10 Reaching Out
Enchantment of the SeasJuly 14, 20138:15 amStateroom #8096 Daisy lay across the bed staring at the ceiling, her worries about watching Paul and keeping him out of trouble lifted. Her father had the boy safely hidden away deep in the bowels of the ship under guard by ships security, something he should have done from the beginning. His attempt to contain and control the situation failed horribly, now even more people had been dragged into this mess. The friendship, and possibly more, that had begun between her and Cecily was stopped, broken if not totally destroyed. "What the fuck am I going to do about this shit?" she wondered aloud, talking to the mute walls. 'What the fuck can I do about it? Would she answer her phone if I called her to talk about this? Would I answer if she called me? Can I even look her in the eye now?' A thousand other thoughts raged in the moose herms mind. She was concerned for her brother Paul, he was family after all. Her guilt over raping the boy in his sleep gnawed at her constantly. Had she without knowing it set him up to be raped by the little mouse girl that she had feelings for? No, she had no way of knowing the girl was capable of such an act. She didn't know what the girl had been through in her life before they, met by chance, in the arcade a few days ago. She knew that her parents thought she should hate the girl for what she did to her brother, but she didn't. Truth was that she felt he got at least a little of what he deserved, for what he had done to Ralph's girlfriend Zoe. She had even planned to teach the boy a similar lesson herself, providing Cecily with the very things she used to bind and rape the boy unknowingly. Thinking about the normally shy, timid little mouse girl brought the memories of the hours spent together before her brother had been dumped on her to mind again. The same warm, tight feelings in her chest, screaming at her mind to do something, anything to end this turmoil in her heart one way or another. But what? Maybe she would be better off to just go back home, to her friends and her life before the mouse. Back to Winter Creek and the life
of a carefree spirit, the party girl the girl that everyone... Even as the thoughts crossed her mind one single, unflattering word sprang up, no matter how she tried to deny it, she knew it was a fact. She wasn't a party girl or a free spirit, no the short time she had spent with a shy little kangaroo mouse had shown three very important truths about herself and her life. 'You are a strong, confident, self assured (almost arrogantly so), woman despite being born a hermaphrodite', she thought to herself. 'But you're a slut Daisy Daniels, it's always been about who you could fuck and get your jollies with. Until this mouse you've never thought about anything else, about how you felt about the person or how they felt about you. You've never had, or wanted, any kind of relationship with anyone before, just a good time and a quick fuck. It took a scared, broken little girl to make you see what you are and what you've missed.' As she rose from her bed, grabbing her phone and jamming it into a pocket she stalked from the room, trying to shut out her own voice in her head as the final point was made. 'You know what these feelings are girl. It's no different than what you feel towards your brothers, even the idiot still makes you feel like this at times. 'You love her Daisy, no matter how hard to try to deny it, you love that broken, scared little mouse girl and you're miserable without her. Now the only question is, what the fuck are you going to do about it?' Enchantment of the SeasJuly 14, 201312:15 pmDeck 10 Jogging Track Daisy had been walking around the ship aimlessly for hours after having breakfast in Chops Grill, hoping against hope to see Cecily there again. Now she stood at the protective railing that surrounded the jogging track, staring out
across the expanse of ocean that engulfed her. Her mind was in turmoil, the messages Cecily sent only leaving her more confused than she had been earlier. She stared at the device in her paw thumbing through the messages over and over reading them each time, confused and frightened by the possibilities of what they meant to her. [12:00] Cecily: I have no idea what to do about us. But I know what i want in life. My family and I are already working on that. We are going to help furs that are like me, and Paul. Young furs [12:00] Cecily: that are damaged and hurting. We are going to give them a home, a safe place to stay, and help them. and get help for myself. I know what i want from you, but I can't have it. I want [12:01] Cecily: us to be more than just friends, but we can't do that. I don't know where we will be going in three days, let alone three weeks or months. You have a family, home , and friends you [12:01] Cecily: will be going back to. So what I want, what I need is a friend, someone I can call when things are hard, some one I can brag to when things are good, some one who will accept [12:01] Cecily: me for who I am, broken dark monstrous flaws and all. I want you to be the strong moose that I met, the girl I fell for, and the one thing that I can't have. I want you to be [12:02] Cecily: you. As she stared at the screen, reading them again for the hundredth time it was right there in front of her. Against all hope, even after everything that had happened in the last 2 days the mouse had typed it out, the words in her paw in front of her. "I want us to be more than just friends". Cecily had feelings for her too, confused, frightened by her own actions the mouse had written out her own very thought and wish. Her heart soared as she read those words again and again, only to fall back to earth, shattered into tiny fragments by the words that followed. 