

A retelling, if short and silly, of 'A Christmas Carol'

With Teio as Ebenezer Scrooge, Kai as Christmas-Past, damienfox as Christmas-future and and unnamed giant polar bear as Christmas-present.

Damien is entirely at fault for this debauchery. >:T


A Christmas Carrot- er.. Carol.

© Tsumi Moogle '12

Characters © Themselves.

With a great deal of bustling to get away from the cold, bleak and biting reach of the harsh winters evening, the rabbit slipped around the heavy wooden door and shut it with more force than he'd intended, as the howling wind cried after him.

Panting, not for heat, nor exertion, so much as the ability to breath properly at last, the young lape began tugging his numerous layers free. The scarlet scarf wrapped about his neck and face, the thick beanie permitting his ears to tumble down the sleet-flecked fibers of his thick coat.

And finally, his slush-laden boots, the leather shining in the lights of his family's rather mansion-sized house.

Wriggling his toes and slowly rubbing his arms over himself, he regarded the doorway off to the den. The room alight with the sounds of his family, and the unmistakable sound of caroling. No doubt the large event put on by a number of stars and showed on every available TV station. Though the songs were of much higher caliber, he'd heard them so many times that day, let alone two -months- leading up to that they still made his teeth grit.

'Good evening, Teio.' came the sound of his younger sister, Trisha. Turning his head back to her as he paused in mid-stride towards the stairs, the albino lapine sighed.

'Evening, Trish.' the tone in his voice didn't invite a follow-up conversation, and already he was turning to make for the stairs.

'Not going to come watch the carols with us?' Continued his sister's voice; soft; welcoming.

'Honestly, Trish. If I have to hear 'The Little Drummer-boy' one more time, I'm going to throw something. I'd really just like to go to bed.' Teio said, looking back again with a withering gaze and clearly trying to maintain civility.

'Tsk. Benji and Barty are flitting about their presents, Devlin's teasing Alex, who's passed out on the couch.. are you sure? We don't get together often like this, Snow. You know that.' The use of his nick-name, rather than endear him, reminded him only of the terrible weather and did nothing for his mood.

'..Do you want dinner, at the very least?' Trish continued hopefully.

'I've already eaten, thank you. Good night.' The tone was very simple and final. Not harsh, but Trish knew the tone well enough to just nod and sigh in defeat. 'Good night, Teio. Merry Christmas.' She sighed wistfully up to the older lapine taking the stairs three at a time, tugging his phone from his pocket and soon vanishing into his room. She distinctly heard the word 'Humbug'

Decidedly locking the door behind himself, Teio turned off his phone, ignoring a message from his friend Sam before he unbuttoned his shirt. Letting it flutter to the carpet haphazardly, his pants, and socks followed as he walked towards his bed. The thought of another day of Christmas shoppers, and acquaintances trying to be subtle in hinting on wanting something pricey from the rich kid more than he could stand. Slipping himself beneath the thick covers and snapping his fingers sharply, the lights of his room blinked off, permitting the young lape to begin wrestling with his most unhelpful pillow, punching it a couple of times to get it into a more agreeable shape before he settled down and stared faintly at the snow falling in earnest outside his window, as opposed to being tossed in the wind like refuse as it had not minutes before. The comparison to when he'd been out there was almost insulting. Closing his eyes, he tugged his blankets about his shoulders, burying in and trying his best to sleep. The sooner the season was over, the better.

He didn't quite remember falling asleep. But opening his eyes, he frowned as he noted his room still being dark. He hadn't set an alarm.. and there was really no reason -for- him having woken up. He shook his head and turned from the snow, falling gentler still, the sky, and the world seeming a little darker, probably for the lateness of the hour. And rolling over, he paused for the sight of someone else in his room. Not someone that made him sit up and yell for help, but one that made his eyes narrow, then blink in confusion. The edge of their form was hazy. And they glowed in an odd, unsteady light. Like a candle, flickering faintly in the wind. Their face seemed like that of a wolf's. ..No, more like a Hyena's. ..Or was it a cheetah? ..No, a tiger?

Teio realized that their form seemed in perpetual flux, as they walked silently towards his bed.

They stopped, several feet from it's edge, looking down to the rabbit and seeming to grin as they regarded him. 'Good evening, Teio. Spirit of Christmas-past, at your service.' They said quite cheerily, giving a light bow. The lapine, blinking, slowly pinched the corners of his scarlet eyes.

'Oh for the love of..' He muttered darkly. 'Doing my best to be away with this silly season, and my -brain- is giving me -this-? Seriously?' He stared at the figure, who seemed to be shifting their shape faster. And they seemed to have noticed it.

