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Predercising

[The blog opens with a picture of a grinning anthropomorphic Arcanine dressed in a red tank top and jogging bottoms posing by a set of weights. The gym he's in doesn't really matter, what matters is that the photo shows off his muscular upper body and somewhat rounded gut which peeks out beneath his shirt. He rests one hand on his stomach while his other arm flexes to show off his biceps.]

Hey Folks, Dustin here and today I'm going to be telling you about a new exercise routine that's sweeping the furry nation right now. Maybe it's just a fad, but I don't think predercising is going away anytime soon, it's a great way to work on your upper body and if you're looking for a tough workout, you won't find harder. Let's burn some calories!

So, what is Predercising?

Now, as we all know there are a lot of predators out there. They're not all great, but it's a fact of life that they exist. You walk into them on the street, they hang out at bars gloating about their latest meals and they offer to let your rub their stomach in exchange for keeping you outside of it. Heck, I used to be one myself before I realized just what it was doing to my body.

[There's a picture of the Arcanine's stomach, bloated out and bulging with what appears to be hands and feet while his own hand pats it down condescendingly. It's accompanied by a caption: 'Whoops, should've waited until my cheat day!']

After prey has digested they leave behind fat which builds up to cause a 'pred gut'. Picture a beer belly taken up to ten and add some 'love handles' and you've pretty much got it, I like to think it's natures way of telling prey "Don't go near this guy or you'll end up in his stomach". There are very few people who find a predgut attractive, it's not only a sign that you're out of shape but that you regularly go out hunting for prey and are considered dangerous.

Even if your prey doesn't digest, the stretching that goes into stomaching a squirming snack ends up stretching out your stomach and causing it to sag and bloat in the same fashion as a predgut. Some predators can tell the difference and call this a 'Pussygut', but the way I see it, no self-respecting predator wants to have either.

Disclaimer: I'd like to take this moment to explain that despite being a predator myself, I have never devoured a person without their consent, nor have I allowed them to expire. I use 'SafeVore' acid repellent to keep my prey safe whenever I feel the need to grab a hefty meal, and failing that I only digest prey who have some method of revival.

Banishing the Predgut!

[There's a picture of the Arcanine midsection that had been shown before, but as Dustin flexed out it revealed a solid six pack, though the flabby love handles remained either side of his body: 'Looking fine! You can barely tell I'm a predator.']

Yep, there's a way to get rid of all that dead weight you've been carrying around. Sure, you could go to the gym and spend weeks or even months on routines to get a flatter stomach, but the quickest way to banish a predgut is to jump on the bandwagon and predercise.

How long it takes to see the benefits of predercising varies from person to person. I managed to get rid of my predgut in two and a half weeks working with my vulpine partner Leon, who weighs a solid 190lbs in pure muscular hotness.

[There's a picture of a red and white fox with white hair and a muscular body. He grins and waves to the camera while holding a dumbell in his other hand: 'Hot, right? Just wait 'til you see him in my stomach.']

This is probably a good point to mention what should be obvious by now; To predercise you're going to need a few things:

1. A Partner - You're going to need a workout partner for when you go predercising, they'll be acting as your 'prey' and weighing you down while you're doing your routine. Ultimately you should be looking for a partner who is in shape, doesn't have any health conditions and is smaller than you are. If you can find someone who's flavourful or not adverse to wearing SafeVore flavoured deodorant, all the better. It also helps to find someone who's flexible or who has done a lot of yoga, as if you've got a smaller stomach they might need to get creative with how they fit in there. Case in point, Cats make great prey partners... and despite their history of being predators, snakes make fantastic prey thanks to their ability to coil, plus those smooth scales make them much easier to swallow and get back out (more on that later).
2. Acid Repellent - You'll also need a way to keep your prey from gurgling, as this is pretty much the worst thing that could happen in your routine both from a moral and fitness standpoint. You're not going to get rid of your predgut by adding another layer to it, and no prey is going to partner up with a predator who wants to make their stay a permanent one. Different stomachs respond to different methods, and some people are able to hold their acids (Might write an article on this later), but I personally use SafeVore or De-Vour, both of which can be bought over the counter. I've heard that since predercising took off a lot of gyms stock a wide selection of anti-acid coatings and syrums.
3. To be a Predator - If you can't swallow a person whole, this routine isn't for you (kind of says that in the name, huh?). If you're still curious about this routine you can always partner up as a prey and help add some weight to your friend's workout. However, being a predator isn't always enough, you need to be a predator comfortable with walking and running with a full stomach. You can get some mad cramps if your body isn't ready, so make sure to stretch before you start and if it gets too much, do some more training before you move onto predercising. Your stomach will thank you.
4. A Tolerant Gym - This is probably one of the biggest problems predators face. A lot of people will call the cops the second they see someone getting devoured, and in a normal circumstance so would I. You can avoid drama and catastrophe by eating your prey somewhere out of view, eating in a designated predator zone or by wearing a band (which you can buy HERE) which tells those who see you that your prey is consenting and safe. If people have questions, don't feel the need to push them away or be evasive, just let them know what you're doing and show the anti-acids you used to prove that your prey is safe and comfortable (maybe even offer to give 'em a rub or a muffled conversation with your prey just to be sure ;) ).

