Midline Shift 48 - Keelah Se'lai
#48 of Chronicles of FinalGamer 24 - Midline Shift
The end of a journey, or at least one part of it. The end of friendships and the beginning of something more. He had almost lost everything for a brief moment of his life. But what else can he reclaim on his journey ahead? Was his past year worth anything? Had he truly made any difference in this galaxy for the better, something large enough for the future to concern itself with? Whatever the case, he does not care for the one thing that mattered to him in this universe is now gone. The anomaly has faded, his friend lost forever and the terrorists escaped. In the end James only learned one thing from these last few months.
That no matter how hard you try, there are some things you cannot change. All you can do in that moment, is to fight to protect those innocent amongst the chaos.
Mass Effect copyrighted to Bioware, FinalGamer to me
Piercing white burned into his retinas, and all he could do was look up. He felt an uncomfortable come creeping from the corner of his mind, the lack of restraints against his body helping somewhat since he was too weak to move regardless. The white eventually formed five circular beams glaring down on him, a strange humming noise emanating from all around him. It was much noisier than the Centurion Eagle had been, but it was a ship engine all the same. A familiar female voice came to him from out of view, echoing faintly from his hearing. "How is he?" "He'll live," said one male voice, "his body is severely malnourished but he's stabilised somewhat, or as best he could under such circumstances. I am just thankful you had levo-protein supplies already stocked or he might not have made it." "It's always best to prepare for anything," said the female, "especially concerning people that need to be rescued. I know it's bothersome but-" "No no I understand, your forward-thinking on the matter is very well appreciated. He will need much more sufficient nutrition once we're back on the fleet." "And his arm?" "That will be dealt with too, if he can cover the costs. Very unusual though, human anatomy but three fingers...will make giving him a new arm much easier if he can afford it." "I hope so doctor...keelah, I can't believe we finally found him." "Most would have given up a month earlier, commander." "I don't like leaving jobs unfinished," said the female voice. "...I just wish we could have been earlier, Dahlael's daughter-" "We managed to save one at least," said the male doctor, "he is deceptively strong, we should be thankful that we saved one." "I know...just...hhhhhh..." "...are you alright, Tali'Zorah?" "Yes, I-...oy...you should have seen the place four days ago, what he did to that krogan I-...part of me wants to know what happened and the other...just wants to put that place far away from me. I know I've seen worse but-" "-you wish you had come sooner?" ".........yes...no, just, never mind, what about the blood tests? You said there was something weird?" "There is," replied the doctor, "there's some sort of strange energy residue inside of it, at first I thought it was agglutination and perhaps there was some improper transfer of blood types but...then I took a nanoresonance image of his blood and...something else showed up." "Wouldn't that just be his nanos?" asked Tali'Zorah. "No, I see those separately through the individual veins they channel through, locked against his blood vessels. Very primitive design, I actually want to suggest maybe some sort of upgrade concerning it." "Why?" "The output is terrible, it just seems so unnecessarily complicated to expend that much power into something so tiny." "That will cost more." "I am just saying, these are all things I must take into consideration if we have to operate for some reason." "Right, but what was this something else in the bloodstream?" "OH, right yes, well this is much more different. It almost appears...I don't want to alarm you but it appears to be similar to the effect of indoctrination, medically." "Wh-...wh-what?! No, no that...there wasn't anything like that there, that's impossible! It can't be possible, I-" "I know, I know but his limbic system is very erratic, and unevenly displaced...especially the septal area, I almost thought a midline shift had occurred within it but thankfully nothing's damaged I don't think. But it does look as if someone's manipulated it." "But...how?!" "I don't...know, that's the thing, but it's certainly not chemical...do you have the records from the Virmire mission you were on with commander Shepard?" "I...think I still do, let me just find them an-" "Leiah..." James slowly mumbled to himself trying to raise his head. He found his strength slowly, seeing he was now in a medical room of some sorts with pale grey walls and a surgeon's table he laid out on, various equipment of cabinets, tables and odd machinery all around him, with three tubes and drips attached all over his body. His voice sounded muffled, seeing his ribs now badly malnourished underneath his bare skin and his abdomen now swollen with distension. A respirator had been placed upon his snout, fully covering it with a makeshift modified version of a breathing mask. Two quarians rushed over to his side, the male doctor fully in red and amber on his left, and the quarian female he had seen before on his right, purple and black with gilded yellow parts. The doctor soothed him cautiously putting him back to sleep stroking his head. "Nononono shhhhhh, just...just go back to sleep." "Leiah...where's Leiah?" "...I'm here."
The quarian female tried to calm him down, holding his hand as she stared down upon him. His mind started flickering between the colours of her suit, switching between illusory blue and the faded purple he could see. "You're...you're purple...oh god he got you too..." "No no I'm here, it's okay James it's...it's okay." "I'm sorry...s'all my fault...I never meant any of this...one...one three seven..." He slowly began to fade away, his eyes closing as he lost consciousness once again, the quarian female panicking slightly. "What? ...w-wait, no don't-" "Shhh leave him," said the doctor. "He's fine now...let him sleep." "But, what was he-" "Ignore it, malnourishment tends to cause cognitive impairment, he'll be fine once we get him treated proper." As his eyes closed, time passed quickly. Reopening them only what felt like a few minutes later, he soon heard more conversation between the quarian crew members. His mouth struggled to speak, but he was too quiet for them to hear as the doctor spoke to a male quarian much more muscular than him, clearly military from his stance and dark brown colours. "The Migrant Fleet have replied, they're preparing for an operation fully on Mr. Campbell." "Really?" said the doctor. "Even his arm?" "An anonymous contributor has given enough to cover the whole operation, they wanted me to tell you that." "Thank you." "Is there anything else, or am I done playing messenger boy?" "Hmhmhm...do you like being called boy?" "Only by you, sir." "Don't call me sir, I'm only twenty years older than you." "I'd call you a few other things Fal..." The taller quarian slowly wrapped an arm around the doctor's shoulders, who shrugged him off and gave a pointing finger as to warn him. "A-a-ah, not when I'm working Kehn!" "Mmmmmhmhmhm...alright...see you when you're done here?" "I just need to make sure that Campbell's sedated easy then I'll join you." "Alright...commander." He turned at hearing the door open and politely bowed to the female quarian James saw before, the turian slightly towering over her as he walked out hastily back to his post. The doctor remained professional as she asked:
"Have you found out what the residue was in his blood?" "It is...not quite what you witnessed on Virmire, that's the good news. The bad news is now I DON'T know what it is." "Huh?" "It almost appears to be like dead blood cells, but different...can't quite explain, they don't appear to be his yet they don't actually affect his body. The energy residue seems...unnatural." "Unnatural how?" "I can't trace the signature of it," replied Zimner. "At least, I don't know WHAT causes it specifically but what's weird is that I've traced the same energy signature from his weapon, that thing inside of his suit." "I still don't understand why he would seal a suit around him whilst having a bladed weapon against him...I mean, I can't see it being useful anyway being so unwieldy and...like...like-" "Like a giant pair of scissors?" "...you said it, not me." "Just...keelah this...this rescue mission got...so weird and I just want him to get back safely...just one of them at least...I don't want it to have been a waste after so many weeks of searching..." The doctor stood closer towards Tali and put a hand upon her shoulder. She looked downwards slightly away from him before speaking once more. "I had to send a message to Mrs. Dahlael." "I'm sorry." "I was never good with words...I hate this." "I could have helped you if you wanted." "N-no. No you, you have important duties here, I have my own to attend to. It's not fair of me to take you from this." "I'm still your subordinate Tali'Zorah, this is your ship. I follow whatever orders you ask of me. You've earned that rank after everything you've been through." "I know...and I appreciate it doctor, but you are far more important to me and the Neema here in your workplace, especially concerning our guest." "Alright. But I do believe that his weapon must be the connection." "You think that it's contaminated with something?" asked Tali. "Possibly, some sort of energy trace both him and the weapon share. It might be something toxic, but whatever effects it has on him I am not certain of." "In that case, it would be best not to touch it, I would like to avoid any danger to this crew on something we don't know about." "Agreed," said the doctor, "I already placed it in the hazardous waste materials along with Mr. Campbell's suit when I took his armour off him. I did not even dare touch it due to the energy tracings I gathered." "Good...oh, he's waking up again." The doctor turned towards his patient as he walked over towards him, shaking his disapprovingly while in a playful manner. "Really Mr. Campbell, you should get some rest and not keep waking up, you're just disturbing yourself-" "Don't." "What?" "D-don't...touch it." "...touch what exactly?" "S-scissors...evil...don't touch...evil..." Zimner looked towards Tali with concern as he nodded, carefully medicating FG with a long syringe injected into a tube to allow him to go back to sleep, pumping through his veins. "I won't touch it, it is safely taken care of. Now go to sleep...you'll see your friends soon after we've had a long good look at you back on the Migrant Fleet. Keelah se'lai."
