little secrets

Story by soulreaver798 on SoFurry

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#1 of little secrets

well, the first chapter. here, we meet Mason, and his friend and now lover. i haven't decided where it will go, if anywhere, but i wanted to post at least this chapter right now. it may pick up a little later on, but i wouldnt expect too much from it.


Mason awoke with a start, heart beating quick as he looked about the darkened room. There was no silent movement, no glimpse of a tail, nothing but the wisps of the dream quickly fading away. He lay back on the pillow and slowed his breathing, still flicking his ears around trying to catch signs of an intruder.

Mason was a fox, lithe in form and fit. Tall, rather slender, with russet colored fur, and black socks on his paws and feet. His head fur was longer than others usually kept it, but he liked it that way. It was enough to get in his eyes when he looked down, and give him the unkempt look in the mornings. His tail was well groomed, almost silky in texture, in stark contrast to his head fur, which always had that rough look to it. He was a good runner, as most foxes are, and did daily runs after school before heading home to do his schoolwork, and his body showed it. He wasn't well built, but there was definitely tone there. He was really good in literature and math, spending some free time writing poetry and stories. He was, on the outside, just your average fox.

As the dream finally faded out completely, Mason felt the tears begin to flow, trying to keep his sniffles to a minimum. His parents were in the next room, and he didnt wish to tell them why he was crying. They wouldn't understand it anyway.

As he tried to compose himself, he got up and crossed to the window, throwing it open and gazing out at the half moon. The red face on the night stand declared it to be three in the morning, practically laughing at him since he had to be at school in little under four hours. As the cool night air whisked through his tear matted fur, he thought about the dream.

The dream. This wasn't the first time he had lived it, and he was certain it wouldn't be the last time either. It was simple really, starting off with him laying in his bed, like he does most nights, with window open and the moon shining through as he read a few chapters of whatever book had his interest at the moment. The sheet was usually balled around his waist, he was propped slightly against the headboard with his right arm thrown above his head, the other holding the book. But then a shadow would move across the moonlight, and upon looking up there was the stranger. He couldn't tell the species, but the hungry eyes he saw along with the build made him guess wolf.

How things went from there was usually the same. The stranger would step through the window, holding his paw out for mason. Mason would grab it, and stand to face the shadowy form. He meant no harm, in fact far from it. Mason could see the devotion there in his eyes next to the hunger, the awe as the rough pads felt up Mason's toned chest, playing slightly with the nubs hidden under the fur. Mason would shiver, then lean in for a kiss. The intruder would return it graciously, pressing their bodies even closer. And mason would feel the hard ridge declaring his midnight visitor male, and Mason's would get even harder.

Mason was gay, had been for a couple years. But he kept it to himself, never letting one word slip to family, friends, even people he never knew. He played around online a bit, yeah. But the identities given were fake, the photos even more so. No ties, no evidence. And he felt even more alone each time he signed off.

He sighed and ran a paw down his hip, feeling the boxer-briefs he had worn to bed stretched tight from his thoughts of the dream. They seemed to be happening more often anymore, and maybe that came from the frustration. He hated feeling so far away from everybody. He hated lusting after the males he came into contact with on a daily basis, but never letting an ounce of interest show through. Because he couldn't. He was afraid, afraid of what would happen when that box was opened. Afraid of the storm that would brew. Afraid it would never be shut again. So he kept it tightly locked, and only he held the key.

He looked to the moon again, still wondering just who his midnight partner really was. It was hard to believe it was a wolf, as he was so short. The visitor was nearly a head or so shorter than mason, which wasn't quite unusual as he was too tall for a fox. And the fur was the wrong texture, too wiry from his memories of a wolf down the street when he was six. But still, the visitor was well toned, lanky but had a strength in his grip. He shivered at the idea of that form above him, pinning him on his own bed.