'but we can't do that. I don't know where we will be going in three days, let alone three weeks or months. You have a family, home , and friends will be going back to. So what I want, what I need is a friend,' "So that's it then? Just like that she tells me how she feels and that it doesn't matter? It's not bad enough that dad decided to cut our vacation short, to get Paul back home as fast as he can and into treatment before someone kills him? My family can't fuck up my life enough by themselves? The one person I've ever really given a fiddlers fuck about has to give me hope just to pull the world out from under my hooves too?" Jamming the phone into her shorts pocket her head dropped to the arm laying on the railing, "she wants me to be the strong girl she met, the party girl, the slut... I just, I " she broke down, sobbing quietly as the ocean and the world passed by slowly. The sudden touch of a paw on her shoulder startled her, not even lifting her head to see who it was she said, "what? Whoever it is what the hell do you want?", her voice flat, emotionless as she asked the question. "Daisy?," the voice of her eldest brother Ralph calling her name brought a tiny spark of hope to her heart. "Are, are you alright sis?" he asked, concern evident in his voice as he spoke. Even with his own life in seeming shambles the boy was concerned for her, she could hear it in his voice, afraid to look at him she replied, "no, but I think I will be. What do you want?" "I'm looking for your friend Ariel, well for her husband Mark actually, have you seen either of them? Or maybe know where I can find them?" "This time of day? If they're out of their room they should be in Chops having lunch, what's up?", she asked half heatedly. "Dad's decided to try to force me to break up with Zoe, gave me an ultimatum, either I break it off or he tries to force her to sign papers so that she can't get anything from me. I need to talk to Mark, he made an offer of a job to me a while back, I need to know if it still stands. Daisy, you need to know, because I can trust you. I'm not planning on ever leaving her, I'm...", he said, pausing for several long moments torn by a decision he was being forced to make. "If I can work things out I'm not going home. Zoe and I talked things over and we're keeping the baby..." As soon as she heard those words she grabbed her brother in a tight hug, nearly squeezing the air from the boys lungs. Her head on his shoulder she whispered softly into his ear, "thank you, for the love of God thank you and Zoe both for not giving into him. You two have to decide for yourselves what to do little brother. He's our dad, but don't let him fuck up your life. Tell Zoe I love her, and I respect you both for keeping your baby. If there's ever anything I can do..." she said, her brother recovered enough to return her firm embrace. "I may need you to give us a ride when we get back to Winter Creek. I doubt dad will do it, or let mom do it either once he finds out I'm defying him on this." "You got it Ralph, any time you need me just call, the phone is mine and he can't stop me, even if he gets pissed and throws me out he can't stop me, I won't let him," she said rubbing his back softly. Prying himself from her grasp he looked her in the eyes as he asked, "are you sure you're gonna be okay Daisy?", he asked, the concern returning to his voice. "Yea, I have to be, I'll have a niece or nephew to spoil the shit out of so I have to be don't I?" she asked, a forced smile on her muzzle. "Okay then, I have to find Mark, I need to have a plan soon so I can keep Zoe calm, she's been a train wreck ever since we found out," he said as he walked off to find the Bernese boy. Enchantment of the SeasJuly 14, 20131:23 pmStateroom #8096 Daisy lay across her bed, a towel wadded under her face as she cried, praying that each tear would carry with it even a tiny fraction of the pain, betrayal and rejection in her heart with them. After composing herself on the jogging track she answered the mouse girls texts, trying to stay as upbeat as possible, hiding her feelings as much as possible. Just because she was miserable was no reason to make the mouse girl feel the same. [12:48] Daisy: Sorry it took so long, my 'wonderful father' has been informing me that our vacation is being cut short by three weeks because of all this mess. [12:49] Daisy: I'm glad to hear that you've made up your mind about what