As his eyes closed once again, he felt days turn longer even within the midst of sleep. The endless dark where time did not exist, flowing beyond his memory as he slowly woke up. The first thing he saw upon awakening was solid green glass. Somewhat transparent, he could only half-see something like a laboratory beyond it, weak yet floating ethereally, submerged within a watery substance. It felt thick and gooey, heavy upon his body as it pumped him full of nutrients, a dozen tubes pumped into his body with a mask upon his snout allowing him to breathe. The tubes rustled within the watery liquid, his hearing muted as he tried listening to the workers beyond the glass. He reached outwards, trying to press his hands against the green glass, confused on why only one hand showed before him. Before he fell back into a deep sleep, the voices blended up together into one chaotic noise of transcendent streams, warping through his head as he subconsciously heard everything. His eyes would open sometimes, faces and shadows passing by that never noticed him awake. He almost felt like he was a ghost truly, and that no one was aware of him. Days and months passed by interspersed with brief moments of awakening, words of both fear and sorrow, joy and hatred from those he knew. "Is he going to be okay?" "Hopefully, he's had enough time to let the shock pass-"
"-the operation, which will correct some problems he is having." "-and if it doesn't?" "Well it won't HELP him that's for sure, but at the very least it might stabilise hi-"
"-can he hear us?" "Probably, it's not easy to tell in this state until the nutrients are fully absorbed back into his sytem." "How did he even survive that lon-"
"-thinking of making a song about you...maybe about Leiah too." "Maybe it's best not to talk about her." "Why? I don't want to forget her, does he wanna forget about her?!" "No one's forgetting her, just let him rest first okay-"
"-verything that's happened I...hhhhhhh...I just can't believe all this happened to us...the fuck did we get into?" "I don't know, but I hope that we get out of this clean as we can...least after all this. I don't wanna do this mercenary stuff anymore." "You know what? Me neither...I think we should just take all our money we've got left, just pay up our debts best we can and just...stick with what we know without any more problems." "Yeah...I want that too. I've been calling mom to get out from Vallum, just to be safe...I don't wanna have to take chances anymo-"
"-not happy with all of this?" "OF COURSE I'M NOT DAMMIT! He almost fucking DIED, and for what?! WHY COULDN'T HE SAVE HER?! HE COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO SAVE HER!" "Calm down you're in a fucking hospital!" "NO, THIS IS MY HOME TURF, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY TO ME, I KNOW WHAT I SAID TO HER! I REMEMBER THE LAST THING I SAID AND I WISH I COULD TAKE IT BA-"
"-is he under?" "Yes...begin the operation." "Are all the parts ready and accounted for?" "Every last one...whoever this guy is, he has some very good friends helping him-"
"-what's happening?!" "He's having a seizure, hold him down, get me the cortisone!" "Why is he reacting!? Everything should be fine why is he reacting?!" "I don't know!" "...wait a minute...wh-wha...what is THAT?!" "The monitors! Why are they...what the hell is that thing?" "I'm...CoMiNG...kzhrzhrrrrSKREEEEEEAAAA-A-A-A-" "TURN THOSE OFF, NOW!" "I CAN'T, THEY'RE NOT RESPONDING!" "WHAT WAS THAT THING?!" "I DON'T KNOW!" "DOCTOR, HIS HEART RATE JUST DROPPED!" "WHAT!?" "He...he's not responding...I can't, I can't feel his heartbeat doctor, I think he's-" "No...no this, this can't be, he was fine a moment ago he was just fine nothing could have dropped it so fas-KEELAH!" "HE'S SEIZING AGAIN!" "Wh-what...what is...I-i-i-" "DOCTOR HELP ME!" "...STRAP HIM DOWN! FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST STRAP HIM DOWN-AAAAAAAAGH!"
"-this one considers you...fortunate." He woke up once more, the mask remained on his face hooked firmly to an oxygen tank at his bedside. Three things he noted were different. Firstly, he was no longer in a green glass tube floating within nutrients despite three tubes still pumping into his body. Secondly, his arm had now returned to him, yet feeling an odd numbness cover the entire length of it like cold oil did not help exactly. Even without that feeling he knew somehow it wasn't the same as his original arm was. He had three claws still, and it was brown-scaled like his other arm was. But somehow it looked weirdly unnatural, almost synthetic even. The left side of it facing outwards looked just like his skin always had been, smooth and pebbled brown. But on the opposite side of the arm facing in towards his body, he had an entire network of wormlike sinew and wires more faintly seen underneath his own flesh. All of them coiled their way up through towards the shoulder, where a round indentation was seen beneath the surface. He tried tapping it softly, not feeling actual bone but something much more artificial despite feeling a very dull sensation against his body. Were he able to see the back of his own head, he would see that the slithering dark length beneath his skin had continued up towards the back of his skull, nestling along his spine and probing deep within the central processing unit that had been a part of him since it all started. His back also showed a much more diverse length of sinew, now branching from his spine and neatly coiling down towards his other shoulder, twisting back into his right arm much more naturally than that of his left. A voice came to him from his left coldly, saying: "If this one had a throat, it would be clearing it much more direct for your attention." "H-huh?" He appeared to be in some sort of infirmary, despite the dilapidated-looking state of what appeared to be a cargo bay hangar, or at least a side area of it. Wires coiled from the metallic ceiling, the beds of white and grey all empty except for him. There were efforts to lighten up the place, colours of white pastels that failed to remove the fact he was on some sort of ship, an industrial one too by the look of it. He looked towards where the voice had been, seeing a strange creature approach. A hanar. One whose voice of mild threat brought unease to him. "Considering you made yourself as easy to find as a metallic threading implement within a large convoluted stack of dried grass for livestock, this one said that you were fortunate not to be dead." "...wait...you...oh god it's you." "Yes." "...you're not as tall as I thought you were." The hanar glowered with a threatening dark blue hinting near towards black as it hovered closer towards him, tentacles almost reaching out towards FG. "You are just as stupid as I imagined you to be." "Hhhheh...wh-what...where am I? What is this place?" "You are now in an infirmary upon the Migrant Fleet. The quarians picked up a distress signal from the Centurion Eagle when you were attacked, and in turn found you...two months later." "T-two...months?" "Yes," said Arutulelan. "Forty days to be precise, so it is more a month-and-a-half. Had we been a week later, you would surely have perished from starvation. Your body was rather...fascinating to the quarian doctors...very similar to a human's. Did you know that if a human loses thirty percent of its own body weight, they would immediately perish from the starvation? The only thing that saved you was the fact that you were in a place far too cold for disease to come finish you." "H-how...did you find me?" "The signal was hard to trace due to the scrambler Facinus placed upon the planet, but with enough resources and pleas from your friends, this one was convinced enough to use his financial efforts to do so." "Friends?! ...w-wait...did all of them survive too?" "Yes. Thankfully, the Sole Calibrators are not dead yet. I made certain of that." "Holy...fffffuck." He laid back against the bed sighing with relief. "Hohhhh thank god...I...I almost didn't think anyone else survived I...I just...my arm...oh god my arm. How...how much...did I cost?" "That is your friends' concern now, not yours." "My...my arm...what'd they do to it?" "The quarians on this ship are most skilled with the repairing of limbs and amputations. Your arm is of a biotic origin, Geth-based to be precise." "Geth? ...but...I can't feel it." "Your body will take some time to become accustomed to its new wiring. This one does not even have arms so it would not know such a feeling." "F-fuck...they...h-hoh god...I...I can't...are you serious?"