With another sigh, he went back to the bed and laid atop it, not bothering with the sheets. It was too hot anyways, being mid-august in Marichsburg. He left the window open as well, welcoming the incoming breeze off the ocean. He applauded his parents for choosing beach front property when they moved to this west coast town years before he had been born. Of course, that was when they had loved each other and could still agree on things. Mason didnt have too many memories of times like that though, so it was hard telling.

He tossed and turned, watching the moon fade away in the harsh light of the pending dawn. With a sigh he got up and trudged to his door, picking up his outfit for the day as he passed the unkempt dresser. Pair of loose jeans and a tight black shirt.

He padded softly out of his room and down the hall to the bathroom, which was basically his. His parents had one in their room, so they never bothered with this one except his mom cleaning it every couple days. As he flicked on the fluorescent lights, the harsh chemicals filled his nose, quickly bringing his focus back to reality. He yawned as he set the shower to his preferred settings, looking in the mirror one last time before jumping in. to wash away the tension more than the dirt.

.............................

"hey mason." called Nick as he stepped outside, book bag slung over one shoulder, piece of toast in hand.

Nick was a handsome otter, with a tall but skinny frame. He usually wore a little baggy clothing more out of style than actually trying to hide his physique. He was different than most otters Mason had seen, tall with a bit of a boyish look to his face, his fur was an odd mix of a lightish ice blue and white streaks. Most otters were just just a uniform brown, so Mason always wondered about it. Anytime he asked though, both Nick and his parents always said it just always had been that way in the family. Nicks dad had the same coloring.

"hey, nick." he called, nibbling the piece of toast as he walked down the path to the sidewalk where he met Nick. "your parents get back from there trip?"

"yeah, last night. They seemed shocked the house was still standing." he said with a chuckle, and they headed for the bus stop.

Mason looked at him from the corner of his eye, trying very hard not to get caught. Nick had Mason's eye for some time, but he was flustered on what to do about it.

Nick had been Mason's best friend since middle school, almost five years before hand, and here they were in their sophomore year. Nick had come from some small mid-east town Mason couldn't remember the name of now, when his parents finally missed the ocean. They moved in a few houses down, and they had picked up an easy friendship while playing outside as most young kits do. For mason, that friendship grew when he realized he was gay. But he played his part, not letting Nick know for a minute that things had changed. Some days it was hard to face that Nick may never be his.

Mason yawned loudly, throwing the last few bites of toast over the fence at the corner, letting the dog on the other side finish it. Mason usually mowed the lawn for Ms. Kathers, the old bear who lived there, and had loved that mutt since it was just a puppy.

"tired?" nick asked, waiting for the bus to show up. Mason's sensitive ears could pick it up about a block or so away.

"me? Of course, when am I not tired." he said with a shrug. "if I could get some sleep once in a while, I'd be good. Oh well, Mr. Marshall still has that boring movie going, ill catch some shut eye then."

Nick chuckled, and let it go. He knew something was bothering mason, but didnt press. They had been friends long enough to know that if Mason didnt want to talk about it, he wasn't going to. "i probably will myself. Its boring as hell, and we got another two days of it. Ugh."

they saw the bus turn the corner and stopped talking til they were boarded and on the way to school.

.....

"so, what are you doing this weekend?" asked Nick as they sat down at the lunch table. The others hadn't shown up yet, so they relaxed and picked at the food they had gotten, Nick a slice of tasteless pizza and some sort of vegetable side. Mason had gotten a bottle of lemonade and small salad. He hated school food anyway.

"not much, lay around all day, work on that paper in English a bit maybe, read. The usual I guess." he answered, leaning back on the chair, looking at Nick quizzically "why do you ask?"

Nick smiled, "wanted to see if you would come over. Mom and dad are heading off to a conference friday and wont be home til Sunday"

even though Nick was almost a year older than Mason, who was 16 already, he hated being alone almost as much as cooking. Mason smiled, and couldn't help but tease him just a little.