Getting Started

So, you've convinced someone to prey for you at the gym, or you've brought your own partner for your workout. Once you've applied your anti-acids (or they've applied them in the case of fur-coatings) You're going to need to swallow them first. I find it's best to do this feet-first so you can keep eye contact with your prey.

[There's a four-picture diagram of Dustin swallowing a muscular fox. In the first picture he rests his feet in his maw, in the second he's swallowed him in up to his waist, in the third he has swallowed him in up to his head, and the final picture depicts the final swallow, including a cutaway to show how the prey should position themselves when they're inside: 'Down the hatch, Leon!']

Start off slow and ease them into it. A couple of predators can get a little flirty here, but you're not going to want to do that in public. Once you're sure that they're comfortable you can move past their feet and up their legs, making sure to keep them together with your hands and maintain eye-contact.

Things can get kind of weird if you're a straight male predator with straight prey and your mouth is around their crotch, but I'd always recommend that prey stick to shorts (and a bra for the ladies) when predercising. Not every gym is comfortable with nudity, so if something goes wrong and you need to get your prey out fast, you're going to want them to be decent. On that note, you're not going to be wearing a shirt for this workout unless you can find a place that does XXXXXXL shirts to cover both you and your prey. Ladies can still wear a bra or tank top to cover their chest, but us guys have to bare all. You can still wear pants or shorts, just make sure they have a loose front and can stretch. Jogging bottoms are perfect for this kind of thing.

Once you're past their thighs you can work on their stomach and torso. I recommend having them keep their arms at their sides or above their head for the easiest time getting in. Shoulders can be a road-block for any first time predator, just try to work your jaws over them an inch at a time and before you know it you'll be slurping over that prey's face and sending them to your stomach.

Tell your prey to give you three clockwise rubs once they're comfortable. This will give you an idea of how they're positioned as well as a signal that they've arrived, and more importantly that they're safe. Give two pats back to signal that you've felt that and you're good to go.

Tip: Burping after finishing a delicious snack is pretty normal, especially in the world of predators. If you've got to 'compliment your meal' by telling the world how much you enjoyed them with a belch, make sure you swallow down enough air once your done to keep them from passing out from lack of oxygen.

Tip #2: If your prey is particularly heavy, you might want to get comfortable having them in your stomach by walking around or just standing up and sitting down. If your prey is too heavy, you're going to either find lighter prey or swallow something to shrink them (I don't know of any good lotions for this, please let me know your favourite brands in the comments section!).

Warming Up

[There are three pictures: One has Dustin with a full gut squatting, the photographer seems to have put a lot of focus on capturing the Arcanine's ass at the moment his tail was raised to show how toned it was. The second has Dustin performing lunges with dumbbells, and the third shows Dustin punching at the air and bouncing on the soles of his feet, his prey appears to be performing the same routine inside of him... well, the punching part at least.]

So, you've got a bellyful of extra weight and they've finally settled down. It's best to get started as you would in any workout by warming yourself up. Some basic stretches should be enough for this, plus some squats if you want to work on your lower body. Having a full stomach might make it a little hard to keep your balance, so try to get your footing before you start squatting.

