You'd Be All That I Could Desire [Commission]
$50 commission and follow-up to that other gay dog one, "You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To"!
Normally I try to stay away from those long full-sentence titles 'cause they're super tacky, but hey, song lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf29qxlKEOA
I like these two. A bit of switching-around here. hope you enjoy!
"Gabriel..."
The summers in this city couldn't really be described as 'summers', but rather more... temperate autumns. The wind still blew and whispered through the leaves of what few trees stood beside the streets; sometimes it rained, usually a cool, biting rain that pierced into your fur and skin; the sky still maintained a fairly constant coverage of clouds, grey as the buildings that steadily rose up into them. Still, though, every now and then, a beam of sunshine pierced through the clouds and enveloped whoever it touched in its-
-in his-
-warm embrace.
"Hmm?"
Barnett leaned in the threshold of the bathroom, watching the mutt comb his headfur, straighten his clothing, fix his collar. Eyes that looked a cool blue-green in this light occasionally flicked back towards him. "You know I don't like it when-"
"When I what?" Gabriel straightened up and turned to face the german shepherd. Over the years, he had grown a little more, and now stood just barely shorter than Barnett. Still there was a weight difference between the two, though, as Barnett was almost purely muscle. "Barry, I'm going to perform tonight. I have to look nice. Are you worried that some busty lovestruck doll is gonna sweep me off my feet because I wore checks today?"
Years. That's really how long it had been since - since that day Barnett came home early with a mad headache and a gash down his chest from a bum with a broken bottle. Years since their first real hug, their first real kiss, their first real 'I love you'... he wore a simple gold band on the ring finger of his right paw in reminder of all those sweet years, during which both of their lives bloomed, Gabriel's in particular: he quit his job at the shipping depot and now sang on a semi-nightly basis at venues throughout the city, at least two, three times a week. "I'm just... selfish."
"Selfish?"
"Yeah." He grabbed the mutt's collar as he passed by on his way out of the bathroom, and swung him around to face him. Gabriel put one paw out against the wall to balance himself - and on that paw glittered a matching ring. "Selfish. I don't wanna lose you, Gabe. You are..."
"Barry, you know those stories about pampered daughters with overprotective mothers that prevent them from going anywhere?"
"No."
A flick of an ear. It was always just one: Gabriel's mixed breed had provided only one fully erect and movable ear to him, while the other remained flopped limply over and just sort of leaned to the side instead of turning. "Well, I haven't had a mother in several years, and I've gotten along fine. I don't need one now."
After a moment, Barnett let him go. To anyone else, that would have sounded like little more than a playful, innocent jab - which was really all it was, for the most part - but... well, years always do a lot to a relationship. Barnett could feel the sharp little barb under that playfulness. He felt it every time. Instead of replying, he just let his arm fall to his side and watched Gabe walk into the next room.
With the passing years, Barnett had felt himself open up more. He spoke more often to strangers and held longer conversations with people he knew - because, for the first time in his life, he had a past that he could smile about remembering. There had been depression amid Depression, and there had been loneliness, and hunger, and fright... and then there was Gabriel, his own bright ray of sunlight glittering through dense clouds onto a grey earth. Barnett had never really been a fan of music before, until-
-"under stars chilled by the winter/ under an august moon burning above..."
-until it was Gabriel's soft, sweet voice that drew him out of sleep each morning. Though, there had been changes in the pup, as well: over time, his personality had... hardened somewhat. Instead of acting like everything was wonderful no matter what, as he did when he was younger, now he acted as if everything was wonderful beneath a gritty, dirty exterior, sa if you have to dig to get to that beauty - like a... a geode, that's what those are called. Perhaps that's what Gabe was trying to become: rough and rocky on the outside, while inside glittered fine gems...
The thought of that happening frightened Barnett somewhat. It was almost as if he had swapped personalities with the pup, and that... well, that didn't promise too enjoyable of a future. After a while, he followed Gabe into the next room of the apartment, where the mutt busied himself with again straightening up his tie. It was a deep, deep burgundy, the color of the wine Gabriel had tried once and said he didn't like.
"Gabe..."
"What?"
Barnett waited until the mutt turned to face him. "I love you."
"I love you too, Barry. Y'know that. Now, come on - it's almost six, and you're my ride." And then, a bright grin. "Like usual."
~ ~ ~
Years, and Barnett still wasn't used to the feel, the atmosphere of the places Gabriel sang at - usually bars, restaurants, small places, only rarely a concert hall. Those Barnett could handle with ease. Here, however - an open restaurant with the stage at one end - he never knew what to do. Should he go up with Gabe and introduce himself as - as his friend, his uncle, his... lover? In this time, loving another man had a tendency to... dull and hinder one's desire to interact with others due to fear of their reaction. A man beside the woman he loves will be happy and friendly, will be outgoing and eager to share her with his friends... but a man beside the man he loves, in public at least, will be afraid to reveal to anyone that he even knows him.
And, yet, Gabriel can still go up there with ease and sing songs of love and happiness, every now and then flicking his gemstone eyes down to the german shepherd who held his heart, down to the old dog who always, always sat in the chair closest to the stage. Barnett could remember Gabe's first performance like this - oh, he was nervous. They both were. Gabriel clutched Barnett's paw beneath the table until he was two minutes late to going up on stage. He only found his voice because Barnett whispered his name and mouthed those words from before.
'I love you'. Such a simple statement, such a simple sentiment, and yet also infinitely powerful. It implies want, desire, need - and Barnett felt all of these things. Gabriel was his tether to happiness, the anchor that kept him upon the warm sands of love.
Which was why, whenever he saw Gabriel exchange an appraising glance with someone else, he felt the chain of that anchor begin to slip.
Barnett sipped at his glass of water, at the same time casting his eyes around the room. Most of these patrons he hadn't seen before, but some he did recognize from past performances - so either they were regulars of this venue, or they, too, adored the voice of the young mutt with the flop-ear, stub tail, and alexandrite eyes, the young mutt who was currently preparing backstage for his performance. Every Thursday night, like tonight, he sang an array of Cole Porter pieces, some of which had begun to grow on Barnett. He changed up which songs they were each time, but they all had the same general sound to them...
The lights dimmed, and the noise of conversation in the restaurant also faded down to a murmur, a whisper, and then, silence. Soft drums, softer strings, a clarinet; the curtains pulled back-
"Times have changed..."
Barnett leaned back in his seat and smiled to himself. God, did Gabriel look good - and sound good - tonight; often after performances, the shepherd would find him backstage surrounded by fans, men and women both. He wanted to push through them, to sweep Gabriel up in his arms and carry him off, as he knew he could, but... the mutt should have his moment. He deserved it.
Really, he deserved anything that anyone had to give him.
~ ~~
The show went on; Gabriel sang his songs, although this time rarely looked at Barnett. Perhaps something was on his mind - after all, this wasn't the first time. Honestly, recently, it seemed like Gabe was... drifting away, as if there were only a thin invisible string linked to both of their rings that kept him at all close. They still had their moments as any other couple would - in private, at least - but again, Barnett worried. That was part of why these performances made him nervous... or, more specifically, the way that Gabe treated his fans like friends that did.