He softly clutched at his left arm as it dawned upon him, completely remade into some strange cybernetic aberration, one he had indeed seen before on those of the Geth. But to them it fit perfectly, upon him he felt more a Frankenstein creation rather than complete again. He could barely move it, his fingers twitching softly now no longer organic claws, but something else entirely. It felt cold and dead, just like his first arm felt back in his grasp, cradling it upon the icy floor. The shock began settling in once more as he started weeping, hugging his arm tightly to himself whilst Tulan spoke simply without caution. "It is...admittedly their best tactic to use." "I...oh god...wh-what...what did they do to me? This...it's not my arm...it's not my arm." "That is a matter of opinion." "I thought...I thought that, they couldn't make them anymore because it was illegal." "Only if they made an intelligent unit. Your arm is not intelligent." "Fuck you...and you're still a fucking jackass I see." "This one still believes that you are ignorant within the ways of fauna, to even consider this one to resemble a domesticated Earth-based equine." "Wha...whatever...did...did everyone else make it in one piece?" "The crew are all accounted for...except Leiah'Dahlael." James' heart sank. Tulan noticed this and floated closer towards him, saying: "Areh survived. It was near-fatal but he survived by his friends' resources. The Neema got to them in time enough to chase away the rest of the Blood Pack hired to kill the rest of the crew, within the day of the assault. ...do not pity yourself." "Wh-what?" "There was no way you could have saved her, even if you had been trained in medical science to survive that long within the sub-zero temperature, she would have perished faster than you." "That doesn't make it any better...stupid blooper." "Insulting this one will not help matters." "Neither does telling me that she was fucking dead no matter what I did." "Do not test this-" "NO, YOU LISTEN-AAARRRRRGH! F-FUUUUUCK!" He tried to pull Tulan in with his false arm but was unused to its own existence that it began twitching from its joint. Screaming from pain as the raptor felt the sudden twitch, he felt a muscular spasm contract near towards his shoulder, almost as if a muscle snapped inside his bicep. He clutched his new arm with the other before speaking through his teeth. "...I...was in that fucking place, for two months. TWO. MONTHS." "Forty days." "I DON'T CARE! I was alone, I had no one to talk to, my best friend in this whole galaxy was FUCKING DEAD and I watched her die no matter what I did, and you think you can just float up to me and tell me to not feel guilty because there was nothing I could DO!? Who the FUCK are you to say anything you fucking piece of SHIT?!" "This one would rather-" "No, THIS ONE does not give a FUCK what you have to say OR what you do! I don't care if you're some kind of mafia agency or whatever, but I have faced fucking far worse than you ever will. Hell, I was RAISED by one worse than you, so don't you DARE fuck me with any bullshit that you wanna offer, because right now I just wanna fucking die." "...is that how you feel?" "I...I dunno...I just...d-dammit." He dropped his left arm as he slowly covered his face, his right hand twitching with emotional fear. "I was alone. No matter where I go, or where I've been to...I never felt alone enough that I would feel it crushing inside me. I couldn't escape, I couldn't run anywhere unless I wanted to be just dead...I couldn't escape...I was robbed of everything I had, I thought I would never get out, never leave, just...just wait for the day to curl up and die and...never see the one I love again. ...I almost hoped no one would find me so that...so that I could keep everyone safe...s-safe from...from me."
He turned away from his guest, weeping to himself with all of his fury gone, his rage turning him too tired to fully be what he wanted it to be. His tears were at first of frustration, then sorrow. He wasn't sure what had hurt him the most. Leiah, or the crippling loneliness. Eventually, Arutulelan spoke softly: "...I am sorry." "Wh-...wh-what?" "I am certain that...you did everything in your potential to keep her alive. It was a noble effort and that you should not be judged for what you tried to do. I analyzed the battle from the evidence within. ...the fact that you survived is remarkable in itself. I cannot help but admire such spirit." "...I don't deserve any of this." "Hmm?" "Why should I have been the one to live? I don't even come from this world, why me and not Leiah, the one who actually lived here, the one who was BORN here? ...why do I fucking deserve to live?" "Because you are determined enough to stay alive. Do not...waste that." "The fuck ever, are you done? Or are you gonna threaten to kill me?" "Yes, we are done. You will not see me again, of that I shall promise you. This favour of finding you and recovering was not on your behalf, but on that of your friends calling in their favours. They are the ones you should be grateful for." "Fine...Areh's alright I hope." "He is," replied Tulan, "thanks to his friend Krungut Jax. He...a lesser creature would have died from the amount of wounds that he possessed just to fight off the invaders that came, forcing them away from Areh...but he kept him safe. Even at the risk of losing a few sensory organs, he kept his friend safe." "...you really care about him don't you?" "Hmm?" "I saw you, talking to him privately before...I heard you say 'take care Areh'...why do you care about him more than the others on that ship?" "...I should be offended, but given your current state it will not affect anything if I tell you." "What's that?" "...he is like a son to me...a son that I wish I could have seen one more time." "Huh?" "A son who I will never forget the words of which he weaved, like that which he said himself. We are all nothing but primordial ash, dancing upon the night wind through our stained memory...the memory of this universe. He was a strange one." "Sounds like a real poet." "He was...a beautiful poet, one of the finest I have known. His name was even inscribed upon the side of Mount Vassla for his...his...achievements...a day I shall never forget." "...what was his name? If I can ask." "...I would rather not say, unless you are planning to honour his memory in some form or another." "I...alright, fair enough I...I won't ask. So what do you see in Areh that reminds him of your own son?" "His odd ways fascinate me. His unusual blend between an inner frustration and an outwards forced humbleness reminds me of my own son plenty. A struggling sense of artistry and self-worth conflicting inside of him, wanting to be more and being thankful every day to even have a talent as profitable as his. Yet so many frustrations he does not want to be frustrated with, his own mind constantly screaming out with each mild small step he takes, slower than the rest of us by force. His struggle to learn slower, yet at the same time faster than others around him. Forever out of pace with the rest of this galaxy." "Wow...you really feel for him huh?" "It is not enough to be rendered insane...yet enough for those around him to call anti-social, much to his own grief. Perhaps...he has the same sort of mind as my son did. Always frustrated. Always trying to keep up with everyone else. Always faltering by his own mistakes, each one of which cause him to trip, to fall...to lose sight of everyone once again...until I lost him forever." "You...you think so?" asked James. "My son was the reason that I became like this...separated from my own people, drifting lost upon the shores of eternity until I realised I must take others beneath my wing. As a hanar, I am weak in body...but my spirit I found had become hardened through years of separation...enough to intimidate others to become my tools of destruction." "Heh...and yet you use those tools to help people. You never sent us out to kill people, not civilians or some shit. Always it was mercs, always a rescue mission, always the good stuff. ...you became a gangster to do good where the police had failed. Like when they failed to save your son."
