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Chapter 23: Wet Dreams

Lea awoke with a start to realize that she'd been dreaming about Kilyan again, the same wet dreams she'd been having of him since the day he fell on top of her. But this time the dream ended sadly. It had started out that she and Kilyan were touching each other in a passionate frenzy and she was hot and pumping and eager to accept him. And then Kilyan's paw touched her sex and he realized she wasn't a virgin anymore. In the dream, Kilyan was disgusted and he rejected her. She woke up crying. Julyan's sister had heard her sobs through the wall and come in to comfort her.

Julyan's sister really was the nicest thing ever. She looked very much like Julyan, only her eyes were not lavender but a dark greenish-blue like the sea. That was the first thing Lea thought when she met Julyan's sister. She had wanted to call her Ocean Eyes, and she did, making Julyan's sister laugh -- though her real name was Ceara. Lea was fascinated by Ceara: such a large and yet beautiful female! And she was fascinated with the sun village much the same.

Just as Julyan had told Lea, the sun village was a bright and beautiful place. She saw bananas in the trees and flowers everywhere, bright, sunny markets with open booths, colorful birds wheeling across the sky. There were strange trees like slender sticks with leaves shaped like stars -- Julyan called them palm trees. And the buildings! The buildings were the best thing of all. Strange, square buildings made of brown brick and decorated with colorful paintings of fish and butterflies and frogs and the sun and stars. The brick huts were very cool and shadowy on the inside and ever so much more spacious than the thatch huts of the summer village.

The entire village itself was a cluster of square buildings on a great, sloping hill that jutted over the sea. Lea would never forget climbing up out of the tunnel with Julyan, stepping out into the dawn, and seeing the sun rising over the glittering ocean, over the great village on the hill. She had been in awe. She had never seen the ocean! The sight of it made her want to make love, and Julyan smiled and gave her what she asked for.

But Lea found the sun wolves more intriguing than anything else. Aside from the fact that the wolves were all huge like Julyan and his sister, these wolves wore jewelry and strange symbols. Sometimes the symbols hung around their necks like Julyan's, and other times the symbols were burned into their very fur. Lea couldn't believe it. Only lone wolves were burned! And then the males kissing in the very streets! Julyan laughed when Lea couldn't stop staring at this. But she had never seen males publicly kissing each other and the most astonishing part was that no one seemed to care! In the summer village tail chasers were supposed to do those things in private or in the forest or else they would be punished. In the winter village it was said they were stoned. But here in the sun village? Passionately kissing another male on the street seemed as natural as waving at him.

Now after a quiet meal of fish and vegetables with Julyan and Ceara, Lea had told them she wanted to sleep, and though it was the middle of the day, Ceara made a bed for her. Ceara truly seemed to pity Lea. She called her "Poor thing" over and over, much the way Julyan had, and she stroked Lea's mane and even brushed it for her, and petted her and put her to bed. Julyan had come in the room to say goodbye to Lea, that he had to go on his shift for home patrol but that he'd go straight to the village council for her the first chance he got. Julyan had then tried to turn away, but Lea had clung to him. One kiss? She might never see him again and he had been so kind to her! Julyan smiled and kissed her and said he hoped things went well for her if things turned out that way -- but he was certain he'd see Lea again, and she needn't worry. Lea had lain in the sleeping furs and watched Julyan leave, wondering if she'd ever see those lavender eyes again.

And then she'd fallen asleep, she'd had the wet dream which had turned into a nightmare, and now Ceara had come to comfort her.

"I have to go back down to my boat in a little while," Ceara told Lea as she stroked her mane, "and you're free to come with me if you like. The sea and the open air might do you some good."

But Lea had shaken her head vigorously. She was afraid to leave this hut! Afraid to go out there! What if she saw Eno? With Julyan gone, she no longer felt safe. Ceara seemed to understand. She told Lea to just stay in the hut then and that she'd see her at supper. Then Ceara left to go down to her boat, where she would spend the day casting nets to catch fish. And Lea lay there miserable and alone.

