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49

"You said you knew what you were doing! Look at him!"

"Be quiet! You want every Wolf in the village to hear you?"

There were voices, loud and booming. And there were smells. He could smell medicine, herbs, dry blood. And there was pain, lots of pain, but no light. Kadai tried to open his eyes, but his entire body felt numb.

But if he was numb, how can there still be so much pain? It boiled inside him like liquid fire. It was everything else that had vanished. Burned away, perhaps.

"You gave him too much the first time. What were you going to do if he died? This was your plan, remember?"

"Shut up! He didn't die! Everything will work out exactly like I said."

"How do you know? Maybe he'll never open his eyes again. What then? We had a deal! I get what I want, and you get what you want. But now look at this mess!"

"Don't underestimate me, Wardo. I have the Cora on my side."

"Be that as it may, the Cora will not come down from the mountain to fix your mistakes."

"I don't need a scarred husk like you to tell me that."

"Ha! I don't want to hear that coming from the most scarred She-wolf in all the village, Shekka-Kai."

Kadai didn't understand what was going on. He could hear the words, but they didn't make any sense. They just buzzed around his head like a swarm of flies. He couldn't even remember what had happened, only that it was bad, and that there was blood. Something... in the blood?

"He's not going to name you Chieftain, Wardo. No matter how far gone he is."

"Oh, but he will."

"How do you know? What makes you so sure?"

"I know, because he loves you too much to do otherwise."

Someone laughed. It was a hard, joyless cackle. "He doesn't love me. At least, not anymore. No one does."

"No, they fear you, don't they? But isn't that just as good? Isn't that better? Isn't it more... fun?"

"You don't know what love is, Wardo. You've never felt anything even close, so don't pretend to understand. You've found a bit of power by manipulating those whose minds are weaker than yours. That feeling of power is indeed great, the knowledge that there are Wolves out there who fear you, but that is where your experience ends. I've known both, Wardo. I know what it feels like to be feared and I know what it feels like to be loved. And I also..."

The voice faded away to a whisper, almost too soft to hear.

"... I also know what it feels like to lose that love."

Everything became quiet. Did the voices stop? Kadai tried to move his arms, but he could barely wiggle his fingers. He seemed to be lying on something hard, something very uncomfortable, something with... tiny holes in it? He didn't know... it hurt too much to think. It hurt too much to even be...

"Are you crying, Shekka-Kai?"

"No. Sometimes my eyes leak. It's the price I had to pay to be closer to our God. One of many. I think one day He'll take everything I have left."

"Does that not worry you?"

"No." The voice was so far away, so angry, but oh so sad... he could hear it so plainly. "When that day dawns, I will welcome it with open arms."

Holes... beneath him. He could feel his fingers over them. Was this a table? A table with holes in it? Was that what he was lying on?

"Shekka, he's moving."

"Get out of sight."

"But I need to -"

"I'll make sure he remembers the deal, just go."

"Don't say anything stupid, or this whole plan of yours will blow back in your face."

"Go!"

Kadai felt like he was being pushed up from below, like he was rising on a current. He's been knocked out before, but this was different. This didn't feel like he was waking up. It felt like he was still asleep, but with his eyes open. He knew his eyes were open because he could see the shapes above his head. Pots and jars of noxious, smelly potions, snakeskins and bone charms hanging from posts, runes scribbled in deer blood that had grown brown and flaky over the years.

He was in the witch's tent.

Shekka...? Are you here?

He still couldn't speak. He couldn't even move his tongue. It lay in his mouth, just as dead as the things hanging above.

Shekka? Shekka...

"Kadai?"

He tried to turn his head, but there was so much pain. It felt like the bones in his neck had crumbled into tiny spears, and the slightest movement would cause them to pierce his throat.

"Here, let me help you."

He felt hands on the side of his face, gently guiding him towards that sad voice. He blinked his eyes and saw Shekka bending over him. Two dark lines had stained the fur beneath her eyes, but he knew those lines were not the result of leakage.

She had been crying again.

"Sh... Shek..." He wanted to speak her name, he wanted to reach up and touch her face, he wanted to comfort her, he wanted to tell her how sorry he was for being such a terrible mate, always so far away...

"Don't try to talk just yet. Drink this." She had a water pouch in her hand, and the sloshing sound it made as she held it up to his lips awoke a thirst within him unlike any he had felt before, like his throat was being eaten away.