He always gave him a while after performances - twenty, thirty minutes, maybe - to cool off and to let all that applause sink in before going around backstage to get the mutt. Today, though, Barnett felt oddly impatient, and went down to that hall after maybe ten minutes. Often, he would put his ear to the door of each room (as there were several to accommodate several performers) to determine which one belonged to his.
The first was silent, so he moved on; in the second, two females held a heated conversation about... something insignificant, surely; the third was also silent; and then, the fourth...
Soft music, of a romantic kind - there was the voice of one of these new up-and-coming singers so often heard on the radio; a gentle rustling of fabric, or clothing; then, a voice Barnett didn't recognize:
"Oh God, Gabriel, that's good... wow..."
Some gentle murmuring, and more rustling. A quiet laugh he thought he recognized, followed by a voice he certainly did.
"Y'know, you're know quite as..." The sound of swallowing, and a gentle sigh after. "...rough... as he is..."
...'gonna sweep me off my feet because I wore checks today'...
The shepherd fidgeted a bit, drew in a breath, steeled himself, opened the door - but still kept his eyes averted for a moment, fearing what he would find-
"Oh! Speak of the devil - Barry, we were just talking about you."
He looked over. Gabriel leaned back against a wall, jacket opened and tie loosened somewhat; a jackal sat, legs crossed, on the sofa on the other side of the room. They both held a mug in one paw, and the jackal took a sip from his. The scent of fruit lingered in the air, and it was an aged record player beside Gabriel that sang softly.
The mutt raised his mug. "Want some tea, hon? It's lychee black, imported from China."
"Gabriel, who..."
"Oh, right... manners. This is Uwe, German refugee from the war. Speaks perfect English-"
"Because I am only German by descent, you silly dog. I was born here." He stood and extended a paw to Barnett, who just looked at him. "I'm Uwe. That's spelled U-W-E, though it sounds like 'oo-vay'."
Gabriel smiled, though his ears half-flattened at seeing the shepherd's response. He coughed. "Um... Uwe, this is, uh... this is my partner, Barnett. It's been... how many years, now? Hon?"
The jackal looked between the two, then abruptly stood. He was slim, and a few inches shorter than Gabriel. If he was born here during the war, that meant he was a handful of years younger than the mutt. "I... think I'll leave you two alone. Again, thank you for the tea, Gabriel. You sang wonderfully tonight, and - it's good to meet you, Barnett. Um - goodnight."
When he slid past and out the door, Barnett noticed that he smelled like fruit and spice, like a badly mixed cocktail. The shepherd returned his gaze to Gabriel. "Who was that?"
"That... that was Uwe. Were you not - listening? His parents-"
"I know. I meant-" He swallowed. No way to say this without... well, without voicing his concerns as they really were. "-to you. Who... who was that, to you?"
Gabriel rested his cup on the corner of the record player. "He's... um, a friend and a fan? I don't know what you want me to say. Well, I do, but I'll tell you that that's untrue."
As with all relationships, again, time had begun to strain this one. Barnett loved Gabriel's success and popularity, but... he saw the way that some people looked at him, and how Gabe returned those looks. Sure, he'd never actually done anything to pursue something with someone else, but he also didn't do anything if someone put an arm around him, slid a paw up the back of his shirt, rested a paw on his hip or rear... Barnett sometimes wondered how far Gabe would let things go if he wasn't nearby to keep an eye on his boundaries for him.
He leaned against the wall. "You've just been talking for ten minutes?"
"Almost. He came by a few after the performance, and then the tea took another three or four to brew..." When Gabriel went to pick his cup back up, Barnett noticed his paws were shaking. "We... as much as you might think I do, I don't go out of my way to seduce others. My voice belongs to all who hear it, but my heart and body belong to you, Barnett."
"I just don't want to lose you. You're the first good thing that's happened to me-"
"-in a long time? Since the Depression?"
Barnett wiped at his nose. "Actually, I was going to stop there. You're the first good thing that's happened to me."
"Look... Barry... I appreciate that, but...'
"I still let you do these shows. I get nervous enough sitting out there, seeing how everyone looks at you..."
The record scratched to a stop, interrupted by Gabe's paw twitching against his cup of tea and knocking it over. The silence felt tense and ominous following that gentle music. Gabriel ignored it, instead crossing his arms in front of his chest. "...Let me. You let me do these performances? Like I'm your property?"
"I-"
"Am I just a toy you're afraid to share with others, for fear they might break it?"
"Gabe, that's not-"
The mutt stood up straight. His eyes looked a steely blue-grey in this light. "Look, we both know how things have been a bit tense between you and I recently. I think that's because you don't trust me."
"I trust you! I-"
"-drive me to each performance, regardless of how close to home it is? Won't let me stay out afterwards with friends or fans for too long? Won't let me talk to Michael, or Cecil, or anyone else from my old job?"
Barnett stiffened. "Your relationship with Cecil was-"
"Look. Without what I'd had with him, I'd never have had the courage to do anything with you. It was my admittance and acceptance of what I'd done with him that led to my first 'real' moment with you, remember? Besides, he was a good friend. However, I wouldn't know how he's doing now, since you demanded I stop speaking to him a week into my relationship with you."
"I told you before-"
"Look, Barnett." Gabriel held up a paw. "I am your boyfriend, your partner, your lover. Not your property, not your toy, not your - not your son. It's been... what, two years? Three?"
"Three and a half." Barnett could feel his heart beating.
"Three and a half years, and you still can't trust me? I've never done anything. I've never once thought of doing anything that would warrant that - paranoia-"
"Isn't it enough that I love you, Gabriel?"
The mutt's ears flattened against his head. "I don't know," he said, and pushed past Barnett into the hallway.
"Wait - where are you... going..."
The slam of the door leading back to the main room. Barnett lingered here for a while in case Gabe came back, but after twenty minutes, deemed it a pointless endeavor and headed back into the main part of the restaurant. There he waited until closing time, and was escorted out. He arrived at home to a quiet and empty apartment.
Really, it wasn't at all a lack of trust - not in Gabriel, at least. Barnett had just learned over time that other people are usually the ones who aren't to be trusted. The mutt's comments hurt - little of what he said was necessary. Barnett poured himself a drink a while after getting home... following what he'd been through in his life, it only made sense for him to be afraid of losing anything more, right?
Absentmindedly, he fingered the gold ring on his finger. First, he'd had a family, who abandoned him; he used to have dreams, aspirations, ambitions, but those all dried up. Perhaps he tried to be supportive of Gabriel's skills and life because, long ago as a pup, that was the kind of life that he, too, desired. He'd lost everything that he'd had, at least once before. Wouldn't it be acceptable, then, to not want to lose his first love?
