Fuck you
Warning: this adult Story contains Scat and Watersports. If you are offended, don't read on.
If you dont want to read any personal preluding gibberish, jump to the Asterisks...
This story is kind of a punishment for placing an idea into my mind. In chat someone greeted me with "fuck you" (which was meant as a joke in that situation). Wanting to give a witty reply, I thought about how one can fuck himself (unless herm and/or specially designed). One possible interpretation could be pawing off, but that is not sex in the conventional way. The second method is a rather free interpretation of the game "Portal".
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The doorbell rang just as he closed the game on his computer. Nightwalker, a black panther, got up and headed for the door of his house. He was naked which didn't pose any problem to him. Since most of the people in the city he lived in were anthros everybody was used to naked furs. Of course it was still not accepted to shoe private parts in public, but the definition of the term "private parts" was reduced to what resided in his sheath.
'Now who could that be?', he wondered while crossing the living room.
As he walked by a window, a sunray hit his black fur and got reflected in the shape of a leopards spots. To humans who are not able to distinguish species by their scent this was the only feature that separated him from a black cheetah. The last thing that entered the sunray was his black, non-reflecting tail with its rather bushy white tip. This was rather unusual for a panther and always served as good starter of a conversation when he met other furs he did not know before.
As he arrived at the door, he opened it.
"Well, hello there", a tall human greeted him.
He wore a yellow and black uniform that identified him as member of the local postal service.
"Oh, hello Mr. Banks.", the panther greeted back, "Do you have something for me?"
"Yes indeed.", the human replied and handed him a package.
Nightwalker took it and looked at it curiously. As he saw the logo, he knew it was his mini-portal gun which he had purchased over a month ago.
"Phew waited very long for that. Thanks.", he said.
"Well, just one print here...", Mr. Banks said and held out a device with a large sqare area that had a pawprint printed on it.
The panther placed his paw onto it and after a few seconds the device beeped.
"See you!", the post officer said and headed back to his truck.
Nightwalker turned and before he headed back into his house, he rubbed his head against a small rubber ball to renew the scent mark. Then he entered his house and closed the door behind him. Smiling he went back into his office and put the package onto the desk. He extended the claws of his left paw and used them to cut open the Tesastrip that held the lid of the package closed. Then he retracted the claws again and opened the lid. The first thing that greeted him was lots of popcorn which served as packaging material. He smiled and started to eat the popcon while he opened a video on his PC. He was about to do this anyway and now that the package had arrived he did even more so.
While Watching the video and eating the popcorn his other paw slid down his stomach and to his sheath. 'Another good reason to not wear any clothing.', he thought while the barbed pink tip of his member was already poking out of his sheath opening. He caressed it with the tip of one of his fingers. After a while his member was full erect and he was stroking it moaning silently. He stopped as he felt himself nearing climax. Now that he had his new portal gun he didn't want the fun to be over that fast. He licked his paw clean from the pre that had accumulated while he was stroking his member. Then he took out the new portal gun and its energy cell. It was much smaller than previous models.
He sighed and took out a large crystal from the desk drawer. This was a magical gift which proved to be helpful while he was playing with the portal guns. He put both paws on it and closed his eyes in concentration. The crystal felt like it was getting warmer as it did its magic. The crystal would prevent his soul from leaving this world and reform his body should he die within its range this night.
Slowly he removed the plastic strips from the portal gun and inserted the power cell. The device started to hum slightly as it was starting to fill with energy. The panther looked at it closely. He alredy knew how to operate it from his work. He turned a round button to the highest setting and waited for a small LED to light up. Then he pointed the business end of the gun at the opened door and pulled the trigger. A blue portal appeared at the far wall of the living room. He created the second portal on the wall beside him, got up and stepped through.
There he closed all the window shutters and produced his toybox from under the couch. He opened it and took out a underpants. With a big smile he pushed a small red button and the existing portals vanished. Then he turned the knob to its lowest setting and fired at the inside of the underpants. The portal that was produced had a diameter of only a few ccentimeters. He created the other portal at a book that lay on the desk. Then he flicked a switch. One of the most important functionns of the new portal gun was that it could support multiple portal sets at once. He created a second set of portals between the other side of the underpants and another book. His cocktip was already glistening from the pre that leaked out in anticipation of what was to come. Then he put on the underpants, easing his cock carefully into the portal inside. It slowly rose from its counterpart in the book.
Smiling he took the book close and sniffed at it. The smell of his own cock overwhelmed him. The panther licked at the tip and instantly began to purr. He could taste his own sweet precum. Greedily he licked again and again, lapping up all of the precum on his member. He then lay down on the couch, took the book to his maw and engulfed his own member. The taste in his mouth and the feeling of his hot maw engulfing his cock sent him into some kind of trance. He started suckling on the cock slightly but not too hard since he wanted this to last as long as possible.
