Astral High - Chapter 26
#27 of Astral High
Well, this is an interesting chapter. Life is so much more complex than people realize... there's no such thing as- huh? Oh, yeah I'll stop talking now. :P
I enterred third period; advisory. Apparently it was only half an hour long, but we had it all year. I was considering switching, especially since I was the only one amongst the four of us who had it. I sat down at a back table and waited for things to happen. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder as I sat down and saw Titus behind me. I figured I was in his spot and moved. I didn't mind sitting at the same table as him, he didn't seem bothersome, so why bother moving somewhere with jocks or preps?
A minute or two went by, and I considered getting out my notebook to draw, when Tanner walked in, drumming on his leg. He sat down across the table from us and looked up just enough to realize I was now in his advisory.
He paused the music on his MP3 and greeted me with a smile, "So you're in this advisory, huh?"
"I guess."
"... Is something wrong?"
"Aside from the fact you have a reputation for being an asshole-"
"Wait, what? What makes you think that?"
"You bullied Ted and apparently Titus."
"Okay, Titus punched me, called me gay before I was, teased Marko for being gay, and called him gay before he came out about it. He had it coming."
Titus looked up, and I noticed his eyes were a bright, golden yellow. Seriously, it was hard to take my eyes off of, "You have no room to talk! You kissed the girl I had a crush on just to prove that you'd had one too, and you'd stopped having one and gone off with Marko! You ruined my life because I punched you for kissing her, and I'm the one who's an ass hole?!"
"Kiari had a thing for me, too, though, and all of us hated you. You were a jerk to us in the first place, and the only one you didn't make fun of was Kiari." [Tanner]
"Okay, why don't we just agree that both of you fucked up?" [Me]
"No!" [Tanner and Titus]
"See, you're already better friends!"
"Look, you're new, so I'll put this gently. You can't solve problems that easily, our history with each other runs a lot deeper than some little scuttle over Kiari. He's always been an ass-" [Tanner]
"Oh you're one to talk, mister I'm gonna kiss the girl you had a crush on even though I don't have a crush on her any more and I'm sucking some stupid tiger." [Titus]
"Wrong move, Titus." [Tanner]
"What was that?" [Me]
"Oh don't tell me you're gay too. Come on, there's no game any more." [Titus]
"Wh-what? Wouldn't more gays, like, make dating easier?" [Me]
"Nope. Because now not only do you have some girls checking you out, you've also got some guys checking you out, and some of those girls and guys have been together, and some of them are checking out both, others are checking out the other gender, and the rest are checking out their own gender." [Tanner]
"That's not the half of it. You never know when someone's straight, bi, gay, lesbian, or even transgender. Worse yet, some of the straight ones are okay with it, others aren't, and you don't know who is and who isn't. It's like the compllexities of dating got high and drunk in low gravity." [Titus]
"Well, you can be sure that me and my boyfriend won't be checking you out. Or liking to be around straight couples." [Me]
"Wait, so now there's two guys who are... heterophobic?" [Tanner]
"What's your problem with straight couples?" [Titus]
"I don't know, what's your problem with gay and lesbian couples?" [Me]
"Wait, you think I'd have- no no no no no. You don't understand. Actually, neither of you do. Nevermind." Titus turned around in his chair and got a notebook, writing something in it.
"... Titus." [Tanner]
"I'm not explaining."
"I don't think you need to." [Me]
"... Please god no..."
"See, I'm curious, are you more of a dom, or a sub?" [Tanner]
"Shut up."
"Hey, it's okay, if anything this means you've got more 'game'." [Me]
"... I... I'm not gay."
"Right..." [Tanner]
"I'm bi, you dolt. And, for the record, Marko isn't that cute- and neither are you."
"So, how long have you been-" [Tanner]
"Uhh... Maybe since a couple weeks after you ruined my life!" [Titus]
"What did he even do?" [Me]
"Well it was a nice day. After Tanner went off to go be fuck buddies with Marko, Kiari finally took a fucking interest in me. It was nice, life was finally good for me, and I was finally happy. Then, at lunch time, she pulled me off into a closet and started making out with me. This was amazing, it felt so nice to have someone who actually cared about me, and then the door opened, and she kicked me out of the closet, and the six of them shoved me around, punching me and kicking me, and calling me names. Marko kicked me in the crotch, and then in the stomach to push me back in the closet and close the door on me. They recorded the whole thing and threw it up on youtube."
"And it has twelve million views." [Tanner]
"Tanner, you're an asshole." [Me]
"Thank you!" [Titus]
"He punched me!" [Tanner]
"For being an asshole! You deserved to be punched!" [Me]
Titus grabbed me by the shoulders, "Is it okay if I kiss you in thanks-"
"Touch my lips and you die."