First. He was approaching the second half of his life (if he hadn't begun it already), and Gabriel was his first love. The pup had no idea what he'd gone through. Sure, these times could hardly be called 'accepting' for kinds of people like these two dogs, but it was certainly a lot more so than what Barnett had grown up in. Luckily, he'd never faced any direct opposition himself for not desiring a woman in a relationship; there were plenty of stories of those people who had, stories that led him to keep that part of himself secret, silent.
Barnett had grown up drowning in his wants and desires, while Gabriel had a coworker named Cecil to unload those desires all over. Perhaps he envied him this.
After a little longer, he turned out what lights he had flicked on and went to bed alone, remembering that Gabriel still did own a little shack by the river for a home...
~ ~ ~
...some time into the night, he was awakened first by the door opening, and then further by a warm body sliding under the covers next to him. Gabriel tugged his arm around him and held it close, fingers idly twisting the ring on the shepherd's finger. Barnett breathed out a soft sigh and nuzzled into the mutt's neck.
~ ~ ~
"So, you wanna be a cop, huh?"
The young german shepherd nodded. After - God, weeks of crawling around this dirty city and stumbling in and out of so many job opportunities that rejected him because of some reason or another, it seemed this was one of his last choices.
"Why?"
"Well..." He shifted. "...justice, y'know? I may not be able to do much, but I can tell the difference between right and wrong. And... pup at home."
"And you are... how old?"
"Twenty. Sir."
"Why aren't you in the military, son?"
"They... wouldn't take me."
The big wolf sitting across the table was quiet for a moment. "I see. Why should we take you, then?"
"Last I heard, you lost almost sixty percent of your force to the draft. And, again: I can tell right from wrong."
"How well are you educated?"
"Well enough."
"What about a criminal record?"
The shepherd shifted again. That was the question he had dreaded being asked. "...I acted out of necessity. Ask the court; they'll tell you the same thing."
"Normally, I'd have to deny you, but... you heard correctly about the draft. And, hell, who am I to disagree with the court? What'd you say your name was?"
"Barnett."
~ ~ ~
He rolled over in bed, feeling Gabriel's back press against his. A look at the clock in the corner of the room told him it was still early enough so that he could sleep more before having to get up to go to work today. Often this sort of thing happened to him, where he'd wake up multiple times during the night, sometimes between dreams...
After a moment, Gabe, too, rolled over, and hung his arm over the bigger shepherd's hip while nuzzling against his upper back. When sleep overtook Barnett again, he dreamed of the mutt. He felt that he would have even if Gabriel hadn't returned overnight...
Love is odd like that. Barnett was rarely lonely anymore, if ever, but still he found himself tihnking and dreaming of his mutt often.
Was that such a crime?
~ ~ ~
Standard patrol for a standard day. Barnett could remember how much crime there'd been in this city when Prohibition first passed: the booze circles and moonshine lords were as integral ot the infrastructure of the economy as roads were to the city. Now, though, things had calmed down quite a bit - sure, a city would never be as quiet as a more rural or suburban place, but it could still be 'quiet' in its own manner and regard, relative to a... well, to itself, maybe.
Nowadays, he usually only brought in two or three people per patrol - and, nowadays, he had to do it alone. His long-time partner for patrols, Joel, was killed in a shootout about a year and a half ago; Barnett had called in sick that day, by pure chance, and then did so every day for a week after.
When he returned to work, there was this... odd, oppressive silence at the station. Joel was the youngest of everyone there, easily a good ten or fifteen years Barnett's junior. The shepherd often acted quiet and distant on patrols, but... afterwards, the silence felt wrong. He'd turn on the radio, or open the window, but... it just wasn't the same.
Quiet, he turned a corner and looked out onto the sidewalk. This was actually where those three-and-something years ago, a drunkard with a bottle sliced up his chest badly enough for him to take the rest of the day off but not enough to require a hospital visit. That was the day that all of this with Gabriel started, that wonderful, wonderful day...
He sighed. Joel had been the one to tell him to go home that day... ah, and since the first day on the job, the shepherd knew the risk of his occupation. When he first started, his shifts were always late at night, after Gabriel had gone to sleep and his mother had arrived at home. Then, though, there came the time when his mother would never again come back... Barnett only went into work when he was needed, as although Gabe was old enough to handle himself then, it wasn't exactly something the older dog enjoyed doing. Then, the pup turned fourteen, got his job at the shipping depot... and there, their relationship stagnated, for a handful of years.
Admiration, adoration... love, in silence. Gabriel never knew. Or, perhaps, he did, and that's why he... well, why he accepted and reciprocated the shepherd's advances that day. none of that mattered now, though, because their relationship had since blossomed. And, like any other flower of beauty, it went through times when it thrived and times when it suffered.
Barnett had all the sunlight he could ever want, though. It warmed his days and illuminated his dreams, and he'd never realized just how cold his life had been before he found the courage to let that light shine in on him...
A call came in over the radio, drawing his mind out of memory and bringing his focus back to the road. This patrol had gone so easily, too...
He was tired today. Maybe he'd take tomorrow off, spend it with his beam of sunlight...
~ ~ ~
The sun had just barely started to dip beneath the horizon past all the tall buildings by the time Barnett got off work. In the past, he'd walk in with Joel and wrap things up while talking with him or sharing stories about the others and the things they'd been called to handle that day, but... today, he didn't much want to talk about the little wolf boy with the concussion and gashed muzzle, and his father who had thrown the bottle at him. That sort of thing he just... couldn't stand, the sufferings of a child from a twisted family. he offered the little wolf five dollars to treat himself to something, but the kid said his mother would just steal it.
That little wolf lingered in Barnett's thoughts on his walk back to the apartment, close enough that it really wasn't necessary for him to drive - and besides, it was a nice night. Or, it seemed like it, at least. The only crimes the papers ever talk about were big-name thugs and mobsters, large-scale bank heists and shootings. Comic book villains. They never mentioned the hideous missteps confined to the homes, to the alleys, to the families. There lay the worst of the crimes. Like diseases, it's the ones nobody knows about that are the deadliest. It's the-
-there was a scuffle in an alley. barnett couldn't look away: two - no, three - men were pushing someone around, someone with their back to the shepherd. A dog, and male. He held his arms up in apology, or defense, or something; one of the others stepped forward, growled something, pushed him over. He lost his balance, fell - cried out when one of them stepped on his paw with a booted foot -
...Gabriel-
"Hey!"
One of them looked up at the sound of Barnett's voice. Gabriel scrambled backwards, holding an arm in front of his face. "What do you want, gramps? This ain't your business."
"It's not yours, either." These hooligans must have been only half his age, if that - each of them stood a good head shorter than him. One of them even took a step back when he approached.
"Look, pops." One of the others, a coyote, came forward. He looked like he had something in his paw, but in this light, it was unclear what. "Don't let this bother ya. We know what we're doing. Besides - it's alright. This guy's a faggot."
Perked ears, clenched paws, curled lip. "He - is my lover."
Silence. Then, a howl of laughter from the second, a hyena. "Ah! You want in on this too, huh?"