After a short while he felt the need to visit the toilet. He let the glistening shaft slide out of his maw and sighed. 'At least I don't have to put off the underpants.', he thought a bit annoyed and took the two books with the portals. As he was halfway to the bathroom, he had another idea. He continued his way to the bathroom, but instead of going onto the toilet he kneeled down on the floor, looking at the shaft of his penis again. It still glistened in the bathroom light from his own saliva. He again licked across his malehood and started purring at the feeling. He then took his penis into his hot maw again, breathing deeply. Then he relaxed himself. The relaxation caused his bladder to open up and he could feel his piss slowly creeping up his shaft. As the first drop escaped the tip of his member, he tensed shortly at the extremely salty taste, but then he relaxed again. More liquid escaped his shaft and he let it fill his maw before he tensed up again to stop the flow. As he sloshed the piss around in his maw a bit, he experienced the full salty, bitter taste. He also felt his cock grow so hard that it kinda hurt. He slowly swallowed and then licked over his cock to try to ease the pain his hard on gave him and he succeeded. Then he relaxed again, letting his mouth fill with the yellow liquid again. This time he didn't tense up when his mouth was full but swallowed immediately. He slowly relaxed more, increasing the amount of piss that entered his mouth and the interval between his swallows. After the last final drops had left his bladder and been swallowed down into his belly, he took the shaft out of his maw again and placed the book onto the floor.
Then he lay down and took a few deep breaths. He didn't notice that his purring went rather loud while he was drinking his own piss. While breathing the volume of his purring died down a bit and he chuckled. He had drunk his piss before but never directly from his penis. 'The new sizable portals are sure handy.', he thought while chuckling. He picked up the other book and looked into the portal. His gaze went directly out of the portals counterpart which ended in the inner backside of his underpants. He smiled as he looked at his tailhole. Playfully he put a paw onto it. The sensation sent a short shiver through his body. He took the book closer to his face. He looked closely at his own tailhole. The view alone made his cock throb in anticipation. He always wanted to know how it would feel to give himself a good rimming. Curiously he sniffed at his tailhole. The smell aroused him even more. He couldn't quite point a finger on that smell. It clearly was some kind of stink, but it didn't stink of shit. That was no wonder, since the panther was a very cleanly person.
He stuck his tongue out of his maw and took a curious and cautious lick. The taste was not much different from the smell. In fact it was just a bit more arousing. After tasting his tailhole he felt like it was actually made for this. It felt like the only reason he had his tailhole was that he could lick it. He continued licking at the pink spot in the portal. He licked at it more and more and after a while he tried pushing his tongue inside between the tight ring of his. The feeling of his tongue flicking around inside his bowels was one of the most pleasuring he had ever felt. His tongue tickled him a lot, but also it felt sooo good. This sent him into a state of bliss again. The more he wriggled his tongue inside his bowels, the more he wanted to experience this feeling, thus the harder he pushed his tongue into his anus, but the further he got in, the more of his tongue wiggled inside. After a few hard pushes the tip of his tongue pressed against something hard.
He grew all excited immidiately. His stomach felt like hundrets of butterflies were inside it. He relaxed his tailhole and pulled his tongue out again. Then he rubbed the tip against his palate. He didn't taste anything unusual since the turd was too hard that anything could have got onto his tongue. But he didn't care. He smiled wide and got up into a kneeling position again. He could see his buttcheeks move away and expose the whole tight pink ring of flesh. He relaxed and smiled as he could see the ring relax too. His exitation grew as he felt the turd move towards his holw. As he could see the tip of the turd bulge his ring, he was so excited that he shivered a bit. Then his muscle ring opened up a bit and the tip peeked out. Nightwalker tensed a bit to stop the turd and inhaled deeply. What would have smelled disgusting and filthy to any other person now smelled like heaven to him. He licked at the tip and it broke off the turd. Quickly he smeared the tip against his palate and he was rewarded with an overwhelming, stenchy, bitter and somehow sweet taste. He swallowed and pressed his lips around the tailhole before he relaxed again. He could feel the turd slide into his maw and over his tongue. As it hit the beginning of his throat he tensed up again, cutting the turd with his ring muscle and closing his maw.
Slowly he started chewing on the mawfull of his own shit. He savoured the taste of his wastes and chewed until his maw was filled with a brown disgusting paste. Then he started swallowing to make room for the next turd. As he opened his maw again, the only thing he could smell was his own shit. He relaxed again and let his maw fill with a long turd again before tensing up. This time he inhaled deeply and swallowed. The turd slid halfway down his throat. He took another satisfying swallow and the whole turd started to slide down his throat. He could feel it slide down like he felt it in his bowels. After the turd had entered his stomach, he opened his maw again, exhaling again. He breathed deeply to relax himself a bit from the excitement before he opened his maw again. This time he had to push out his waste. It also was a bit softer again. He pushed until his cheeks bulged out from the amount of waste in his maw, then he swallowed the whole mouthfull at once, pushing on and on. Occasionally he swallowed again, while his shit grew softer and softer. After he had swallowed his last bit of shit, he licked clean his stained tailhole.
Then he put the book on the floor, sat down and took the book with his penis again. It had oozed so much precum that the book was already staining. He chuckled again, not caring for the book. He took each book in one hand and brought the pre glistening tip to his tailhole. Without waiting any longer, he pushed it in until both books hit each other with a loud smack. He let out a moan while pulling out the shaft and pushing it in again. It didn't take long for the feeling of penetration, the taste and smell of the remains of shit in his maw and the massaging of his cock to drive him over the edge. With a loud scream he unloaded his seed into his bowels. Panting heavily he lay down and relaxed. Then he started to laugh. He laughed for quite a long time cause he had never dreamed that this could be possible. He took off the underpants, and turned on the tab of his bathtub. 'I musn't forget to turn off the portals after my bath.', he thought humming a happy tune.