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Tales from Silicon City: Rump Roast

By Psion

All Rights Reserved

Silicon City, recession-stricken home of California's many high-tech industries as well as one of the many bastions of the West Coast "Ecotopian" lifestyle. Another beautiful, deceptively peaceful night had fallen upon the city. In the dark back alleys and forgotten side streets of the city, the domain of police, masked heroes, and the villains they hunted, it was business as usual. Crimes were committed, crimes were foiled, and the status quo continued its sum zero games. Except in one particular block in the industrial district...

Rump Roast grimaced as she focused her attention on a particular food processing plant within the city. Not so much because of who owned the facility or what she knew they were doing though both could be seen as the stuff of nightmares to those within the know. No, tonight's discreet vigil was made all the more trying by whom the fat brown-haired vixen was sharing her rooftop with.

Across the rooftop from the masked fox in a ketchup-colored bodysuit was a brown rabbit dressed in a green hooded unitard with cherry red gloves, boots, and a utility belt bulging with seed pouches. This was Demeter, a fellow stout super Rump Roast knew only all too well...

"Oi, nice night for a stakeout isn't it Moira?" The bottom-heavy Irish bunny commented coyly as both of them watched the building across the street. Yes, the big-bootied vixen knew her cohort very well.

"Not nice enough that I'd enjoy spending it with you Kelly, you skinny-arsed bimbo." The vixen replied automatically. Yes, the two of them knew each other quite well.

"Oh Moira, you're just jealous that you're as skinny as a rail standing next to a positively divine-looking Irish harvest queen like myself." The rabbit teased.

"Skinny as a rail?" The vixen replied, taking a moment to stare at her rival. "I think we've both been around the Americans for too long Demeter, we're starting to adopt their- wait, do you see that?" She interrupted herself as activity in the factory suddenly started to pick up. Lights came on as the nightshift got into full swing, making it impossible for the two of them to ignore the deafening roar of machinery.

A delivery van pulled to the plant and parked by the loading docks, the bright colorful logos of the EatRight Corporation emblazoned on the metal sides. A moment later, work crews began to quickly load the vehicle up with bargain-priced health foods... foods bulked with sawdust or promoted with false advertisements. Once the van was filled up, the driver took off to make his deliveries just as another one took his place to continue the process. From their concealed position, the masked girls continued to watch and carefully note license plate numbers, the apparent amount of security, and whether or not they successfully spotted anyone they recognized.

After a few hours of this, the girls left and went their separate ways. EatRight was undoubtedly a vile company, one that had to be taken down. But not tonight and not without a lot of planning and a fair bit of cunning; the health food company was very well entrenched and both girls suspected that there was more to it then met the eye. Better to just quietly gather information then either head off to return home or generate some goodwill foiling some more readily apparent and more easily defeated evil.

Rump Roast resisted the urge to roll her eyes until she was out of Demeter's sight. If the vixen didn't know any better she could have sworn that stupid rabbit was hitting on her. Which... well, Moira simply wasn't interested and that was all there was to it. Differences in orientation aside, the grilling-themed heroine was more concerned with taking EatRight and the handful of culinary supervillains that inhabited Silicon City down a notch. But that was a job for tomorrow night, tonight she wanted to take it easy and just cover the part of the city between her and her hideout in the university district.

Traveling out of the industrial parks and into the squalor of the Projects. The stout fox tightly gripped her gadget weapon, a pole arm that could change shape to resemble a giant spatula or an oversized barbeque fork, and tried to keep an eye on her surroundings. Somewhere in these trash-strewn alleys and squat concrete apartments was a new threat to the city, a demented individual armed with some kind of pneumatic food gun loaded with tomato sauce and other suspiciously Italian treats that ran around stuffing random women until they nearly burst. No one knew a lot about him, some male blubber ball red fox with an apparent force-feeding fetish and a surprising talent for hiding himself...

Boots slowly stomped against the hard pavement with a weighty stride as the brown-haired vixen walked along, triangular ears up and listening for the sound of someone trying to sneak up on her. Somewhere behind her was a second pair of feet with another heavy, waddling stride. Squeezing a switch near the middle of her "staff," Rump Roast wreathed the head of her spatula in a halo of electricity and started to turn around. Too slow, by the time she faced her pursuer the British vixen was blasted in the face with a slurry of red sauce and a cocktail of familiar tasting herbs and spices. Licking and wiping the tomato sauce from her face, she was not entirely surprised to see who the latest vile super-chef to arrive in Silicon City was.

"King Cuisine? I guess Europe wasn't enough for you." She lamented sourly, balefully glaring at the fat fox dressed in black boots, tomato red stretch pants, and a "pasta yellow" chef jacket.

King Cuisine smirked behind his "executioner's hood"-style chef hat as he cradled a stainless steel pneumatic "food gun" in his arms. "Oh Rump Roast... so good to see you again. Yes, I decided I needed a change of scenery and visit the United States, especially this California. Such a stupid state, full of aptly named health nuts and other fools that so willingly deny themselves this country's marvelous wealth. It fills me with so much joy to see such exquisite ladies like Creampuff and yourself here, proper females who know how to indulge."