He sucked at the pouch with his numb lips, spilling almost as much as he was taking in, and Shekka held it steady for him. After a few good swallows, she pulled it back.

Kadai tried to grab it, but even the tiny amount of movement he had had in his fingers was gone now.

"M- More..." he croaked, his voice like sand.

"No. I'm sorry, Kadai, but if you drink too much you'll throw up. You can have more later, I promise."

He licked his lips, trying to get at the drops that had seeped into his fur. He felt a little bit better now. Still numb, but at least he could talk. "Who... was here? Who were you talking to?"

"Me? There's no one else here, Kadai. Only us."

"But I heard..."

"You must have heard me, talking to you in your sleep. I was asking you not to leave me. I- I wasn't sure you'd wake up." A new tear followed the line left by its predecessor, and Shekka wiped it away.

"What happened?" he asked.

She stared down at him with her milky eyes and she lightly caressed the side of his face with shaking hands. "I'm not sure. The others are saying the Cora struck you down with a terrible illness for your sins, but I don't believe that. I know Him better than any other, and I know He would never harm a Wolf who loves his family so much."

It took a while for Kadai to process this new information. "Struck down? For my sins?"

She nodded. "There are many who believe you're getting exactly what you deserve. They say it's because you didn't avenge Banno and Garten's deaths. They never got the justice that they deserved, so now you're the one paying the price. It's all to balance the scales - two deaths for two deaths. Banno and Garten, Ander and Kadai."

Kadai swallowed, but even this simple task was tiring. "Do you believe that, Shekka?"

She bent down and kissed his cheek. "No, Kadai. Of course not. I've always been on your side, from the very beginning. The fools out there call your passions 'sin' only because they do not understand."

Kadai shook his head as best he was able. "Not that..."

"What?"

"I _am_guilty of sin. Terrible, terrible sins against you, against Hezzi, against Ander, even against Banno. Maybe I am being punished."

"Don't say that, Kadai. I'll make you all better, you'll see. I've got the best -"

"Please don't lie to me, Shekka. I'm dying, aren't I?"

It was a long time before Shekka answered, or maybe it only felt long to him, but finally she nodded her head. "I believe so."

Kadai tried to think of all the things that had happened to him, but it was all a blur. He remembered Ander's execution, and the way he refused to give up, even at the end. But how long ago was that? It felt like it had happened only hours ago, but that couldn't be right.

"Ander... he made it out, didn't he? He's still alive?"

"I can't know for sure, but I hope he is. I hope with all my heart."

Kadai closed his eyes. "He is alive, Shekka. I know it. I know it just as surely as the mountain will still be there a hundred years from now. He is alive."

"I'm... happy, Kadai."

Kadai opened his eyes with great effort, and Shekka was staring off at nothing, as she was prone to do, but there was something in her gaze he did not like. It was the same way she had stared at the little Fox girl they had captured, so angry, so... disgusted. This was how she had looked before she told the tribe to _burn_her.

Something wasn't right.

His heart raced in his chest and his breath came out in quick, harsh gasps. The pain blossomed inside his gut, burning like the sun, making him feel like he was boiling alive from the inside out. Even worse than that was an infuriatingly vague feeling that he was overlooking something incredibly important, something obvious. If only he could think!

"Calm down, Kadai. You're hurting yourself. Drink some more."

"I don't want-"

She stuck the tip of the water pouch in his mouth and squeezed the bag hard, squirting the cool liquid onto his parched tongue, forcing it down his throat. It was either swallow or drown.

Kadai hacked and coughed and spluttered, but the pain was going away, receding, leaving only that oddly pleasant numbness behind.

"That's not water, is it?" he whispered, lisping so badly he could barely understand his own words.

"It is," Shekka assured him. "I only added some medicine to help ease the pain. Do you feel better?"

Kadai nodded. He did feel better. Sleepy. But wasn't there something he wanted to do? Something he wanted to ask? Something about the tribe? Or about his family?

"Where-" He was suddenly overcome by violent coughing fit, bursting out of him hard enough to rock his entire body. But it was so strange, he couldn't feel it in his throat, neither could he feel his back slamming against the table, but he knew he must be bucking wildly because the jars and pots were trembling on the shelves. Shekka held him down and rubbed his chest until it settled, and then he tried again. "Where is Hezzi? I want to talk to him."

