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Wolverine was sleeping very happily. It was the new timeline, so there weren't any more evil military skanks trying to shake his bones with metallic fervor of madness and hatred. But temporal travel left his mind obtuse, it was too much, so now he slept 20 hours a day. His educational historian schedule was screwed, so Professor Xavier and Jean Grey got very MAD. If an heron stares at the eyes of a man for far too long, it cannot hope to accomplish the rippling thralls of madness, so Wolverine's door was exploded.

"Hey, what the FUCK do you think you're doing you unmolesting diarrhea mudskippers!?" said Wolverine ANGERLY, he did not like to be awaken from his slumber.

"Logan, your misdeeds have accomplished the shadow of the naught!" said an evil and sinister magnetism voice, "You must atone for your sins of misguidance and solispsism!"

And so Wolverine's body was telekinetically lifted.........................MAGNETO!!!!!

"WTFK I DON'T HAVE ADAMANTIUM SKELETON ANYMORE!?"

"Yes, but the bones are made of calcium! Calcium is metal so you are a submissive whore to transience's eminent fate like an evil jaguar destroyed by calamital clams of whoredom and defecation!"

So Magneto transported Logan through the air, and they left the X-Men academy. They went into the forest, where there was a strange shack. Inside that shack was a weird electric machine powered by Uatu. He was strapped to a large metal tube with wires all over his body, with his mouth taped and his penis inside a most distasteful artificial duck cloacal.

"Logan, you must go back in time again! It is the only way to execute my plan for the greater good................ OF MY ASS!!!! HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cockled Magneta with much hatred and misotheism in his commentary.

Before Logan could question Magneto shoved him inside the machine. A large, bumpy, glistening metal rod inserted itself on his anus and hit his prostate, making him orgasm and trigger the electro-chemical response that would send him back in time. He was projected across space and time, millions of years flashing back through his eyes as he ejaculated. He came all over the Pliocene, then the Miocene, then earlier, inseminating the land with demons and other evil dark creatures that caused great misery and violence, wiping out entire species and causing cataracts of madness that cursed every province of the Earth. Humanity never even evolved, the demons captured all the previous primates and constructed hateful sexual machines that raped them to DEATH, their internal organs, bile and shit flooding the oceans and exterminating the phytoplankton with AIDS, killing off all life on Earth. And with each ejaculation, the demons appeared earlier and did that to the antedecent primate species. With Wolverine's last ejaculation, it was the Palaeocene/Eocene boundary, and the victims were the earliest recognisable primates known to man, something akin to Altiatlasius or something. An entire lineage had been exterminated, and it was all WOLVERINE'S FAULT!!!!!

"My God, what have I done!?" cried Wolverine sexily, his tears of ambrosium milk descending upon his bearded sexuality face of davidian woe, before he came crashing on the earth head first.

Wolverine looked around. He was naked, wild and free in pure wilderness never tamed by man. The air was pure, the waters were lustruous and sparkling with joy and lust, the sky was as blue as pure UV radiation from a nuclear power plant. For a moment, Wolverine didn't care about anything, and reveled in his primal beauty.

"Come bathe yourself in our lustre and descartian proclavities!" moaned the waters with much pleasure, and Wolverine jumped into the spring, swimming wildly like an epileptic dolphin.

But unknown to him, another creature swam in the waters of passion and despotism. Ducky was enjoying herself, twiriling and whirling underwater in the likeness of a fish, sorrounded by playful crayfish and water fleas.

"Why, hello there my wonderous crustacean friends of palaeopagan felicity and iridescent cholesterol vibrancy" she said happily, playing and throwing water at the silly crustaceans.

But just then Wolverine dove right next to her, and the water updraft carried her away.......... INTO HIS DICK!!!!!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU SHITTY ORNITHISCHIAN WHY YOU DO THAT!? NOW I SHALL BE RENDERED THE TYRANNICAL KING OF IMPOTENCY AND NEO-CAPITALIST DESPONDENCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh, this does not look good no no no!" cried Ducky, she much disliked being constricted in the dark, musky interior of a masculine penis.