"What you guys are doing is assaulting him." Oh, how it hurt Barnett to see Gabriel scramble back towards him, still on the ground. Again, it was hard to see in this light, but it looked as though something, as though blood, dripped down the end of his nose. It was hard for the shepherd to keep his composure - he wanted to grab the nearest one and slam his head into the wall- "And, look. I'm a police officer. I don't want any trouble, so you children just... run off."
"Wait, they took one of you?" The coyote rubbed one of his fists, taking another step back. He turned to his friends. "Guess that's why the crime rate's been going up. You guys are all too busy watching each other's backs, among other parts, to pay attention to actually do anything."
Barnett offered a paw down to help his mutt up. Gabriel hid behind him, squeezing his arm for comfort. "Look, if you don't believe me, I can just bring you in. All of you. His injuries are evidence enough agai-"
"Like hell you will!" The coyote lunged forward, clearly intending to bring a fist across Barnett's muzzle, but the shepherd easily sidestepped and swung his own forward. This coyote clearly did not know how to fight; he must have been little more than a run-of-the-mill hooligan. His teeth scraped roughly across Barnett's knuckles, and it hurt a little, but - he could feel a few give way and knock loose amid everything else, in that little span of time.
The coyote fell, still conscious and groaning. A small pool of blood gathered around his muzzle where he lay, and when he pulled himself up to his paws and knees, more dripped down from his lip. The hyena came forward to help him up, all the while keeping an eye on Barnett; the other hoodlum, an otter, just stood there in shock.
"Well?" When Barnett raised his voice like this, Gabriel shrunk back a little. He'd only heard him yell once before, when the pup had broken part of the piano in Barnett's apartment, and that had been after a long, hard day... Barnett felt so bad afterwards - he couldn't bear to see Gabe's ears droop and his lip quiver like that - that, later that night, Gabe came into the kitchen to find his favorite dinner on the table (and dessert following), and Barnett read him a story before he went to bed. Gabriel fell asleep in the shepherd's bed that night... really, that was the first time they'd slept together. "Get out! You're lucky I don't bring you in anyway!"
The otter slid by first, staying close to the far wall of the alley. After him went the hyena, with the coyote over his shoulder; the latter kept a paw to his muzzle, though blood leaked through his fingers.
"You ain't a cop," growled the hyena. Damn dirt-dog. "You're a flower."
Gabriel shuddered, stifled a sob, squeezed the shepherd again after the hoodlums went off. "Barry..."
"Gabriel, Gabriel..." Barnett spun him around to face him and lifted his chin with a gentle paw. "Are you alright? - goddammit, you're bleeding..."
The pup nodded. He came forward and buried his muzzle in Barnett's chest. "I..."
"What did they want? Why did they bother you?"
"Just - get me home. Please."
Barnett gingerly rubbed at Gabe's bloody lip. Those steel-blue eyes, brimming with tears... "Are you okay, love?"
Gabriel sniffled. "I'm fine. I'm fine - just - please, Barnett, take me home. I'm not going to sing tonight."
"What?" He took his paw as they started to exit the alley. "Why-"
"I just won't. I don't want to. Not tonight, maybe not tomorrow."
There was a little quavering in his voice, the eminent leftover fear. Barnett felt so bad for him. Silent, the two continued on down the sidewalk.
~ ~ ~
The clank of pottery and glasses colliding - Barnett cursed under his breath, moving his paw to avoid the little splash of hot water. Gabriel kept an assortment of his teas here, maybe not that... that l... lee... that fruity black sort he drank earlier after the performance, the kind with the really characteristic scent, but plenty of others. And after what happened tonight, he really needed something to unwind...
'There's a real touch to brewing tea', Gabe had said. Barnett clearly did not have that touch; he considered pouring out what he'd made and just bringing the mutt hot chocolate or something. However, that really wouldn't have quite the same effect, and he'd have to avoid the want to sip some for himself. Tonight, everything would be about Gabriel, like he deserved. Or, at least, Barnett would try to make everything about him. 'It's the thought that counts', a pleasant alternative to 'sorry you're not as good as you want to be'...
...no. He shouldn't think like that. Balancing the cup and plate and whatever else on the tray, he carefully started down the hallway. If Gabriel really felt like - like Barnett's fears tried to convince him of - then... he wouldn't still be here, would he? He wouldn't still wear that ring on his finger, wouldn't still awaken the shepherd each morning with a 'good morning, dear, did you sleep well?', or share a kiss, or two or three or seven, with him before bed each night...
...and, really, the implications of all these is what love really is, isn't it? A strong, strong structure upon which happiness is built, supported by things such as Appreciation and Desire, Forgiveness and Understanding. With all of these intact, love can never fail; all that happens is a little bit of unsteady wavering under the crashing waves of Doubt, Jealousy, Remorse...
With one foot, he gently nudged open the bedroom door. The television was on in the corner, but no sound filled the room, and its was the only light present. A dog-shaped lump lifted the covers of the bed, all piled up, and shivered faintly. Barnett sighed.
"Gabriel..."
The lump shifted. Barnett stepped over to the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress, taking caution with where he placed the tray. When he placed his paw on what he thought was Gabriel's leg, the mutt jumped.
"I... made you something. Tea, that... um, was in there, and... a sandwich..."
No movement. Barnett stepped over to the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress, taking caution with where he placed the tray. When he put his paw on what he thought was Gabriel's leg, the mutt jumped.
"Gabe."
More silence, and then, the shifting of covers. Gabriel sat up, almost knocking over the tray in the process (though, he didn't seem to care too much) and looked at Barnett - and, oh, God, those eyes. Though they were visibly darkened by everything bearing down his mind, they still shone as a pair of the most beautiful of gems...
And it hurt seeing him so wounded. The physical wounds were, or at least appeared, surprisingly limited: a few bruises, some cuts, a gash above one eye. Barnett had paid quite a bit of attention to those when they first arrived at home. However, the more hidden wounds...
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
Gabriel, quiet, just reached for the cup of tea after a moment. Barnett handed it to him.
"I'm sorry if it doesn't taste right. I... tried, but I remember what you said, about how brewing tea is..."
"Barnett-"
Ears perked. He looked up into graphite eyes.
"Have you... ever... considered singing?"
And then silence. Barnett shifted; Gabriel took another sip of the tea. Guess it wasn't too bad, then. "Well..."
The mutt watched with sharp eyes. His paws shook. though it certainly looked as though he tried to ward off the effects on him of what had happened earlier.
Barnett shifted again. "...when I was really young... yes. Of course, that wasn't really... well, it was a child's dream. It came and it went. I-"
"One of my dreams as a child was to fall in love with someone who would make me happy. And I didn't give up on that, did I?"
It seemed that the shepherd's mere presence was enough to calm Gabriel down. Barnett placed a paw on the mitt's leg under the covers, smiling gently. "I'm glad you didn't."
"What made you give yours up?"