"He is with the rest of the tribe, waiting for news."

"Call him."

"I will Kadai, but before I do that I need to speak to you alone. It is very important."

"I want to talk to my son."

"And you will. This actually does concern Hezzi, as well as the entire tribe."

His lungs were aching. Why? Everything else was nice and numb, so why his lungs?

Kadai thought about this strange feeling in his chest for a while, and finally the answer came to him. It was with mild surprise, but no real panic that he realized he had simply forgotten to breathe for a while. Had that ever happened to him before? He wasn't sure. He pulled in a gasping lungful of air, and the ache went away. Disaster averted. It was a funny thing, breathing. It just happens automatically, without any conscious thought on our part. How do we even breathe when we are asleep? How do our hearts keep beating? How does anything happen? Maybe Ander would know...

"Kadai." Shekka brushed her hand over his face, very lightly. "I know this is hard for you right now, but you need to focus. Many lives depend on the choices you make within the next few minutes. Do you understand?"

Kadai nodded. As Chieftain of the Wolves, every decision he made impacted the lives of his people in some way or another. It is the first burden you must learn to carry when you take the weight of that title on your shoulders. Everyone is always depending on you. And if you fail, then everyone's pain is all your fault.

All your fault.

"If you die - I'm not saying you will, but if you die - have you given any thought to what will become of the tribe?"

"Banno... will..."

She slapped him lightly on the cheek, not that he could feel any of it. "Banno is dead, Kadai. You have to focus."

"Ander w-"

She slapped him again, much harder this time.

"Dammit, Kadai! Pull yourself together!"

"H... Hezzi."

"Yes! Hezzi! He's the only rightful heir you have left. Do you understand what that means?"

Kadai closed his eyes. He was tired. He only wanted to sleep.

Shekka pulled his eyelids open and screamed in his face. "Kadai! Wake up! Now is not the time to go to sleep! Kadai!"

Why was she screaming at him like that? Did she not understand he was tired?

A flash of sunlight, a new voice in the murk. "Shekka-Kai, is he-"

"Get out of here! Get out before I claw your face off! OUT!"

The light vanished and everything was murky again. Everything was always murky in this tent. He didn't like it, especially with that statue at the far end, eternally staring at all the pain and suffering and illness that passed through this place week by week.

And all the death. It watched that, too. What kind of a god would do that? Only one answer came to mind.

An insane one.

Kadai could accept an angry god, or even an evil god. But an insane god? There was no understanding such a thing. An evil god would at least have a reason for doing the things it did, whether it be out of sheer malice or plain stupid childlike amusement, but an insane god required no such justification. It just acted on whatever was happening in its sick, demented thoughts, feeling no pity or shame.

What kind of a place was this that would revere insanity as a god?

"Kadai." Shekka was back, speaking into his upturned face, taking great care to enunciate every word clearly, so he could understand. "What will happen if you die? Who will carry the title of Chieftain?"

"Hezzi... will take my place as Chieftain. It is his -"

Birth right.

Birth.

Blood in the rain. Death beneath the roots. Promises kept and promises broken.

Betrayal.

A deal with a demon.

Shekka never needs to find out, and you never need to disgrace your family or your honour. But if you betray me, Sai. If you let that scrawny child of yours become Chieftain, or if you die before naming me your successor, you know what will happen, right? I will go straight to Shekka, as she mourns_, and I will tell her everything! Everything, you hear me!? You'll go to your grave being cursed by your own family as the betrayer you are!_

Do we have an accord?

Sarah, please...

Don't you touch me!

Kadai... This is wrong...

Why?

You have a family. A wife and child...

Not this day. Right here, right now, in the shadow of this mountain that separates Fox from Wolf, all I have is you...

Do we have an accord?

Kadai? Where are you!?

I'm right here, Shekka. I'm right here.

Oh, Kadai, it hurts! I think there's something -

No! Nothing's wrong! Don't you dare say it! All right? Everything will be fine. I promise. You just need to stay strong. For me, for you, for our baby. For all three of us.

Do we have an accord?

Sarah, what is that?

This is your son...

How? This... this isn't possible. This can't be happening...

Kadai, please... he's heavy...

Do we have an accord?

Please, Kadai... I want to see him... I want to hold him...

Do we have an accord?

Do you feel that? I'm right here, Kadai. I'm right here... Kadai? Ka-

"-dai?"