"why, so you don't burn the house down trying to boil water?" he asked jokingly. Truthfully, he knew he would take the offer up. He loved Nick's house, and it got him away from his parents for a few days. So what if he would cook. He had cooked his own meals since he was old enough to look over the counter anyways.

Nick hung his head bashfully, but Mason could see the smirk. "actually, it was my parents who made that request. I just wanted company."

"yeah right," Mason said with a chuckle, "alright. I'm hooked, ill be there friday night."

"really?" Nick said looking up, the light in his eyes unmistakable. Mason smiled, and nodded his head. "awesome, man. Its gonna be great." he finished, taking a bite of his pizza.

Mason was about to respond when the table groaned as George sat down opposite them, a bear on the football teams defensive side. Guy was weighed three hundred pounds easily, and ate enough for three people. His plate was piled high with food. Mason could see Farron not far behind, a slender fox who was a running back. He was fast, but didn't have a lot of weight to throw around.

"hey guys, what took you so long?" Mason asked as Farron took his usual seat by George. They shared the last class together, and both loved pranks and general nonsense. Mason had a feeling of what they were about to say. The mutual friendship was odd, Nick and Mason had been sitting one day when Farron showed asking if the seat was taken. George showed up five minutes later, and never left. They've been friends for most of the year.

"a certain smart ass decided to lob a spitball through Mr. Falkins antlers, then yell goal when it smacked the chalkboard." George grumbled, elbowing Farron in the side. "he kept the whole class after when everybody busted up laughing."

"well," mumbled Farron, "it was freakin hilarious. And a good shot."

George laughed, "you were aiming for his head. You just covered up your horrible aim by yelling that."

both laughed and dug in to their plates. Mason rolled his eyes and chuckled, then looked at Nick.

Nick was looking down at his phone, a small frown worrying his muzzle, his eyebrows drawn together.

"hey," Mason murmured, elbowing nick when that didn't get his attention. "hey, nick."

"what?" he asked, looking up from his phone to mason, startled.

"you ok over there?" Mason asked, the worry evident in his voice. The other two were still chowing down, not paying them any attention. "is something wrong?"

"nah, man." he said, the small smirk he usually wore returning. "just thinking is all. Everything's cool."

but mason could still see the worry in the back of his eyes. He shrugged, letting it go. If Nick wanted to tell him, he would.

......

"so, hows your sister?" Mason asked, feet up on the coffee table, sipping at a can of pop. Opposite him sat Nick, in almost the same posture, except with a phone instead of a pop. They were in Nick's living room, talking and waiting for Nick's parents to get home, which would signal Mason's being home soon too.

"shes doing ok." nick said, a little distant. Probably focused on whatever had his interest on the phone. "she's enjoying college, finds the work hard but enjoys it all the same. Shes coming home next month sometime."

mason nodded, looking over his friend. Nick seemed in a better mood, but something still bothered him, and wouldn't talk about it. Mason sat and watched him type something on the phone, then his thumb pause over the send button, followed by a quick erase. He had watched the otter do it several times, and finally decided to bring it up.

"you cant fool me, Nick." he said, catching the otters attention. "whats got you so troubled on your phone."

the otter laid his ears back, shaking his head. "nothing you need to worry about, Mase. Its just a minor problem a friend asked me to help with."

"oh, come on nicky." he said, "i can read you better than that. You know you can tell me."

irritation flared in the otters eyes, "yeah and you can tell me what keeps you up at night too, but you dont."

this time it was Mason's turn to flatten his ears. He figured Nick had picked up on it, but wasn't really ready to admit to him why. He knew Nick had to have woken up a few times when he woke up nearly screaming when he stayed the night. He looked down at his paws playing with his pop can while he thought of a way say he was sorry.

The couch shook slightly as Nick sat beside him, tapping his finger against mason's paws still playing with the pop can.

"hey, man im sorry." he said when Mason looked up, the regret sincere. "didnt mean to lash out, just kinda stressed out is all."

"i know. Its ok." Mason said, bringing his ears back up. "i shouldn't pry, but you looked troubled. Just hoped it was something I could help with."