"Well, first, just listen to my voice." Rough, low, sandy. Not at all smooth silk like Gabriel's. About as far from angelic as a voice could get. "And... I never had the chance. There was the - the Depression, and right with that, you fell into my life, and - then your father-"
Gabriel sputtered and put a paw over his mouth. After a moment, he set the mug down on the nearby nightstand, turning a pair of childlike epes to his lover. "Sorry. Swallowed wrong."
The aroma of the tea filled the room, though it was not at all oppressive or acrid, like smoke or some food. If this scent had a color to it, Barnett felt it would be a sort of misty translucent blue... "Gabriel..."
He set the sandwich on the nightstand as well. He hadn't taken a bite out of it. "Yes?"
Hopefully tonight, and - and what had happened - wouldn't change any part of him... Barnett thought that Gabriel as he was now was absolutely, perfectly wonderful. "...I love you. I only have eyes for you."
The mutt gave him a soft smile, though Barnett couldn't help but sense a tinge of something else behind his expression and voice. "As do I for you, Barry. It's just a matter of you believing me." He rolled onto a side and pulled the covers up. "I love you too."
The thin purple fog turned to a muddy reddish-brown. Barnett, silent, stood to undress.
~ ~ ~
He awoke to an empty bed - and then, when he rolled over, to Gabriel's cold tea and still untouched sandwich. That was more of an annoyance than an insult, as the mutt's absence was hardly a worry. Often would he go somewhere during the day to spend his time, since he didn't have a job apart from his singing, which wasn't really much of a 'job' in itself... this time, though, Barnett would try not to worry about where, exactly, Gabe went, and what he did there...
-no thoughts of Cecil, or - what's his name, Uwe - or anything they've done-
because 'it's just a matter of you believing me', he said.
Barnett can't be blamed. He felt like he couldn't be, at least. Every man experiences and lives his first love differently. He grew up in a time when being too close to someone could result in nothing but disappointment and hunger. The Depression brought out the worst of people - or, rather, how they naturally were, uninhibited by easy living. For Barnett, there had simply been no time for love. And that's what made it even harder when it did happen...
...well. He called Gabriel his first love, though that wasn't entirely true. He was just the first to reciprocate that love. There had been one, a tall coyote-wolf cross, who had caught young Barnett's eyes and attention. He was his 'mentor' of sorts when the shepherd first joined the police force; he was his first patrol partner. Barnett struggled with it at first - when he was young, his mother always said 'oh, there's a fantastic wife out there for you', and perhaps there was, but no matter how much he tried, he found himself to be easily distracted when looking to women. Like watching a farm grow: soon, his eyes just fell away, of their own accord...
Richard. That was his name. His birthday was the twenty-third of November; his favorite color was purple; and, being both a coyote and a wolf, he liked his steak blue rare. Barnett didn't understand it at first, that feeling which he now recognized as 'attraction'. Richard's closeness felt to ignite a small, warm flame in his chest, and his voice did something to his heart and mind that words couldn't properly describe... and, like Gabriel, he, too, called the shepherd Barry. Hearing that nickname always put a little jump into the beat of his heart... when Richard called him that, it always, always made him wag, if only a little. There was an age difference of a little more than ten years between the two, with Barnett the younger. 'Little German shepherd police dog', Richard said. Barnett didn't mind how he was sometimes treated as younger than he really was - 'to make up for the childhood you never had'...
Blue eyes. Bright, bright blue eyes, the kind that would soak up all the light of the moon and reflect it back like the silver surface of a still pool. Sapphire-blue eyes in a steel-and-obsidian muzzle. His voice was the wind in the branches of empty trees, low, lyrical.
Gradually, Barnett came to realize just what the hell he had for that coyote-wolf, and when he did, it frightened him. He kept it to himself, knowing full well what could happen if he let it get out. Most of all, he hid it from Richard himself; no telling how he would respond, and the prospect of not seeing him again, of never riding as his partner, of never hearing his voice, easily outweighed the thought of being happy with him, of loving and being loved in return.
For Barnett, fear had a tendency to overpower hope. It always had, as a result of how he had grown up. Maybe eventually, a certain sweet, smooth hope would melt the ice of that fear around his heart, but... until then, he would always dread losing his love.
Joel was not Barnett's first patrol partner to be killed in a shootout. Blue eyes, black fur, red, red blood; the blur of strangling tears...
Gabriel would never come with him on aaptrol. He'd never wanted to, and even if he did, Barnett wouldn't let him. That erased a bit of the fear, but it still remained nonetheless, ever-present. The fear of losing his love was always there. An emotional wound is not like a physical one, where it scars over and strengthens against repeated injury, however slightly. The heart's wounds simply make it that much more vulnerable to be injured again.
A broken heart feels not unlike a sucking chest wound. And, in a way, it is.
For Barnett, Gabriel was the bright sun between dark clouds, the promise of warmth at the end of a long, rough storm. He always had been - though, at first, it felt wrong to have the pup in the same place in his heart that Richard previously held. However, Barnett also felt that his attraction to the coyote-wolf was wrong, didn't he? He felt like normal love shouldn't be like that, like normal love should burst forward and free from any inhibition or restraint...
...But, then, his love wasn't 'normal', was it? Not in the eyes of the public, at least. He could understand being wrong every now and then in thought or opinion, and that's okay - but to think that the very fiber of his being, that his validity as a person, is 'wrong' or 'incorrect'?...
Growing up, Barnett had done nothing wrong, and yet everything still seemed to fall apart around him. First went stable family life; then went his childhood and innocence, both in one event - or, rather, in a tightened rope and cut-off breath, in the lapse of moral judgment if only for the prospect of a good meal; then went one friend, a second, a secret love. With Gabriel, things had finally begun to look up, so call his fear of losing the one thing and person who had ever given him a considerable measure of happiness 'selfish'...
He took up the tea and sandwich to take them into the other room. For three and a half years now or however long it had been, Gabriel had been living here fairly consistently; as a result, his scent still lingered in the air, gentle and sweet, warm and reassuring. When Barnett rode with Richard, he'd begun to learn and love the scent of the coyote-wolf... and then, two weeks after his death, he'd forgotten it. Scents of loved ones always have such a strange ability to elicit deep memories and emotions, more often good than not. He dreaded the day, if that day ever came, when he'd forget how Gabriel, too, smelled...
Love; such a cruel master. Simultaneously it brings endless happiness and infinite worry - still Barnett had to check himself and unclench his fists, for whenever his mind wandered, it settled back on those goddamn hoodlums from the previous night, and their - how they cornered Gabriel, and - and hurt him-
Breathe in, breathe out. He set the dishes down in the sink and moved his paw to turn on the water. When Gabriel came back today from wherever he'd gone, Barnett would apologize for his suspicions, and show the mutt how much he loved and needed him...
Barnett felt that he had done nothing to deserve the mutt, and as such, also felt that any misstep would strip him of the privilege of his love in return for the shepherd's own.
~ ~ ~
Once more, it was his voice that caught the shepherd's attention before anything else when the mutt did arrive at home. he sang softly enough so that Barnett couldn't quite make out the words, but he liked the tune nonetheless. He rose from where he lay on the bed reading to meet the pup.
