Ander - Part 5: Subchapter 16
16
A single tear ran down Hezzi's cheek, amplifying the already cold breeze into a freezing line against his face. He would allow himself one tear, but no more. One was enough to show his grief, but any more than that would only make Father sad. He had given his drisa only one request on his deathbed - to get out, to leave this place while there was still time, and he had failed miserably, just like always.
Hezzi planted his hands against the scratchy wooden railing of the watch tower and looked out over the forest, the trees bending in the wind, whispering to each in the loud way that could only signify foul weather on the move.
He looked to the East, wondering if the spirits of the great Wolves who leave this world really do drift up to the Cora riding the ashes of their funeral pyres, like Mother always said, but the top half of the Cora could not be seen through the thick layer of clouds filling the sky. Was Father really up there right now, straining to see through the coming storm, just like he was, or was it all just a story to ease the pain? Maybe he was somewhere else entirely? How could he know? How could anyone know? There was no way to find out without dying, and that was something that might not be too far from happening.
"Father..." Hezzi whispered, not really believing that he could be heard all the way down here on this earth, even from the top of the tallest watch tower, but speaking anyway. He needed to say this. He needed to explain. "I'm sorry. I tried to do what you asked, but..."
*
"Why not!?" Hezzi almost screamed. He breathed hard, fighting to keep his emotions under control. A lot has happened, and he feared that if he slowed down, even for a moment, the full force might hit him all at once. He needed to move, he needed to act, he needed to do something! More specifically, he needed to do what Father had asked of him. That's why he was sitting in this dark and dreary double-tent with the deer pelt partition running down the middle, pleading for her to listen.
But Lana only shook her head. "I can't leave, Hezzi. Maybe if you use that waste of space between your ears for a change, you'll understand why."
"No, you're the one who doesn't understand! My Father is dead, Lana! Dead! The one Wolf who was keeping this tribe from falling apart! We have to get out of here, tonight, before things..." Hezzi took a long, shuddering breath and ran his fingers through his hair, but it was hard. He couldn't calm down and he couldn't think properly. Every time he tried he'd just see his Father's face staring up at him from that smelly table, and a voice would echo up from out of nowhere, saying_: He's dead, he's dead, your father is dead..._ "I don't know what kind of trouble is coming, but Father seemed to think it will be bad, maybe even killing bad. That's why we can't stay here."
"And what do you propose we do, boy?" Lana spat. "Just up and leave with naught but the clothes on our backs and wander into the forest? Then what? Sit around placing bets on how we die? I put the odds at three to one we get gutted in our sleep by a wandering band of Wardo's drones against freezing to death in the night."
"No, Ander told me that if things got bad, I should go to him, and Father said the exact same thing. All we have to do is cross the river to the East, then hug the Cora going downstream until we reach the -"
"How do you even know Ander is still alive? And even if we do reach the place he was trying to get to, what makes you think the Foxes will be of any help? What makes you think they won't turn us away or shoot an arrow in our throats the moment we show up?"
"They won't, Ander said they're friendly."
"They may be friendly, but I doubt they're stupid. Taking in a bunch of fugitives would only spell disaster for them."
"Why are you being such a... a..." Hezzi knew he shouldn't say it, but he couldn't stop himself, "...bitch!?"
Lana regarded him with the coldest stare he had ever seen in his entire life. "Maybe if I'd been more of a 'bitch', my brother would still be able to walk."
A lump of shame suddenly fell in the pit of Hezzi's stomach. After the shock of losing his father, he had almost forgotten about what had happened to Danado.
"Is... is it really that bad?"
"See for yourself." She got up and lifted the partition, motioning for him to go through, but the dark corner beyond that hanging skin was the last place on earth he wanted to be right now. Too much had happened in too short a time. If any more piled up he didn't know what he'd do.
"What are you waiting for? You want to know why I can't leave, don't you? You want to know why I'm being such a bitch? Come on. The answer is right through here."
Hezzi went up to the skin and peered in, but he did not step over the line. He could see just fine from here.
Danado was sleeping against the far side, breathing softly. He was covered in a thick bear pelt, but his hands and one of his feet were sticking out from underneath, and one look was enough to make him understand exactly why Lana couldn't leave.
His fingers and toes were wrapped up tightly in strips of Wolf's Ear leaves, the same as the medicine Mother had used to treat the cut in his stomach, but there was something horribly wrong here. At first he thought it was merely the crimson lines of blood that had slowly leaked out through the seams, or maybe the bowl of pinkish water standing in the corner, but that wasn't it, either.
No, the reason this was so wrong was much more subtle, but far more horrifying. Danado's fingers and toes were all too short. Much too short. He knew what had happened, everybody did, but to actually see it was something else.
There was no way he'd be able to make it on those feet. Not through the woods, or the river, or up the mountain. There was just no way.
"Will he ever get better?"
"The wounds will close, if that's what you mean. And maybe, someday, he'll even be able to walk again without pain. But he'll never be the same."
"Maybe we can carry him?" Hezzi ventured. "Or build a stretcher, or -"
Lana snorted. "That'll slow you down, and who knows how far this 'sanctuary' is?"
"It can't be that far, if Ander believed he could make it in his condition."
"Oh grow up, Hezzi!" Lana snapped. "It wouldn't have mattered if the Foxes were one hour away or one week! Ander would have tried to drag his body over the mountain regardless. The truth of the matter is, you have no idea how far it is, do you?"
"Well, not exactly, no."
"I will not drag my brother through such pain and torture, at a snail's pace no less, only to be captured halfway. Without the Chieftain, it would only spell death for us all."
This was one of the bigger tents in the village, but it suddenly felt very cramped, and the smell of blood, which had been masked by herbs up until this point, now started snaking its way through the shadows, wafting up from the water bowl in the corner and from Danado's mutilated digits. Hezzi didn't want to be in this place anymore. "I understand," he said, bowing his head. "I'm sorry I disturbed you like this."
Lana grumbled and shook her head. "Don't be like that. It's just... if you try something, be careful, all right? Don't do anything stupid."
"I won't."
"And... if you absolutely have to do something stupid... Good luck, okay?"
She extended her hand, and Hezzi shook it. "Thanks, Lana."
She gave him a smile, but it did not touch her eyes. They were just as cold and angry as when he came in, and just as sad. "Now get going, runt. Before somebody notices you snooping around where you don't belong."
Hezzi left them and stepped out into the afternoon sun. The shadows were all short and stubby, warning him that half the day was already gone. He'd have to hurry.
He kept his head low and skirted around the edge of Lana and Danado's tent, aiming to go around the back, where there weren't as many Wolves standing around, talking in hushed tones of the Chieftain's sudden passing, when suddenly a different sound caught his ears, coming from inside the tent he had just left. He made to hurry on, not wanting to eavesdrop, but his own name gave him pause.
"Hezzi's right, sis. You should go with him."
"Oh, Dan... how long have you been pretending?"
"Since he came in. I heard everything."
"I know what you're going to say, and the answer is no, so you might as well not say it."
"I'm gonna say it even if you do say no, and I'll keep saying it until you say yes."
"No."
"Lana..."
"No!"
"You have to leave me behind."
"NOOOO!!"
Something inside shattered with an ear-splitting crack and Hezzi hurried on, his face burning with shame, but he wasn't quick enough to escape the sound of Lana's sobs, soft and muffled, as if she were crying onto the shoulder of someone who understood all too well what true sacrifice really meant.
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