Rump Roast did her best to avoid rolling her eyes. "Good to see that some things don't change, like the fact that you still don't think the world is fat enough for your tastes. So are you going to surrender quietly or will I have another chance to test this shock mode on you?" She asked smugly.

"Oh you know how I love it when they put up a good fight." Cuisine replied sinisterly, raising his weapon and pulling the trigger. Almost immediately the Anglican avenger's face was covered with a splat of spicy tomato sauce. While blinded, she could still hear her opponent moving in for the follow up. Much as she would have loved gaining a few pounds on Demeter, she was hardly inclined to let it be to King C's satisfaction.

Rump Roast countered by hitting him with a small spray gun full of appetite stimulants. As soon as the contact stimulants seeped into the pores of his skin, the other fox's eyes went wide, his pupils dilated, and immediately turned his food-spraying gun on himself, shoving the rifle-shaped pneumatic sprayer into his mouth and pulling the trigger to sate his sudden bout of insatiable hunger. His belly bloated and swelled as the todd bled the stainless steel container on his back dry, leaving the ballooned villain open for a swing from the vixen's spatula. Electricity arced off her comical pole arm and stunned the feeder villain, making him seemingly pass out. Yet the vixen had no sooner looked away to pull some restraints out of her utility belt then King Cuisine vanished, somehow managing to mobilize himself to disappear in an instant.

Sighing and shaking her head as she quickly looked around, Moira switched her staff off and continued her walk home. That blasted Cuisine was an incredibly slippery one, how he always escaped was a mystery she desperately wanted to solve. Ah well, at least she knew who the crazed feeder was, something to pass onto the others when she got a chance. For now though, it was time to go home and maybe have a nice long snack to end the night.

Part of a strip of eateries that catered to the local population of college students, Moira Ahebban ran a small restaurant when she wasn't out fighting evil fat or fit as Rump Roast. Yet after putting away her costume, utility belt, and spatula, she still wasn't ready to call it a night just yet. First she wanted to visit a friend of hers for a good meal, indulge herself for a bit and pass on what she had learned, then she would consider going to bed and get ready for tomorrow's lunch and dinner crowd.

The Chinese restaurant wasn't particularly large, just a small storefront sandwiched between several others in the part of the city that had been nicknamed "Foodie Row." A small seating area was set to one side of the long and narrow space, the sounds of cooking echoing from behind the counter in the back of the eatery. Dressed in slacks, a sky-blue buttoned shirt, and a comfortable pair of shoes, Moira Ahebban slowly sauntered up towards the kitchen and the plump panda cooking up a storm inside of it.

"Hello Shi. How are you this evening?" She asked cordially.

"Hello Moira! Today was good day, lunch very busy. So busy I almost had to add some spirit to my step." Shi the plump panda replied with a knowing smile. Shi Yon Fat, also known as the panda heroine Iron Wok, was a speedster able to run faster then most sports cars. In addition to giving her an unnatural quickness that belied her plumpness, it allowed Shi to sneakily cut down on prep time drastically and help cook food much quicker. And of course, needless to say, both of them knew about each other's double lives. Pretty much all of the chefs in Foodie Row were superheroines and aware of each other's secret identities, there probably was a joke in there somewhere but Moira wasn't particularly inclined to go and dig it out.

Ahebban chuckled upon hearing about her friend's good fortune. "Well then, that's good then. Care to cook a friend up something for a late night snack?"

Shi returned her friend's chuckle and started cooking a plate piled high with Chinese dumplings. The scents of shrimp and porvine pork gently wafted out of the kitchen as Shi suddenly flew through prepping and cooking dumplings. Moira took a seat near the back and was served less then a minute later. Soft, broad thighs squeezed into the booth as the vixen started to eat. As Ahebban dug in, Shi Fat sat down across her friend and watched her eat. This was Shi's thing, the opposite side of the same coin King Cuisine was on. He took sadistic pleasure in exerting some kind of twisted control over people with food, the panda took pleasure in seeing people happily eating and enjoying the food she prepared.

Enjoying the privacy of the empty restaurant, the two females talked about their other selves, talking about King Cuisine and what his presence might mean for the city. He was crazy, that was certain, but hardly the most dangerous individual in Silicon City. Still, couldn't let him run around fattening people up who didn't want it. Much as both girls like being soft and squishy, the reason behind King Cuisine's antics hit on another matter, that no one should be free to force their dogma on someone else. Not the fitness nuts, not them, no one. Meaning once they figured out where he was hiding, the girls were going to have to get together and demonstrate to him just exactly why their food-based weaponry was better then his.

Another successful day under her belt next to a belly full of several pounds worth of Chinese dumplings, Moira started to lean back and enjoyed the contented bliss of a good meal and an evening well-spent when Shi asked her a question that briefly caught her off guard.

"Do you remember the name of the vixen that was with Brittany and Samantha when they stopped by a while ago? The blond sliver fox?" The panda asked suddenly

"Can't say that I do unfortunately. I think it was something with a K. I can't remember though, pity as I think I liked her. Why do you ask?" The stout vixen replied.

"Oh I just thought she was cute, that's all. And I would have loved to see her again." Shi answered longingly.

"With or without showing your affections with a shower of treats?" Moira teased.

"Either or." The Chinese chef answered simply with a sly smile, ending dinner with a cheerful air of mystery...