you want Cecily, and I'm kind of proud of you for wanting to help others like you and my asshat brother. [12:49] Daisy: I'm kind of confused about what it is you want for us, but I honestly can't think about that right now. Maybe in a day or so I can get my head on straight. [12:50] Daisy: But being your friend is easy, and I'd like that a lot too. But anything else I think we should talk about later. I... I have a lot to deal with first before I can think about stuff like that. [12:59] Daisy: I'll, try to be the girl you met. Right now that's the best I can offer. She glanced at her phone the reply messages still displayed on the screen... [13:14] Cecily: :) A friend is what I need. After everything that has happened I don't think I could really be more than that myself. [13:16] Cecily: i am sorry to hear about your vacation being cut short, I feel a little responsible for that. But, maybe things will settle down once you get home. Seeing the words again only tore at her heart more, even the reminder of her impending return 'home' was little comfort now. What would home be without her brothers, one in an institution to deal with his problems, the other living his own life removed from his own family because
of their fathers pig headed arrogance? No even returning to the home she had known for the last nine years would be no comfort to her. But at least it would be somewhere away from this damnable ship, away from the one person she cared for and wanted, despite the fact that person didn't seem to want her any longer. She curled herself into a tight ball, rejection and loneliness gnawing at her like a pack of feral wolves as she drifted into a fitful sleep, exhausted by the outpouring of emotions she had gone through. Ripped from her uneasy rest, another dream fueled by the anger and contempt between the members of her family she glanced to the clock beside her bed, "great another short nap fucked up," she grumbled, rubbing sleep from her red puffy eyes. "A whole fifteen minutes, fuck if I don't feel worse than I did to start with. Fuck this I need some air", the girl nearly screamed as she bolted from the confines of her stateroom. Daisy walked around the pool deck, her mind a tangled jumble of emotions that she was having a very hard time sorting out. Climbing the stairs to the jogging track on the deck above she started, a buzzing against her rump taking her by surprise for a moment. Pulling her phone into view she saw another message from Cecily; [14:35] Cecily: I got the pictures I took last night developed on the island. Can I keep them to finish the sketch, or do you want it back? [14:35] Cecily: Lilly also got me some new camera equipment. She said she was tired of buying me disposable cameras. I think she went overboard as usual. She began typing out a reply, leaning back against the railing as she quickly tapped at the screen in response, only to freeze as her thumb hovered over the send icon, suddenly unsure of herself, and the messages contents. She looked at it for several long moments debating why she had even typed out the words that stared back at her from the devices screen. Faltering in her resolve she tapped the delete icon instead, shoving the device back into her pocket. "No, that's not what I want to say right
now", she muttered to herself shaking her head slowly in thought. "I need to think about it first, and I shouldn't say things like that if I'm not ready to deal with what the answer might be." After reconsidering what she should say, she was able to form a response that wouldn't sound like she was being an ass, sending the message to the mouse girl that she cared for, unsure yet of how to approach the subject that she desperately wanted answers to. [14:55] Daisy: You found someone on the island to develop those? Sure keep them, I want you to finish the sketch, if you want to that is. Happy to hear Lily got you a decent camera, probably a lot cheaper in the long run too. As she looked out over the water, her message sent and her mind returning yet again to the utter turmoil of her family, her mind prodded her 'You have to do something, stop being a shit head. How long does this have to go on? What are you waiting for, make the first move damn it!' Drawing the phone from her pocket again she typed out a message to her friend, again deleting it and typing another instead, deleting that as well before shoving the device back in her pocket. "I'm such a fucking wimp, jesus christ I'd be better off if I just..." she let her voice trail off as she looked down the side of the ship at the dark churning water as it slid by the hull. She stared at the surface for several long moments before shaking her head, "only a pussy would do that.," she said aloud, her voice sounding far away even to herself. Turning, her sight fell to the climbing wall, for a moment she gauged it's height, 'now that, that could look like an accident instead of the cowards way out,' she thought to herself. Without thinking about what she was doing she pulled her phone out once more, typing out a message and sending it before she could change her mind. [15:20] Daisy: Cecily I... I'm sorry for dragging you and Lilly into this mess with my family. I don't know what I was thinking, I shouldn't have gotten you involved, hell I shouldn't be involved in any of this myself. I'm... I'm sorry. Pocketing the phone she glanced to the fake rock wall again for only a moment, shaking her head as she walked away muttering, "looks like an accident or not it's still a chickens way out."Trudging down the stairs to the pool deck below she headed towards the elevators, "fuck it, it doesn't matter anyway", she muttered to herself, "nothing matters any more."