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Everyone Does It: The Fun in Funeral

Dan sat quietly in his car.

Rex placed his arm on Dan's neck and nuzzled the older buck, "Come on, we gotta go."

Dan kissed his young lover. "Alright, let's do this."

They both got out of the car then walked across the parking lot of the funeral home.

Inside, the director, a middle-aged fennec fox with his two sons at each side met the bucks. The kind old fox kissed the older buck's hand, "You must be the husband of the deceased. I am truly sorry for your loss."

Dan smiled, "Thank you, yes. I'm Dan Fredrickson, Livia's ex-husband actually. We were divorced but, I still loved that woman."

The fox, Takbir nodded respectfully, "Yes now, Mr. Fredrickson, my son, Isam will escort you to the parlor."

Isam, the older of Takbir's son's bowed respectfully to the buck, "Please follow me, sir." And he turned in his fine-pressed white shirt and black vest, then walked on.

Dan followed after while Rex stayed behind.

Takbir smiled at him, "And you sir are?"

"Rex Clinton, I'm a friend of Livia's."

The fox nodded, "I see."

Isam stepped into the parlor, Dan came in right behind him then stopped in his footsteps as soon as he saw Livia's father.

The whitetail buck was in his 50s, turning gray in the fur. He frowned deeply upon seeing his former son-in-law.

Isam sensed the tension and stepped away in time to miss the fist which flew straight past his head and into Dan's face.

Dan fell as blood spew from his nose and as the old buck stood over him, "Ya got a lotta nerve showin' up here after what ya did to mah baby girl!"

Dan avoided eye contact with Livia's father, "I know, I shouldn't be here, but I'm here anyway. I neglected her, wasn't there when she needed me, at the very least I could see her off, say my last goodbyes. I don't expect sympathy."

The old buck scoffed, "Sympathy... th' only place you'll find mah sympathy is in a dictionary, between shit and tumor." He was about to kick him but Rex stepped in between.

"That's enough! We're all here for Liv, now let's just keep this civil, you all can go back to hating each other after the service."

The buck rudely pushed the young reindeer, "And who da fuck are you?"

Rex took a breath, "I'm the guy your daughter was with after they separated, so if you wanna blame someone, you can blame me too, cause I'm as much at fault. I'm the one who screamed at her, I'm the one who gave her the heart attack so if you're going to hit someone, hit-" A fist collided with his cheek, interrupting his speech and throwing him into the arms of his lover.

Dan held Rex and Liv's father put two and two together right there. "I see... you're a bigger man for speakin' up like that, but that ain't gonna soften my hate for this worthless boyfriend o' yers now go pay yer respects an' shut up."

Both bucks stood while Isam looked on, Rex looked to Dan, a red fist-shaped mark on his right cheek. "Did he call us gay?"

Dan chuckled, "That's what we are now ain't it?"

Rex shrugged, "Yeah but, that sounded more accepting than I'd expected."

...

Meanwhile, across town, Jesse and Kelly lay in bed together. They had spent the previous night and this morning making love now they cuddled while Jesse rubbed Kelly's belly and felt his unborn twins moving around inside.

Kelly leaned back and she kissed him. "Our babies are gonna be some horny teenagers when they hit high school." She joked.

Jesse laughed, "And you blame me when you're lying there just looking so sexy?"

She saw the time on her clock, "Almost time for my shift..."

She pushed herself up while Jesse held her, "Do you need help getting ready?"

Kelly scoffed, "Please, I'm a big girl, I can get dressed by myself, but thank you for caring." She smiled sweetly back at him.

They kissed then she got up.

...

Taylor was already at the bar. He stood behind the bar cleaning glasses and wiping the counter when he heard the door open, "Hello and welcome to Tail Twisters..." He looked up and blinked, "Vlady?"

The little fruit bat smiled as he walked in, "Hi, Tay!"

The rat shook his head to make sure he wasn't dreaming... he wasn't. "Vlad, what brings you here? Aren't you usually fapping to your girls with the big butts right now?"