I'd also recommend doing some lunges to work on your legs and some shadow boxing to work on your upper body, not to mention get yourself pumped up and filled with adrenaline. One of the biggest drawbacks of predercising is the desire to nap after a heavy meal, so you've got to keep your energy up. I'd recommend putting on some energetic, up-tempo music, and while I usually avoid caffeine, I think this time it's the lesser of two evils (warning: DON'T drink coffee! You've got a person inside you, they're not going to appreciate getting splashed with scolding hot liquid. You just took anti-acids to prevent that from happening after all ;P)

Doing some crunches is another good way to get the most out of your predgut, and to give your prey a nice surprise by hugging them with your stomach. Remember, their half of the prey routine is all based around the heat of your stomach acting like a sauna (Much easier for dragons and fire-type pokemon like me!), so it's important you work up a sweat to increase your body heat, making sure they're sweating too.

Once you're feeling warmed and pumped up, you're ready to hit the gym.

The Routine

Estimated workout time: 40mins

1. Pull-ups

[There's a picture of Dustin hanging from a beam, straining his he tries to pull his head and shoulders over it. His stomach weighs him down, continuing to bulge out randomly with his prey partner: 'Feel the burn, not the churn!']

Probably my favourite part of the workout and the best way to get the most use out of a weighted stomach. Pull-ups are a nice way to give your prey a ride whilst working on your upper body and muscles, I attribute 100% of my muscular biceps to this particular routine. I like to do twenty pull-ups, then check on on my prey to make sure I haven't tossed him around too much. Heh, sorry Leon.

1. Treadmill

[There's a picture of Dustin jogging on a treadmill at a slight incline, he's clearly sweating but managing to keep a good pace by using a technique that keeps his bloated stomach above his legs]

You're going to want to hit the Treadmill to get some time working on your stamina and leg muscles. You'd be surprised how hard it is to jog with the extra weight around your stomach, so I wouldn't do this for more than fifteen minutes at a time. Your prey is going to get jostled around a lot during this part of the workout, just make sure you don't trip over your own stomach or you're -both- going to be having a bad time.

Maintain your breathing and listen to your gut. If your prey gives you the circular rub again, it's time to stop and take a breather, both for your sake and theirs. Leon tells me this is where most of the heat comes for the preyercising side of things, so this is a must in any predator workout.

1. Elevated Planking/Push-ups

[There's a picture of Dustin in a push-up position with his hands and feet on two elevated platforms while his stomach sags beneath him: 'A nice hammock for a good prey']

This isn't always possible, but I've seen more and more gyms create 'Predator Platforms', which are two 4ft blocks anywhere from 5ft to 6ft away from eachother (a lot of them are adjustable with lockable wheels for shorter or taller preds). This allows you to perform workouts that your big gut would usually block you from doing, such as push-ups or planking.

Some predators call this 'Hammocking', the goal is to work on your stomach and trim the fat by putting it under pressure. Leon tells me its his favourite part of the routine since the stomach tends to rock from side to side like a hammock, allowing him to take a breather from the preyrobics he's performing in my gut (More on that next week!).

I tend to go for two and a half minutes of planking, then ten push-ups, then another two and a half minutes of planking, repeat until your prey starts snoring. That's when you know it's time to move onto the final part of the routine.

1. Rope Climbing

[There's a picture of Dustin climbing up a rope with his heavy stomach beneath him, it almost looks as though it's been taken from the security camera given the impossible angle. Far below him is a large mouth, wide open and waiting to catch him if he falls: 'Best to tell your prey how the view is from the top, they're not going to be seeing it.']

Easily the hardest challenge and by no means a necessary one, this is for you Iron Stomachs out there who feel the need to show off or just want to get the most out of your predator experience.

As you might expect, your goal is to climb to the top of the rope with your stomach full of extra weight. You're going to want to start off on a shorter rope and work your way up, make sure there's a crashpad beneath you because a lot of predators get exhausted halfway up and fall.

If you're looking to add a little excitement to the mix, have a larger predator stand beneath you with their mouth wide open. I find that dragons are best for this kind of work, though I've seen some pretty skilful predators. Either way, if you fall, you fill (their gut).

