A Servant's Heart, Chapter 3

Story by BlindTiger on SoFurry

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#4 of Heart's Bond Book 1 - Servant's Heart

Meriah learns about her people and also about herself. Things are starting to change for her and she has yet to find what it means.


Chapter 3

The sun was setting over the horizon when Meriah finished sealing the top on the bucket of meat she had just finished seasoning and salting. She stood up, wiped her brow and then carried the bucket with her to the small, inconspicuous machine just off the side of her porch. It stood about the size of her small refrigerator in her cottage, stretching to her shoulders, and it was wide enough that she could climb in which she did on occasion when it needed cleaning. There was already another bucket inside and she stacked the second on top of the first then closed the door, giving it a good thump with her hand to ensure it was closed tightly. Then she poked the button on the front panel that started the machine. By the morning, her meat would be salted and preserved, and she'd be able to take it anywhere.

She smiled at the little conveniences that the Master allowed her to have. In her reading, she learned that before the humans had take to the stars, it had taken months of time to cure meat to the same quality that the machine could in only half a day. It always seemed that the Master knew what she needed and he provided just enough, as if he knew that she didn't want to become dependent on the humans machines. It wasn't the way of the Mrr'tani to be surrounded all the time with the clatter and artificiality of the constructs. Her world was in the trees.

She had put the feelings of earlier out of her head while she worked, concentrating on the tasks that needed to be done before she even considered trying to figure out what was going on. It was easy to let herself be pulled into her work to the point that she didn't need to think about anything beyond the task at hand. It was something that Lyria had taught her when she was still living here. No sense in letting the mind wander all over things that she couldn't do anything about. Much better to put her whole effort into doing what needed to be done.

It was fairly short-lived, though, when she felt the twinge back in the corners of her mind of yet a different mind. This one was very quiet, and she had to concentrate to find it amongst the other thoughts cluttering her head. It was like looking at someone through the wrong end of the Master's telescope, small, quiet and far away. As she focused on it, though, she could feel it getting closer.

It was definitely masculine, and there was a surety about it that she couldn't help but envy. There was no fear hidden in its depths, not even a touch, and the feeling that she got was of someone completely positive that they were who and where they needed to be. This mind was the simplest yet, and it was the strongest. She felt as if she could close her eyes and let that simplicity surround her, washing away the complexity of the world and boiling it down to its very essence.

She smiled as she put it all together. It was James. There wasn't anyone else it could be, not with that feeling. She frowned, though, still wondering why she was feeling yet another of the Mrr'tani. She couldn't help the feeling that something was going terribly wrong, or that someone was playing some sort of immense practical joke on her. But the person that she wanted to talk to about it was coming down her path, she could hear him whistling the same tune that he always did.

With a quick wash of her hands at the well, she walked into the house to collect the tray for dinner and she brought it out to the small table that she set up outside near her pens. She liked to be close to her animals, and she knew that James wouldn't mind in the slightest. Out of all the others that ever came to her cottage, he was the one that was the most like her, or at least the one that didn't complain about anything. After tasting his mind in hers, she was starting to realize why that was.

"Ho, Meriah!" James called when he was close enough to the gate.

"Ho, James," Meriah called back, beckoning him around to join her.

He smiled his usual good-natured smile and let himself in the gate and followed her around to the pens. She watched him for a moment before she turned to lead the way to the table. His stride reflected the same confidence that she felt in his mind, and though she had a habit of constantly looking around and being aware of his surroundings, James' focus was eerily intense, especially as it was focused on her.

"Looks like I'm just in time," James said, seeing the spread on the table.

Meriah flushed and nodded her head, looking over the table herself. It wasn't anything fancy, but she'd put together a couple of rations and stretched them out with some of the last of the hare she'd shot the day before and piled high on both sides of the table were vegetables from her modest little garden.

"Come, sit," Meriah said, trying to cover her bashful display at the lack of anything special on the table.

"Don't mind if I do."