The bat shrugged, "Eh, the internet's down in our area right now so I figured I'd drop in and see you, hon. I don't normally get to see the man I love at work earning rent for our house and for our food, you do so much and I never feel like I thank you enough."

Taylor grimaced, "You want to meet Kelly don't you?"

The bat blushed, "Am I really that transparent, Tay?"

"Vlad, I know you. You don't drink, you even tell me you can't stand the smell of rubbing alcohol."

The bat sat at the counter, "Yeah, but you've got food here right?"

Tay sighed, "Yeah... what'll you be having, sir?"

The bat kicked his feet like a kid on the bar stool as he looked over the bar menu. "I'll have the hot wings."

Tay wrote that down, "Alright hot wings for my little Hot Wings," he joked, "How hot would you like 'em, Vlady?"

The bat leaned on the counter and licked his fangs, "You know how I like it, Baby."

Taylor laughed, enjoying the banter, though he tried to stay as professional as possible. "Alright, that's the Inferno Wings, and that's gonna be 6 dollars."

The bat nodded and happily took out a crisp five dollar bill and a couple ones then handed the money to his bartender boyfriend.

Tay took the money, put it in the cash register, then gave Vlad the proper change. He called through the window separating the kitchen from the bar, "Hey Mike! We got out first order of the night! Inferno Wings!"

The handsome pine marten on the other side called out, "Inferno Wings! Yes, Taylor! Coming right out!"

Taylor smiled when he looked back, "They'll be out as soon as possible, Vlad."

At right about that moment was when Kelly got in.

The pregnant squirrel waved happily to her friend and coworker, "Hey, Taylor!"

The rat smiled, "Hey Kells, how's Jesse?"

She smiled, "He just dropped me off since I can't drive anymore... not for the time being at least. All the winding roads, not good for the kids." She blushed when she noticed a customer had been sitting right there. "Oh, excuse me."

Vlad cracked a smile, "No, no don't excuse me, I'm can't help how I look." He gave her an exaggerated grin that would've fit in a mental asylum.

Taylor rolled his eyes at his love's bad jokes, "Kelly, this is Vladimir."

She blinked, "Oh, Vlad?"

He nodded, "The one and only, when I kept hearing from my Tay about this cute little squirrely girl, I just had to see for myself. I'm pleased to finally meet you."

Kelly looked up as she was checking in, "You tell your boyfriend about your flings, Taylor?" She teased.

Taylor laughed uncomfortably, "Oh, you're on the Taylor Tease Train now, Kelly? And yes, I tell Vladimir everything. I love him."

"And I love him." Vlad beamed.

"And we're always honest with each other, even if one of us slips up, we don't keep any secrets from each other."

Kelly smiled, "That's nice. Maybe I should try that with Jesse. If I could be honest... I'm a little... oh what's the word? Bicurious, is that it?"

Tay blinked, "Oh really? Little squirrely girly wants to fiddle with the other girlies, uh?"

She blushed, "Yeah... I love Jesse, but there's still a part of me that wants that little bit of extra fun. Does that make me a bad person?"

Vlad piped up, "Bad's all relative, it depends really. What's your Jesse like?"

Kelly wiped a glass as she thought, "Oh, he's nice. I love him, I want to make it work with him but, he's still just nice. There's no edge, no surprise with him."

Vlad nodded, "I see, you just want a little more spice in your love life."

"Order up! Inferno Wings!"

Taylor laughed, "Speaking of spice! Thanks Mike!" He shouted to the pine marten in the kitchen before taking the full basket of twelve hot wings in a sauce made from Thai chili peppers for Vlad.

The bat clapped like a kid, "Oh joy!" As soon as he got the wings he picked one right up and quickly stripped it clean to the bones. He swallowed and then hiccupped. "Oh yeah, that's spicy. Mm-mm, that's gonna clear my colon later tonight." He covered his mouth when he realized what he just said right in front of a pretty girl, "Uh, excuse me."

Kelly laughed, "That's okay, I don't mind a little potty mouth." She looked up when she heard the front door open, "Hey there! Have a seat anywhere, Ma'am. I'll be right with you."