Tulan softly glimmered with a kind light of warmth, turning a pinkish-blue hue radiating humble peace. James almost equated it to that of a smile hearing him speak: "You understand so quickly...I am impressed." "I know someone who was like you...someone who raised me." "The one who was worse than me?" "...yes. She lost a son too. I think I'm starting to understand you a lot more now Tulan." "...Folly-of-Wind." "Huh?" "That is my soul name. Observes-the-Folly-of-the-Night-Wind. We hanar have a face name for others, and a soul name for those we most trust. Consider that an honour you must never take lightly." "...wow...I...I never realised but...why are you telling me?" "What you have done...to keep those near you alive...your eyes haunted with grief beyond your years...makes you worthy of my respect. Consider it my blessing. This does not change the fact that I must kill you should you ever tell anyone my soul name." "Heh, right...you have my word." "Good. Rest well James. You have earned that at least." "Thanks...I'm...I'm sorry about all of this." "You fought and survived your way through this galaxy...through things that some people would never have escaped. You need not apologise to me. May the...may whoever watch over you, guide you back home safely." "You too...sir." The hanar nodded smoothly before leaving James' sight, the raptor fading away back into sleep before hearing a new voice come about from his left once more. His sense of time felt uneven, as if one day after the other had just passed without knowing, not even certain where he was as he slowly woke up. "Ahhh there you are." The doctor he saw back on the ship was now staring down at him, red and amber of warmest hue as he saw also the purple quarian. He noticed the doctor was limping, something he had not done back on the ship with a new metallic poultice of sorts attached to his leg, smiling half-heartedly towards them asking: "Am I...am I still on the Migrant Fleet?" "Yes," said the doctor, "My name is Dr. Fal'Zimner vas Neema, I was the one that attended you after we discovered you." "Discovered? Heh...make me sound like I was some corpse in an ancient tomb." "I would not put it so morbidly...how are you feeling?" "Better now...I think...this arm feels weird, I had someone talk to me about all the...things that happened." "Really? Who?" "This hanar guy, he uh...knows my friends." "I do not recall any hanar being on this floor...was there anything?" "No," said the female quarian, "not that I know of...what did this hanar say to you?" "Just that I was here on the Migrant Fleet and my arm...got...you guys did that with some geth technology...and that all my friends except Leiah survived." "Oh...well...yes, that's correct. My name is Tali'Zorah vas Neema, I was the one tha-" "Saved me...yeah...I remember you." "Huh?" "I saw that white light, when you guys opened the door...I remember now. Th-thank you."
He felt her smile beneath her mask, nodding politely before she said: "I...I'm sorry about your friend. It was...it must have been difficult and I wish that...that we could have found you sooner." "You know something? ...normally I'd be screaming in your face about everything but...heh, I already said that to the hanar so I'm not gonna say it to you. I'm just...I'm just so tired I...just...just wish that-" "I know...I'm sorry. We...we tried searching for you, your friends on the mercenary team used all their credits to find you or at least gave most of it so we could keep searching. We were thrown off by this...this stupid transmitter that the Blood Pack must have put just to throw us off the trail." "You know who they were?" "Of course. I was the one your pilot was calling to rescue you, we were the envoy sent to escort your friend Areh'Narohl nar Qwib-Qwib back to the fleet for recovery." "Jeez...and after all that you still kept trying to search for me and Leiah?" "Your group made an honour to me and gave credits to the fleet. I offered myself up to lead the search party, me and two other ships." "God...I'm starting to sound more like an expensive waste of time." "No no no no," said Dr. Zimner, "don't think it like that, your friends gave a lot to find you. They also gave enough for us to be able to upgrade you fully." "Wait...what do you mean upgrade me?" "Well, for starters you'll notice that your left arm is back of course, synthetic as best as we could but we've made some modifications. See, we noticed that your nanotechnology was, well...dated, to say the least. So with some donations given to us we managed to reroute your entire nanosystem as well as add our own technology to it, mainly the Nano Capacitor Sinking Gauge." "...it...feels wrong." "I know, it will take some time to get used to." "My skin is like...like it's not my own skin...feels like rubber and shit, like I'm rubbing the inside of a bike or something." "We can only do so much Mr. Campbell. See we had to make sure that your new arm would work perfectly alongside your original and not get rejected by the body, therefore meaning we must perform a few chirality processes in order to make it work. Meaning that we had to mirror your right arm and use it as the basis for your new left, enabling a much better output of your power." "...you lost me after 'original'." "What I mean is that, we opened you up at the back of your head and put in a new unit locking with your old one, the nanoprocessor in your medulla, and by linking the two together, we basically reduced your power output to be more efficient at possibly a sixty-five percent increase in recycling energy." "So...my nanos are...more efficient at things?" "Yes. You won't use as much power, you won't feel drained so often as I'm sure you were with your old wiring, it actually may turn out that your own nanomachines can become STRONGER in their output even, but that's not tested yet. You are indeed a most fascinating individual scientifically." "Yeaaaah I'd...rather not hear you say stuff like that, I'm not your plaything." "I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry." "...s'alright. Just...shit my head hurts." "That must be the sinking gauge starting its sync patterns. Once it gets those down along with your nanoprocessing, things should be alright with you. Until then, just take it easy and hopefully you'll be up walking fit within a month or so. Your body has mostly recovered physically while you were out in recuperation so it's only really your mental wellbeing we must take care of." "I hope so." "How are you feeling right now?" "I feel...I feel like I'm trapped here." "Don't worry," said Tali, "you get used to it." "Heheh...I'm not one to talk am I?" "No...but we'll be letting you off just this once." "What are you, the town sheriff?" "I'm the commander of the Neema, is that close enough for you?" "Heh...yeah. I guess so. Um, is your leg alright doctor?" Fal'Zimner looked at his leg tentatively and shared a look with Tali, swiftly snapping back his gaze towards James saying: "Somewhat, don't worry it...was just a small accident during an operation on another patient. Heh...anaesthetics are a VERY exact science and when you don't put a patient under for long enough they...tend to get excitable." "Ahhh huh...say uh, did you by chance find anything else that was on me, maybe inside my suit?" "That reminds me, interrupted Tali, "we've cleared these through customs and I can now give these back to you. Finally."