Gabriel seemed to be in a good mood; apparently he had taken his bag with him, an over-the-shoulder messenger-style thing, as he slid it off his arm when Barnett entered the room. Between lines of whatever it was he sang, he whistled softly; not seeing the shepherd, he rummaged through the bag and took out a notebook.
"Hello, you."
His ears perked, as did his shoulders jump slightly. He turned to face the shepherd and instantly broke into a grin. "Hey. I thought you didn't work today... I was right."
"You're in a good mood today." And yet Barnett's thoughts were only of the previous night, of the gash on Gabriel's brow, of his bruised arm and cheek, of the paw that had been stepped on. That one already had restricted movement, due to a previous injury...
"It's nice outside today. I guess I never realized how much I'm stressed out by performing, too." He held up the journal. "Also, I wrote some."
Barnett wrapped his arms around the mutt's waist from behind. Gabe leaned his head against him. "Wrote?"
"Yeah. Remember, when I was little, I used to write silly little poems? I woke up early today, and you were knocked out - I tried to wake you - so I decided to go somewhere, do something to take my mind off things. I started writing a play."
"A play!" Barnett had gone to a play once. It was dreadful. He'd just assumed that, in order to be a playwright, the writer must have a vastly overinflated view of himself... "What's it about?"
"A man meets the love of his life, but doesn't realize how much he needs the relationship until it's gone." With his free paw, Gabriel intertwined his fingers with Barnett's on his belly. "It's like Romeo and Juliet, but halfway. I finished about half of the first act."
"Mm..." God, it was pleasant to hear him talk, to feel the warmth of his neck as the shepherd nuzzled, having to lean down a little to make up for the height difference. "Oh, um... Gabriel?..."
"Hm?- here, let me go, hon, and I'll start on lunch-"
He did so, and then leaned back against the recliner, where Gabriel had set his bag. He breathed in, breathed out, breathed in. "I wanted to apologize."
Gabe moved around some pots under the sink. "For?"
Oh God. "For... doubting your love. I - had no right to; really, I should just be happy that - that-"
"Hey. Hey, shep."
Barnett fell quiet. Gabriel leaned over the counter to plant a kiss on his cheek.
"I know. I forgive you, dear. if there's one thing I've learned about love, it's that a large part of it is forgiveness. Maybe it's just because I'm in a good mood today, but I feel like I've overreacted about your concerns. I understand why you worry, hon; I can't blame you for something that's not your fault."
The mutt went back to looking around the kitchen, and with that, it was all over. He'd effectively quieted Barnett's worries about his... well, his worried, with a few simple, poetic words. However, one way or another, he would still worry... but, apparently, that wasn't anywhere near as much of a problem as he'd thought. "Hey Gabe?"
"Mm?"
"Wanna go shower?"
"...I..." The mutt looked up from comparing seasonings. "...was going to make dinner, or at least start it. I was going to do something with chicken, it-"
"-can wait. I...": He remembered the first time he'd pulled Gabriel's shirt off, in a manner different than all the times in the past. Sure, there were a few in his young years, when the seven- or eight-year-old pup spilled something on himself while eating, but... that time three and a half years ago, or the night after, or the morning after that - so many similar events in a fairly short span of time tend to blend together - Barnett lifted Gabe's shirt while the mutt pressed his body, his hips, forward against him, and when he'd lifted it off, he could feel the softness and warmth of his chest against his own, and they shared one kiss, then a second, and a third... "...want you to be close to me."
"Oh. Barnett..."
"C'mon." He started down the hall...
...and turned to see Gabriel following, a ghost of a smile on his face. "Well, alright... I guess it wouldn't hurt."
After flicking on the water, in the mirror, Barnett saw the mutt already beginning to take off his shirt. Back when they'd first started living together, it had indeed taken a while to grow accustomed to an already somewhat-cramped shower that now had effectively half the space, what with another furry body standing and washing beside him, sometimes bent over against the wall or glass, his little gasps inaudible - but, again, Barnett enjoyed the closeness. Gabriel removed his shirt, rested it on the counter by the sink, started at his pants; the shepherd came over to stop him with a firm paw on his wrist.
"Here..." he purred. Gabe smirked. "Let me handle that."
Something else that had taken a bit of getting used to was the challenge of undoing someone else's pants, especially while they still wore them. After these years, he had gotten considerably better, and could do it in a matter of seconds... but, sometimes, 'seconds' is stretched out into a span of time that feels to be much longer, by desire.
"Ooh..." The mutt put his arms around his partner's neck, having to stand up a little straighter to do so. "What has you so... forward this evening? Something happen while I was gone?"
"I just missed you." Which was true. Barnett had missed him, and now, he was here, and he wanted him; Gabe shifted a little to allow his pants to slip down his legs, and then stepped out of them. He wore no underwear today.
His voice was barely audible underneath the shower, like the tinkle of chimes under strong, howling winds: "Aw. I missed you too, hon. Now, c'mon; your turn to undress."
"You undress me."
A grin, and then warm, gentle paws instead of a spoken reply. Barnett helped with his shirt, since their height difference, no matter how small, made it a bit hard for Gabriel; however, the mutt could handle his belt and pants just fine. Just being close to and being touched by Gabe was enough to elicit a reaction from the shepherd: he opened his pants to find a plump sheath straining against the fabric of his boxers, and underneath those, an eager reddish-pink tip...
Gabriel looked up, that smile still on his face. "I think the shower's ready."
"Yeah... yeah, me too."
The hot water on his fur and steam in his nose felt nice, but it was a different sort of nice than when it's the heat of Gabriel's body on his fur, and his scent in his nose... letting go of the inhibitions restraining his want, Barnett pulled the mutt against him as soon as the door had shut behind the two. In response, Gabe's paws found their way again around the shepherd's waist; soon, it was more than just one pink tip between the two. A big paw urged out Gabriel's length, first pressing and squeezing, then rubbing and stroking; Gabe leaned back but kept his arms around Barnett to hold himself up, letting the warm drops of water course down through his fur, letting the warm fingers of the shepherd trace up along his length... closed eyes and hot breath showed just how powerful of desire Barnett's touch ignited in him.
Almost without warning, he straightened up and pulled the older dog into a string of deep kisses, at the same time moving his hips so he thrust in and out of his paw. Gabriel was particularly fond of handjobs, as well as he was of having a hot, drooling cock resting on his tongue; Barnett, however, enjoyed rimming...
The mutt seemed to expect it, and certainly wanted it, too. As soon as the kiss ended, he turned, braced himself against the wall, and leaned over slightly, tail held up. Barnett licked his lips as he got to his knees... it was times like this when he truly believed Gabriel's fidelity to him. There was no real reason backing that up - it just felt... right.