Wolverine got out of the treacherous and hateful deception water, he felt an unbelivable pain in his urethra, blood coming out of his piss hole as Ducky struggled inside. Logan tried to pee, but he found out that the pain was much greater as the searing golden liquid passed through his wounded cannal, and Ducky much disliked being almost choked to death by manly urine, flooding her nostrils and stinging her eyes, now very irritated and red. In a fit of desperation, Logan tried to jerk off, erecting his penis to lust sights of Jean Grey's rotten placenta. Much to his dismay, the resulting constriction only made it more painful for him, his wounded, piss-infected penile walls crushing Ducky's futile feeble body, her bones completly cracked to smithereens and her internal organs expelled from her torso, her triturated lungs, heart, trachea and esophagus being barfed out of her mouth, her pulverised brains and eyes erupting from her eye sockets and nostrils, her ripped bowels ejected from her cloaca. Gallons upon gallons of putrid, cancerous blood flooded into Wolverine's ripped out urethra, alongside Ducky's yellowish bile and oily black turd. Now thanks to his idiotic tomfoolery, Logan had a shit-infused dinosaurian body inside his penis, quickly decaying and infecting his flesh with virulent Streptococcus strands that quickly began to consume his dick, only held at bay by the cancerous tissue rapidly trying to consume his penis too. Necrotic black poop blood began to flow down his crotch, mixed with vile bile-like pus and putrid yellowish semen.

The stench of the decaying man meat attracted the nostril attention of Chomper. The Tyrannosaurus youth is very hungry, he has managed to survive on insects thus far, but his metabolism is finding itself unable to be sustained by mere arthropods of misoginy, he must devour musculature in order to absorb life energy of the blood. So he had been in the Great Valley graveyard devouring corpses, but this particular stench of rotten flesh had a special scent to it, the manliness sexual hormones of the Logan. The lustful hormones could not be evaded by the tyrannosaur supple nostrils of pleasure, and for the first time in his pitiful life Chomper felt the impulses of arousal, his cloca dripping in masculinity yolk-like mucus and exposing his tantalising corkscrew-like penis. So he followed the wonderous red perfume of dionysian qualities, walking down the forest, trampling lucidly madness ferns and hateful lizard arses. But his lustfully wander wasn't left unnoticed, an evil pair of eyes observed him with disgust and despise.

"Just you await Chomper" said a devil and pythagorian voice, "You will pay for your sins of necropholia and rampant lustful anathema behaviour of elegant parietal DEMENTIA!!!!"

"Who said that?" asked Chomper with dignity demystification and mischiveous machiavelian maturation.

But it didn't matter, because he was just a few feet away from the spring. Before him Wolverine was crying in desolation insubordination, undecided between letting the rot spread or cutting off his penis, and crying in pain anyways. But Chomper knew what to do, so he walked to Wolverine and with a single bite he chomped off his penis! The bite was not clear, Wolverine's penile ligaments still connected the phallus to his body, so it took four to five bites to take it off, spreading rotten blood and Ducky's bones everywhere, covering Wolverine's pubic hair crotch and fine legs. Logan screamed in pain as the dinosaur hastily bit off his genitalic item of grandness, but he looked at those beautiful red eyes, full of passionate hunger of a lover's soft caress, and he could not stay mad. So, he beared the pregnancy of the pain, and was reward with a final bite that removed the cancerous organ from his body.

"Mmmm, that was delicious great mammal of condolences!" moaned Chomper with much lust and exhibition in his voice, staring at the beautiful, yet castrated, man body of the Wolverine.

Where Logan's penis used to be was now a massive red, pulsing bleeding hole, from which oozed purplish infected blood and precum with much pleasure. Wolverine's pubic masculinity sweat tainted the hole, and even though the tissue was regenerating, mats upon mats of bacteria and fungi began to cover the wounded flesh like mutant smegma. Chomper was much aroused, so he sniffed at it and extended his tongue, licking the infected swamp hole with much pleasantry and emancipation. Logan responded with hedonism moans of machairodontine mastication and glory.