The woman who had walked in was none other than Candy, the Latina ferretess. She smiled when Kelly approached her. "Buenos tardes, querida. That baby is coming through fine I see."

Kelly smiled, "Thank you, Candy. Are you going to have your usual tonight?"

The ferret nodded, "sí, querida."

"Alrighty, I'll be right back with your drink." Kelly turned and walked right up to the counter, "Tay!"

He looked up, "Margarita for Candy?"

Kelly smiled again, "Yup."

"Right away!" He mixed the drink quickly and when he was done Kelly took it then gave it to Candy.

The ferret took it happily. "Muchas gracias."

...

Livia's wake had finished and now Dan and Rex nuzzled unabashedly as they sat in the lobby.

Both looked up when the director approached them, "Mr. Fredrickson, if you don't mind I would like your help in deciding the schedule for tomorrow."

He nodded quickly, "Y-yes, lead the way." He kissed Rex, "I'll be right back, Rex."

Takbir quirked an eyebrow at the open affection shown between these two men then jokingly shook his head. Relations in America were vastly different from his boyhood days in Iran.

Rex sat patiently as he awaited his lover's return. He only then noticed someone standing over him. He looked up, "Oh, excuse me, did you need a seat, miss?" He got up politely for the pretty whitetail doe that stood before him.

She shook her head, "Oh no, I'm jus' wonderin'..."

"Wondering?"

Boldly, the doe sidled up to the reindeer and tried to pet him between the antlers. "Wonderin' what a cutie like you is doin' sittin' with no lady company."

Rex gulped with her mere inches from him, "Um... who are you?"

The doe smirked, "I'm Julie, Livia was my sister."

He blinked, "Oh, I didn't know. Um, I'm sorry for your loss."

She shrugged, "We weren't very close. To be honest, she was kind of a fatass. She was always jealous that I had the good looks."

He nodded, feeling blindsided at how blunt and direct she was. Then, he smelled the alcohol on her breath. "You're drunk.

She hugged him, "Ring-ring, I think we have a winner, Alex." She giggled drunkenly before sloppily kissing him right in the mouth.

He pulled away with a blush in his cheeks and boner in his jeans, "Uh, I'm gay, Miss Julie."

She pouted then grabbed his crotch, "That don't feel like gay to me, Rudolph." She further made her point by shoving him into a nearby waiting room and then closing the door.

Before Rex could speak anymore protests, she silenced him with another sloppy drunken kiss. Alas, cervine hormones kicked in then and Rex quickly had her against the wall. He grazed her soft fur on her neck while he felt her young fit ass through the skirt she wore to her big sister's wake.

She maintained some control, however, and pushed him back long enough that she could take off her tie-dyed tank top, exposed her breasts to the horny buck.

Rex followed by taking off his own shirt, almost ripping off the buttons of his work shirt. He pulled her to him again and began dryhumping her.

She bit back the lusty screams when she felt his rough, blue denim jeans pushing against her naked crotch, no longer hidden by her skimpy skirt.

Dan got back at about that time. He first noticed his boyfriend had gone missing, then picked up the scent of a doe in heat, behind the door, next to where he last left Rex. He stepped closer and quite plainly heard Rex's telltale grunts with those of a particularly eager female. He suppressed the laugh before opening the door. What he saw, what he smelled had his cock filling the front of his pants in ten seconds flat.

He got a close-up look of his lover's shapely young ass, healthy balls shaking while he mated like a wild beast with the nude doe beneath him, a doe Dan quickly recognized just from smell alone. He stepped into the small room and closed the door behind him.

That got the attention of the pair in the room. Rex's heart skipped when he saw Dan. "Danny!"

Dan shut him up with a kiss while Julie looked on. He nuzzled his love after the kiss, "It's alright, Rex. I ain't mad. This little she-devil did the same to me on my weddin' day."

Julie blushed at being reminded about that day, that day when she, a mere doe of 18 gave her virginity to this handsome buck that'd just walked in.