"Shekka? Where are you? I can't..." The darkness pulsed before his eyes, or maybe it was the light that kept fading. Maybe it was both.

"I'm right here, Kadai."

He reached out like a blind Wolf, his fingers clasping over empty air until he finally found her hand.

"Shekka, is that you?"

"It's me, Kadai. I'm right here."

"Are you? I can't feel anymore..."

She held his hand and kissed it gently. "Do you feel that? I'm right here, Kadai. I'm right here."

Do. We. Have. An. Accord?

"Shekka? Hezzi, he..."

"Yes?"

He can't be Chieftain when I'm gone. Wardo will tell you of my worst betrayal. He will go to you as you mourn. He will destroy you. He will break your heart.

No, you're the one who broke her heart. Wardo will only make her aware of it.

And he will love it.

What kind of a Chieftain would he make? He would only break and destroy and kill. He would pay back every grudge he owes in blood.

I cannot let that happen.

But what of Shekka? She's suffered so much, and it's all your fault. The last decision you ever make in this world, will you really choose to break her for good?

But what of my people? They will suffer under the rule of one such as Wardo. He'd use them like playthings and watch as they tear each other apart. And then, when he grows bored of that, he'll send them over the mountain to -

Sarah! He knows where the entrance to the pass lies. All those Foxes on the other side of the mountain, what will become of them? What will become of Sarah?

If I make Hezzi Chieftain, that will not happen. I will save Sarah's life, but I will end Shekka's.

If I make Wardo Chieftain, I will save Shekka's life, but I might end Sarah's.

It all comes down to the same decision in the end.

Shekka or Sarah.

Sarah or Shekka.

Do we have an accord?

But maybe he'll leave the Foxes alone? Maybe he'll stay here and live out the rest of his years wallowing in the filth of his stolen power.

You can't know that for sure. You made a promise, remember? You promised Ander you would keep the Foxes safe. You promised him nothing would happen to Sarah or Kiana or any of his new family. For the first time in his life he knows what it means to belong, he knows what the love of family really feels like, and now you want to tear it all away from him?

I made too many promises. I can't keep them all. Even right at the end, I'm a betrayor, no matter what I choose.

Wardo will kill.

Hezzi will not. The boy still has so much to learn, but that lesson he already knows. Life is precious. Choose Hezzi.

Wardo will tear Shekka's heart out. Are you really going to choose Sarah again? Even though you haven't seen her in more than twenty years? Shekka has never left your side. Unlike you, she's been faithful her entire life. Choose Wardo.

Hezzi.

Wardo.

HEZZI!

WARDO!

"Kadai! Stop it! Calm yourself!"

Kadai didn't know why Shekka was screaming so loudly, or why she looked so worried. He watched her take a rag and rub it across his mouth, watched her pull it back bloody. Where did that come from? Was it his? He didn't feel any pain, at least not physically.

"Kadai, I can't give you any more medicine just yet, not until you give me an answer! Hurry, before it's too late!"

"Shekka? I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to be sorry, Kadai. Just stay awake a little longer, and then you can rest as long as you want."

Kadai shook his head. "I have to say this."

"Kadai?"

"If I make Hezzi Chieftain, Wardo will say terrible things. Very soon. He will wait for you to cry for me. You won't want to believe his words. You will want to call him a liar, a snake, but Shekka, he will tell only the truth."

"Kadai? What are you talking about?"

"I want to say I'm sorry before that can happen. I don't want him to do that to you. I don't want him to tear your heart open. But if it's going to happen, then better it be by my hand. Shekka, I -"

She clapped her hand over his mouth, her grip like steel, her claws digging into the soft meat of his lips, and she said: "You must name Wardo the next Chieftain."

He couldn't breathe. His nose was still clear, but it wasn't enough. She was smothering him! She -

She pulled her hand back and Kadai gasped for air, his aching chest barely rising and falling. Even with his mouth open wide it still felt like he was drowning. He simply didn't have enough strength to keep going.

Shekka put her hands on either side of his face and leaned in close, as if she intended to kiss him, but instead she repeated her words, throwing them at him like stones.

"You must name Wardo the next Chieftain, Kadai. You must."

"Why...? Shekka, Hezzi will -"

"Hezzi will die if you do not!"

It felt like she had stabbed him right through the heart. He was so confused, so disoriented, he couldn't understand, he couldn't even find the proper words to ask the question burning inside of him.