"Oh Chomper, your supple tongues frictions very nicely against my masculine uterus!" cried Wolverine like a triturated elephantinely shaped potato under the Moon's disapproving glare.

But the deliciously hotness odoriferous testosterone taste could not satisfy Chomper anymore.... so he rose and embraced the great masculinity dog Wolverine..... and thrust his penis into Logan's putrid manhole! Logan moaned very loudly like a constipated cow of wonders and magnetism, even though his penis was gone numerous nerve endings arrigated the crotch swamp hole, so he felt a LOT of pleasure.

"Oh my love, your emaculation love tunnel of wonders is much slippery in it's Antinous passion of woe!" moaned Chomper with the desires of a ravenous eroticism aorta pike upon whoreful perchs.

"Yes, amore mio, your frictionating madness sensations is much endorfinic in my marshness man vagina of esociforme Aphrodite acts!" moaned Wolverine, french kissing the rotten, decaying Tyrannosaurus teeth with much pleasure, sucking and licking the rotten meat and shit covered banana-shaped teeth like many bony penises.

But suddenly the hatred arrived. Out of the woods came an ugly, evil, devil face..................................CERA!!!!! Yes, Cera had been rejected by Spike's advances, so she became a hateful homophobic poop lady. Plus, in this timeline, since humanity was yet to evolve, Magneto went back in time and promised to give her ten thousand yen if she succeed in destructing Chomper and Wolverine!

"HAW HAW HAW, THOU SHALT ALL PERISH YE HATRED MAGGOT CONNOISSEURS OF A PALAEO-ARIXMETHIAN PAST!!!!!" cackled the evil whore the Cera, her flesh was completly tumourous, full of cancerous bumps and abcesses, the skin ripped off in many areas to expose pulsating green pus covered meat like a verdantly alive zombie, her horn and right eye almost submerged by the rotten flesh and pus, and her cloaca developed a long, hyena pseudo-penis like ovopositor, erected in filthy aeons and trapping in it decades old shit, so it was completly necrotic and putrid, oozing a brown diarrhea muck precum with much pleasure.

"Quick my love, we must orgasm to defeat this despisable pus prep of despicability!" moaned Chomper with much sexuality, licking the strong Wolverine neck of thick, musky sweaet.

So the two lovers kissed, Chomper's powerful tongue licking Logan's wonderous crystalline eye orbs with pleasantry pleasure, the wonderous rhea mouth dong stinging Wolverine's eyes with magnificent rotten saliva full of the remains of his own severed penis, which got righteously stuck in his eyelids with much pleasure. Wolverine was teardely emoted in the overwhelming whims of love, so he came vigorously, ejaculating through his man pussy into Chomper's corkscrew cock, which in turn, too, ejaculated. The two most wonderous essences of the lovers mixed with the purity of their love, forming a powerful burst of carcinogenic pink light like the glow of a thousand red stars. Cera's horrendous flesh was rightfully melted off her bones, the tumourous tissue sliding off in a bloody jelly and exposing her pure white skeleton, destroying the hateful ceratopsian for all eternity, down to the very soul.

"No, you cannot ruinate my devil plan of ages!" shouted the Magneto hologram ghost, he was very angry and hated.

"Not, Magneta, you will PAY for your selfish pericardic sins!" shouted Wolverine with much fervorous passion that made Chomper love him ten thousand times more.

Then the two lovers combined their blast of energy, and opened a portal to hell where Magneto was sucked in and violated by twenty million demons that fucked every single one of his holes, making him their bitch slave until the universe's heat death. With Magneto out of the way, humanity evolved again, and so did mutants.

"Magneto and Chomper, you are the world's true heroes!" said Professor Xavier wisely, "You have defeated the hateful beast metal man the Magneto and his despicable whore servant Cera. Your love has honoured the very bowels of existence, and as such we are eternally grateful for your bravery and compassion.

And so everyone lived together in peace and Chomper and Logan married the next day, while the demon whore Cera and the despisable Magneton suffered chronical anal rupture for all eternity because of the demon violations, boys and girls!