Ander - Part 6: Subchapter 11
11
This was so exciting. Terrible, yes, but exciting nonetheless. Layla knew she should be acting a bit more reserved, but there were so many butterflies fluttering around in her stomach she could barely keep a straight face. Her life had gone from humdrum to explosive in a matter of moments, and by the gods did she love it! This was soooo much better than any of her dusty old books! The drama, the intrigue, the uncertainty! And she was actually living it! Oh gaaawwds!!
She opened the guest room door, being very careful not to let the latch click too loudly, and peeked inside.
The grey Wolf with all the stitches in his forehead was sleeping soundly, a small puddle of drool slowly seeping into the pillow.
And he was smiling.
So that's Ander's little brother, she thought, listening to the soft sounds of his breathing. After the horror story that had brought them here, she wondered what kind of a dream could possibly be strong enough to put such a serene little smile on his face. She certainly wouldn't have been able to sleep a wink after a journey like that. But what did she know? It was probably safe to assume that losing half your blood volume and replacing it with 86-proof whiskey could put you down for the count much more efficiently than a glass of warm milk and a saucy love story.
"Have a good rest, Hezzi," she whispered as she eased the door shut again. "In this crazy valley, Gods know you'll be needing all the energy you can get."
She tiptoed back to the kitchen, where Kiana was being all forlorn, peeking through the curtains at the empty road, and Mother was gathering up all her medical tools.
"How is he?" Mother asked, dropping bloody knives and needles into a tray.
"He's fine. Sleeping."
"And his bandages?"
"Still white."
"Good. Help me clean up here, would you? Kiana's been no help whatsoever!"
Kiana jumped as of stung. "Hmm?"
"Here!" Mother shoved the tray into her hands with an unsettling rattle. "Get some water boiling and clean those off. And when I say clean, I mean immaculate. And be sure to dry them properly, I don't want any rust on my tools. Then throw out the rags when you're done."
Kiana looked down at the tray in her hands, filled with a crisscrossing assortment of knives and needles, spotted with blood. "Um, Mother? I was wondering if maybe I could go to the town hall instead, with all the other Foxes? Find out what's going -"
"And leave your sister and I to tend to four injured Wolves on our own? You are staying right here, missy! Where you're needed! Now go and boil those needles!"
Kiana sighed. "Yes, Mother."
"And don't sigh like that! You can see Ander again when the work is done."
Kiana's fur stood on end, just like it always did when somebody mentioned Ander's name. "I didn't say anything about Ander," she mumbled, not fooling anybody. Layla had a stifle a giggle as her big sis stomped off to the living room, her cheeks all puffed up and sulky. Honestly, the way she went about this thing was so comical it was almost cringe worthy.
"This is not the time for titters and giggles, girl. Help me tidy up around here."
"Yes, Mother." Layla spent the next few minutes winding up spools of thread and picking up scraps of bandage cuttings, all the while trying her very best not to stare at their new guests, a task that grew more and more difficult with every passing second. She found them so fascinating, and that little girl with the feathers in her hair was just so adorable! The way she was clinging to Missus Mellah's leg just made her want to grab her and hug her and squeeze her and never let go! But the real problem, of course...
Layla bit down her bottom lip and risked a quick peek at the heartthrob sitting on their kitchen table, his soulful eyes staring out the window at the snowy valley beyond, all tortured and brooding and oh by the gods it may be winter but it sure was hot in here...
This is soooo not the time for this, Layla! she berated herself, actually feeling a tiny bit ashamed. That poor Wolf had lost his sister only yesterday, and here she was staring at his tribal attire, all leather and buckskin and carved bone for fastenings, partially open at the chest, with a tuft of shaggy, unkempt fur peeking out to say hello and his arms exposed, not too disgustingly muscular like that bulky Sorrin, but also not too skinny like Hezzi's, juuust right, all lean, with the perfect amount of meat and not a trace of fat. She'd bet that, if she were to hold that arm of his, it would be nice and firm when relaxed, but rock hard when flexed... Oh yes, he was probably good with a bow. Archers always had nice arms because of all the -
Her eyes fell on his bandaged hands, and her stomach did a nasty little roll. Here she was fantasizing when he was obviously still in pain. And not just physical pain either.
Layla gathered up more snippets of bandages, but she found her gaze drawn back to those soulful eyes again and again. It was just so wrong. So unfair. Some foolish part of her (actually, there were quite a few parts like that) wanted to go over there and give him a great big hug, but the more rational part of her cautioned against such reckless action. For one, he was a total stranger, for another, he was deep in the grieving process. Going up to hug someone like that would be very inappropriate.