Why?

"Do you not see what has been happening out there? Can you not hear? Listen, Kadai! Listen to the voices outside!"

Kadai listened as hard as he could, but all he could hear was Shekka's haggard breathing. It blasted his face, reeking of half-rotted venison. But then something else came through, screaming and chanting, shouts of damnation and deliverance both, such a cacophony Kadai couldn't understand how he hadn't notice it before.

"This is the will of the Cora! Right there, before His great statue, our leader was forced to kneel and vomit up his sins!"

"That wasn't sin! That was just blood! He's ill, not cursed!"

"Cursed by the Cora! Cursed!"

"We will all fall at this rate! All because of him and his damn freak of a son!"

"Ander was not a freak!"

Hezzi! Was that Hezzi's voice? He sounded so close.

"He was a freak and a traitor, and so are you!"

"You take that back!"

"Hezzi, please! Just let it go! Ignore them!"

"Let him fight his own battles, you little mouse!"

"I know her! She was right there, wasn't she? Bit Wardo just as he was about to finish that freak for good! It's just as much her fault we're in this mess!"

"Aye!"

"Get back, Renna."

"But, Hezzi! They-"

"Get back!"

"Hezzi, look out!"

A new sound broke through the screams and taunts. It was a soft sound, but it rose above all the others, standing out with such perfect clarity it might as well have happened to Kadai himself.

It was the sound of a fist striking flesh.

For the next few seconds all Kadai could hear were cheers, drowning out everything else. It made him furious. It felt like he was reliving Ander's trial all over again, except he was even more powerless than last time. He couldn't even raise his arms to protect his own child. Mere inches from his face was Shekka, her head cocked to the side, both ears up and listening.

"Hezzi! Are you all right!?"

"I'm fine."

"You just gonna take that, you little runt?"

"Of course he will! No big brothers or Father Chieftain to back him up!"

"No, but he does have me."

A hush fell outside, and Kadai sighed in relief. That strangely even voice could only belong to Nilia.

"So that's how you walk these days, pup? Gonna let she-wolves do all your fighting for you?"

"I'm right here, you pissmonger!"

"What did you call me!? That's it!"

"Stop it, both of you!" Nilia's shout was not particularly loud, but she so rarely raised her voice that even the slightest increase in volume was enough to let most Wolves know to tread carefully. "We're all on edge right now, I understand that, but there will be no fighting while the Chieftain is ill. I'm sure Shekka-Kai will have news for us soon, so until then, show a little respect and be quiet."

The noise gradually faded away into a series of unintelligible grumbles. Kadai strained his ears trying to listen for any words that might belong to Hezzi or Renna, but if they were talking, they were doing it too softly.

"Do you understand now, Kadai?" Shekka whispered in his ear. "It's been getting worse since the trial. Hezzi sealed his fate the moment he lashed out against Garten, and it will only be a matter of time until he has to pay for his passions. I don't think even I will be able to protect him much longer."

"But if he's Chieftain, he'll..."

"You think that will keep him safe? Don't be a fool. Raising a child like that to the top of the mountain will only paint a giant target on his back. Wolves will line up to challenge him for the title, and after the way he acted, even the lowest of the low will not be barred. He threw away his honour for his brother, and now he's paying the price."

"Hezzi... he's more honourable than all those vultures put together."

"I know he is, my love, I know he is, but what we know doesn't matter to them. All that matters is that they are many and we are few. Think, Kadai, if Hezzi were to take up your title, the pain and suffering they would throw at him. Do you honestly think that child will be able to handle it? What if they revolt, Kadai? Or even worse, what if they kill him?"

Kill him?

Kadai moaned and tried to turn his face away, but Shekka was still holding on, forcing him to look into her cold, dead eyes.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but it's true, Kadai! They will tear him apart! Can't you see?" She leaned in even closer, as if she intended to touch those lifeless orbs to his own eyes. "I can see it. I can see it clear as day, the way they will pull him down and tear out his throat like a pack of wild animals."

"No..." Kadai said. He could barely do more than whisper now. "Not all of them are like that. Ander believed it, and so do I."

"But they are out there, and it only takes one Wolf to end a life, and the one Wolf I'm talking about is Wardo. If the hordes out there don't kill your drisa, then Wardo will be the one to do it. He won't do it directly, but he will find a way. He will make sure Hezzi leaves this world screaming in pain, and it will be all your fault, Kadai. Do you hear me? If you make Hezzi Chieftain, you might as well slit his throat yourself."

