Sunshine Days - Chapter 7
Jonathan sat at the very end of the arts and crafts table, one paw idly painting intricate swirls and patterns on a plastic cup with various acrylic paints and the other propped up under his chin. He had a dull, neutral expression on his face that would give anyone who glanced in his direction the impression that he was either feeling moody or completely bored with painting his cup. His lack of interest showed as he half-heartedly embellished the Bible verse printed on the cup, "Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. - John 4:14" with bright, cheery colors. The rest of the group, a total of six cubs that didn't feel like participating in the Volleyball tournament, painted their cups with shapes and symbols of their interests. Sunny pictures with crudely painted stick figures playing and having fun, all around the same Bible verse printed on each cup.
His cousin Vince strolled up to the table and invited himself to sit down next to the distant kitten. Jonathan seemed unfazed, unaware that anything had recently occupied the empty space next to him until the older cat stuck his paw between Jonathan's face and the cup and snapped his fingers.
"Hey! Johnny boy!"
This seemed to snap the boy out of his spell and he blinked up at his cousin.
"There you are! Hey, I was just checking up on you to see how you were doing. You liking camp alright?" Vince asked, crossing his arms on the table.
"S'alright..." Jonathan mumbled, looking back to his decorated tumbler.
Vince smiled amusedly at him. "That doesn't sound very convincing to me," he joked, nudging him with his elbow gently. "What's up?"
Jonathan could have brought up anything. His parent's fighting and the potential divorce looming on the horizon, his disenchantment and growing cynicism with his own religion, or even the overwhelming week that it had been for him, between wetting the bed on his first night, not being able to sleep, and avoiding guys like Avery and Henry. Instead, he shrugged and added another aimless line to his project.
Vince nudged him again, "Come on, you can tell me. You making any new friends?"
Jonathan sighed and gave up his endeavor, laying down his brush. "I suppose...David counts as a friend."
"Yeah, I've seen you two hanging out a lot. Everything alright between you two?" Vince asked, tail twitching as he felt he was finally getting somewhere.
Jonathan frowned. "Yeah...he's kinda weird though."
Vince couldn't help but chuckle. "Definitely. That guy is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. He's a good guy though."
"Yeah..." Jonathan nodded uncertainly. He thought about how he'd found his sock under the pup's pillow and how weird and invasive it felt. He tried to forget how he indulged himself in the scents of the pup's underwear and even his own sock. The whole ordeal left a bad taste in his mouth, or perhaps a bad scent in his nose. His image of David was stained, more than when he found out David was gay.
He felt his arm being nudged again. He turned and looked up at his older cousin, who was grinning reassuringly. "Give him a chance, squirt. He's not a bad guy. Sure, he's a little kooky, but really he's just harmless. I think he just has A.D.D. or something."
"I guess...Did you know that David is a..." He looked around cautiously to see if anyone was listening and lowered his voice. "...A gay?"
Vince looked surprised but a grin broke out over his lips and he chuckled, "Yeah. I think just about everyone knows. It's not something people like to talk about but...yeah, it's pretty much not a secret. Why? Does that bother you?"
"No...Well...I don't know..." Jonathan said. "I'm just not sure how I feel about it."
Vince nodded softly, picking up the colored chalice and inspecting his brother's craftwork. "I'm going to tell you what I told David a long while ago. There's nothing wrong with being gay. Most people will tell you differently but God wouldn't make people gay if he didn't love them."
"Then why did God make bad people? Like Hitler or serial killers or stuff?" Jonathan asked, not missing a beat. He'd heard time and time again that God loves all his children and doesn't make mistakes in creating them but sometimes...sometimes he felt like maybe God could have left a few ideas on the backburner.
This seemed to make Vince think a little harder as he fondled the tumbler delicately over his fingers. "I'm sure God loves them too...But I wouldn't compare gay people to tyrants and murderers. If anything, I think God would prefer someone loving another person of the same gender over someone committing genocide, right?"
That seemed to make sense to Jonathan but the logic still bugged him. He wanted to say, 'I guess that depends on which God we're talking about.' The God of 'unconditional' love and forgiveness or the God of jealousy and spite, the one that demanded sacrifice. Both, he imagined, were the same God but they felt almost like two completely separate entities. Bipolar and unpredictable. Just like...
The bull terrier came bounding up to the table excitedly.