Nick sighed, "Aww, hell. maybe you can. An old friend I keep in touch with told me at lunch he was gay, and that his parents hated him. He was thinking about killing himself, but I talked him out of it."

Mason took a moment to consider that. He understood that, he pondered a few times, but if Nick talked him out of it what was still bothering him about it?

"if you talked him out of it, what has you so troubled?" he asked. Nick looked away, blushed and laid his ears back. Mason found it kinda cute. He smiled as Nick scratched at the back of his head.

"yeah, well, ummm." he started, still rubbing at his head fur "i was trying to find the best way to word a question. Don't think me weird or anything, ok? I was trying to ask him how it felt to lay with another man. I just didnt want to make it sound rude."

it took Mason a minute, letting it sink in. then he laughed slightly. "oh, nick. Why would I think you weird for that? I already thought you weird." he said, pushing on his friends shoulder. There sounded like there might have been more, especially the way he was hesitant on that. Like he was wording it a certain way.

Nick laughed, "ass." he said, pushing Mason back. Mason pounced, rolling them both to the floor, tickling the otters sides. It might seem weird, seeing two teen friends rolling around the floor tickling each other, but they had done it since they had met. It didnt seem weird to them in the least.

They laughed and rolled around on the floor, bumping into the table and other pieces of furniture as they batted the others paws away and tried to tickle the other. Finally, both exhausted from the horseplay, they laid on their backs and caught their breath.

"if your so curious," mason said, "go online. Im pretty sure there is a few forums online with good information. Who knows, you might enjoy the talk so much, you'll try it yourself." he finished with a laugh.

Nick shared the laugh, "if I wasn't so tired now, id probably kick your ass." he said, pushing at Mason's shoulder.

They both looked up when they heard a car pull up to the house.

"Aannnd, that's my cue." mason said, getting up and helping nick from his position on the floor. "we still on for friday?"

"oh yeah," nick said with a smile. "then its my turn to get you to talk."

mason smiled and laid his ears back, feigning embarrassment. Now he was wondering if he should tell nick, see where things led. He shook his head and thought better of it. Let things go their normal course.

Nicks dad opened the door, and both turned to him. Nick smiling, and mason wagging his tail slightly.

"well, if it isn't my two sons!" Nick's dad said with a laugh, one Mason joined in on. He was fond of saying that, since Mason seemed to be over so often that he practically lived here. "how are you mason?"

"pretty good, Mr. Millen." he said, picking up his book bag. "just heading home to get my homework done." he said and walked off to the door. He stood aside as Mrs. Millen walked in.

"hello, dear." she said, reaching up to ruffle his head fur "you coming over friday to save poor nicky from burning another meal?" she asked, amusement in her eyes.

"mom!" they heard Nick groan in the other room.

"yep!" Mason said, with a quick wag of his tail, "don't want a repeat of last month, do we?"

she laughed and headed off to the kitchen.

Mason yelled bye and headed home, a smile on his face. He loved Nick's parents. They were awesome, and loved him like another son. He hoped that wouldn't change if they found out he was gay. Maybe not. But what if they found he was gay, and ended up their sons lover? Maybe.

....

the following day, Nick was quiet on the way to school, his eyes on the moving city. Mason tried to get him to open up a few times, but he would shake his head and continue staring out the window of the bus. School wasn't much different, he clammed up and wouldn't even joke around at lunch. Mason knew something was brewing, but he didnt know what. He would feel the otter's eyes when he wasn't with him or looking, but never actually caught Nick staring. The end of the day rolled around, and both headed off to the bus silently. The ride home felt like sitting in a tomb, silent and weird. He felt uneasy as their bus pulled up to the stop, both hopping off the bus.

"hey, mason." Nick said, finally opening his mouth, whispering, almost as if he was a little embarrassed "mind if come over for a little while? My parents are home and I want to talk. Privately." he said, rubbing at his forearm slightly. His eyes darted up and down the road, even though they were the only ones to get off here and it was empty for blocks.