James took the invitation and sat himself in the larger of the two chairs, an old habit developed over many visits between him and Meriah. Meriah took her own seat and pulled the bottle of mead up from where she'd hidden it behind a table leg.

"Ah!" James remarked with a smile, "I was hoping you weren't lying to me. The Master's mead is some of the best in the system."

"That's what they keep telling me, but I've never had any from anywhere else. The Master doesn't import it."

"Well why would he, when he's got the best stuff right here?"

Meriah laughed and shrugged. "Point."

She poured the mead as James' eyes wandered over the pens and the animals contained within.

"Looks like that hog there's getting to be about ripe for some meat."

Meriah nodded and surveyed the large pig happily wallowing in her pen. Her life was getting on and if she wanted to have any decent meat from her, the butcher's block wasn't too far off. She felt the familiar stab of discomfort at the thought of taking a life, something that always came whenever she thought about it, but this evening, it was stronger than usual and she thought back to the dream in which she'd switched places with both the field rat and the S'cree. She was feeling other Mrr'tani, but the first thoughts about her gift were about the animal that she'd killed just before.

"What's got your tail, girl?" James asked.

Meriah shook her head and capped the bottle of mead when she was finished pouring, setting it aside for later. She wasn't going to have more than the one glass, since she had to hunt and she needed a clear head when she was out, but she would give James all that he wanted and she was already planning on sending the bottle home with him.

"After dinner, James. It's been a very strange day, and right now, I want to enjoy some dinner with my friend."

"Fair enough," he replied with a smile, reaching out his big hand to wrap around the full stein of mead.

Meriah watched with a grin as he sampled it. He always had a peculiar way of it, taking a very small sip and swirling it around his mouth a couple times. Then he took a greedy gulp from the glass and set it down with an explosive sigh.

"The Master's outdone himself this time. Is that apple I taste?"

Meriah shrugged.

"You're the mead expert, James. I only drink the stuff when the Master leaves it for me."

Now that she thought about it, the Master always seemed to leave her a bottle either right before or right after she'd invited James to dinner. She smiled at the realization. It wouldn't do for him to have too many favorites. Everyone beneath the dome knew that the Master favored Meriah, it was rather expected as she'd been here since she was a kit, and the Master had almost raised her. The Master also didn't have any children of his own, and one of the persistent rumors going around the dome since she could understand words was that the Master considered her as a surrogate daughter.

While he could get away with that with her, she also knew the opinion of some of the Master's human visitors about the station of the Mrr'tani when it came to social interactions. They would have questioned him if he showed too much generosity to his servants, so he was apparently making it a point to deliver his gifts in a more acceptable manner. It had just taken her that long to figure it out.

Dinner, while not fancy, was tasty. It was made all the more so with the addition of the hare. She'd put her own blend of spices on the meat and seared it over the open flame of her stove and she couldn't have been happier with the way that it turned out. Soon, James was leaning back in his chair with the empty dishes piled in front of him. Meriah always served herself much less than James, and there was nothing to go to waste on either side.

"All right, kit, tell me," James said, grinning across the table at her. "Something's obviously got you all riled. I haven't seen you on edge like this since that bearcat chased you home."

Meriah laughed, remembering the same event where she'd angered a bearcat, one of the most aggressive and mean-tempered predators in the dome. It had chased her home and it took her, Lyria, James and two other laborers to bring it down. She'd been almost afraid to go into the woods for a week after that. Now she could taste the curiosity in James' mind as his kind green eyes regarded her from across the table.

"What do you know of us, James?" Meriah asked.

"Of us? You mean the people on the estate?"

"No, of us. Of the Mrr'tani. You're older than me, so you must know something."

James looked levelly at her for a moment before he answered, and his mind changed from curiosity to something very different. She could tell by the feeling there that he was trying to figure things out, and at the same time, trying to figure out how much to tell her.

"You do know something," Meriah said. It wasn't a question.

The only sign from James was a raised brow and a flick of an ear, but Meriah felt the spike in his feelings. Surprise, shock, and a little bit of guilt.