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" David said, wagging his little tail eagerly. "Oh, Hey Vince!"
"Sup?" Vince grinned.
"There's gonna be a camping trip on Friday! They're gonna hike up the Ansel Adams Trail to the base of Angel Mountain. You wanna come?" He directed the question at Jonathan.
Jonathan couldn't think of anything he'd rather do than go camping out in the wilderness. Except maybe gouge out his own eyes with a dull stick and immolate himself, of course. Jonathan had personally never been camping in his life but the idea of spending the night sleeping on dirt and rocks, battling insects and pollen, and hiking in the hot sun appealed to him about as much as a series of swift kicks to the groin did.
Jonathan grimaced and made a series of indecisive noises, hoping that stalling would maybe give him a chance to get out of having to actually answer. He knew that simply saying no wouldn't deter the pup from badgering him into going and he also knew that his only choice would inevitably be yes. He knew that there was no getting out of it, at least not with someone like David. What the pup couldn't achieve through persuasion he convinced through annoyance.
Vince piped up, "Yeah, you should definitely go! I think you two will have a blast." The older tabby gave the younger one a cheeky grin, to which the younger one responded with a glowering scowl.
That seemed to be the only answer David needed. His tail whipped audibly back and forth as he bounced on the heels of his feet. "Awesome!" He grinned. "You gonna go too, Vince?"
Vince shook his head, "Nah, I think I'll stick this one out. I think it'll be good bonding time for the both of you." He gave Jonathan a wink. Jonathan kicked at his older cousin under the table.
David shrugged and continued, "But I'll still see you at the Shindig, right?"
"I never miss it," Vince grinned. They pumped fists behind Jonathan's bemused back.
And just like that, the pup was bounding off again. Jonathan watched as he ran up to a couple of his other acquaintances, a raccoon and the pudgy dalmatian boy, and started chatting with them. Even from a distance, Jonathan could see the energy and animation in the pup's facial expressions, speech, and body language as he presumably asked them if they were going on the camping expedition as well. Jonathan turned back to Vince, glaring sharply at him. Vince threw up his paws in defense.
"Well sorry for trying to help you to have fun!" Vince said in a high, playful voice.
"I'm not here to have fun!" Jonathan snapped angrily. He glared intensely at the bright and colorful cup. "I'm here to get away from mom and dad..."
Vince's smile faltered. He put his arm reassuringly around the smaller feline's shoulder. "I know. It's going to be alright, guy..."
Jonathan kept his gaze on the cup, his face softened at the sharp edges and his shoulders slumped. He felt a painful swelling in his chest. He wasn't sure if he couldn't breathe because of the lump in his throat or because he was having another emotionally induced asthma attack. He dug the inhaler out of his pocket and took a preemptive blast. It seemed to help. "I think they're gonna get divorced." He added softly.
"I'm sure that's not true," Vince said quietly, still holding on to his little cousin.
"I heard them talking..."
Vince shushed him and rubbed his shoulder. "It's gonna be alright, John. I promise."
Jonathan took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, sniffing wetly.
"Forget about what's going on. Just try to have fun while you're here. They're both grownups. They'll work things out between themselves."
Jonathan nodded. Deep down he knew that things were probably not going to get better, even with his absence.
~~~
David was in his underwear again, crouched down on the wooden floor, the tip of his tail whispering over the floor idly as he packed items into an overnight duffel bag. By then, most everyone in Cabin B was used to the pup's brazen nakedness to the point where no one seemed that bothered by it, or at least did their best not to show their discomfort. In fact, a few of the others had started showing more skin, trying out the underwear-only sleeping technique for themselves.
Jonathan was lying up on his bunk reading, having already packed his clothes and essentials for the next day's hiking trip. They only had to bring a couple changes of clothes, essentials such as toiletries and medication, and whatever they wanted to bring so long as it fit a single bag and didn't encumber them on the hike. Everything else: tents, food, first aid and other items, would be provided by the Leaders of the camp.
David poked his head up over the side of the bed, smiling his eager grin of his. "You exciiiited?" He asked cheerfully.
The feline didn't look up from his book, "I suppose..." He said with a hint of irritation in his voice.
"Do you like camping?" David asked, hoisting himself up and crossing his arms over the mattress. He peered curiously over at what Jonathan was reading.
