Amusement (Horror)
#1 of Movie Reviews
So a co-worker talked me into borrowing a movie, which isn't necessarily a hard thing to do but it is however a hard thing to get me to borrow a horror movie. Why? Because I hate horror movies for a lot of reasons. Some of which are boring, predictable, unbelievable, Stupid, pointless, and they make no sense.. But i figured hey why not give it a shot, it had been a very long time sense i last saw one so maybe I might like it.
So, onto the review of Amusement!!!
But first a trailer!!!! Amusement Trailer!
Even the trailer speaks of this movies badness, imo.
This movie was made in 2008 and produced by PictureHouse Entertainment, Directed by John Simpson and stars the following.
Keir O'Donnell as The Laugh
Katheryn Winnick as Tabitha Wright
Laura Breckenridge as Shelby Leds
Jessica Lucas as Lisa Swan
Tad Hilgenbrink as Rob
Reid Scott as Dan
Rena Owen as Psychiatrist
Kevin Gage as Tryton
Brennan Bailey as Danny
Preston Bailey as Max
Shauna Duggins as Woman In Truck
Fernanda Dorogi as Cat
Eyad Kurd-Misto as Young Laugh
Karley Scott Collins as Young Tabitha
Jadin Gould as Young Shelby
Alisha Boe as Young Lisa
Review. SPOILERS ALERT!!!
First thing I need to point out is that this movie is extensively littered with movie cliches. So naturally the movie starts out in such a way. For the first fifteenth minutes of the film we fallow a girl by the name of Shelby and her boyfriend Rob as they spend their time traveling to Cincinnati, Ohio. Where they end up joining a convoy and we then spend the majority of our time listening to Rob talk about the merits, advantages and secret language of the traveling by convoy, but! of course Shelby isn't a fan of convoy's. So after a lot of boring and totally believable dialog and some rather awkward moments we finally get to the action scenes where we see are first victims and people getting hurt, all of which!! happen in cliche and expected ways. So not one surprise or even suspenseful moment.
Then the movie just cuts and does a reset and we now find are self's watching a girl by the name of Tabitha as she arrives at her aunts house to babysit? its never really made clear as to why she's at her aunt's place. And she arrives only to find that the babysitter that her Aunt hired is missing, but doesn't seem to think much of it. Okaaay, one would think this would warrant some suspicion wouldn't it? or even calling the aunt to let her know what happened or some kinda of investigative work? but anyways moving on, as this chapter plays its boring and cliche set of scenes out you get the impression that the two little cousins know something and even might know what happened to the babysitter. but then Tabitha gets the boys into bed and heads into the guest bedroom which just happens to conveniently be filled with a large number of creepy looking clowns, one of which matches the clown costume on the front of the movie case. Gee I wonder? Naw it couldn't be. As Tabitha begins to undress we have the ever so popular psycho killer watches the pretty hot girl undress moment. As are would be heroine tries to get some rest in a room full of creepy clowns and some creepy killer stalker action going on the phone rings. Turns out the aunt likes to wait till i'm guessing around 10pm to call check-up on how things are going. Where the inevitable conversation about how creepy the big clown doll is.Dun Duh Dunnnnn!!!! Thus the predictably action starts in a very non-suspenseful or scary way, but whatever its not like this is supposed to be a horror film or anything, so who wants to be scared even just a little riiiight? Shit starts to happen and we find out what happened to the babysitter and it ends with Tabitha about to be killed, only to jump scene again to Miss Tabitha being interrogated by a FBI agent whom just gives the impression that something just isn't right.
We now find ourselves following Lisa and her boyfriend Dan as they search for Lisa's missing friend. Which they discover something must horribly be wrong because she's late to coming home after going on a date and she isn't answering her cell phone. Okay, stop right there. What is Lisa? her friends mother?......anyways so weird stalker friend somehow just knows something just isn't right thus the adventure to rescue her friend begins. LUCKIlY! they know the location of the hotel said friend and date would be staying at! Low and behold it turns out to be a old creepy ass looking mansion didn't see that one coming, like at all. So they walk up to the main entrance and get denied entry. so they change plans and play stake out as Lisa tries to think of a way to get inside the creepy hotel, not surprisingly her boyfriend is just very uninterested as he continues to pay with his phone. So she talks her boyfriend into using his health inspector badge to go in and snoop around. Okay that's just convenient. So gets in and i'm sure you can all guess what happens next. Sooooo now! its up to Lisa to save the day!!! Lisa manage to get in due to are would be villain deciding to take a stroll outside his lovely mansion after nightfall, once inside she snoops around and bumps into another one of the tenants. Now can you guess who this turns out to be? if you were thinking the villain whom was just outside then you guessed correctly. Now one last thing i'll point out before moving onto the endgame part of the movie. is that Lisa is one of the people are villain wants to hurt yet she shows up at his doorstep only to turn her away, anyone else see something wrong with this?