The pain was coming back, more intense than before. He could feel it swelling, burning his insides. "Are you asking me," he forced the words out of his burning throat, "to give a killer all the power in the world, and then expect him not to kill?"

"I'm asking you to save Hezzi's life!" Shekka wailed. "Why is it so difficult for you to understand that? Are you so far gone that you've forgotten what it means to be a father? Or do you value your legacy as Chieftain so much you don't care if it only lasts a week after you're gone? Because that's exactly what will happen. Hezzi's reign will be short and then he will die and Wardo will become Chieftain anyway. At least this way his life might be spared! Don't you see?"

Staring into Shekka's weeping eyes, Kadai came to understand that she was speaking the truth. If Hezzi became Chieftain, there was a very real possibility that he would end up dead because of it, just another disgraced Wolf with a knife in his back, and then all his sacrifices will amount to nothing.

That meant there was only one option left to him.

"I want to speak to him. Call Hezzi. Call my drisa."

"Kadai, I don't think he should see you like this. You're practically -"

"I want to see him!" Kadai shouted and a bitter glob of blood suddenly worked its way up his throat and splattered all over his chin. He coughed a fine spray of red droplets, his chest heaving, his back arching against the table.

Shekka leaned back and calmly wiped his face with the palm of her hand. "Fine. I will fetch him."

Kadai closed his eyes and fought for each breath. He heard her get up and cross to the entrance of the tent, heard her yell, but the sound was far and echoey, as if heard from across a chasm.

He prayed there would be enough time to do what needed to be done, and he prayed the pain would stay away just long enough to say what needed to be said. He didn't pray to the Cora, though. The Cora would never answer such a prayer. He simply said the words in his head, not directing them to any deity in particular. Maybe something was listening and would grant him this last mercy, or maybe it was all just a worthless act of futility. Regardless, it gave him a sense of purpose, something to strive for with the little time he had left. It gave him focus, and maybe that's all he needed right now.

"Kadai?" Someone shook him lightly by the shoulder. Probably Shekka. "Kadai, Hezzi is here."

Kadai opened his eyes and waited for the darkness to clear. It was slow, oozing away like mud, but eventually it did clear, and Hezzi's face was the first thing he saw.

The boy's fur was all messy and tangled, his clothes covered in dust, and there was a small spot of blood drying in the corner of his mouth. His lips were trembling and a lump slowly rose up and down in his throat as he swallowed.

But his eyes were bone dry.

That's what happens when you tell a child to never cry, to never show weakness of any kind, Kadai thought.

He saw Shekka's hand resting on the boy's shoulder, the charms on her wrist spilling over his grey fur in a chattering tangle of beads and bones. His gaze travelled along her arm and up to her stony face. She, just like Hezzi, was trying her best to keep her emotions at bay.

He hoped dearly he would not regret asking her this favour.

"Shekka?"

"Yes, Kadai?"

"Please leave us. I need to talk to Hezzi alone."

Her claws suddenly hooked into her son's shoulder and the boy twitched in alarm. "Leave? But Kadai, what if something goes.... wrong? You need me to be here. I can help you get through this."

"Just for a little while, please. It's important."

Hezzi looked from his mother, standing behind him, growling softly under her breath, to his father, lying on this table that smelled of blood, barely able to talk, and Kadai wondered what must be going through the boy's mind.

"Fine, I'll go." She bent down and whispered in Hezzi's ear: "If anything happens, just yell for me and then get out of the way immediately."

Hezzi nodded. "I understand."

She lingered a while longer, but finally turned around and left Kadai's field of vision. A flash of sunlight appeared across the Cora effigy, and for just a moment Kadai could make out Shekka's shadow flit across its face, the strange and uneven angles of the statue turning her into a hunched over crone, her arms elongated into the reaching talons of some bird-like monster, and then it was gone, and it was just him and his son, together in the gloom.

"Hezzi?"

"Yes, Father?"

"Come closer. I don't know how much longer I can speak like this."

