FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Part 3

Carson and I said our goodbyes at the edge of the forest where we met up. He asked if I wanted to join him for a dip in the small lake that he found but I declined. I just wanted to go to the cabin and be alone for a bit. Actually, I wanted to go to the cabin to see if Brent came back but when I opened the door, my ears fell. The place was empty. Figures.

I stripped off my hoodie and fell onto the soft bed, finally letting myself relax. The cool air felt good on my naked chest. It helped the fire flaring in my head, only a little, but that was better than nothing._I did hear from some guys that some people were having a bonfire. Maybe he was there._Carson's voice rang through my head. Maybe he was there. But that brings about twenty questions with it that I didn't want to find the answers for. Was he drinking? Doing drugs? Just partying? Fucking? Why didn't he invite me, let alone tell me about it? Was he hiding something? If so, what? Was he cheating? Was he cheating? Was he cheating?

_ Maybe he was there._

Goddamnit, I don't have time for you.

_ Well hello to you too._

Look, if you're going to accuse Brent of cheating, don't. I'm not in the mood.

_ Ha! Me, accuse? Oh no, no, no. You've already done that for me._

I did not.

_ Oh how you make me laugh, Scout! You've been accusing him since-_

Don't. Don't even bring that up. I. Am. Not. In. The. Mood.

_ Thank you for proving my point._

What?

_ Does the phrase "don't act so defensive" ring any bells? Yes of course it does. Well, if you're going to walk around with a clear head let me lend you some assistance. Ever since that happened, you've always had some doubt as to what he does when you're not next to him. Is it not the reason you want him by your side? You don't love him for love. You love him for the safety and protection he brings you. If he weren't next to you, you'd just be another faggot susceptible to the hazing and torment you think goes with being gay. Stop me if I'm wrong- oh, wait, you won't because I'm not. Do you ever look yourself in the mirror and see something as weak and worthless as the sand that you walk on. That's what you are. Nothing more than goddamn sand that when people try to pick up and hold on to, it finds a way to slip through their fingers. You move back to the safety of the ground where people step on you until another comes to try to pick you up and hold you. It's the definition of insanity. Look at yourself. Almost in tears over a dick like him. Did you even think about what Carson asked you? He's a dick yet you stay with him. Grow some balls_.

"Shut up!" I screamed and sat up in the bed. My eyes were watering but I held back the tears that were pushing at the back of my eye. I wanted to...to do something. Punch something. Scream at something.

There was a knock at the door. My heart pounded. Was that Brent? I quickly got up and rushed to open the door. To my discontent, black fur greeted me instead of dark grey.

"You alright?" Kit asked. He looked around the cabin but then back at me. "Who were you yelling at?"

"Huh? Oh, um, no one."

He gave me a skeptical look but moved on. "Where've you been?"

"I went on a hike with Carson," I replied. I fished in my bag for a shirt but withdrew a violet hoodie instead.

He chuckled. "Ooh la la. Had some fun in the forest with a soccer player? What will the boyfriend say?"

"If I could only find him," I mumbled as I put on the hoodie.

"What do you mean? He's down at the mess hall with everyone else. I came up here to see where you were."

My ears instantly swiveled towards Kit. "He's at the mess hall?"

"Y-yeah."

I locked eyes with the cat for a couple seconds. "Did you talk to him?"

Kit laughed. "Yeah, right. When have I ever talked to him and not gotten some food thrown at my face. He hangs out with assholes." He said it as a joke but Carson's words echoed through my mind. Kit cocked his head, "Are you sure you're ok?"

I forced my ears up and said, "Yeah, I'm fine."

He didn't press, though I knew he wanted to. We ended up walking to the mess hall together, remaining silent the whole way. I wanted to start a conversation, but the words slipped my mind when I went to open my mouth. I told myself it's because Kit was thinking (he does this tail swish thing in a pattern of left-left-right, left-left-right when he thinks, it's quite funny to watch) and I didn't want to interrupt him. But I knew that I was thinking of what Brent was probably doing at the bonfire last night. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew there was a 80% chance he was cheating on me. Which left a 20% chance of him not cheating. And hopefully there was a 100% margin of error on my part...

Kit and I waltzed into the mess hall and I picked a seat close to the door so when Brent got up to leave, he'd have no choice but to say something, or at least acknowledge me. Kit said he'd get the dinner. When I saw his long black tail disappear behind the doorway I scanned the room for Brent, and it didn't take long before I spied the hulking wolf laughing with his friends.

Probably regaling them with stories of how many fucks he got out of some faggot. Just like he did before.

---

I remember the days after Brent stood me up at the restaurant. It was probably the most embarrassing experience in my life (so dramatic I know, but it was bad okay?). I walked through the hallways the next day, getting stared at, whispered at, pointed at, laughed at. And that was the day that my class was at the far left of the school building and my next class was all the way at the other end of the campus. Suffice to say, it was five minutes of pure humiliation, which for me had never happened before. I used to skate through school going unnoticed and people walking into me because they didn't even realize I was there (which was the perfect situation for high school, at least for me). But that day every eye was on me, and it wasn't the spotlight effect that I learned about in psychology class.