The dream had frightened Lea so badly that she started thinking that maybe she shouldn't go back to the summer village. She was a disgrace now -- she was no longer a virgin! And they would know at the mating season, everyone would know. And she was probably going to have that monster's pup. What would they think of her? And Kilyan! Would Kilyan even want her now that her gift to him had been taken? Now that another male's seed had been inside of her? On top of everything else, she had disgraced herself not only with Eno but with Julyan. Lying there on the sleeping furs and staring at the sunlight as it poured in, Lea still couldn't believe it. She had been so certain that Julyan would brush her off as a child, but then the moment she forced his paw between her legs was the moment he gave in to his passion.

Lea rolled onto her side and stared miserably at a clay pot that was pouring with flowers in a corner of the room. The flowers were leaning far over, as if they were trying to reach the bit of sunlight streaming in through the window and just missing them. Lea felt like those flowers: straining to reach out to the sunlight, straining to reach for a home, to feel warm and happy and secure again. But would she ever really feel those things? How could she ever go home as if nothing at all had happened? She felt as if she had walked through a door and she could not go back, and she felt as if by walking through that door that she had somehow left everyone and everything else behind.

Oh, Kilyan, I'm sorry! Lea let out a little sob and was horrified when her pussy started throbbing. No, no, she's mustn't feel these things for him -- she wasn't worthy anymore. She was like one of those trashy females that slept with anyone and anything, even before and after their first mating season. She had disgraced herself -- how could she let herself get tricked by Eno like that? And then all those times she could have escaped and she failed! She still remembered how she ran down into the wasteland when she could have ran back into the trees. She still remembered how she ran the wrong way in the wood, into the darkness, away from the village, and how Eno had laughed at her. And now because she had failed to get away, she would probably have that lunatic's child.

Lea closed her eyes and sobbed and thought again of Kilyan -- of Kilyan's dark, sculpted body, of his toned calves and his broad shoulders, of the way his tail smoothed over those tight buttocks. She thought of his eyes -- those gentle green eyes -- and that big clumsy paw that had grabbed her breast in his flustered attempt to climb off of her. The thought made her laugh through her tears. But he was lost to her now. He wouldn't want her anymore -- no one would want her anymore! She was a disgrace -- oh, if only this throbbing would go down!

Lea clapped her paw in anger and frustration over her bulging pussy lips, but she hesitated. Maybe she could make it go away, but she had never touched herself before! Lea bit her lip and looked out the window. She had lain here all day thinking of Kilyan and trying not to, hating herself, crying -- and now it was dusk. The sky was pink and the clouds were churning as the sun sank away. The wind swept coolly into the hut, ruffling her fur, dragging her mane across her eyes. Ceara would probably be home soon and maybe Julyan would be relieved of his duty and they would have supper and she could not sit through it with this hot, pumping passion between her legs!

Lea closed her eyes and spread her legs open wide. She had never touched herself before, and at first, she didn't know what to do. But she thought of the way Zalia had touched her and later Eno and later Julyan . . . She pinched one of her pussy lips and felt her body shiver. Yes, this was the release she was searching for -- the release from this craving! Now she dipped her fingers into her vagina opening and felt herself responding eagerly. She was shocked when her juices came gushing over her fingers, and then her pussy lips were swelling. God, it felt so delicious . . . She rocked her hips now, bit her lip to hold back a moan -- and then she realized that she was alone in the hut. She could make all the noise she wanted!

Lea arched her back and spread her legs wider and moaned. Ah, yes, if only this was Kilyan touching her here! And the thought made her passion mount all the faster. She stroked herself deeper now, and then as if it had only just occurred to her, she placed a timid paw on her breast and massaged. It felt nice, her own paw there working away, toying with the nipple, and she realized that having her breasts touched like this had always contributed to that hot ache between her thighs. She had never realized she enjoyed it so much!

"Oh . . . Kilyan -- ah!"