She brought out a very familiar-looking sight that James almost weeped at seeing again. Something he thought he would never feel within his fingers after everything that passed, an old leather satchel tanned by the sea. His old pirate's satchel, a little frayed around the edges with marks of burning. But the inside was still safe, the smell of the sea long gone along with the memories that it gave him. But its contents still remained untouched. "...you...y-you...oh my god." "I hope everything is still inside it," said Tali'Zorah, "it was still in your room back on the Centurion Eagle. A fire broke out at one point but I'm sure it's alright still. Don't worry, I did not look inside in case it was private but nothing contaminated's in there so it's okay." "Y-yeah...that's good of you I, just, oh my god I...I thought...I thought I'd lost it." He took it softly from her and placed it right in front of him, quickly opening it with his right hand to look through his various pieces. It was all there, everything was still there where he left it. The bell from Isaac that he quickly stuffed back in, his photo of Koopin which he stared at deeply before nuzzling it with his cheek, the few souvenirs he picked up on Omega and at least one magnetised tool he borrowed from Leiah. He hadn't even realised the pendant was still worn around his neck, sticking through after years of chaos through so many worlds. "Jesus I forgot my pendant was still on me." "We thought it was important," said Dr. Zimner, "we had it removed for the operation but once we cleared that it was not a threat to contamination, we placed it back on you after we were done. It's quite surprising actually that it still remained on you, I thought for sure that the hermetic sealing would have rotted it inside the suit, but I suppose it might be of a unique material. The string we replaced, the stone itself survived the...containment." "Th-thank you...thank you so much this, all of this, is...it's really important to me...hoh god." The feeling overwhelmed him as he struggled not to weep, clutching his satchel tightly to his chest as he gave himself a few minutes before looking back up to them. Even after everything that had happened, his mind frayed and trembling against a grim facade he tried to keep up, he broke down clutching the photograph to him. He cleared his throat sternly despite the oxygen mask on his face, wiping away his tears as Tali'Zorah added: "There's also one more thing for you, a special delivery specifically." She brought forth another item for him, a package wrapped in smooth waterproofed fabric bound together tight with a datapad clasped against it. The raptor did not recognise it, but the quarian explained: "This came for you sometime during your recovery period. We do not know who it is from other than the name on the package, but we cleared it with customs and there is nothing suspicious inside it." "...what's inside exactly?" asked James. "Some clothes. Undergarments and legwear, the datapad will tell you more." "O-okay...hey um, why is this mask on my face exactly, I don't feel that sick." "You can't breathe normally in this ship," replied Tali, "we had to make special preparations for non-quarians who don't have our suits." "Right...well...thanks, both of you." "I'm just glad you're alright. "We'll leave you be, for now you need rest. Your friends will come round soon to see you." "Alright." "OH that reminds me," said Zimner, "we managed to recover most of your omni-tool data as well as your credits. We also made a new omni-tool that's now integrated into your left arm." "Wait, seriously?!" "Take a look, it should work the same as before, just that it's now inside your arm." The raptor slowly used his muscle memory to bring up the omni-tool function, gliding over his left arm's strange texture. Amber rings hovered over his synthetic skin, making him gasp with bewilderment as the doctor continued: "Your data has all been put back in it, including your credits and video recordings." "...jeez...I thought I'd lost that too...damn you really took care of it but, why is it in my arm?" "Are you ever going to NOT use your omni-tool?" "I...I guess not...I can always turn it off if I don't need it." "Then there you go, simple." "Wait...wait wait, wh-what about my weapon?!" "That is being...specially cared for in the hazardous waste area. We put your weapon there as for fear of contamination." "Oh...good, you...you did the right thing, that thing's...dangerous." "I can tell...you will have it given back to you if you wish once you've recovered fully." "I...y-yeah. I'd like it back." The two noted his odd hesitant tone, the doctor replying: "You seem reluctant." "No, just...it's not safe here...not safe anywhere. I...I'd rather have it with me." The doctor nodded solemnly, seeming to understand all too well. "I understand." "...hey." "Hmm?" "...take this." "Wh-what?!" "Just...take it. All of it." He transferred his remaining credits from his omni-tool over to Dr. Zimner, both him and Tali gasping with surprise at such a gift. Tali asked nervously: "Wh-...this is...this is like twenty-thousand credits, this is too much!" "Just take it. Please." "But...why? A-are you sure of that?!" "I don't think I'll need it anymore. You can have it." "That's a lot to give, you don't have to really-" "No...no just...please. It's my way of saying thank you." "There's no need to pay us," said Dr. Zimner, "your friends already paid for everything I mean-" "You saved my life. Just the least I can do." "But not ALL your credits surely," added Tali. "Just take them okay? I'm not gonna need it." "Well...if that is what you want then alright...thank you. Keelah se'lai." "You too...hey, um..." "Yes?" "I never asked this before I think but...what does keelah se'lai mean?" "It means 'by the homeworld I hope to see one day'. It's a blessing in our culture like...like what...'may the gods protect you' would be to humans." "Ohh...heh...homeworld? Wow...god just...hahaha...all this time."
Both Tali'Zorah and Fal'Zimner left him finally, and soon his friends arrived to see him. Never was he more happy to see anyone again in the current span of events he had been through. Norem and Lirem both had scars on their faces, the green-clothed turian burnt down his left cheek to a black mist. Areh looked surprisingly fit despite various new bandages and suit upgrades now neatly locking in with his own suit's functions, making him look more faded in appearance with brand-new medical braces on his body. Jax was missing an eye and had pale hands as if covered in ash, his blood streaked all over his face and ridge. All four of them except Areh wore masks the same as James did, breathing in the stale contaminated air by their own breathers. They slowly crowded around James with relief on their faces, not saying anything for a few minutes. "I owe you twenty credits," said Norem. "Yesssss," said Lirem, "that's another bar of candy for me." "Heheheh," said FG, "how are you guys doing?" "We've been better, frankly. My ribs hurt, Norem's even uglier than usual and Jax is...well frankly that's not done much to him but Areh is still as whiny as ever." "Heeeey," whined Areh, "I almost died five months ago." "Almost, and still whining." "Wait, five months?" asked FG. "...yeah. What, they didn't tell you?" "N-no...no wait...Tulan was here." "What?!" "Seriously?!" cried Jax panicking. "But...naw, naw you must have imagined it." "I swear he was, he told me that I'd been here like two months, said they found me that long back and we talked and...well...we talked stuff." "That's impossible," said Norem. "We would know if he was here." "I swear I wasn't hallucinating, I KNOW I wasn't." "You must have somehow, I-" "Listen, my head hurts, my arm feels weird and my chest is on fire, I fucking know what's hallucinating and what's not!" "Alright alright relax...not the craziest thing you ever said." "This is our boss we're talking about," said the krogan, "at this point I'm convinced he's just a ghost and just fades through walls." "Might as well be, we almost never meet him in person." "How did you survive?" asked FG. "I...I heard you scream for Areh and...there were shotguns all over the place." "Heh...I got blasted back into his room, knocked hard down onto the floor an' almost had it, got wounded pretty badly. Areh wuz just startin' to wake up when the Blood Pack turned towards the escape pod hearing it go off...he saved my life." He looked down upon his quarian friend with the warmest smile. "Pulled out a handgun beside the bed an' just...pow. Right in the dude's neck right before he was about to shoot me...just like when we first met." "My arm hurt like fuck," said Areh nervously, "thought for sure I broke it trying to shoot a pistol while recovering. Only reason I woke up was cuz of that stupid alarm and then Jax got up and...started blasting back at everyone, got that krogan bastard right in the face...once he was up I heard Lirem shouting from the other end and they just...pincered in the group invading." "Sure did," said Lirem. "They had too much focus on Jax here and kinda forgot about us, so we started plugging them in the back, then the Neema arrived and saved our asses gunning down the rest. We had pretty low ammo by that point so I don't think we would have lasted another twenty minutes. But yeah um you...you uh....you've been here about six months now?" "SIX MONTHS?!" He lurched forwards almost painfully from his bed, the raptor crying out with disbelief as they looked around the empty ward. Jax shrugged nervously saying: "You uh...you were beaten up pretty good James. You almost died." "Yeah I fucking know." "I mean they like, cut your head open, fitted a new arm-" "You almost died of malnutrition really," replied Areh, "they had to put you in this tank, and it just pumped all these nutrients into you-" "And you looked like a big-ass baby foetus in a jar. It was sick." "Sick nasty." The two smirked at each other before Lirem stared at them fiercely, telling them to be quiet. James clutched his head in his right hand and struggled to think, trying to comprehend this. Eventually after a minute's silence, he asked softly: "...what about Leiah?" "Huh?" "What...what did they do with her?"