By the time you're done with this routine you should be on your way to a rockin' upper body and some gluts to die for, all while your prey gives you some congratulatory bellyrubs. If you feel like mixing it up you can try the following:

1. Wrestling - Find another predercisor and thrown down in the ring. You can box if you want, but I find the best experiences when it comes to battling other predators come from either sumo wrestling (with fundoshi, if you can find 'em, or jockstraps if you can't.) or through regular 'pin your opponent to the ground' wrestling. There's nothing quite like getting pinned under a heavy gut to get your heart pumping, especially if your fellow predator taunts you about being their next meal. Woof <3
2. The Chair - Push your back against a wall and sit as if you're sitting on a chair. You might not feel it at first, but pretty soon you're going to feel your legs getting a pretty good work out. This is a great routine, but with your stomach sagging you've got the additional goal of keeping it from touching the ground. This is also good to try early on in yourwarm-ups so you can get comfortable with your gut.
3. Swimming - I know you're not meant to swim on a full stomach, but if you're a strong enough swimmer I think you can get away with it and get a great full-body workout at the same time. I tend to do lengths of the pool and focus on keeping my head above the water, but more skilled swimmers might want to try water aerobics and give your prey the ride of their life (if you do, tell me in the comments section!)
4. Vaulting - If you're particularly agile, you might want to consider gymnastics. I find that vaulting over a horse is not only a great way to get a rush of adrenaline, but also requires a lot of planning to make sure your stomach doesn't get caught against the horse and leave you face-planting the floor on the other side. Some gyms have opened 'predator assault courses', these are a ton of fun and a great way to stay in shape, so if your gym has one, try it.

Finishing Your Workout

[A picture of Dustin in the sauna, resting his head against the wall as his legs spread to accommodate his bulging, sweaty gut. Despite being completely naked, his stomach covers anything that might push his blog rating up to PG+13: 'Relax, you've earned it.']

Once you're done with your routine you should spit up your prey, right? Wrong.

First you've got to relax yourself up, your muscles are still tense and there's a chance you might hurt your prey if you cough 'em out (or send them the other way) too early. Make sure you drink plenty of water and keep yourself hydrated, as well as give them something to refresh them and keep them from passing out due to heat exhaustion.

You're going to want to hit the sauna or, if your gym has one, the hot tub. Take a moment to relax your body and enjoy the best part about being a predator, a full stomach and some interior bellyrubs. Some people even go to masseuses and get a full body massage to loosen themselves up and get rid of the tension. The important thing is that you're loose and relaxed, and that'll make getting the prey back out much easier.

Whether you cough them up or send them out the back way is up to you and your partner to decide, either before or after the workout. Personally me and Leon stick to coming back out my mouth, and he usually suggests I do it in the shower so he can wash himself off. I'd call that a pretty good tip for any predator and prey, you can get a shower together and talk about the routine and what you might try different next time.

So that's my field guide to predercising. Does it hold up? Well, I'll let you decide.

[Dustin flexes for the camera, showing off his toned midsection and thick, muscular arms. An equally muscular fox stands beside him with his arms crossed over his chest, grinning alongside the Arcanine. Another picture just below it shows Leon pointing to Dustin's stomach with one hand and thumbing towards himself with the other, all while the Arcanine licks his lips and grins deviously at the fox.]

Looks like I've gotten rid of my predgut and Leon's lost some weight too, and thanks to SafeVore acid repellent he's in one piece and I don't have to work out twice as hard to get rid of the fat I got off him. It might take a couple of days to notice the difference, but just keep at it and you'll be a slimmer, better you. (and you can celebrate by wolfing down a prey, just make sure to use SafeVore!)

Thanks again to Leon for helping me with this routine. Next week I'm going to be looking at preyercising and how to get the most out of your workout when you're the one stuck in a gut. Speaking of, if there are any big guys in my area who want to try predercising, I need a guest who can swallow a 6ft, 200lbs Arcanine and who doesn't mind having a hot stomach during their routine. You can contact me via email: GBDustin[at]predavores.com, thanks again for reading my blog post and remember to practice safe, consensual (and most importantly legal!) vore.

[The Article ends with a selfie taken by Dustin of himself laying back on a bench in a shower room. Leon's tail hangs out of his mouth and he grins up at the camera as he drools over it, his other hand rests on his stomach and presses down on it to keep the bulge in place.]

• Gut-Bustin' Dustin, August 2015.

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This Blog post was sponsored by SafeVore anti-acids and predator enhancements: Feel the Burn, Not the Churn. Gut-Bustin' Dustin was given a sample product for the purposes of this review. No hunks were harmed during the making of this article.