"Why are you so sure, kit?" James asked. His voice was cautious and guarded and she couldn't help but wonder why.

"I want to know about gifts," Meriah said. She raised her eyes to James' and looked full into his. "And about Mothers."

For the first time, she saw James physically react, moving in his chair as if to relieve an itch or get more comfortable. She might have put it off to him settling in, but the feelings were perfectly clear in the back of her mind. They drowned out her own curiosity and stubbornness. The shock was plain, as was the inquisitive feeling.

"There's no use in playing dumb with you, is there?" James asked. Meriah didn't answer because she knew it wasn't something that required an answer.

"Can you feel me right now, Meriah?"

Meriah considered for a second, and then nodded slowly. She could feel her heart beating quicker at the admission, the first time she'd admitted to anyone that there was anything different about her.

"Just me, or have you felt others?"

"It was Jacques at first," Meriah admitted, reaching out to play with the small pile of hare bones on her plate.

James' eyes widened and then they narrowed beneath a furrowed brow. "I knew the Master didn't bring him in to be a manservant. He's likely a tracker, then."

"He said that he had the gift but it was weaker in males."

"He's right. How much do you know about the Mrr'tani, Meriah?"

"Very little. Just what I've read in the Master's books."

"Those books are nothing, Meriah. History written by the winners. The humans think we're nothing more than backwards savages, stuck in some era they left behind long ago."

"If they're not right, then how do we know where we came from?" Meriah asked with a frown.

"The Mothers used to pass down our history. They were the keepers of our tales and they were the glue that held us all together. It's been hundreds of years since the humans came and scattered us, so all we have left are the stories that some of us pass down. I'm surprised that you haven't heard them yet."

"Lyria used to tell me stories when I was falling asleep, but I don't remember them very well. I don't know if they were about us or not."

"You were young. Probably too young to really understand," James said, finishing the rest of his mead.

Meriah reached under the table and poured another glass for him, then set the bottle on the table within easy reach.

"All right, sit back and I'll tell you a little story."

Meriah smiled and made herself comfortable in the chair, letting the sounds of the coming night surround her. A quiet breeze blew the scent of jasmine around from the front of her cottage.

"Back before any of us could remember, the Mrr'tani lived on a single planet, Mss'delai. It's said that it was a perfect society. There was no war, no hunger, no poverty. We were all our own person, but every Mrr'tani lived to assist the whole. Every Mrr'tani had their own life, their own home, their own clan and their own family, and most were happy to give what they could to each other.

Every clan had a Mother. Back then, the Mothers were a little more common and they happened about once every generation. They were born with the gift to link other Mrr'tani. It was through them that the tribes and the clans maintained harmony. They could feel the others around them, see into their hearts and their minds."

"You mean that they could control others?" Meriah asked.

"No," James answered, "they didn't control anyone, they simply looked into another and saw what was in their mind or their heart. They could tell when someone was lying or when there was ill intent in their heart. Imagine trying to steal from another, or harboring the desire to kill another, and having someone that could feel that in you."

"So they punished the people that committed crimes?"

"No, they weren't about punishment. They could feel all of their clan, and they knew when someone was hurting or when someone was having a problem, and the way that the Mrr'tani were, there would always be someone who could help them. Evil is built from suffering, Meriah. It doesn't usually just happen that someone is evil. They're always suffering in some way, and that leads them to do whatever they need to do to feel better. The Mothers, they saw that suffering, they felt it in a very real way in all of the clans, and they made certain to do something about it when it was still merely suffering, before it had the chance to blossom into evil."

"You said that every generation had a Mother. Is it hereditary? Was my mother a Mother?" Meriah asked, suddenly very curious.

James shook his head. "No. Mothers could never pass on their gifts. A Mother of a clan couldn't have children. They were always sterile."

Meriah nodded, still curious about her own mother. She'd wondered about her off and on throughout her life, though she'd never known either of her parents. "What happened?" she asked.