Wouldn't it?
Yes! It would be very inappropriate! Now get back to work before Mother notices you've been skimping!
Good advice. She started to sweep all the little snippets off the edge of the table and into her palm, but still...
She wondered what his smile would look like. Would it be open and beaming, or a tiny bit bashful? Would it be symmetrical at both ends, or would one corner be higher than the other? Would he show his teeth in a devil-may-care grin, or would he be more reserved, like a rabbit popping his head out of the ground in spring time, only letting his smile peek out when the coast was clear?
She had seen Ander's smile and Hezzi's smile (so much alike), but she worried about the others. Would they ever truly smile again? Or maybe a better question would be: have they ever truly smiled in the first place? She wasn't sure. Take the big Wolves, Nilia and Sorrin, for example. They both seemed so grumpy and closed off, it was hard to imagine them wearing anything other than a scowl. And then there was Missus Mellah and the little one, Renna. They claimed they weren't mother and daughter, and that all those scratches and bruises had come from the real mother, still living somewhere on the other side of the mountain. You didn't need to be a genius to figure out the gist of it. Was it any wonder they were standing there in the corner, all huddled together, not saying a word? In a fairy tale, simply escaping that place would have been more than enough to plaster a great big 'And they all lived happily ever after, THE END.' on the final page. But this wasn't a fairy tale, this was real life, and real life kept going, regardless of whether you got a happy ending or not, regardless of whether it was fair or not, and regardless of whether you could ever smile again or not.
And that brought her back to the one sitting so quietly on the end of the table because he couldn't stand up without suffering great pain, and they didn't have any chairs big enough to seat him. 'Danado', he said his name was. His sister had bled to death in his arms only the day before, and although she knew it didn't make any sense, Layla was both amazed and horrified that he was actually sitting there, living and breathing, existing. She loved her own sister so much, she couldn't possibly imagine what it would feel like to lose her. It was such a dark scenario, it was as if her mind simply refused to contemplate it. Every time she tried, she smacked headlong into a black wall. And yet he was sitting there. His heart was beating. His blood was flowing. His lungs were pulling in air and breathing it out again. He was existing, because this was real life, and simply writing 'THE END' didn't change a godsdamned thing. He was sitting there because this was not a fairy tale, and it could very well happen to her, too.
But maybe... if he could smile again... if she could somehow make him smile again...
Would it lessen the terror in her own heart? Would it make her feel that this wasn't an END, but a beginning? Was such a thing even possible?
Could she make him smile...?
She was so deep in thought she didn't even notice Renna until she reached over and dropped a tangled clump of shredded bandages and thread into her cupped hands.
"Oh!" Layla said, slightly startled. "Thank you. Renna, right?"
The little girl (it was a bit absurd to think of her as 'little' when they were almost the same size, but Layla couldn't shake the feeling) stepped back and looked down and to the side, a gesture she had performed so many times in such a short span that it had become almost characteristic with her. Layla supposed it was her way of putting up a shield, but all it really did was highlight the cuts on her forehead and ears, and the swelling around her eyes and cheeks.
Hundreds of Foxes had come to their home over the years, all of them hurt and banged up in some way, shape or form. Sometimes they got better, and sometimes they didn't, but it was always the young vixens that scared Layla the most, because they reminded her that it could just as easily have been her sitting in that spare bedroom that always reeked of rubbing alcohol and disinfectant, with a cut foot or a broken arm or a severed thumb, or something even worse, something that wasn't as innocent as a stupid accident.
This... everything that had been done to this little girl, was on purpose. It was intentional. Someone had first decided to hurt her, and then carried through with that decision. It wasn't even done by an animal or an enemy, it was done by her own mother. It was something Layla couldn't even fathom. What would her life have been like if she had been born into such a world? Would she even be the same person as she was now?
She suddenly felt like giving her own Mother a great big hug, just because.
Renna took a piece of cloth and started to wipe it across the table, cleaning up a spill of rubbing alcohol.
"That's okay, Renna," Layla said. "You're a guest, you don't need to clean. I can handle that, let me just..."
Renna kept swiping the rag across the table, faster and faster, working it into all the little dips between the planks, her face contorted in such a way that Layla couldn't figure out if she was furious or on the verge of tears. Perhaps both.
"Is something the matter over there?" Mother asked, looking up from the fastidious task of reorganizing the labyrinthine insides of her medical bag.