"s.sure," Mason said, a little nervous. He couldn't understand why he felt that way, nick knew Mason's parents wouldn't be home for a few more hours. And wouldn't pry as to why the two were locked in Mason's room. Something was going to happen, but Mason couldn't figure out what.

The duo was quiet the two blocks to Mason's house, Mason trying to think what could have happened between yesterday and today that would make Nick so embarrassed, while Nick was busy trying to negotiate his thoughts.

"whats up?" mason asked, heading for the living room.

Nick grabbed him quickly, "n.not here, Mase. In your room." he said, a look of determination on his face. The otter had made up his mind about something.

Mason gulped and nodded, leading the way up the stairs, and waiting for Nick to cross the room before closing the door and throwing the door lock he had installed the year before.

"can we talk now, or do we need to go into the closet?" he asked, trying to make a joke. Nick ignored it and sat on mason's office chair by his computer. Mason crossed the room and sat atop the bed with a heavy sigh.

"well, ummm. I don't even know where to start, I guess." Nick fumbled, pulling his tail up to scritch through it.

Mason took a deep breathe, and looked at nick. "why don't we start at the beginning. What has you so in a tither over there?"

"i. I. I took your advice. After you left." he said, sheepishly. Mason fumbled for a minute before it clicked. "i searched around for a while and found a decent website. Got some pretty good information there too."

"so, what?" mason asked slowly, "are you interested in trying it or something?"

"no. I mean, maybe. I don't know. But that's not what has me confused." he said, a little shaky. "that website led to another, which led to another. I finally found myself at a small forum, I don't remember the name now, and started reading some of the posts."

"see something that has you upset?" Mason asked, trying to dig the information out.

"kinda." he said, "i mean, not really. Just shocking, is all. One kinda stood out, caught my eye. His bio said he was a tall muscular fox, who lived near the ocean and enjoyed long walks. Some of his posts were good, his poetry, his writing. And some of his artwork."

"ok, so what has you so upset?" Mason asked, getting another nervous feeling.

"well, I was gonna try and contact the guy, try and strike up a friendship, kinda get to know how a gay relationship works secondhand I guess. When I typed in the email address he posted, it said it was in my address book." he gulped, and Mason stopped breathing.

Wait. Did he stumble onto that old account? Mason hadn't used it in almost a year, it was a small online forum for aspiring writers who were gay. He had been basically telling the truth in that one, and had posted quite a few honest facts on it. Does Nick know?

He had to assume he did, and he looked at Nick as he sat there, fumbling with his next bit. But Mason didnt need to hear it.

"well, when I looked whose it could be-" he started

"stop," Mason interrupted, standing and running a paw through his head fur, "you don't have to say anymore."

"why did you never tell me?" Nick asked, looking hurt. Mason could see the tears starting to form. How was he so affected by this? He pulled Nick up from the chair gently, looking him dead in the eye.

"would it have made a difference?" he asked, looking at Nick. "i wasn't sure what to think, still kinda don't. Im not out in the open, and hadn't used that account in forever. I forgot it existed actually. Im still your best friend, Nick. Nothing has to change just because you found out about this."

Nick seemed to fumble with another thought, and Mason let him try and work it out. After a few thorny seconds of watching Nick fight with it, he looked up at mason, who just realized he was almost a head taller than the otter, with a fierce look of determination.

He reached up and planted a kiss on the foxes muzzle, bringing him into a hug. Mason sat stunned for a minute before his hormones kicked in, and moaned before letting the otter in, returning the kiss in full fervor. He was glad his parents wouldn't be home for a few hours still. Wait? Was this really happening?

Mason finally broke away, Nick curling his stiff tail around mason's leg, and looked up at him sheepishly, "but what if I want things to change?" he asked timidly.

Mason chuckled, and bent to take another kiss. This would definitely make the coming sleepover a lot more entertaining.