'Apparently, yeah. Oop. Just a sec, hang on. I got this.' They murmured, fumbling in the airy robe they wore, before grunting and breaking something inside that made a faint shorting-out sound. Immediately, their form became more solid, and defined about the edges. Which were now seemingly locked in a hybrid mix of Wolf and Hyena. The glow had also vanished.

'Right. So, where was I? ..Oh yeah. Christmas-past.' He wriggled his hands, as if to maintain some notion of mysticism. Teio just rolled his eyes, sighing.

'If it's all the same to you, I'd like to just roll over and go back to sleep.' The lapine grumbled, beginning to squirm down into his blankets. Almost immediately, the 'spirit' reached out and pinched the base of one of his lop-ears smartingly, dragging the yelping bunny out of bed.

'Up. Now.' He said sharply. 'You can sleep when I'm done. ...Least until Present and Future get here.'

Teio's eyes just narrowed, whilst he rubbed his ear. Sighing, he fetched a thick robe to snug about his shoulders. 'Alright then.. Lead on.' He sighed, tying the robe shut and following the tall form as they began walking towards his door.

'Well, given the way you reacted, I'm pretty sure you know how tonight's supposed to go.' The hybrid said, pausing at the door. 'But bare with me. We don't show up to just anyone, okay? Now, I know you have a hate-boner for Christmas. Plenty of people do. But come on.' He opened the door and stepped through. Following, Teio gasped some. The finery of the huge house he expected to find outside his room, turned instead, to be a familiar, nostalgic house. Much smaller in size, but much more festively decorated. With tinsel lining the railings of the upstairs level, and down the stairs.. Baubles hung here or there from door-ways, as well as a sprig or two of mistletoe. It was his family's old house, before his father's business had really taken off..

The 'spirit' had already begun walking down the stairs, and getting over his shock, the lapine followed him.

'How is -this- bad? Look how festive this place is.' He watched a pair of bunnies, no older than three or four giggling, sprinting from the kitchen, through his form like smoke and around into the den. 'How happy everyone is. Isn't -this- the spirit of Christmas? What's so bad about this? Gift giving, and being close with your family? Good will and all that?' The hybrid grinned, padding into the den after the rambunctious duo.

Teio blinked as he followed.. But already his lips were pursing. He recognized this Christmas morning. He knew it well. Stepping in after the spirit, he looked about, and sure enough, there he was on the floor by the huge tree, opening a large box.

'Oh wow!' The little albino squeaked in delight, lifting a large, thick, sinuous body from the box. 'Mom and Dad were listening!' Teio's younger self giggled, watching the large python eying him, slithering slowly in his hands, coiling, wrapping about his arms and draping about his neck whilst his siblings busied themselves with their own toys and gifts.

'See how happy you are?' The hybrid grinned back to the rabbit. Teio inclined his head and nodded. 'Yeah, I suppose. ..Untiiiiiiiiil.. That happened.' The lapine said, watching and shivering. The snake had begun tightening its grasp, leering in at the little bunny who was gasping, squeaking.

'A-..Alex? What's it doing?' Teio's younger form squeaked, wheezing some as the thick coils tightened about his chest, and slowly his neck. Trying to push at the snake, the bunny blinked, finding its jaws opening, and sliding over his fingers, hand and wrist. Alex, Teio's older sibling, enthralled with his huge Mechano set, didn't even look up as he regarded several pieces.

'Ahh, he's just playing.' The splotchy-furred bunny said airily.

The spirit blinked, coughing some and scratching the back of his head, looking from the bunny turning blue in the face, with a python swallowing down his arm.

'Well.. uhmm.. yeah. Ok.. well played. ..But they got you out okay though!'

Teio just stared at the spirit, who coughed faintly.

'Are we done here?'

'...Yeah, I think so. But remember, Christmas isn't a bad thing. ...I'm going to get written up, for sure.' The spirit muttered abashedly. And snapping his fingers like Teio had for his lights, the bright Christmas morning, the sounds of his siblings realizing the bunny was being strangled and swallowed, vanished into the inky gloom of the Lapine's bedroom proper.

Rubbing his eyes faintly for the change in lighting, the rabbit sighed, noting the spirit had vanished. Slipping his robe off, he crawled back into bed and let his eyes close once more.

And once again, only too soon, they opened. He blinked softly, 'feeling' more than knowing why he was awake. His head turned and he froze in shock again. If only because the figure standing in his bedroom was not the one he had anticipated.

