Crying from inside
#17 of Dean
This 19 year old Wolf feels left out alone...looks down in regret
Love songs such as "How Long Will I Love You",
Feel good movies,
Good stories or poems...
These are the things that makes me want to cry.
But you won't notice from the outside. Even when I say "No, it's okay, I'm fine!", I'm really lying.
I'm actually crying...
..from the deep parts inside myself.
After reading Aurum's "Confidence", I started to cry again from within.
It felt it was ment for me, like an insult, but not badly ment... you know?
Situations like this... makes me wonder...
Thoughts keeping on passing by like:
"Why am I all alone?"
"Doesn't people love me?"
"Why did I do that?"
And the most common: "I hate myself."
Sure, I love to role play every now and then.
But are there really people, people who I've met throughout the use of the Internet, who actually care about me?
I-I mean, I actually care about their situations.
I know of myself that I'm a good person... but somehow... *sighs* ...it doesn't feel like I did good.
I say sometimes "I love you" to often to the person I'm RP-ing with and they say that they're loving me back, making me a bit warm from inside...
But do they really love me?
I see people getting together, people who are already 'mated' with another, people who are permanently single.
It makes me sad. That's when I start to cry from the inside.
I know what you're thinking:
"Oh, this guy has issues." or
"Oh, another person with the I-don't-want-to-die-alone syndrome."
You're wrong.
I just feel left out alone.
Every night before I finally fall asleep, I keep thinking if someone loves me for me, and not for Dean, Charles or Drake...
I keep on crying.
Sometimes....
...a tear rolls over my cheek.