"Humans happened, Meriah. One day, one of their star ships landed on the Mrr'tani world. They were strange and new, and at first everyone welcomed them as they would another of their own kind. The Mrr'tani had never had to worry about another that a Mother hadn't already felt. But these humans were new, and the Mothers couldn't feel them. It was like a disease. Little by little, the human way of thinking and doing worked its way into our clans, turning the Mrr'tani against one another. The humans couldn't understand the link that our people had with each other. They looked at our society and they couldn't imagine that we were happy and healthy. They saw the world through one set of eyes, like we do now, instead of the multiple that we used to have.

The Mothers began to realize what was happening and the danger that it held, but they realized too late. The humans had studied the clans and they knew about the Mothers. Only when they knew what they were dealing with did they make their true intentions clear."

"The night of blood," Meriah muttered. Her eyes widened as she realized that she'd just said the words aloud. She didn't even know where the words came from, but she could feel some deep recognition in her mind. It was a realization that held nothing but dread and hatred and she could feel her heart beating faster and her hands clenching into fists on her lap. She closed her eyes and for a moment, she could hear screams and feel the licking of flames on her face.

And then it was gone, leaving her to unclench her fists and rub at the small pinpricks where her claws had dug into her palms. When she looked back across the table, James' face showed his concern and he leaned forward, bracing his arms on his knees.

"Yes, the night of blood," he said, eying her curiously.

"Tell me," Meriah demanded.

"Mrr'tani collaborators worked with some of the humans. Some of them wanted their technology, some of them craved wealth, some power. Some thought that the humans had the means to help them live forever, and still others were told that the humans could make them like the Mothers. Whatever their reasons, they singled out every Mother of every clan, even the kits. In one single night, the humans slaughtered every last living Mother."

The hatred came welling up again from the deepest corner of Meriah's mind and she had to fight to keep it down. She could feel her lips moving back from her teeth, baring her fangs in a savage snarl while she shuddered with the overwhelming, all-consuming nature of the pure, black rage.

"Meriah," James called.

She couldn't respond. The feeling was pushing its way to the front of her mind, threatening to take her over, and for the first time that she could remember, she wanted to just lay back and let it happen. The story was too shocking. Humans, doing that to her people? Humans like the Master? Her own kept trying to sort it out while the other mind, the one that was blind with rage and fury fought to get to the front.

Then there was the feeling of James, still there in the back of her mind, and as she stared out her eyes across the table, almost like looking through another's eyes, she could see his intense stare. And with that stare came an increase in the feeling that she could feel from him. It pushed its way into the darkness, and where it touched, her mind stilled. Little by little, he pushed back the rage and the hate until it was only her and him in her mind.

"What happened?" she asked quietly. She could barely get the words out, and when she did, it didn't feel like it was her speaking. Her voice sounded alien.

"I'll answer you, Meriah, but first you have to tell me what you heard from Jacques."

Meriah felt the intensity both from his gaze and in her mind. There would be no moving him from this request, she realized. She wrestled with herself about how much to tell him, or whether she wanted to involve him with whatever was going on.

"Tell me everything, Meriah," he said. "I know you're waffling, girl."

"How do you know?" Meriah asked.

"Because I was a tracker, Meriah."

Behind those words, Meriah could taste the truth of what he was saying, but even beyond that was a guilt and a remorse so deep that she couldn't do more than just scratch the surface. None of that showed in his face, however, it was still just the intense gaze that he hadn't deviated from when he'd pushed away the rage.

"I don't understand," she said. "What is a tracker?"

"My question first, Meriah," James demanded.

Meriah sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to get anywhere further without answering his question. She could feel the steel resolve that wasn't present before.

"Jacques told the Master that I have the gift, and that he wasn't sure if I was a Mother." Meriah's voice was quiet and she watched James across the table. He didn't move, but the intensity in his eyes dimmed just a little. "I didn't know what it meant. I still don't understand. How could I be a Mother? I'm just Meriah."

