FSE

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Chapter 14: Inflicting Pain and Seeking Comfort

"Ohhhh...Kat's Alive! I hate being gassed." Feral groaned as he managed to roll to a seated position.

"Umph...I can second that!" Razor hissed angrily as he too sat up slowly. "I want to bash my partner's head in for doing that once I find out why he did it."

Feral blinked in shock. "Your partner did this to us?"

"Yeah. I recognized the gas. It's one of mine." Razor said flatly, looking around.

Feral started to move when his palm encountered the note. Frowning, he picked it up and began to read it. His eyes widened and he was shaking with anger by the time he finished it.

Razor had seen him pick up the note and watched him as he read it. His eyes narrowed behind his mask as he saw Feral turn to him, fury flashing in his golden eyes.

"Here you read it!" Feral hissed, barely able to contain himself from ripping the note to pieces.

Razor took it from Feral and read:

"Dear Uncle Ulysses and Razor,

Sorry we had to do this but it's for yours and Razor's own good. A therapist suggested we put the two of you together and allow you to work out your obvious pain and anger. How you do this is your own affair. We have provided you with all that you need and will be keeping guard over you but you will not be released until you solve your problems with each other. We are praying for a good outcome.

Sincerely,

Felina, The Sergeant, T-Bone"

Razor reread the note and still couldn't believe what he was reading. He looked up and saw Feral had gotten to his feet and was banging on the door. Dropping the note, Razor went to his side and checked the lock. He searched his pockets and discovered he had been stripped.

"Damn it! He's taken everything off me and insured the lock and door were very strong." Razor snarled.

"They did the same to me." Feral said bitterly. "So now what do we do?" He asked angrily, glaring at Razor.

"Don't look at me! I'm stuck here too!" Razor growled.

"They planned this! If you two hadn't interfered in enforcer business we wouldn't be here." Feral snapped back.

"Oh funny, haha! Don't lay that crap on me. T-Bone's the one who decided to check out an alarm which was probably set by your niece." Razor rumbled flatly. "Doesn't matter how it happened, we're still stuck here until we 'discuss' our issues."

"I have nothing to say to you!" Feral bite off.

"Same here!" The smaller SWAT Kat snapped.

They both walked around the room and avoided each other. They poked and prodded at every corner looking for a weakness of any kind but their 'captors' had been very careful to ensure they could not find a way out.

They met again in the middle of the room, fuming.

Feral felt a slow burn of frustration building within him. 'How dare they interfere? If he wanted to wallow in his misery, it was no ones' business but his own.' He thought angrily. 'I hate being psychoanalyzed! I wish everyone would just stay out of my head!'

Razor glanced at Feral from the corner of his eye. He could see the tom was building up a fine fury and it was only a matter of time before it spilled all over him. He didn't know what to think of what Felina and his partner had done. It was obvious the two...no three...somehow Feral's Sergeant had also been part of this...were very concerned for the both of them.

'Was it that obvious?' He wondered. A grimace flashed across his face for a moment. 'Hell yeah, it had been obvious.' He thought bitterly. He was miserable and angry. Feral had pushed him away during the whole sorry affair and it rankled. He had been the father and he was grieving too, dammit, but Feral insisted in pretending it was in the past and had no bearing on the now. But neither of them were moving on. The grief hadn't been released and still clung to them both.

"It was my kitten too! I'm hurting just like you are but you act like it never happened...but it did and...I...can't ...forget...about...it!" Razor finally shouted angrily. "It's not going to go away. It happened! Okay! It happened and you are going to face that!"

Feral glared at him. "Or what!" He snarled furiously, fur fluffing up.

"I'll make you feel it!" Razor hissed suddenly as he charged Feral. Months of frustrated emotions spilled out in a flurry of fists.

Feral found himself being driven back against a wall as Razor came at him hard and fast. As the first few blows rained down on his chest, arms and face, he was momentarily stunned by the fury behind the strikes but he quickly recovered and began getting in his own licks.

He slapped out with one of his large fist and connected with Razor's chest, sending him flying to the opposite side of the room.

Razor was made of sterner stuff and was on his feet in a second, charging the big tom again. Ducking under a power house swing, he dropped to the floor and swept Feral's feet out from under him.

Feral rolled quickly and was back on his feet. He caught a flying kick meant for his head and twisted Razor down and to the floor. He tried to pin the slippery smaller Kat but Razor used both his legs to kick Feral solidly backward.

For the next hour they traded blows using a variety of different fighting skills. Razor's smaller size allowed him to duck and weave quickly and be able to strike devastating blows that truly hurt then ducking away again.

Feral's larger size and powerful frame allowed him to absorb most of the blows that would have taken out a lesser opponent. He used that to his advantage to catch the faster moving Razor and deliver some hard hits of his own.

They hit the floor and walls rather frequently and were beginning to leave blood painting the surfaces they encountered.

Outside the door, T-Bone listened anxiously. So far the fight seemed to be evenly matched. Neither seemed to be winning over the other. He was relieved about that, it told him they were not out to kill each other but were going to punish each other thoroughly before they were through. Sighing, he went back upstairs and let them be.