He came a little closer, and Kadai noticed the way the boy's eyes went from his face to his chest to his hands and back to his face again. What did he see? What were those dry eyes fighting so hard against? Kadai thought he could probably make a good guess. He was looking at a once mighty Chieftain, stripped of all power and glory, reduced to lying on this table made for the weak and the sickly, barely able to move, barely able to breathe, slowly withering away before his very eyes. The hands, once strong and sinewy, were now lying limply by his side, the fingers curled up like the legs of a dead spider. The shoulders, once broad and proud, full of strength even as his twilight years crept closer and closer, were now merely flat pieces of meat attached to his partially paralyzed body.

He was seeing his father, the great and mighty Kadai, epitome of all that was Wolf, reduced to nothing.

"Father? Are... are you all right?" he asked. He was trying to hide his fear, something even more shameful than tears, but Kadai could see it eating at him, running wild just behind the thin shell of bravery he had covered himself with, scurrying about, seeking escape like a crafty little animal. There was no point in hiding the truth.

"No, but that's not the important thing right now. The important thing is for you to listen. And understand."

"Okay."

"Hezzi..." Damn, it was such an effort just to talk, he didn't actually plan ahead on what he was going to say. He didn't know how much time he had left, so the most important things would have to come first. "Something terrible is about to happen in this village, and you won't understand why. You might feel hurt and betrayed, but believe me when I say it has to happen this way."

"Father? What are you talking about?"

"Just listen, Hezzi. I want you to take Renna and get away from this place. Take the others with you too, if you can. Sorrin, Mellah, Danado and Lana. And Nilia. She will be a great help to you, I can guarantee it."

"Leave? What are you saying, Father?"

"Find Ander. Warn him."

"Warn him about what? You're not making any sense!"

"Tell him that -"

A sudden pain, sharp and quick, flared up in the pit of his stomach and a bitter glurt of blood spilled into his mouth. He could taste it on his tongue, the foul iron essence of it, stinging his throat, making him want to sick it all up.

"Father? What's wrong?"

He swallowed it back with great effort. He didn't want Hezzi to panic and call for Shekka, not until he understood what needed to be done.

"I'm fine," he said and flashed what must have been the most unconvincing smile of all time, because Hezzi's ears dropped and he suddenly looked even more worried than he was before. But he stayed. There was that much.

"What should I tell him?"

"Tell him..." Kadai took a moment to gather his thoughts. "Tell him Grovenglen isn't safe anymore. Tell him... there will be war."

"Wh...?" Hezzi took a frightened step back, his eyes huge. "Why would you do that? After everything Ander did, everything he went through, why would you give such an order?"

"I won't be the one giving the orders." Hezzi's mouth dropped open, but Kadai ploughed on, not letting him ask the obvious question. "You have to get out as soon as possible. Maybe even tonight. I'll try to hold on, but I don't think I can buy you much time."

Hezzi's hands went up to his head and he wound his fingers through his hair. He shut his eyes tight and he drew in a huge breath and shouted with all his might: "Shut up! Just! SHUT! UP!"

A loud gasp rose from the Wolves outside that quickly gave birth to hurried murmurs. Kadai waited to see if anyone would barge in, and when they didn't, he refocused his attention on his near-hysterical drisa, bent over and wheezing like he had just run the width and breadth of the village.

"Why..." Hezzi said, his eyes shaking madly in their sockets, "are you talking like you won't get up?"

"Because I won't."

"No!" Hezzi screamed, shaking his head. "No, no, no!"

"Hezzi, calm yourself."

"Banno's dead! Ander's gone! You're not going to leave me, too!"

"I don't have a choice."

"Yes you do! Fight it! Get up! Don't just lie there like you're dead already! You're the Chieftain! You're my Father! You're the best, strongest Wolf there is! You can't just- just-"

"Hezzi, come here."

He froze in place and all was silent except for his attempts at silencing the hitching in his chest. Kadai could see the shine in the corners of his eyes; unborn tears waiting to live their short, miserable lives.

Kadai tried again. "Hezzi, please..."

Never able to defy a direct order, the boy slowly shuffled closer. He was biting on his lip now in a desperate attempt to keep the tears at bay, the sinful tears that were even more shameful than screaming at your father as he lay on his deathbed.

The pain was getting worse and worse. Maybe Shekka's remedy was starting to wear off, but at least the numbness was going away, too. He was just barely able to raise his arm and hook it around Hezzi's neck. The boy had a stunned look of disbelief on his face for a second and then Kadai pulled him in close, perhaps the first hug he's given him since he was a very small child, barely able to walk upright.