With one paw, he felt the mutt's rump, at the same time spreading him to make room for his muzzle - which quickly settled into place. Warmth and tightness; being extremely sensitive to touch, Barnett's lips easily picked up the ridges of Gabe's pucker, as well as the little twitches and clenches from the motion of his tongue, never still. He pressed the flat of it against the mutt's tailhole, then dragged it up; he swirled it around and pressed it in; he kissed the hot, tight flesh, ensuring that he'd left a considerable amount of his saliva beneath the base of his little stub tail, before straightening back up.
This time, it was he who wrapped his arms around Gabriel's body instead of the other way around, though he took a moment to place the tip of his cock up against where his eager tongue had just been. "Ready?"
Gabriel nodded, and his mouth formed the outline of a 'yeah', though the word was lost beneath the noise of the shower. Barnett licked his lips again, gritted his teeth, pressed the side of his muzzle to the smaller dog's neck... and started to sink into him, slow at first, as usual, and then stopping entirely once his knot pressed up against the base of his tail.
Very rarely were words shared between the two while locked in such heated situations, as their minds, their focuses, were always on other things. More often did they exchange gasps, or grunts, or moans, usually from Gabriel whenever Barnett shoved back into him or changed his pace. Honestly, that was another thing he loved about the mutt: how he could pleasure him so that he let go of his modesty and give voice to those adorable little noises, the products of absolute raw desire.
With one such little exhalation of breath, Gabe pressed his rump back. Barnett moved one of his paws down the mutt's front; a hard, hot cock throbbed against his fingers, dripping pre or water, or both.
"Barry..." gasped the mutt, "I want you to be in control this time..."
He responded with a little bump from his hips, driving the pup a little more firmly against the wall. Usually he allowed Gabe at least some control, so he could monitor the pace as was comfortable to him. "Are you sure?"
"Mhmm. Please-"
"Okay. Okay..." He started to pull back.
"Barry-"
"Huh?"
A short pause, during which Gabriel swallowed. "I love you."
"I love you too, Gabe - I -"
-but the mutt pressed back again, cutting off Barnett's words and putting in their place a soft moan. No matter how many times he'd had Gabe on his cock, the electric feeling and pleasure never dulled. He moved his other paw up to Gabriel's shoulder to keep a grip on him while he gradually increased his speed, fully aware that the mutt wanted him to take it how he wanted, but still taking care for his sake.
It would have been easy to lose himself, too, amid the drifting steam, the characteristic scent of hot water, the sensation of tight flesh around his length and the effect this had on him... he tried to keep himself slow, but soon found himself thrusting in and out of the pup, more able to feel his moans and gasps through his body than hear them. Positions like this always made Gabe a bit noisier than usual - and, given his exhaustion afterwards, his cute smile, his unsteady legs, it must feel quite amazing... all Barnett got was a few moments of breathlessness and shaky paws for a while. Honestly, he wouldn't mind trying to bottom for the pup...
But, for now, he was quite content with pushing into and pulling out of Gabriel, who clenched around him, who held onto the metal bar on the wall for support, who had angled himself so he could mirror the shepherd's movements. He - panted, and had his eyes squeezed shut, and breathed out "harder-"
So Barnett moved both paws to Gabriel's hips to hold him there, so he could slam into him and pull back, again and again and again. Gabriel moved one paw down to his own shaft; he didn't do that unless he was close - although, the same went for when he says things like 'harder' or 'faster'...
"Ah-..." The sounds of Barnett's hips as they hit the pup's rump could be heard over the water. He, too, could feel himself come closer to climax... "Gabriel-"
Gabe pushed his rump back against the shepherd's knot, and that was all Barnett needed. He pressed in further, though he knew they hadn't prepared for him to tie Gabriel this time; a series of shudders run through him, the kind that always came from this sort of pleasure, as he felt himself release into the mutt. Gabriel clenched around him and worked quickly with his paw - and then he straightened up, gasped a few times, shuddered all over as well. Oh, this wall wasn't the only he'd painted in such a fashion.
"...We came in here to get clean," he panted. He lay his cheek against his partner's muzzle, which rested on his shoulder. Both of their bodies gently thrummed with heavy breaths. "And we just ended up getting dirtier."
"No... I told you I wanted to be close to you, not get clean." Barnett nuzzled Gabriel's neck. "And, really, I don't think I can get much closer..."
Gentle giggling in response, and then a soft "ah-" when Gabriel moved forward off of Barnett's length. Instantly, his paws went to the throbbing flesh and swollen knot. "When was the last time you showered, hmm?"
"Stop - sensitive-"
"Oh, you big baby. You can handle a gash from a broken bottle, two or three gunshot wounds, a concussion, whatever else - but not a paw on your cock - besides, if we don't wash now, we'll just smell like dirt, wet dog, and other things later..." Gabe turned up a lazy smile to the shepherd. Perhaps the heat from the shower made him sleepy, too. "...and what if, later, I want you again?"
Barnett just grinned.
~ ~ ~
It didn't take much time at all to get to 'later', either. The two finished their shower fairly easily, dried off (which in itself took a good hour, at least, what with fur), actually had lunch... and then Gabriel said he felt like taking a nap, and invited the shepherd to join him.
However, between two like this, such an invitation can never be innocent. When Barnett entered the room, Gabriel stood beside the bed, already shirtless and working at his pants. Those soon dropped, too, and he showed just a quick peek at his slim nude form before he slid under the covers. He had turned onto his side; after Barnett had also removed his clothing, he climbed into the bed and again pressed up against the mutt's warm rear. Barnett's sheath fit almost perfectly under Gabe's tail...
However, his thoughts soon wandered back to those he'd had in the shower, thoughts of... of Gabriel being the one thrusting into him, of the shepherd being the one to feel the heat of a wide knot under his tail. These thoughts hadn't just begun today - by far, no. The curiosity, the interest, had always been there. It was just a matter of... approaching the subject...
...whenever he shifted or adjusted his position, his sheath and little protrusion of flesh - since he was always at least somewhat hard when in the same bed as Gabriel - nudged further up under the pup's tail, which only made him that much harder... it was certainly a desire, no doubt about that. It was just one that he wasn't too comfortable with revealing, even though he loved Gabriel as much as he did-
He became aware of gentle claws on the back of his paw, of the arm he had around Gabe. "Barry..."
"Huh? Yes?"
"Everything okay?"
"I-" Goddamn, how did he know? "Yeah. Sorry. I got a little lost in thought."
Gabriel shifted, which pulled a little, breathy "rrf-" from the shepherd behind him. "You aren't... still thinking about if I love you, are you?"
"No, no. I know you do. It's..." He trailed off, and nuzzled into the pup's neck. "Gabe, I..."
"What?" Gabriel rolled over to face him. A gentle press forward told him that he wasn't the only one with an eager warmth between his legs.
"I want you."
Eyes of cloudy quartz flicked between his. "Again? Really, hon, I thought that I'd be-"
"No, no, Gabe - I... want you to..." God. Lowered ears, averted eyes. Barnett hadn't felt embarrassed like this in several years. Decades. "...to... fuck me."
He'd almost expected a smirk, a smile, some kind of something showing disbelief. Instead, he just got what he gave Gabriel whenever he wanted a cock under his tail: "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I - want to try."