"Not really," Jonathan replied. He added truthfully, "I've never really been."
The pup grinned wide, "Really? It's so much fun! I think you'll like it!"
Jonathan rolled his eyes internally and thought to himself, 'Yeah, sure I will...'
"Hey," David said, a little bit quieter, "You wanna go to the Rec Room tonight after lights out?" Jonathan saw a little smile curl around the boy's muzzle.
The feline shifted uncomfortably, looking back down to his book. "No...I don't feel like it."
David's pointed ears dropped down dejectedly. "Why not?"
"I just don't feel like it tonight, okay?" Jonathan mumbled.
David was quiet for a moment. Jonathan kept his eyes on his book but he could feel the pup's forlorn eyes boring right into him. "Do you not like me anymore?" David asked softly, sadly.
This struck Jonathan in a way that made him feel both guilty and annoyed. He felt like anybody else who said that it might have been a way to manipulate his emotions. But with David he couldn't tell if he was trying to guilt trip Jonathan into going or if he seriously believed that he didn't like him anymore. Either way, he did feel very impatient with the pup but he still had a conscience and he did feel a pang of sympathy for David.
"No, no, I like you. It's just...I feel weird about it." Jonathan replied, placing his book down.
The pup, still looking quite hurt, tilted his head quizzically. "Weird? Because I'm gay?" He asked. He didn't bother to lower his voice, even though everyone else was in the Cabin packing and chatting. It made Jonathan feel very self-conscious but fortunately no one seemed to have heard them.
"Well...not really that. I just...It's...I don't know." He shifted uncomfortably.
"Oh..." David said softly. A smile lit up his face a little bit. "Well...I'm gonna go down by myself anyway. If you change your mind, you're always welcome to join me. Are we still good for camping? Or do you wanna change tents with somebody else?"
Jonathan looked down into the canine's optimistic eyes. He thought for a second before shrugging his shoulders and giving the pup a little smile. "Sure. I'll go camping with you."
David's whole temperament changed in an instant. His face brightened and his ears picked back up. He could tell that the pup's tail was wagging swiftly. "Awesome! You're so awesome!"
The canine's happiness was contagious. Jonathan couldn't help but smile more at David's radiating joy. He watched as he disappeared back down under the bed to finish packing. Leader Eddie appeared in the doorway and announced, "Lights out in five minutes!"
In that time, Jonathan got up from his bed and double checked to make sure that he had packed everything he needed for the trip. Satisfied that everything was in order, he took off his glasses and set them on top of his duffel bag and crawled back up into bed. Eddie was back minutes later to shut out the lights, amidst the protest of cubs still hastily packing or socializing.
~~~
Jonathan stared off into the hazy darkness, feeling very wide awake and unable to sleep. His body was physically exhausted but his brain was energized and not even close to falling asleep. He wasn't sure how long he'd be able to go without Lunatol. It seemed to be the only way he could tame his brain and have some control over his body. He was considering getting up to take just half a capsule when he heard the pup below him moving about. The bed began to quake and he thought irritably, 'Oh no, he's doing it again...'
But the bed didn't continue to shake. Instead, he heard the canine get up and shuffle his bare paws all the way to the cabin door, which swung open and snapped shut in his trademark exit. He was going to the Rec Room after all.
Jonathan rolled over on his back and looked up at the ceiling. It was a maze of blurry shapes without his glasses on. He rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes and sighed deeply. He was very tempted to get up and follow the pup but he still held reservations towards interacting with him. He couldn't help but fantasize about the canine's stocky, handsome body, his canid sheath and penis, and his broad, smiling face. Between two different resources, one telling him that it was against God to think and act in that way and the other saying that it was perfectly fine, Jonathan was at a crossroads as to what to think and how to feel. He still wasn't certain if he was gay or not and he didn't want to see David naked or paw with him in case that tips the scales in the wrong direction.
He battled back and forth, weighing the pros and cons of joining David in the Rec Room while examining his own feelings towards him. In the end though, his decision was a joint one made by both his brain and his dick.
Jonathan crept quietly out of bed, doing the exact opposite of David by quietly opening the door and closing it back carefully. The door made a tiny click as the latch snapped shut but that was it. Every hair and every fiber in his body braced, looking through the screen door to see if it had woken anyone up. Mostly satisfied, he padded carefully down the dirt path towards the Main Lodge.