"No one is 'just' anything, Meriah," James said. He sat back in his chair and sipped his mead while he thought and Meriah could feel the line moving through his thoughts. More than anyone else, she could feel him the most. It was almost like she could reach down and find the thread of his thoughts, so different than her own, and look at what it was saying. Almost, but not quite, like listening through an ocean or reading through the bottom of a translucent bottle. She knew something was there, but she couldn't bring it into focus, and she couldn't quite understand it.

"What are you saying, James? That I'm some...some goddess or great leader or something?"

James smiled across at her and shook his head. "No, Meriah. I'm saying that you very well may be a young Mother. I can feel it in you, that gift. And I know you can feel me there."

Meriah nodded. "You're not the only one. I could feel Jacques and then I could feel Rose. But you're the clearest."

"Some of it has to do with trust, Meriah. The ones that you trust the most will be the ones that you can feel the strongest. At least right now." James furrowed his brow and leaned forward over the table, catching her eyes with his. "What I don't understand is why I didn't feel it before. Even now, it's hard to hold on to you."

Meriah still felt a thousand questions lingering in her mind, just begging to be asked. There was so much that she didn't know, that she didn't understand, but there was one that stuck out in her mind that she had to know the answer to.

"What did you mean that you used to be a tracker, James? What does that mean?"

Meriah felt another stab of guilt and pain in the part of her mind that she now recognized was James. It was sharp and immediate, and for only an instant, she felt that there might be no end to it. But as quick as she felt it, it was blocked off from her.

"There's a reason that the Mrr'tani haven't come together again since the night of blood, Meriah. The humans don't completely understand what it is that makes the Mothers who and what they are, but they do know that having them around is dangerous. For a hundred years after that night, there were uprisings. Mrr'tani banded together around young Mothers that were just coming into their gifts and they fought against the humans. Eventually the humans found out what was happening, and now they find any Mrr'tani female that could possibly be a mother."

"What do you mean, they find them?"

"I mean the trackers. They find the young Mothers and they deliver them to the humans. Usually it's to their owners, but sometimes they take them to the council."

"The council? What happens to them?"

"If they're young enough when they're found, the tracker points them out to their owner," James paused, hesitating in his description. "The owner kills them."

Meriah's eyes widened and she forced herself back in the chair, not wanting to believe a word that James was saying, but the feeling that she got from him was too real, too full of truth for her to doubt it. She felt her fingers on her lips before she realized she'd even moved her hand. There was a sick feeling in the very bottom of her stomach and she swallowed reflexively to keep gorge down that was rising in her throat.

"The older ones were delivered to the council. I never knew what happened to them, not for sure, but I heard a lot of stories. The owners were much kinder than the council."

Meriah didn't want to think about what the human council might be doing to Mrr'tani girls that would make death at their owners hands seem kinder by comparison. And then her thoughts came back around.

"Wait, you said that Jacques was a tracker? But he told the Master that I'm..." she cut off as everything started to sink in. "The Master."

"He's a good man, Meriah. He wouldn't have brought Jacques here if he meant to hurt you. The humans don't like him because he's been one of the voices of reason against the council, and he's one of the more powerful humans, otherwise they would never have tolerated what he believes. I don't know what he's doing bringing that old notcher here, but he must have some kind of play."

Meriah tried to see the reasoning in James' belief, twisting her fingers together just to feel something that connected her to the world, to where she was before this conversation even started.

"Jacques said that he couldn't feel a trace of me when he was trying and that he thought I was a Mother because of how I acted around him. Do you think that I'm not? Maybe I just have a little of the gift like you do." She tried to keep the desperation out of her voice, trying to find any reason that would explain what was going on without being in danger of her life.

James shook his head. "No, Meriah. I can feel you plainly. If I was still a tracker, I'd have already given you up."

"But you're not, right?" Meriah asked, curiosity tinging her voice.