Without saying anything else, Gabriel slid down the bed, having turned Barnett onto his back, and nosed up under the shepherd's sack. Barnett was too surprised at first to say anything - and when his mind had settled enough to form coherent thought, the blissful sensation of a warm tongue on his tailhole just muddled it all back up. He moved his legs apart a little for Gabriel, who continued on him as he'd often received... God, so this was why the pup was so wriggly under the caresses of a tongue. Barnett had one paw on his belly and the other at his side; just the feeling of it, of the moist warmth circling around and occasionally teasing at pressing in, was enough to coax his cock further out of his sheath. It was Gabriel's paw that freed his knot.
A deep lick, a kiss, a draw of the nose up along his sack and underside of his length, and then Gabe said "Get on your knees, hon."
It took Barnett effort to open his eyes. "Huh?"
"Trust me. I've been in this position - well, I should say, you've had me in this position - and, it's... not really the best, unless you know what you're doing. So, c'mon... up. Up, daddyshep."
Shaky legs...! All of, what, two minutes, if that, and Barnett was glad that he had his paws to help hold himself up, because otherwise, he'd topple over. He looked back, saw Gabriel behind him running a paw up and down his shaft as he shifted into position... and he felt a quiver of reluctance disturb his heartbeat.
"Gabriel..."
A warm paw on his rump, thumb holding his tail to the side. "Mm?"
"Be careful."
"Of course." The paw moved away, and then came the unfamiliar pressure of a tapered cocktip against his pucker. He shivered. "Just let me know when you're ready, hon. I'll go slow, and I'll be gentle - and you just let me know if I'm going too fast or if you want me to stop, okay?"
...Vulnerable. That's how he felt. Someone he loved had hurt him deeply in the past, although unintentionally, and he'd never truly opened his heart to him... and, here he was now, showing to Gabriel a side of him that nobody had ever seen before, a side that he sometimes almost wished he didn't have. This was as open as he could possibly be - his heart, his feelings, were little glass trinkets he'd placed in the mutt's paw. The slightest of missteps, the smallest of slips, and they would shatter into pieces...
It terrified him. It terrified him, and yet at the same time, it invigorated him.
He swallowed. "Okay."
"Ready?"
"Yeah."
Gabriel moved one paw to the middle of the shepherd's lower back while he kept the other under his tail to guide his shaft, and started to press in slowly, slowly. Barnett, eyes closed, unconsciously bit his lip and dug his claws into the fabric of the bed; first there was only that pressure, and then a bit of pain, as he'd expected. He sucked in a breath against the little flare of pain, and did so quietly enough so as to not alert Gabe - he had to hold down the noises that tried to escape his throat as the mutt sank deeper into him.
"Gabe-" he panted. Sure, there was pleasure beneath that pain... somewhere... hopefully. With the natural contours of a canine cock, Gabriel's flared out past the tip, then turned into a smooth curve of in and back out, further stretching Barnett as he pushed in.
The mutt stopped, and Barnett heard his breath catch in his throat. "Huh? Yes? Everything okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"I'm fine, just - slow down, please. Thick."
Gabriel started to pull back a little, which caused a whole different sort of sensation and sound. "Thick? Hon, have you seen yourself? I used to wonder if I could fit all of you into my muzzle..."
At this rate, though, Gabriel was indeed thicker - Barnett felt his erection diminishing due to the myriad of feelings and sensations, not all good. However, there was still the mutt's presence and the fact that he was doing this - something that Barnett had, admittedly, wanted for a while - that kept him wanting it, that held his attention and desire. He - shivered, he swallowed, he shuddered; still Gabriel pressed, sank into him, slower than before, more considerate... Barnett wanted to enjoy it. He really did. He felt the same desire that he did in the shower earlier in the day, the same fire, but...
He shifted. "Gabriel-"
A little bit of nausea; he could feel the pup's wide knot against his rump. Honestly, he hadn't thought that he'd be able to get this far - again, he just wanted to try. "Yes?"
"That's... I've had enough."
"Oh - yeah, sorry, here... give me a moment..."
Barnett sucked in a gasp when the mutt pulled out of him, and then, after a moment, rolled onto his back. The tip of his cock still protruded from his cinnamon sheath.
"You okay?" Gabriel stepped back - he was still definitely in the mood, based on his throbbing and drooling length.
"Yeah..." Sore already, but it wasn't bad. Barnett gently coaxed his shaft back out with a finger and a thumb. God, he tingled all over... "C'mere, pup. You've got me all worked up, and I'm not done with you."
That put a smile onto Gabe's muzzle. He climbed onto the bed and got over the shepherd, so that their cocks pressed against one another. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Barnett tugged him down for a kiss; Gabriel breathed a soft sight out through his nose, from the extra pressure on his length. "So... you know what to do."
"Hon, you just... lie back and let me handle things."
Barnett closed his eyes again, although when he felt warm, moist pressure, this time it was on the end of his shaft, and from the mutt's lips. It was a feeling that almost made him buck upwards just to get more, but soon ,that pressure was replaced with a tighter, more tantalizing one, after a bit of shifting from the mutt above him.
He opened his eyes just in time to see Gabriel lowering himself onto his cock, one paw at its base and the other behind him, leaning back so that his own erection twitched in front of him. Slowly, he lowered himself down further; he did it with quite a bit more easier than Barnett had...
Perhaps it was a matter of practice. Perhaps Barnett would certainly try again.
He humped upward into the mutt as he descended, squeezing a gentle "ah~" out of him. Gabriel remained there for a moment, slowly moving his hips forward and back (which, to Barnett, felt - God-...), probably to get accustomed to the shepherd's girth. Then, he leaned forward, placed his paws on the bed on either side of Barnett's muzzle, and began his slow bouncing up and down. Both of the dogs were considerably worked up, and Barnett knew this wouldn't take too long - he could feel the pre drooled from Gabe's cock soak into his bellyfur, and when he brought his paw up to aid the mutt, he felt the warm, thick liquid stick to the pad of his thumb. Gabriel bounced up and down, already faster and more forcefully than a moment ago; heg panted through an open mouth, he removed his paws from the bed and instead pushed himself up by his legs - and the speed, the force the tightness - he clenched around Barnett more and more strongly, which he always did just before orgasm-
-and then he slammed down on him, not hard enough to tie as he sometimes did, but still with enough to force Barnett's orgasm out into him as he spurted his own cum out over the shepherd's belly, chest, neck, muzzle. Some hit his mouth; he licked it off.
Gabriel, panting, shuddered. "Mmf."
"Yeah. Yeah, I know."
"God."
"Yeah." Barnett ran a claw through the fur of the mutt's arm. He swallowed, trying to eliminate the dryness in his throat from his exhaustion and open-mouthed panting. "So..."
"So?..."
"Try again tomorrow?"
Gabriel smiled weakly. He hadn't moved; still Barnett was deep in him. "If you want..."
"I'm looking forward to it."