Plush Love Volume 1, Episode 17: Marketing Plush Companions
#17 of Plush Love Vol 1
More PCInc marketing fluff
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Plush Companions, Inc. -- About Plush Companions _________________________________________________________________
Welcome to Plush Companions, Inc.
Suppliers of the finest artificial animals in the Solar System! _________________________________________________________________
Are you lonely?
Do you have trouble sleeping at night?
Are you searching for something you can take care of, or to take care of you?
Friendly, sympathetic, and loving, Plush Companions are ideally suited to provide company for people in all situations. They are always ready to help or console.
Plush Companions are available which span the range from the simplest stuffed toy to the most sophisticated robotic savant. All models incorporate sophisticated, yet inexpensive technologies. Unique to the products of PCInc, these features make them the most desirable Plush available.
Two of the proprietary features you'll find in our Plush Companions are Nanite Contactile Fibers , which enable them to move gracefully and swiftly, and Positronic Neural Nets , which make possible their friendly and lovable personalities.
Plush Companions are easily trained, either with traditional physical methods, or through downloaded knowledge and performance sets. Since Plush Companions incorporate no organic subsystems, they are naturally houstrained, and will leave no smelly excreta in surprising locations.
PCInc's products include highly sensitive and accurate vitreous ceramic optics. Available in a multitude of colors and patterns, they provide the ideal highlight to the overall design of your Plush Companion.
Other abilities seldom seen in similar products from other manufacturers are the Plush Companions' senses of smell and taste. Accurate and sensitive, chemical sensors help to keep them aware of their environment.
Their audio capabilities complete the standard set of physical abilities common to most Plush Companions. Sensitive hearing and clear vocalization ensure accurate communication with their owners.
In recent years, many industrial and governmental organizations have found that the newest PCI companions can include features useful in many different environments. Protected by stringent implementations of the Robotic Laws , these Companions are ideal observers. They never get bored, and need only the simplest of power sources. _________________________________________________________________
The fine print
Production Methods
All PCInc Plush Companions are produced by fully automated manufacturing facilities in Olympus Mons' Caldera C on Mars. No human intervention has ever been needed. New designs are produced by our creative artists on state-of-the art 4D design stations. We can also manufacture from your designs (databases must be LifeDesign 4D(TM) compatible).
Shipment
PCInc Plush Companions are usually shipped fully insured using RailGun Express. Although the purchaser may specify another shipper, use of uncertified shipping companies may require sophisticated packing methods in order to ensure the security of your purchase.
Warranty
All PCInc Plush Companions are warranted for 1 Earth year to be free of manufacturing defects. Any failures during that time which are the result of manufacturing flaws will be repaired or the Companion replaced free of charge. However, PCInc cannot be held responsible for damage caused by environmental conditions after receipt by purchaser.
Maintenance
Normal preventive maintenance should be provided by the purchaser, although most can be done by the Plush Companion itself. Bathing, brushing and other cleaning operations should be performed frequently, enhancing the experience.
Although all Plush Companion are extremely reliable, repairs sometimes may be necessary. Corrective maintenance should be performed only by certified technicians. Contact PCInc for a list of service offices near you.
Motion
All mobile Plush Companions use Nanite Contractile Fibers(TM) as muscle equivalents. Please see our white paper Nanite Contractile Fibers for a detailed description of this breakthrough technology.
Control
All active Plush Companions incorporate at least one Positronic Neural Net(TM) for sophisticated response to external stimuli. Please see our white paper Positronic Neural Nets for a detailed description of this second breakthrough technology.
Power
Motive and computational energy is provided by high density flexible power cells (Bell Solar model HD-708). The shipping container provided by PCInc doubles as an inductive recharging station. Under normal conditions, complete discharge takes at least a week and power cells will recharge fully within 8 hours. Emergency recharging can reduce this to one hour, but may result in reduced power capacity. Two to three hours of daily trickle charging will keep power capacity at optimal levels.
Constraints
For your protection, the Positronic Neural Nets and Nanite Contactile Fibers used in all PCInc Plush Companions incorporate a stringent implementation of Asimov's Laws of Robotics:
A Plush Companion may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
A Plush Companion must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First law.
A Plush Companion must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second law.
Bonding
By far the most important event after receipt of a Plush Companion is the act of bonding. Plush Companions are designed to form a strong emotional bond with the first person they encounter after full activation. This is similar to the imprinting experienced by many organic animals. Although mediated by the Robotic Laws , the needs and wishes of the person with whom the Plush Companion has bonded will always have the highest priority.
The recipient must ensure that the first person seen by the Plush Companion is the one for whom the Companion is intended. Inappropriate bonding can only be corrected by returning the Companion to the manufacturer at purchaser's expense. Replacement of the entire neural net will be required, since the act of bonding permanently modifies data structures throughout the system. _________________________________________________________________