"No, Mother, everything is peachy." Layla tapped the girl on the shoulder, "Renna, please, you're going to get me in trouble!" but it was no use, she was working herself into a frenzy, wiping faster and faster, spots that weren't even dirty anymore, her arm moving back and forth, faster and faster. "Renna!" Layla grabbed her by the hand and, just like that, it was over. The 'attack', the 'fit', the 'overenthusiastic appreciation of cleanliness', whatever you wanted to call it, simply ceased, and Layla found herself standing shoulder to shoulder with a statue, completely frozen, except for her face. Her face was a miserable mess, wracked with worry, with tears building in her eyes and her lips trembling.
"Renna?" She was shaking. Her hand was like folded steel beneath her fingers. "Hey, what's wrong?"
Mellah stepped forward, practically exploding with concern, but it was clear she didn't know exactly what to do. None of them did.
At the other end of the table, Danado simply kept staring out the window.
Taking a wild guess, Layla managed to strike the nail on the head with her first try. "Is it Hezzi?"
She nodded, just barely managing to keep the tears at bay.
"Are you worried about him?"
She nodded again, and this time a tear did leak from her eyes. It slowly travelled down the side of her muzzle, but before it could go any further, Mellah was there to catch it.
"Don't you worry, dear" she said, wiping it away with her thumb. "Beth-Kai said his life isn't in danger."
"I know, but -" She sniffed. "He came to me first. He asked me, and I said no..."
"What are you talking about, child?"
She wiped her hands across her face, and Layla noticed for the first time how different they were to her own (or any vixen's, for that matter). A lady's hands were supposed to be fine, dainty, and delicate, with well-kept nails and slender fingers, but hers weren't like that at all. Her hands were rough, with several old scars shining through her fur in thin lines, and her nails were chewed down to stubs. They were more like a boy's hands, and for some reason that almost made Layla want to cry.
"He came to me," she said, her voice cracking, "before... before everything happened. He asked me to come with him, to run away, but I said no. That's why he fought in that stupid ring, and that's why he got hurt, because I was too scared to leave..."
Mellah stroked her hair. "You couldn't have known he was going to do that, child. It wasn't your fault."
"But I _should_have known," she insisted. "He tried to change the entire tribe, just for me, and I almost got him killed..."
"That is nonsense, you hear me? Pure nonsense. You saved his life more than once, and I'm sure that, the moment he wakes up, he'll be more than happy to tell you himself."
"But... but what if he doesn't wake up?" She put a finger in her mouth and started to chew on the nail. "What if - What if he never - because of me..."
A funny little sound came in from the hallway just then. A kind of shuffling noise, like a sleepy kid dragging their feet across the floor, only much heavier. Layla, Renna, and Mellah turned around as one, and speak of the devil and step on his tail, Hezzi was coming down the hallway, all cross-eyed from trying to look at the stitches on his muzzle. His gait was slow and wonky, zigzagging from one side to the other. He made it all the way to the kitchen and slumped against the doorframe, clutching his bandaged midriff, which was slowly expanding and contracting with his laboured breathing.
Mother was livid. "What on earth are you doing out of bed, young Wolf!?"
Hezzi stopped, trained his bleary eyes on Renna, and said, "I heard crying..."
"That is irrelevant! You march on back to bed right now and get some sleep!"
Hezzi blinked and started forward, kind of oozing along, evidently still under the effects of all that whiskey. "I've been asleep long enough..."
Mother threw her hands in the air. "Gods up in heaven, it's only been an hour! You are grievously injured! Back to bed, now!"
"Nah, I'm all better..." he said, not taking his eyes off Renna, who was rooted to the spot with her fingers still in her mouth, staring in disbelief.
"You are most certainly not better!" Mother closed her eyes and massaged her temples. "Oh my gods, you're just like your brother..."
Renna had been quiet, but she couldn't keep it in any longer. "Hezzi?" She took a small step forward. "Are you really all right? It doesn't hurt, or...?" She reached out to him, but pulled back at the last second, as if afraid he might burn her.
Hezzi shuffled closer and took her trembling hands, swaying on unsteady legs. "Renna..." he said, his speech slightly slurred. "You are the nicest... and the prettiest Wolf in the whole wide world, and I love you very, very much... I love everything about you..."
Renna's eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open just a tiny bit. She seemed completely frozen, but that was okay. Hezzi wasn't done yet.
"I love how you can take a bunch of fesser... of feathers and beads, and make them into something beautiful... I love how you sometimes twist your fingers together when you get nervous... I love how, sometimes, when you're jus... just standing around... your feet will point towards each other... I love the way you sometimes cover your mouth when you laugh... I love how unbelievably ridiculously amazingly strong you can be... sometimes even stronger than Nilia, I think. I love how you can love almost anything, no matter how much it doesn't deserve it... but most of all, I love it when you smile. Whenever I see you smile, Renna, I feel like everything's going to be okay... I feel like... if I can be as strong as you, to smile even when things look so, so bad... then I can do anything. And if I can do anything, then the one thing I want to do is be the best Wolf I can be, so I can protect you, and keep you safe, so you can be happy and smile so beautiful every day... because I love you."