Feral's greater size and strength finally overcame Razor's speed and agility. Exhaustion probably had a lot to do with it though as Razor was beginning to tire. The dark tom feinted a right hook and Razor bought it. That was all Feral needed to snatch the smaller Kat from the air and pin him in a half nelson on the floor. As skilled as Razor was, there was no way he was getting out of this hold.

They stayed in that position on the floor, panting and dripping blood for several minutes.

"Concede!" Feral panted into Razor's ear.

"Never!" Razor hissed.

"You can't escape. Concede!" The dark tom spit angrily.

"I...won't...concede! You'll have to break something first." The smaller Kat said tightly.

Feral froze. He realized he couldn't do that. He couldn't deliberately hurt Razor and that made him even angrier. He tightened his hold and Razor choked, clawing Feral's arms as his air was cut off. As he struggled desperately, Feral suddenly released him and rolled away to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling.

Razor laid still coughing and choking as he recovered. Finally he was able to roll to his side and stare at Feral laying not far away.

Only the sound of their harsh breathing was heard for many minutes then Razor kicked out with one foot and caught Feral hard in his hip sending him across the floor.

Snarling in fury, Feral rolled to a squat and lunged for Razor who was a tad slow in getting away. The big tom's arms wrapped around the smaller tom's thighs and dragged him to the floor. Razor smacked him in the head hard enough to rock Feral's head back and seeing stars. It had the effect of making Feral let go.

Scrambling to his feet, Razor crouched, waiting for Feral to come at him again. Shaking his ringing head, Feral got to his feet and stared at his opponent with narrowed eyes. They were both tired but the anger still burned.

"It's my body that suffered...not yours. You have no reason beyond the conception to be involved in any way about what occurred and how I deal with it!" Feral said coldly.

"That's where you're wrong! It takes two to create life and it doesn't matter that it was forced, I was still responsible for its existence. Now that it's gone, I have as much right to grieve as you. I'm angry because I could see the toll it was taking on you and wanted desperately to comfort you and in turn get comforted but you pushed me away...repeatedly. I'm not made of stone...I hurt...I grieve...I want you! You make it so damn hard to care but you're burned into my mind and body and I can't put you away. If that makes you unhappy...too bad!" Razor said in anguish, his throat closing with unshed tears.

Feral reared back in shock. He turned away suddenly, unable to face the grief in the smaller SWAT Kats face. It made the cold knot in his chest tighten even more, the pain and grief welling up and trying to choke him. He didn't want this...he didn't want to feel...it was soo much easier shoving it away and being cold and strong. Breaking down emotionally just wasn't his thing...but the anguish was too intense, the memory too fresh for him to hide it behind the wall in his mind where he'd tried to keep it. His sleep was haunted with dreams of dead kittens and he'd wake screaming, a cold sweat beading his skin. Closing his eyes to rest was now something he dreaded.

Suddenly, he felt a strong pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist. He shuddered and kept his eyes closed not wanting to see the one holding him.

"Let go...Ulysses...let go! We've both been fighting so hard and trying to be soo strong that we're actually losing everything important to us. I don't know about you but I'd like to be able to sleep again. We're dead if we don't deal with this. It messes with our heads too much!" Razor pleaded anxiously against Feral's throat, being too short to reach the tom's face.

Feral shuddered again and swallowed hard, a tear escaped from under his closed lids despite his effort at reigning in his emotions.

Razor allowed his own tears to fall as he hugged the big tom tighter in his arms.

Unable to hold his head up any longer, Feral let it drop to rest on top of the cinnamon tom's, surrendering to the embrace and draping his own arms above Razor's. He still could not let go so trembled on the edge for a long time as they stood there leaning on each other, silent and still.

Felina walked into the factory trailed by the Sergeant. They followed the sound of a TV to an office where T-Bone was sitting on an old office chair with his feet on the desk and watching something on the set.

He looked up when they walked into the room. "Hi, so far they didn't try to kill each other and the last time I checked, about an hour ago, it had quieted down. Wish we could look in an see how they are doing but I don't dare open the door." He said, not bothering to get up.

"Well that's good news. I wish we could peek in too but you're right it not worth the risk." Felina sighed, turning to the Sergeant, she asked, "Want to go down with me and do a little hard listening?"

"Sure! I hope there's something good to hear." He said with a sigh.

Felina just nodded and went back out to the hallway and made for the stair leading down. Flicking the switch on, they quietly walked down to the basement then to the door behind which was silence. Felina and the Sergeant leaned against the door and listened hard but still there was nothing but silence.

Eyeing each other in concern, they moved back from the door to talk softly.

"What do you think? Asleep, maybe?" Felina asked the Sergeant.

"It's truly hard to tell without opening the door." The Sergeant said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, if they were fighting an hour ago, it may be likely they are asleep or just silent with each other. I guess all we can do is wait and watch. It might not be until morning before they ask to be let out." Felina said, frowning thoughtfully.

"You're probably right. Let's go back to the SWAT Kat and set up a monitoring schedule." The Sergeant said, already walking back toward the stairs.

"Yeah, okay." She said, giving the door a parting look before following him.