"A hug will have to do!" I was suddenly pulled into his body, crushed by the force of his arms and the hard muscles on his chest and torso. I was half choked by radiant scent of sweat and charcoal on his body, and when he let go I itched at my nose.
"Ugh, you stink." [Me]
"Yeah, I have PE for first period. I'm surprised you didn't notice in second." [Titus]
"So, you're just okay with him?" [Tanner]
"You're the ass hole here." [Me]
"Oh, that feels so nice, having someone who doesn't want me dead." [Titus]
"Wait a minute! You'd hate him again if he knew about what you did to Teddy Bear!" [Tanner]
"What happened?" [Me]
"Oh, Teddy Bear was the laughing stock at our table, he was the butt of all jokes!" [Tanner]
"Yeah, because you made him the butt of all jokes! I just called him Teddy Bear, you went on to tease him, and say he's as childish as a teddy bear, and as weak as one, and god you're a horrible person!" [Titus]
"I am not!" [Tanner]
"Yes you are." [Me]
"... I bet your boyfriend doesn't think that."
"I'm sure he does, and even if he doesn't, I'll tell him why he should! You're an asshole, Tanner, and quite frankly you should be treated as such."
"Fucked and filled with cum?" [Titus]
We both gave him a look, "The fuck is wrong with you?" [Tanner]
"It's a joke. You said he should be treated like-"
"Oh, I get it! God... I'm ashamed of myself for getting that." [Me]
"... And I'm the jerk?" [Tanner]
"Being a perv and being a jerk are two completely different things." [Titus]
"You're aware of being a pervert?!"
"We're teenagers! We're all a little perverse!" [Titus]
"Yeah... You know, you might like X." [Me]
"X?" [Tanner]
"Oh, sorry. It stands for Xenon."
"Oh, yeah, he's in my first period class. He's super nice and friendly."
"Well, to my knowledge he's still available, and you're in luck, he doesn't like his men super bulky." [Me]
"Well who does?" [Titus]
"Teddy Bear." [Tanner]
"The next time you call him teddy bear I'm gonna punch you." [Me]
"Oh come on, it's funny!"
"Not if he considers it bullying. I mean, there's a game called One Night, where the tanner is trying to get himself killed. Does that make you the suicidal tanner? Does it Tanner? Should I start calling you suicidal tanner?" [Me]
"Ha, it gets worse, the tile shows a wolf all beaten up and stuff! It's clear that Tanner's suicidal!" [Titus]
"Shut up!" [Tanner]
"See, you don't like it either." [Me]
"That's different, you're saying I'm gonna kill myself!" [Tanner]
"You called him weak, pathetic, and childish!" [Titus]
"And who cares if he's a little childish, that's why he's cute!" [Me]
"Woah, don't let Daniel hear you say that." [Tanner]
"We're kinda a foursome. Sorta. Kinda." [Me]
"... So what's one more?" [Titus]
"I don't know how Seth would handle that, Daniel would probably get mad, and Ted would try to kill you. Aside from the worry of how they'd react I would be okay with that."
"Slut." [Tanner]
"Funny, I'm still virgin." [Me]
"And you admit that?" [Titus]
"Yeah, I'm proud of that! I don't wanna fuck or be fucked until I'm old enough for it to not be illegal." [Me]
"Well... Okay, fair point, but-"
"And what if- on the incredibly unlikely and impossible chance- Seth's not the one, and I've already done it with him? How's that make the next guy feel?"
"But, you're a man." [Titus]
"So?"
"Uh, girls can only give that special gift once. Guys don't have it in the first place, so..." [Titus]
"So what? You've seen Seth. What if doing it with him messes with me, like, inside. Like, what if I start getting those lines and stuff, too?" [Me]
"I don't think you understand how biology works." [Tanner]
"I don't think you've seen Seth enough." [Titus]
"I have too."
"I just spent fifty minutes in the same room with him, I know what he looks like to the last detail."
"Really? What's the fourth color on his body?" [Me]
"Glowing, vibrant green." [Titus]
"Nope, it's purple."
"It's green, the berghundy is the first color."
"Oh, well, true."
"... You realize that means he was eyeing your boyfriend, right?" [Tanner]
"So, as long as he doesn't make a move on him, I couldn't care less." [Me]
"Oh good, so I can like, blatantly stare at his crotch all day?" [Titus]
"Well, that'd probably weird him out, and everone around you, not to mention that if there's a class that we can sit together in, I'm gonna be there, so..."
"Oh, that's okay. I can stare yours instead."
"Pervert." [Tanner]
"Ass hole." [Me and Titus]