They all looked down towards their feet, a solemn reverence despite James already knowing, before Norem took up his words. "We had her funeral...around the same time Areh got better. We all attended...her parents came to visit you before they had to attend business on their ship after we were done, they left you a message on your omni-tool." "Messages?" "Yeah. Check your latest." Slowly tapping from memory, he opened up two recent files, one with full video and one with just audio. He opened the video file first being more recent as two quarians came on screen. All five of them heard and saw them. Mrs. Dahlael in blood-red, and Mr. Dahlael in deep purple who spoke first. "I understand that...you did everything you could for our daughter. We...we always wished the best for her to be free and spirited amongst the galaxy. But we never expected this to happen, all of this." "The Neema told us as best they could," said Mrs. Dahlael, "how..." She stopped for a minute to try and collect herself, hand over her face as she sighed deeply as her husband held her close. "How this happened I don't know...but we know it was not your fault. It...it took us a while to understand that but...I said things about you. Bad things I now regret. You...you were a good friend to Leiah." "She always talked about you," said the father, "always she...spoke about how fascinating you were and that you gave her so much to enjoy, giving a whole new adventure to her that she...always wanted. And...to think that...y-you even gave her that silly dream..." He broke down into tears, gasping back sobs with his head in both hands. The mother stayed strong trying to hold him close, his shaking body making it more difficult for James to watch. He started welling up in turn, tears streaking gently down one cheek as he tried to shake it off, before Mr. Dahlael stood up and replied more promptly. "You have given so much to my little blue star...and in only the short year you knew each other. I don't know who you are, not as well as my daughter did...but...thank you. Thank you for being with her...and...thank you for saving me once again. I...I know that...nnmmph-" "We know that you are not to blame," said the mother holding him, "that you and her became involved in something far bigger than yourselves...and you both did what's right in order to save people. If I said I was not angry...I would be lying. If I said I did not blame you fully...I would struggle to speak freely. But I know truthfully...that you in turn have suffered with us. I'm sorry. Thank you for everything, and I know that...th-that...she always loved you as a friend. Keelah se'lai." The moment it closed off, James broke down himself, struggling not to until the video was over as if wanting to remain composed. The group of friends stood patiently, nervous and half-filled with pain in their hearts. They already gave all their tears, knowing that James needed time to understand. As guilt slowly awakened more from James' mind, memories flowing back of Leiah both good and terrible before ending on her final breath, he remembered something deeply. "...Areh?" "Hmm?" "...come here."
The quarian nervously walked forwards with shameful steps, flinching as if expecting to be hit or beaten. But he stood waiting beside James as he spoke to him tearfully. "...Leiah...told me something." "Huh?" "She...sh-she told me...that the one thing she regretted...was not saying goodbye to you." "Wh-...wh-what?" "She said...that she was a coward, for not speaking to you. That's...that's why she didn't go back on the ship to see you...and stayed with me. Then...then she just...avoided you when you were healing, just wishing this all hadn't happened. She worried about you...she liked you Areh." "B-but...even...e-even after-" "She's not angry with you. She regrets saying her last words to you...she's sorry Areh. She's sorry she fought with you." All Areh could do was shiver with pain throughout his body. Not a physical pain, but one emotionally. One he hated deeply. Sniffling was heard from inside his mask, his hands twitched in front of his face before a faint moan could be heard from him. Inbetween his small whimpers, they heard fits coming from him before he went over to a table and slammed his hands down upon it. He only beat his fists three times before slumping his head on the table, struggling to find words laden with guilt. "...I wished you were dead." "Wh-huh?!" "I wished...when they found you...that you were dead...and Leiah wasn't...I...I didn't want to say that to her. That...thing I said...I never wanted...I wished I hadn't...I'M SORRY!" "Areh, I-" "I'M SORRY JAMES! I'M SORRY! I was such an IDIOT! I wished those horrible things and you did everything for her! Everything I couldn't do, she was my friend I thought she was cool, I LIKED HER DAMMIT! I...I always...I worried so much that...sh-she hated me...I never wanted to say those things to her and now she's dead because of-...because of...SHE WAS MY FRIEND! I DIDN'T WANNA LOSE HER, I HATED ARGUING WITH HER I-...I...AAAAAAARGH!" With one final slam of his fists he went down on his knees in front of the table, weeping harshly as Jax slowly walked over to him with a firm hand on his shoulder. Eventually Areh brought his hand up and slowly the two hugged, rocking back and forth tenderly as the krogan soothed him. "Shhhh...it's okay...it's okay, yer not...yer gonna be fine..." "You're right," said James. "Huh?" "...you're right. I should be dead. I should never have lived. I don't deserve all this." "Whut-James, no come on, don't, don't say tha-" "No. Not because what Areh said either, I've been thinking that since I woke up. I...I'm not from here even...so why did I live? Why...why couldn't Leiah be the one to live, I gave my life for her, I gave everything for her...I know everybody hates me for it." "N-no," said Areh tearfully, "nooo no no I didn't mean-" "It's not just you...it's her parents too, they blame me. They all blame." "THEY JUST SAID THEY DIDN'T!" "BUT THEY STILL DO! THEY STILL BLAME ME, IT'S IN THEIR VOICES FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" "I CAN'T FUCKING TELL, I'M TOO STUPID TO TELL, I WAS TOO STUPID TO DO ANYTHING BUT-" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
The quarian quieted down at the shriek from FG, his voice turned hoarse with fury as he shrunk back against the krogan's arms. "I...am fucking sick of your self-pitying." "I...I-i wasn't-" "No. You just stand there crying away to yourself because you feel bad about saying shit to her, because you have all these problems and getting shit for them, half of which you give to yourself. You know how many times I hear you fucking pitying yourself, beating yourself up over the stupidest things? Like REALLY stupid things?" "I-i...I didn't-" "WHO CARES ABOUT A FUCKING DRINK, YOU BOUGHT THE WRONG ONE, MAN THE FUCK UP! You're barely any younger than me and you're already with a fucking band, you save people and live the life of a rockstar free as anything, yet for someone who wants to be free-thinking you are a goddamn coward who can't even face his own people. YOU tried to kill yourself because you listen too easily to shit people say about you, when you SHOULD have listened to your friends around you who ACTUALLY KNOW YOU!" "B-but I-this isn't, S-STOP IT!" "I watched Jax pull you from burning wreckage, his hands were BURNING and you STILL weep for yourself! We all got problems, fine, I'll never understand your problems but you REALLY need to sit back and just listen to other people for a change! The RIGHT people, your friends and family, not some fucking terrorists who think they know better than you and especially not yourself giving you shit for the dumbest things!" "...this...this isn't about me. I know that...I never meant that, just...I was trying to explain and it...it just...just came out wrong, i-i didn't mean-" "You never had to watch her die. You never had to watch her bleeding out from her stomach, cradling her in your fucking arm as she begged me to keep living, begged me to promise her and I don't even know if I can keep that promise especially when I have three of you telling me you secretly want me dead, just to feel justified in your own grief. You think I don't feel the same way, she was my friend before yours, so don't fucking give me any pity about what you feel." "...I...I wasn't...upset because of me I-i...I didn't mean to...I'm sorry." "I begged them not to hurt her, I gave my life to them and they still wouldn't do it. And the only reason why they fucking came to kill us, all of you, was because I was such a dumb shit who couldn't keep his head and if I just for one moment stopped and FUCKING THINKED about things and consequences I...I would...I wouldn't be like this. This is all my fault. Don't ever tell me anything is your fucking fault."