Renna's lips trembled. Tears flowed down her cheeks. "Hezzi... I... I..."
Layla was just about ready to explode. She had her fingers and toes crossed so hard it felt like they might snap in half.
Go, Renna! Go!! she chanted in her head. Tell him! Declare your love! Make a beautiful little speech! You can do it! Go, Renna! Goooo! Speak from the heart! You can -
"Hezzi!" She threw her arms around him, nearly knocking him clean over, and then did something no one would have expected from such a shy, timid little girl. She took his face in her hands and kissed him full on the mouth, and it wasn't just some cute little peck, either. This was a full-on, proper kiss, filled with so much love and passion it was enough to put all the hackneyed romance novels lining Layla's book shelves to shame.
Or you could just do that, she thought, staring with wide eyes. That works, too.
"I love you, too, Hezzi!" she almost screamed. "I love you so much!" She hugged him tight and lowered her head, weeping into his neck. "I was so worried! Ander carried you away and it was so quiet and we waited so long and Bethany-Kai came out said you were okay and I was so happy and I wanted to see you right away but she said you were asleep so I waited but I was still so worried! I love you so much but I thought you might - might -"
"It's okay, Renna, I'm fine," he said, reeling from more than just whiskey now. "You didn't think I'd drop dead and leave you behind, did you?"
"You're always rushing everywhere, so I couldn't be sure..."
Hezzi gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "Not to the afterlife. It would be way too boring without you."
"Hezzi?"
"Yeah?"
"Your breath kinda stinks."
Something happened just then. It wasn't spectacular in any way, but Layla knew, from the first till the last, that she was looking at a miracle in its simplest and purest form.
Hezzi first cracked a smile, that same smile she had seen on Ander's face so many times, then burst out laughing. It only took a moment for that smile to spread to Renna, a girl Layla was so convinced would never, ever smile again, but there it was, plain as day, and the difference it made was astonishing. It transformed her from a mousy little girl with chewed fingernails into something almost too bright to look at. Seeing those two together, holding each other, laughing and crying, made the world seem slightly less dark, but the miracle didn't stop there.
Mellah had covered her mouth with both hands, perhaps to stop herself from whimpering out loud and ruining their moment, but the smile dancing at the corners of her mouth was all too apparent, trembling slightly as she struggled not to burst out in tears of shared joy. Mellah, a Wolf who had been stricken with guilt and fear ever since she first arrived in this place, now seemed so happy, and all it took was seeing a smile on the face of the one she cared so much about.
Kiana (having abandoned her chores for the time being) was peeking in from the living room, the fireplace cracking merrily at her back, with her hands folded beneath her chin and a look of utmost contentment on her face. It was the same kind of look you might give to a newborn lamb struggling to get to its feet, that look that was almost always followed by a resounding, 'D'aaww...'
Even Mother, who ordinarily would have dragged an unruly patient back to bed by the ears wasn't immune. She had clutched her heart as if to keep it from jumping right out of her chest, and was watching their display with an unmistakable (if slightly out of place) shine in her eyes.
Smiles can spread like a disease, Layla thought with wonder, which was a rather un-poetic way of looking at it, but that didn't make it any less true. Hezzi was smiling happily, a smile she was sure he had caught from his brother somewhere along the line, and now he was giving it to Renna, making her smile and laugh and cry, making her happy, and she, in turn, was passing it on to Mellah, who would surely pass it on to her husband when he returned. Everyone in this room was affected, even Mother and Kiana, who had no real connection to any of these giant strangers who had so unexpectedly dropped into their home. Layla sure could feel a big, goofy grin spreading across her own face as well, and it felt so good amidst all the worry and strife that had permeated the air just a while ago. It felt like everything would work out all right in the end, that everyone would get a Happily Ever After after all, no matter how bad things got. Even -
Layla turned around, hoping to see the smile spread to the last of their guests. Even just a tiny bit would do. The faintest glimmer, even just the hint of the faintest glimmer, even just the ghost of a hint of the faintest glimmer of a smile would be more than enough for her.
But there was nothing. He was looking over his shoulder, his mouth a perfectly straight line, completely devoid of any emotion whatsoever. If not for his eyes, which stared out at Hezzi and Renna's display of innocent love with such heart crushing sadness, he might have been nothing more than a stuffed animal.
Danado...
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