And now the we finally arrive at the endgame of this horrifying story. This is where it should get good and scary and suspenseful riiiiiight? Well it actually just gets worse. We find our self s back with Tabitha and shes still in the interrogation room. But now shes being talked to by a psychiatrist as shes asked a series of questions only for this person to leave shortly afterwards. leaving Tabitha in her would be cell. which of course the door just magically opens up by itself. So she wonders out and sees a body laying on the ground at the end of a hallway and walks towards it. (Sigh) Hey! look its the FBI agent from earlier and look his the bad guy in disguise. Thus starts the run for your life chase scene. Where Tabitha soon finds herself in a mirrored hallway. That comes equipped with trap walls..........Sigh, I swear the levels of predictability this film is resorting to takes the cake. So now we have are show down between Tabitha and are villain Mr. Laughs. yes that's his actual character name. For the most part we just watch him move about between the too mirrored glass walls as he sets up to torture Tabitha friends whom are tied up suspended in a spread eagle position with the skin on their chest cut open, allowing for you to all see their wonderful organs. Mr. Laughs finally quits stalling and begins to move into to cut their organs out. Oh! but wait!! it was just a gag shirt they were wearing to make it look like their skin was cut open. Whew, and here i thought he was gonna kill them. But now that his little trick has been reveled he really starts to try and cut into them.
But Tabitha gets the wonderful idea to forcibly start to laugh as though she thinks his trick was the funniest thing in the world. And guess what he falls for it. So with him and Tabitha being new best friends he drops his guard lets her in and is about to kiss her but then she stabs him in the neck!. My god who coulda seen that one coming. Now shes frees her friends and they try to make their get away, but darn! one of them gets stabbed in the gut and dies instantly. First of folks you don't die instantly from a surgical knife stabbing you in the stomach. But hey! this is a movie so lets roll with it furs! So their running and running some more and they find a ladder to climb up. as they near the Mr. Laughs grabs one of the girls by the leg and pulls her down as they both fall to their death.
YaY!!! its finally over.........Ah fuck. its not.............. Tabitha makes to the top, only to get a small breather before hearing a elevator come on, knowing its the killer she makes a run for it and gets the brightest idea of all, lets hide in this closet looking thing. but the killer was one step ahead of her and shuts the doors on her. and for some reason this closets doors have a peephole on them because it opens it just to look at her and laugh. Oh wait this isnt a closet its the back of a cargo truck. Really? a cargo truck.....oh look the clown costume from earlier in the movie we haven't seen in like forever and is on the cover of the movie......Wow, would you look at that Tabitha finds the killers original killing claw hands use them to stab Mr. laughs in the face through the tiny peephole. Now how those claws actually fit through that hole to actually stab him i don't know. They must be dimensional shifting ones or something.
The end.
Finally! The only thing horrifying about this movie is the fact it even exists. otherwise its just a really, really bad movie. The only upside to it, is the way Mr. laughs dies, which actually got a good chuckle out of me. both because he got killed by his own weapon but also because Tabitha says "Now that's funny" after she stabs him.
But i honestly can't even give this movie even a 0.1 rwar. but I will give it a 5/5 growl for just being bad and boring to even watch. it is definitely my recommendation that YOU! do not watch this movie even if you find it on Netflix or find it in a DVD-ben for $1.
Anyways I hope you enjoyed my review of "Amusement" this was my first time attempting to write something and write a review. So if you have any tips or suggestions please feel free to leave me a comment. If you really liked my review hit that subscribe button, so you know when my next review gets posted! And if you just liked what you read give me a rating and favorites are always welcomed as well :) If you have a suggestion for a movie you'd like to see me do a review on or know of one i might like feel free to post it in the comments.
Till next time.