Slowly he laid back as a wave of fugue came to him, exhausted from his furious indignation as Areh stopped crying to himself. Jax slowly escorted him out of the room silently, motioning him to leave as they said not a word between each other. Both turian brothers looked disdainfully down on James, the raptor hardening his sneer at them. "...what?" "That was not necessary," said Lirem. "I don't need to hear his crap, all he had to do was say 'I'm sorry' but no, he had to-" "DON'T fucking say anything, I don't care what you think but he is MY friend. I understand what you were telling him but this is not the time to be saying anything." "Especially hearing you," said Norem, "weren't you just saying how much you wanted to die, how you wished she was alive and you weren't?" "After saying she promised you specifically to keep on living? Fucking hypocrite that's what you are." "...least I didn't almost destroy my career with a stupid grudge," said FG. "...really?" Lirem bent over him sneering vehemently upon him. "REALLY? You're in a fucking bed crippled after almost starving to death and THAT'S what you pick on? You are a fucking child you know that? How old are you?!" "About...must be thirty-one now." "And you talk shit to my friend Areh like a fucking teenager?! You got bigger problems to deal with, YOU-.......you know what, fine, jus-fine. Whatever, go fuck yourself. Least I got over my problems finally, there's no place for you anyway unless you got some use in a band." "What's that supposed to mean?" "We're giving up the mercenary thing," said Norem. "It got too much for us and we...we just can't go through that again." "Seriously? After everything you guys did, you just give it all up?" "The geth wiped all records of the incident, Tulan checked with them and they never contacted us again. Far as anyone knows, we got attacked by Blood Pack outside the Sowilo system because of a ground mission that went wrong. Beyond that they know nothing, Facinus pulled back, abandoned the base, we don't know where they went." "So...that's it? You just say 'fuck this I'm done' and they leave?! You're not going after them?! Seriously?!" "Yeah," said Lirem, "seriously. We stopped most of their plans, we knocked down their weapons a few, we did some good but they're not gone completely. There's still more of them you don't hear of, all the way back on Taetrus. We're stopping all this and just focusing on the band, what we should have done before. We got all our debts paid anyway thanks to the geth paying us so there's no reason to keep doing this." "You...you...fuckin-REALLY?! They get to fucking run off and make more terrorist plans, live to fight another day, what about that shithead that fought Areh?! What about the leader?! That's fucking bullshit!" "We can't DO anything anymore, we did our best! We stopped a lot of their shit, we pushed them back by a lot of progress, we should just be thankful that we got this far and that we're still alive." "ALMOST all of us." "Right...frankly I think we got off light, most people who take on Facinus tend to not exist anymore. So unless you wanna be a groupie, you've got no place shooting your mouth off on our ship anymore. Especially if you keep acting like this, I know you almost died out there but I am not taking shit from you about Areh or any of my friends. Got it?" "Fine...fine I'm...sorry." "Alright..." A moment of silence hung dead between them, turning away from each other slightly in both shame and regret for each other's place, with Norem taking up his cue to say something. "We'll let you rest. We're all a little hotheaded for now, so let's just think about it for a little. If you still wanna be with us, then come find us. If not...then...I wish you all the best." He placed his hand on James' arm in a more sympathetic fashion, trying to not leave with a cold farewell. "I'm sorry. I know you did your best."
The two walked out along with Areh and Jax waiting outside, the raptor left on his own just with his thoughts for company. His mind turned over softly, thinking of all that happened, all he had said and was said to him. His heart sunk heavy in his chest, as he felt even more a stranger than he had been one year ago. Back before he met Leiah. He slowly opened his omni-tool, seeing the last message given. An audio message only with an encrypted long-distance signal. One he knew was suspicious, but opened it anyway out of not caring. The voice that spoke to him was one both familiar and highly dignified, a burst of static shown on screen and nothing else hearing: "It appears you have succeeded in at least one of your missions...I was impressed. It is however unfortunate that you failed to achieve killing Facinus' leader...I expected better from you after our fight, James. But no matter, you have managed to defeat the anomaly and cause some damage to the mech causing it to be inoperable for a good while. I thank you as one soldier to another, and I swear by my name that I will do everything possible to keep bloodshed away from our mission...I could have used a warrior like you." The transmission cut off before suddenly deleting itself, parsing a cryptic code that caused it to erase from his omni-tool the moment the message ended. Healing himself up in bed, a few days went by before he finally took action. He stared many times at the photo of Koopin, needing to hold him. Wanting to kiss his image captured but the breathing mask stopped him. He decided after a long consideration of what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go. In the end he had only one conclusion left to ponder. He had no place within this galaxy. Not anymore. His friends he felt rejected him, his guilt and physical aches both culminated into one burning pit at the centre of his stomach and above all he knew that there was a demon he must take responsibility for. Somehow, someway, he needed to stop it from existing, or at the very least find a way to contain it. He mustered the strength to open the datapad on the package, a message reading out to him in text only. It only made him feel worse upon halfway reading.
You've probably been wondering about that suit you have on you right now. Truth is, I know all about it. I hunted you down after we got separated, after our fight in the warehouse district before finding out you got picked up by Blue Suns people and taken away by somebody else. Some woman called Mrs. Barrows, I dunno what that's got to do with it but that's not important. But they're the ones that put that suit on you, that much I know. The reason why? I'm not sure. I found you, blood and death all around you inside an abandoned infirmary. I was the one that put you back in that cell on C-Sec when you woke up. I wanted to kill you. I had every right to, even the opportunity. But I couldn't. I don't know why. Maybe you have some sick guardian angel following you. Someone clearly bad at it so I'd rather you rot in prison a little than just walk away free without any consequences. I don't know what you've gotten yourself into, but I know now that not all the blood you shed is on your own hands. Let's just leave it at that. I've gone back to my world. Our world for now, just to research on some things. I want to clear up some things that have been bothering me for a long time. I'll find you out there, somewhere, just to tell you what I've learned. I still believe you had a hand in my parents' death, but I also now feel that there are some greater problems beyond just you and me. I kept your clothes, after I found them in the place you got kidnapped to and never had the chance to give them back to you, on account of the suit and all. Heard you almost died like a bitch. I don't want you to die yet. I'm returning your clothes, call it a reason for me to send this message to you. Magic underwear right? Cute. Standard Makai shit too, must have paid a good price for it.
Don't you dare die on me. Not until I figure this all out. With regards, Roy MacGregor
It was a strange feeling, one he did not know how to comprehend. On the one hand he felt somewhat pleased, smiling softly at his old clothes being given back to him by an oddly fond message from one who tried to kill him. On the other hand he rather did not want to be reminded of Roy in this state, not when at his lowest knowing it was because of him truly that he had to leave his lover's side. Then he realised even that was not true, and knew in the end that the demon inside him was a much more inevitable conclusion. He stood up one day, once he was well enough to walk and he no longer had tubes in him, his body now regaining some of its fat as he looked at himself in the mirror. Wrapped within a grey medical protective suit, it gleamed healthily underneath the harsh interior lighting like fresh morning snow at 5am. His chest looked healthy, and by rights he was now fighting fit with strong legs and both arms somewhat similar in muscle mass once again, nurtured and strengthened by various techniques. But his face told a different story. His skin had now turned pale, more of a lightened-brown looking dusty and unclean, his eyes turning misty with red thin linings all around his retinas. He looked much more sick than he actually was, his tail weakly waving back and forth as his breathing mask kept feeding him, now off the oxygen more properly and working by its own internal filtering. His arm looked much different now that he saw himself, an off-model sinuous protrusion down his left side as if someone had wrapped his flesh around a lump of dead tissue, molded like clay into a modernised mockery. Yet still it moved by his own command, giving some credence that things could be worse. They were worse to him, his arm only a symbol of that failure as it tensed and flexed its fingers by the will of his nerve endings. He decided it was time to leave, as he thought to himself on where he wanted to go. He was sick of ice and snow, wanting someplace hot, and dry, and burning on his skin. A great big wasteland, some sort of desert, somewhere that could reflect his true feelings. Somewhere he could go and scream into the abyss without hearing the fallout of his friends all around him. It was a perfect place to be.