"F-Father?" he stammered against Kadai's chest, not understanding what was going on.

"Be quiet, Hezzi. I need you to listen to me, and don't interrupt."

Hezzi nodded, and the movement of his son's head felt so surreal, the weight of it, the soft realness of it.

"I'm sorry I've been such a terrible father to you," Kadai said, pouring out all the poison that's been festering in his heart ever since Ander came and unlocked it. "I'm sorry for all those times I hit you when you didn't deserve it. Hell, I'm sorry for all the times I hit you even when you did deserve it. I'm sorry I always paid more attention to your brothers than you. I'm sorry for never realizing what a strong Wolf you are, and for never telling you every day how proud I was to be your father. And most of all, I'm sorry I have to leave you behind when you need me more than ever. I love you, son."

Hezzi made a strangled, choking noise and his arms awkwardly returned his father's embrace. He wasn't used to showing affection like this, but that was okay. They were all alone in here. There was no need to hide their feelings, so Kadai ran his hand across his son's back, grateful that he could at least do this before the end.

"I love you too, Father."

Kadai could actually feel the way Hezzi had to pull those words out, fighting with sheer brute force against all the teachings he had grown up with, teachings that amounted to no more than crippling your heart in exchange for false strength.

Did he say everything he wanted to say? Kadai wasn't sure, but it would have to do. He was tired. So, so tired.

"Why is this happening to you?" Hezzi sniffed, but Kadai could barely hear him anymore. He could only feel the weight of his son pressing against his body, and the warm, wet patch where his tears were finally starting to fall. There was no shame in it.

"Father?"

Kadai realized he had forgotten to breathe again. He opened his mouth and tried to pull air back into his lungs, but the process simply didn't work anymore.

"Father!"

Was Hezzi shaking him? Kadai couldn't feel it, but he could see the pointed ceiling of the tent sway back and forth. It suddenly stopped, and with a slight sense of sadness and loss, Kadai realized Hezzi was gone.

"Mother! Mother, come quick! Father's not- He's not- Just hurry!"

It was okay. He was a miserable excuse for a father, but at least he had set things right at the end. It didn't make up for all those years that came before, but it was something.

"Get out!"

"But is he -"

"I said get out!"

Yes. Better for the boy not to see this. Better for him to remember his father as a Wolf trying with his last breaths to set things right. Better for him to leave now so he wouldn't have to witness the moment it all came crashing down.

"Kadai." Shekka was back, and she was calm. "This is very important. Have you made a decision?"

Kadai could see her face. There were shadows crawling all over it, like black clouds, but her eyes were blindingly white, unmoving, like two stars shining through a thunderstorm in the middle of the night, watching him.

"Kadai! You have to give me an answer! Now, before it's too late! Think of the tribe! Think of your son!"

Kadai's used all his remaining strength to suck in the air that would carry his final words. "Next... Chieftain..." he whispered. "...will be... Wardo."

A change came over her. He could see it even with his failing vision. The worry drained away from her face and she sighed in relief. She caressed his cheek with the back of her hand, light as a feather, and said: "You made the right choice, Kadai. I will make sure Hezzi understands your sacrifice. This is all for the best."

Hezzi... did he really leave, or was the boy still here? Kadai strained against the growing darkness, willing the clouds to shift so he could see. There was a shape by the entrance, vaguely Wolf-like, far away, but it was too large to be his drisa. Was it the Cora effigy? No, that was on the other side, wasn't it? What...?

Wardo was peeking in, holding up the flap with a gnarled, bony hand, and he wasn't alone. He had Dorin with him, and Hyker, all peering in at him as he lay here dying. They were all grinning, their teeth shining white in the blinding light of the outside world. Kadai didn't know how long they've been standing there, but none of it mattered anymore. Let them bear witness to his last words. Let them smile. Shekka will never find out the truth, and her heart will remain whole. Hezzi might feel pain at first, but he will escape this place. He won't fall victim to the same cage as his father, and as long as his family remained safe, Kadai didn't care about anything else.

He closed his eyes and surrendered to a darkness far greater than the one in the waking world, a darkness so pure and black it swallowed every last trace of light.

But he could still feel Shekka's hand caressing his face, and he could still feel her breath in his ear. She was saying something...

"Don't worry, Kadai," her voice floated through the black, the last sounds he would ever hear. "Sarah will be joining you in Hell soon enough..."

---

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