[17] Personal Log #3
#17 of Arctacia Mythos
Personal log recorded by A.Z.
[The following is an audio transcript.]
Decided to record this one by voice. I've just woken up and I need to get this off my mind while it still remains fresh.
I had another strange dream. It was...it felt very real...like I had experienced it before and my mind is just now remembering it. It started off like I was a...lion, it seemed. I was idly traversing around a rather beautiful grassland. A moment later, I happened upon this crystal clear lake, its waters were so pure and cool. I gazed down at the surface and saw my own reflection, a majestic leonine face as well as expected. But then...before I dipped my head to take a drink...it all went black. There was no sign nor sound, no sense of danger...it was just...abrupt.
Then...a moment later...from seemingly nowhere, I heard the dark and metallic sounds of something so alien and artificial, buzzing and whining in my ears. I found myself opening my eyes as the bright lights overhead flooded my vision, beaming down on me relentlessly and making it difficult to make anything else out. I could then hear the faint muffling of voices and could just barely see the silhouettes of others as they hovered around me. I was still not fully conscious to gain any more insight than what I had already. The chatter of the others didn't make any sense to me and was completely foreign.
Shortly after, I then heard and felt myself lift my head and cry out in a loud growl as a sharp, cold needle suddenly pierced into my arm. I glanced over at the fuzzy visual of this, the needle held by one of the others as more chatter could be heard. I dropped my head back down as I could feel a strange chill sweep over my entire body, a slight tingling could be felt all around. It was like I was being violated and changed by some unknown force from the inside. The thought terrified me greatly. I could feel my heart beat faster and my breathing growing hoarse. The sounds of the chatter grew intense. My vision began to go starry and full of strange colors, shimmering and fading fast. Then...there was nothing once more. This mental void I was in was oddly peaceful in contrast to just moments before. I wasn't sure how long I was out for, but that didn't matter.
I was then suddenly forced awake as I heard myself roar out in the worst pain I could fathom. The deep, cold, metallic, and piercing pain of something sharp was forced right into my spine. The pain and agony from it was too much for me to bare. For awhile, I couldn't focus on anything else but that horrible, horrible pain. I finally managed to open my eyes and noticed I was laid down on my stomach, my back exposed to whatever damned device was behind me, torturing me constantly as it simply did not give way. I then felt something growing inside me, filling me at every extreme. Whatever this was, it was worse than the previous thing that happened. They were like something small that I could feel slithering along and traveling to different parts of my body, one at a time, one right after the other...gliding around until they found a place to settle within me. I felt myself shiver as the pain persisted and only grew worse with every moment. But as this went on, I became oddly more aware. Thoughts and feelings started to have more depth. Concepts and ideas were becoming clearer and understood. Then, like a strange and mystical viper, a voice crawled over me and seemed to whisper in my ear with as equally a chilling and violating feeling as everything else, "You are now mine. Your purpose is nothing more than to be a shell of what I am. Anything you are now, or were, will be changed...or erased."
I then lifted my head as a loud ringing sounded in my ears. A flood of images and ideas rapidly hit me in overwhelming succession. I could hear all sorts of voices and sounds swim around in my head. I then cried out and actually heard myself speak out in words that I was not capable of before. "Please! Stop the pain! Why are you doing this to me?! I just want to die!" I then shouted out and actually felt myself crying heavily...tears were rushing down my face. I then suddenly began to feel and notice something happening to me now that I would never wish upon another creature in all of creation. I saw the tawny fur on my paws begin to mutate and shift violently towards a deep black color, the very core and structure of them were being transformed from the inside out...and I could feel every inch of it. I was painfully being altered in what felt like prickling of tiny needles and cold wiring that crawled along and pierced second after every relentless second. This very process was slowly creeping along up my arms to a point I could no longer see. But, I knew it was heading for the rest of me as I could feel it continue to work its way. I cried out as loud as I could as I felt the last moments of this transition heading towards my head. My vision filled with blood as I witnessed myself becoming blind, my very eyes decayed and broken down, my consciousness fading and being completely torn. Stars flooded what was left of my vision and the daunting sounds of static, screams, and loud garbled sirens blared inside my head until...I...
Until I could not feel...anything...
I was numb...a helpless captive of whatever strange force had infiltrated and raped me of the creature I once was. I was a shell...just as the voice had told me I would be. The cold, steel strings of this new entity pulled at my every whim. I was no longer in control of who I was...physically or mentally. I felt so detached from all this, like I was merely an observer now to anything I ever did... I was practically...a puppet.
It was then that I woke up, shivering in a cold sweat, gasping for practically life itself...and I was crying...
What gods do you turn to for help when you have no gods that you can believe in?