As he made his way down the hallways of the Migrant Fleet with just a satchel and his package bundled underneath his arm, he attracted strange looks from the cramped corridors and tight-clustered cargo rooms filled with them. Boxes, sleeping quarters, grey and drab silver-black was all he could see as murmurs came from them. Dozens of them. An entire colony of homeless vagrants just struggling to survive, keeping to their ships, scavenging, harvesting pieces to keep their world running. Keep their world moving. He started to sympathise with them with each step he took. Nets fashioned like hammocks to hold cargo when there was no space, draped tarpaulins hiding away precious possessions, the occasional sight of infinite space along the thick plated windows towards the outside. This was their home, the stars and blackness of space. No ground beneath their feet, no sun to greet them and no moon to bid them goodnight. Born and raised with the stars above and below, an endless void that stretched beyond grey metallic corridors. He felt cold all of a sudden upon realising this. Ask the homeless man where he lives, he points to himself. This is my home he says. I see something new every day, but always I feel the same cold and hunger. I always move, but I always remain at the same place. He felt like an immigrant passing through the underbelly of a cargo ship, but even amongst these strangers he was but a stranger himself. Forever out of place. Eventually, after asking enough directions politely as possible, he found the hazardous waste unit to which two guards stood waiting in front, both in dark brown armour with assault rifles. He asked them: "I need to retrieve something from here." "Ahh," said one of them, "you that guy we picked up?" "That's right, I have something in there that needs retrieving." "Do you have a pass for it? We need clearance from your doctor before entering." "You can't just run in and let me get it?" "Not without a pass I'm sorry, very dangerous stuff in there." "Awww he didn't tell me that, he told me once I was up and ready I could just go get it." "Well you'll have to find him won't you?" "Um...I don't...I don't know where he is, I jus-AAAGH!" Suddenly he collapsed onto the ground, making both guards panic as he clutched his leg whilst dropping his items swiftly. "WH-what happened?!" "S-something-AAAGH...burning...my leg! F-fuck my leg!" "Keelah um...u-um...dammit, Tolna call the doctor!" "B-but," stutted the second guard, "we're not meant to leave this post-" "CALL THE DOCTOR DAMMIT, GO FIND HIM!" "A-alright alright!" The first guard stood leaning over James trying to watch over him, now alone as the raptor whimpered and rolled from left to right. "Aaaagh...f-fucking pulled something I-" "J-just hang on, the doctor's coming soon it won't be long." "H-help me...up." "Huh?" "H-help me...up onto...f-floor hurts my back." "OH, yes, let me just, come on up you get." As he brought his hand down towards James, the raptor pulled himself up before slamming the guard against the door, stripping him of his rifle with a sudden elbow across the face and stripping it from his fingers. The guard now faced his own gun staring down at him from the raptor's claws around it, pointing fiercely towards his eye. "Open it." "Wh-wh-what...what are you doing?!" "Open the fucking door." "Th-there's no need for this, you just need a pass, I-" "DON'T fuck with me I've already seen one quarian dead and if you don't open this door right now you will ALL die from something else." "You...y-you...f-fine...wh-what do you want?" "I need something of mine in there, you have something that belongs to me and I wish it didn't. Now open the damn door." "A-alright just...let me open it." "If you alert anyone I'll know, I can break your face without a single shot and I'm sure that's not good for you guys."
The guard slowly turned towards the door and opened it by omni-tool, shivering with panic as the hazardous waste room had another door inside it acting like an airlock. The raptor forced him to open that one in turn, both of them walking in. The room was not filled with dangerous lethal things as far as he was concerned, but rather it was a place of storage too troublesome to dispose of neatly. Whether it was simply radioactive materials or certain broken weapons, he found himself full with a repository of things that, if one had the right engineering degree, could become fatal to both them and others around them. The air was quite musty compared to the rest of the ship, old contaminations still remnant within the old storehouse. He kept his gun trained on the quarian guard looking nervous in the middle of the room, trapped between various objects shelved up, covered and relegated with simple e-tags on them of their purpose. One item in the store room amidst cluttered steel junk, was a familiar lengthly shape, its grim handle eyeing him from the back corner with its own electronic tag. The tag revealed its data on James' omni-tool saying: Weapon? (unknown); found on James Campbell during Isa dated December 14th, 2184; possibly contaminated with unknown viral strain; do not touch with bodily contact, please use biotic fields to transport. "Thank you doctor." He grabbed the scissors still complete within their scabbard as he placed it on his back, walking towards the guard again and forcing him to walk back out to the airlock. "I'm going to give you something to hold." "Wh-wh-what?!" "Close your eyes and turn to me." "...why?" "Because I'll shoot you in the fucking face if you don't." "H-hoh keelah...alright. Alright my eyes are closed." He saw through the mask that they were, barely but he could see. "Hold out your arms." "Okay..." "I'm giving you something, do NOT open your eyes or else." "Alright...I'm not opening them." James slowly gave him the assault rifle over both his hands, stepping away from the door as it closed automatically once he was a certain distance away from it. The quarian guard was now safely within the airlock, as James said to him: "You can open your eyes now!" "I-...wh-what?! What did you-what are you doing?!" "Keeping you safe from what I'm about to do." "What?! NO, you-" "DON'T come in here or I swear to god I will kill you. I've got my weapon back and I'm not afraid to use it...not anymore." "Are you crazy!? It's contaminated in there!" "You'll be safe, I won't. I'm not staying here long enough anyway, so just go back outside and get back to your post." "What are you planning in there?! I'll come in I swear!" "You do that and I'll blow this place to hell. You don't think I didn't find a bomb in this place?! Look at all this crap, I can set fire to anything and it'll blow up!" "N-no you can't! That stuff's decommissioned!" "Oh no?" A deep roar suddenly came from behind the door, making the guard flinch and fall back against the outer exit leading back to the hallway. A cold fierce energy came forth from beyond the lock, shivering throughout the entire ship rumbling as people began to panic. "WH-WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" "IS THERE A RUPTURE!?" "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" cried out the guard. "GETTING OUT OF HERE!" roared back James. "YOU WON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME ANYMORE! ...none of you will have to." "SIR, PLEASE STOP THIS, YOU'RE TEARING THE SHIP!" "NO I'M NOT TRUST ME!" "YOU PUT A GUN TO MY FACE HOW CAN I TRUST YOU!?" "WHAT'S GOING ON!?" Dr. Zimner came running up along with James' friends, the five of them looking worried all the more as the guard said: "Y-your patient, he put himself in the hazardous waste room, he forced me at gunpoint to do it!" "WHAT!? JAMES! JAMES WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" "JAMES WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" roared Lirem. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!" "YOU DON'T WANT ME HERE RIGHT?!" cried James. "WELL I DON'T WANNA BE HERE EITHER!" "JAMES I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING BUT THIS IS INSANE!" "YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" "IT SOUNDS PRETTY FUCKING STUPID!" shouted Jax. "NOW STOP THIS!" "NO! I'M LEAVING THIS PLACE, SOMEWHERE YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME!" "JUST STOP THIS!" said Areh. "I'M SORRY OKAY, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE-" "NEVER MIND I'M SORRY TOO! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING, I DON'T HATE YOU GUYS, I NEVER DID! I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID BUT I CAN'T BE HERE ANYMORE, THERE'S SOMEWHERE ELSE I HAVE TO BE! SOMEWHERE I CAN GO FIND MYSELF!" "WHERE?!" "...I DON'T KNOW! BUT I CAN'T STAY HERE! I'VE ONLY GOT ONE THING LEFT TO SAY!" "WHAT'S THAT?!" "...Keelah se'lai." They barely heard him over the noise rushing forth, a sudden explosion that caused everyone to panic, throwing themselves down on the floor as they feared the worst. The entire ship shuddered with one wave of energy flowing through it, as each quarian panickedly stumbled and braced themselves for anything. Once the noise had stopped, and they could hear the whirring engines again, they slowly got up. Gently opening the lock towards the hazardous room, they found not a single trace of James Campbell anywhere to be seen. No blast, no tear, no structural damage. For all intents and purposes, it would be as if James Campbell had never existed within this galaxy officially. What records remained of him were very few, and the only ones who would ever know him, were those he fought and travelled with. In turn, they would still remember him, with bitter words and fond memories. But they could do nothing else but keep marching on, and set forth their new lives with a fresh beginning, born of blood and strife from the past few months. What memories they had of James would still be kept, and they only hoped that he would do the same wherever he may be. Somewhere beyond the wastes, waiting to find the true limits of his being. Fighting for his soul.