And I thought that was bad, from what I heard, the guy that fucked my life over was supposedly in my next class, and if he was, I knew exactly who.

Sam Shaw was the only kid sitting alone as I walked into US History class. The teacher, Mrs. Mac, put the desks in pairs for an in-class project. Everyone had a partner except for Sam, so I got paired with him, obviously.

I had no idea it was him, honestly I thought the people were wrong. I had been friendly with Sam for a while, we even dated a few months after I came out (he was a very...flamboyant tiger, gages and everything). But when I sat down and I noticed him shifting uncomfortably and the whispers that began to ring throughout the class told me a lot. That, and the fact when I tried to do the project he gave me very hushed and fragmented sentences and refused to meet my eyes with is, finally told me everything I needed to know.

---

"Someone's not a happy camper," Kit said as he laid down the tray in front of me. It really wasn't a 5-star meal (a burger, some greens, and what I hope is mashed potatoes), but with my empty stomach I'd eat about anything.

"What're you talking about?" I mumbled with a mouthful of burger.

"Your ears were down and you were staring across at Brent."

My eyes darted from Kit to Brent. "That obvious?"

"To me? Yes. To anyone? Mmm...yes. So what's up?" I sighed. I reluctantly told him what happened with Carson on the hike. Then I told him what I thought about it and he nodded. "Well...it's not like this would be the first time."

My ears flew down and I avoided eye contact for several seconds. "But," he started. I looked up and saw his knowing smile cross his lips. "Sera let slip about another bonfire tonight." My ears instantly perked and I leaned in. "I suggest a stake out!"

I laughed at the absurdity of the idea but thinking about it, it made more and more sense. Who know, I might even get some answers. Maybe he just gets wasted and passes out. Kit ran down the plan but he wanted to make sure that there actually was a bonfire and the best person to ask that was none other than Brent.

I agreed and I told him to come by the cabin at around 9ish.

---

I hurried to the cabin after dinner, savoring the chance to catch Brent in the lie. If I could catch him then maybe, just maybe, he'd stop acting like an idiot. Ideas of us walking on white sand beaches with holding paws and talking about our life after college. Settling down, maybe going on vacation to someplace we've never been. Maybe Rome.

I swung the cabin door open (maybe a little too hard), the loud thud of the door against the wall sent Brent to his feet. He saw it was me and relaxed, the arrogant smile covering his shock. "Oh, hey, you in a hurry to be somewhere?"

I smoothed down the fur on my head and casually walked up to him and gave him a long, passionate kiss. He didn't object, he even threw me onto the bed and got on top. We laid there paw in paw, tongue in tongue, feeling the heat between us. Finally he broke it off and scratched the spot begin my ear that always got me moaning.

"Someone's horny," he chuckled.

"Well," I began, though it was hard to talk through the stifled moans as he scratched harder, "I wanted to spend some time with you tonight."

He cocked his head. "Tonight? Oh, um, I was thinking of playing football with the guys tonight. Maybe tomorrow?"

Like football took the whole night to play. "When it's this dark?" I pressed.

He stopped scratching me and instead scratched his chin. "Uh, yeah. It's better at night anyways."

Idiot. "Oh, well now I know."

I smiled and we made out for, I don't know, a couple hours? Whatever it was when he got up and left (with no football in paw might I add), it was fairly dark outside. The sun was just about to completely burn out. I could barely sit because of the anticipation. My tail was swishing and twitching and I was picking fur with my claw.

Finally the clock read 9:03 and Kit knocked on the door. I told him what happened, sparing the sexy details, and confirmed there was going to be a bonfire tonight. Kit said he knew exactly where it was going to be but that they should wait at least till 11, when most of the people arrived.

---

The woods were pitch black and I could barely see a foot in front of me. The trees cast shadows darker then the night itself. The moon hung over us, its white glow like a spotlight, ready to alert the world to our presence. Thank God Kit brought his phone which had a flashlight on it. I tell you; sometimes technology is such a great thing to have.

It was a fairly long hike (or we got lost and made it longer, either way), Kit's phone read 11:45 by the time we could start to hear the loud and obnoxious laughter of people who thought they knew everything (teenagers). I obviously heard them first and told Kit to walk slower and lighter, though they were probably either too drunk or too loud to hear us, or both.

Finally, we reached the edge of the woods which opened up into a large clearing. At the center was a fairly large fire with kids from school drinking from bottles of all different shapes and sizes. I searched for Brent but it was hard to make out someone from this far away, and it'd be futile to try to get closer, they'd see us in an instant. All the jocks were here (save for Carson and a couple others), but I couldn't find Brent. Where the fuck was he?

"Hey," Kit nudged me. I glanced at him and saw him pointing towards the back of the large group where the bottles were appearing. And right in the center of attention was a hulking grey wolf, beer bottle in hand with a thin tiger by his side.

Gotcha, you son of a bitch.