Dan moved to the opposite end of the table they'd been using as an impromptu breeding stable. "My antlers ain't even come in yet this year but... I could sure go fer a good ruttin', eh Rex?" He unzipped, dropped his pants and stuck his hard cock right in Julie's face, "An' might I say, Julie. Ya've grown real purty since last I saw ya."

She shot a glare back at him for talking down to her like that.

A well-placed thrust from Rex made her gasp out loud and Dan shut her mouth with his dick.

The bucks looked across to each other and with near identical grins forming on their faces they each fucked their ends of the same doe.

Julie could only brace herself as the tables were so quickly turned on her and she became their living sex doll of the moment, Rex plowing her moist, snapping pussy, Dan feeding her a full buck sausage with a pubic garnish on her muzzle.

The door opened a third time. The funeral director, Takbir, stuck his head in and had to cover his nose from the pungent cervine musk filling the room. "Oh dear!"

The threesome stopped when they heard him.

One minute of awkward silence later he said, "Just clean up when you're done." He shut the door looking like he was about to toss his lunch.

Dan, Rex and Julie each traded glances. Each nodded and both males withdrew to let Julie stand up.

Dan lifted her up, kissed her on the mouth as Rex came in from behind.

The bucks kissed her and they held her. Julie bit her bottom lip when Dan's glans wedged itself inside her moist snatch. She gasped when she felt Rex poke her underneath her tail.

Dan kissed her then whispered in her ear, "Relax."

She nodded, laid her head on his chest then gritted her teeth as Rex pushed up and in her rectum. Then, almost at once, as both males rubbed her shoulders to calm her down, they thrust inside both filling her to the hips and they made her cry out. She was young, seven years younger than her departed sister in fact, she'd never been so full of males. Both were thick, long and it hurt. It was not as bad as she thought, though. It was a dull pain and both Dan and Rex had the common courtesy to let her wait.

After a few moments rest time, Dan withdrew from Julie. He kissed her again and he pushed back in hard, made her gasp into his mouth.

Rex followed suit and started fucking Julie up her tight ass while Dan had her pussy.

The bucks mated their shared doe while her father had just noticed her disappearance.

He asked the funeral director if he'd seen her.

Takbir suppressed his foxy grin before he politely shook his head and told the old buck he hadn't seen the young woman since the services this afternoon.

In the room, Rex and Dan had switched positions again. Dan lay flat across the table with Julie impaled on his cock; his masculine muscle pulsed inside her anus, stretched and moistened from Rex who was back up in her pussy.

Julie lay on top of Dan, her back on his barrel chest and her breasts in Rex's hands. Rex sniffed her tits as he mated with her. He could smell her heat, he knew now if he finished in her, he'd likely be a father. That thought envigorated him and made him pump her faster while he chewed on her nipples.

Dan, on the bottom with a pretty doe on his body and his lover's balls touching his own as they mated, he smelled her heat as soon as he walked in. He was 30 now, he still had time to find someone he could have kids with. Rex deserved this one, though. The reindeer was three years younger, had a good job, not delivering pizzas anymore, but making them himself.

Rex was not so deep in thought, in fact, his brains went on vacation once he had this lovely female in his hands.

Julie's father, Dan's former father-in-law, he came into the lobby and now even he could smell his college-aged daughter's heat, mixed with the smell of bucks... and he knew it wasn't himself.

Rex's eyes rolled back and he let out a loud series of grunts once his climax hit. Potent gooey ropes of his seed exploded into the doe he'd just met not even two hours ago.

Dan felt his lover's balls tense when he came, the middle-aged buck gave out some grunts of his own as he quickened his pace then erupted, flooding Julie's anus with many potential fawns.

Julie was most vocal of the three and screamed her climax, a scream that caught her father's attention to clearly.

The old male opened the door ready to cuss out whatever young idiot had just bedded his baby girl, but found himself speechless and jaw-dropped at the sight before him.

Dan, Rex and Julie all saw him. "Oh..." they started, "Fuck!" He finished.