"No. Never again. Too many Mrr'tani have died because of me, too many children. I was going to run, was going to find a way to get away, but the Master bought me right before I could. I think my old owner sensed that I wasn't going to be doing my duty any longer. It's easier for the humans to sell a troublesome Mrr'tani than to deal with them, and they probably figured that they could fob me off on the Master and when I ran, he'd end up embarrassed about it.

They didn't know that the day after he bought me, he sat me down and told me that I wasn't ever going to have to track again. That I could be my own person."

Meriah nodded, realizing now why he chose to live in the lean-to away from the others. She was starting to feel what it was like to have others in her head all the time when she was close enough and she was starting to thank the spirits that she had her own little cottage all the way away from anyone.

"But if you can feel me, then why couldn't Jacques?" she asked.

"Like I said, you're hard to hold on to, even now that I know what you feel like. Usually, I can pulls someone's thread easy as anything, but yours are woven tight. The only reason that I can feel you right now is because of how strongly you're tugging at my threads."

It was like a switch, and in her mind, she dropped the little stream of thought that was James, her mind leaping away from it as if it was burning hot. Her face flushed and she lowered her eyes, feeling as if he'd caught her at something naughty.

"And now you're gone. But you can still feel me, can't you?"

Meriah nodded. It was more subtle and back to what it had been over the last two days, just barely there on the edge of her consciousness.

"Yes, but you're just barely there."

"Good," James said. "That means that you can still start drawing others together without showing yourself to be what you are."

James leaned across the table and gently took hold of her chin in his massive hand.

"Listen to me, Meriah, and listen good. You can't ever tell anyone what is happening. You can't trust anyone. Not Rose, not the Master, and certainly not the Mistress. No one can know. You are the only Mother that I've ever seen that can hide as you can right now. If the council finds you and knows what you are, they'll poke and prod and they'll cut you open to find out how you're doing what you're doing. Do you understand?"

Meriah could only nod, not able to find even a single word to say in return.

James held her eyes for a moment longer and then his eyes wandered over her shoulder to the horizon where the sun was finally shedding its last rays of light before the edge of the world swallowed it.

"Good. Now, you have hunting to do. And so do I. I'm going to find out what that old bottle-brush is up to." James smiled at her and moved his hand to her cheek to cup his palm gently against her face. "I'll make sure you're safe, Meriah. You just keep your head down and do what you usually do. We'll talk again in a few days. Best thing to do is just put it out of your mind for right now."

She frowned. Put it out of her mind? There were so many things that she wanted to ask, so much that she needed to know, but none of it was coming, and James wasn't going to be staying around to discuss it with her. Still, she wasn't the innocent kit that she was when Lyria had taken her in to teach her. She had plenty of experience in doing what needed to be done, and now that she thought about it, there were plenty of times when she didn't go near the main estate for days at a time. Surely, she could stretch out a hunt long enough that she didn't need to see the Master or his manservant for at least a week.

"Okay, James. I have three more nights of hunting, and I have enough salt for a while, but the Mistress will be suspicious if I don't come to the main house for supplies soon. I can probably be gone seven days before someone thinks to come and look for me."

"Then I'll have to make sure that I know what's going on before those seven days," James said, standing and finishing off the rest of the mead straight from the bottle. "In the meantime, I'll make sure Jacques leaves you alone. I've got a few tricks to keeping a manservant busy, especially with everything the Master wants us building over the next few weeks."

Meriah nodded and tried to smile at James. It wouldn't come at first until she saw his big, good-natured smile beaming back at her. His mind in the back of hers was full of calm and confident energy. He knew that they could do whatever they needed to do, and he was sharing that feeling with her. Feeling that with her own mind, it made her feel a little better. She couldn't help but feel that confidence and not be infected by it. The strained smile on her face broadened with the feeling and he nodded in satisfaction. Then he turned and let himself out the gate.

Meriah watched him go, and then collected the dishes to take them into the house. She still had to clean up and leave them for Rebecca before she gathered her things to go hunting. It was shaping up to be one interesting night.