They were hard to see, but they were definitely -there-. A tall, slim figure, clad in shadows that danced faintly at the edge of the gloom around it. The space where their head was pitch black, a face recessed in pure darkness.

'...I thought I was expecting Christmas-present, next.' Teio swallowed, flicking his ears. The shrouded figure seemed to move. But in the gloom, even squinting, the lapine couldn't make out the mute motions, intended to have some air of guided mystery, instead just making it impossible for him to read their form.

'...What?'

The cloaked figure sighed, and tugged the hood back. Revealing the rather handsome features of a dark-furred fox.

'I told them the cloak was overdoing it.' the fox muttered to himself in a buttery-smooth voice that Teio found very easy on his large ears. Tugging the cloak entirely off, the fox threw it aside. It vanished into the gloom, like smoke, leaving the fox in a pair of jeans, and nothing more.

'As I was saying. ..Or at least miming; Present is coming later. We're kind of mixing things up a bit. People were getting a bit too good at anticipating us.' The fox said, shrugging in a helpless manner.

Blinking, Teio inclined his head. 'So.. what, you're here to show me how I cause the death of Tiny Tim, and how everyone will forget me, and steal from me when I die in.. like, sixty years?'

The fox wore a look that he himself had worn only earlier in the evening. That dry, exasperated, half-roll of the eyes that said he'd heard that plenty of times.

'Nope. We finished with that shtick about 50 years ago. People just stopped reacting to it. ...Or completely overreacting to it. Had some people, went to sleep on acid or something. They screamed like a banshee.' The fox almost grinned.

'Well, I'm not scrooge, I mean, come on, What am I guilty of, hating the sound of carols that are on repeat for a solid month and opting not to spend outrageous money on people who just suck up to me?'

Teio said, crossing his arms. The fox tutted softly. 'Well, no. But that whole not hanging out with your family's kind of a dick move.'

'Just wait until you get a memo from Christmas-past.' Teio sighed lightly, slipping on his robe. He could already guess what was coming. The fox, however, held out a hand.

'Hold on. You should only get out of bed if you want to see what will happen to you if you continue on this path.' The fox said, his eyebrows raised and a rather strange look on his face. Like he were trying to hide the smile on his face, and somewhat failing at it.

'Might as well get this over with.' Teio muttered, tugging the robe on once more and stepping out of bed. The fox just grinned, shrugged and turned. Padding for the doorway, as had the previous spirit, he opened it, but didn't step through.

The lapine blinked, as the fox stood beside the door, looking in. He stepped up beside him, and stared in with him. He blinked, utterly perplexed.

The doorway the fox had opened, lead out, not into his hallway, the shop he worked at, or the home of any of his patrons, but into the down-stairs guest bathroom of his house. On the toilet was a hulking figure. A polar bear. Rather than being entirely white, he had a head of brown, curly locks, a thick leather jacket, and some pants that lay scrunched about his ankles. The massive ursine, somehow perched on the far-too-small latrine had his face buried in one of the magazines from a rack nearby as he undoubtedly handled a sizable dump.

'....What the hell?' Teio uttered in bewilderment, as the door closed. At the click of it shutting, the fox vanished, and the rabbit once again stood in his bedroom, alone. He opened the doorway again, finding the hallway where it should be, if barely illuminated.. before turning back to bed and crawling in, rubbing his head in confusion.

The feeling of sleep lifted for the third time that night, making Teio murmur faintly. More in curiousity than the dour moods he'd been in earlier.. Out his window, he could see the faint tinge of green on the horizon, hinting at Dawn being not far off at all. Rubbing his eyes again, the bunny sat up, and turned towards the depth of his bedroom. Only to find himself staring at a set of white-furred abs, barely a foot from his face.

Recoiling in shock, the lapine sprang back, sprawling on his bed and staring -up- at the figure of a huge polar bear. ...With brown, curly hair and a thick black leather jacket.

'W-.. Wait a minute. You're-'

'The Spirit of Christmas Present.' The bear rumbled, smirking as he leaned forward, pressing a denim-clad knee on the bed and looming over the rabbit.

'B-But you were the guy Future showed me-' Squeaked Teio, hoarsely as the bear just nodded, chuckling immodestly.

'Taking a dump, yep. Was just handling the last person we visited. They opted to follow the path future mentioned, too.'

'W-wait.. What? Didn't he mean.. like.. in the future?'

The spirit just grinned wider, looming over the rabbit.

'Come in, and know me better, man.' the bear rumbled like thunder, gaping his great jaws over the young lape, drool trickling over Teio's cheek.