Lea stroked herself with deep, caressing strokes, her other paw working at her breast, and she was shocked to hear these things coming out of her, these sounds spilling from her lips as she caressed herself into a climax that was taking her breath away. She arched her back against the sleeping furs, thrust her breasts up at the ceiling, and the more this pleasure burned hot in her, the more she wriggled and moved on the furs, rotating her hips now against her fingers.

"Oh, Kilyan -- yes, touch me, Kilyan!"

And then it happened. Her juices gushed over her fingers, hot and sticky, and she released a cry and sank into the furs, her eyes closed, her breasts heaving. She thought to herself that maybe if she'd done that more often back at home, she wouldn't have suffered for want of Kilyan half as much!

Lea was brushing her mane out of her eyes when a voice shocked her into freezing:

"Oh, that was lovely."

Lea looked around in horror: Julyan was standing in the doorway! The curtain had been thrust aside without her even noticing, and he was leaning into the room, swinging himself in the door with his arms holding to the lintel above his head. There was a flower in his teeth and the lavender eyes were smiling at her.

Mortified, Lea covered her face, rolled over at once, and curled into a ball. Oh, god, he had seen her touching herself! He had seen her arching her back and thrusting out her breasts and calling Kilyan's name! She wanted to die! She sobbed. She heard him coming quietly into the room, and then she felt the warm brush of his fur, the soft scent of it as he sat beside her and playfully stroked her ear with the flower.

"Come now, Lea," he said gently. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. There's nothing wrong with pleasing yourself. I understand. Hell, it's not like I have a lover! How do you think I go on without cracking, seeing all this male flesh around the village that I can't have?"

Lea was shocked. It had never occurred to her that males touched themselves and fantasized. She felt foolish suddenly and her embarrassment only increased. She kept her face in her paws and tried to ignore the affectionate way in which he started stroking her mane back from her shoulder.

"God, you're still a pup," Julyan whispered. "I'm a terrible pervert for having you. But sweet thing that you are, I couldn't resist."

"Oh, don't say those things!" Lea moaned. She wasn't sweet. She was garbage, she was nothing -- she had let herself lay with two males before her first mating season!

Julyan was surprised and lifted his eyebrows, though Lea couldn't see it. "Why not? They are true things. You're a very sweet girl, Lea. Hasn't anyone ever told you that?"

Lea sniffed. "Who cares if I'm sweet? No one's going to want me anymore -- not after I've been disgraced before my first mating season!" She broke down in sobs just thinking about it.

Julyan let out a low moan, as if he understood at last what was going through Lea's mind. "Ah, this is about Kilyan, isn't it? You think he won't want you now that you've been taken?" He frowned sadly at this small, white thing shivering beside him. "Oh, Lea, I'm sure Kilyan will still want you! If he's as nice as you say, he probably loves you and won't care. I mean -- you were taken against your will! How could you have helped that?"

Lea said nothing. Julyan didn't know about all the times she could have escaped and had failed. He didn't know what a stupid fool she'd been! She sobbed harder and felt Julyan stroking her mane in sympathy.

"Come now, Lea." She felt him lean closer and he whispered happily, "I've got good news!"

Lea didn't want to look like she cared, but she sniffed and wiped at her tears and said, "W-What is it?"

"I went to the village council. We can form a party to take you back to your village tomorrow. They said they'd let me go with --"

Julyan had barely finished his sentence when Lea sprang up and threw her arms around him.

"Oh, Julyan, oh -- thank you! Thank you!" Lea sobbed.

Julyan smiled and held her. "Well, I usually keep promises I make to little goddesses. I rather think lightning would hurt."

Lea laughed.

Julyan pulled back and stroked her tears away. "Now I'm going to run down to market before it closes. You stay here and practice smiling. Pretty should never be sad." He touched her chin with a sad little frown, then got up and went toward the curtain.

Lea watched him go. Her father had said as much to her once. She wondered where Loryn was and what he was doing and if at that very moment . . . he was thinking of her.