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Author's Note: Thanks to my mate, my friends, my watchers, and my viewers. You guys are awesome! This story is told from the point of view of a rock musician named Phillip Torrence who is writing about his personal life.

The Ballad of Phillip

Chapter 1: Early life to 1991

Well, where should I start? I guess I'll start with the basics. I was born Phillip Torrence on January 19, 1971 in the town of West Newbrook, which is located in the fox empire about ninety minutes away from the capital, Fox Hollow City. I have purple body fur with white chest fur and black fur on the top of my head. West Newbrook is the most boring suburban town you can find. There was barely anything to do and everyone seemed the same. Same clothes, same music preferences, an elitist attitude about being a "rich, suburban fox". Being different wasn't celebrated and being openly gay was a sure way to not have any friends and be the least popular kid in school. Knowing full well I would be seen as a "low life" for being gay I kept my sexuality hidden during my school years and for many years afterwards.

Life wasn't all bad though. I met guys who later became my bandmates: Eric, Vlad, and Bob. We formed "The Travellers" when we were 16 in the summer of '87. 1987 was also the year I joined the very secret "West Newbrook Gay Club". The club met in the closet of a local hotel and membership was by invitation only. I was invited in September 1987 after a pep rally at our school. A grey fox who went by the code name "Big C" walked up to me and whispered, "what did you think of the cheerleaders?"

"They're alright", I said.

"Just 'alright'?", he whispered back.

"Yeah. Why?", I asked.

"Do you have a girlfriend?", he asked.

"No", I said.

"Do you want one?", he asked.

"Nope", I said.

"I saw you staring at that drummer earlier. Are you 'one of us'? Do you like guys?", he said.

"Yes", I whispered in his ear at the lowest audible volume.

"Then maybe you should come to our club", he whispered back. He gave me a piece of paper with an address written on it and left. I went to the hotel after school and showed the receptionist, a yellow fox, the paper.

"This way", she said in a low voice, leading me to a closet located by the elevator. "Have fun", she said before going back to her desk. I knocked on the door and Big C opened the door. Once inside I saw three furs, including Big C, all looking at me.

"Are you the new recruit?", A white wolf by the code name of Sgt. Gerry said.

"Yes", I said.

"Welcome. Now shut the door new guy", a pink fox/wolf hybrid by the code name Rose man said.

I did as he asked and I received a group hug from everybody.

"Glad to have someone new here. What do you want your code name to be?", Big C asked.

"Code name? Why can't I use my real name?", I said.

"Security reasons", Rose man said.

"How about...Mr. Purple?", Sgt. Gerry said.

"Um...okay", I said. I thought the code name was dumb, but I couldn't think of anything better so I became known as "Mr. Purple."

As for what we did during our meetings? We just talked really. Sometimes it was about gay issues, but a lot of the times it was about well...anything. With the exception of my bandmates, I never felt comfortable around straight people because I believed that if they ever knew my sexuality they would hate my guts. Only reason I was comfortable with my bandmates is because they were outsiders too for being "music geeks", though they weren't hated like the gays were. My bandmates also hated it when other kids got bullied. Still, I was too nervous to come out to them at the time.

Talking to other gays made me feel happy because they already knew my sexuality and didn't hate me for it. So while the meeting place was weird and felt like a bad joke, I really enjoyed my time with the club. My social life was split between my band and my gay club, the former never knowing I was part of the latter. It was stressful at times with band practice conflicting with meetings, but I managed. Sadly, the club fell apart once we all graduated in June of '89 because none of us planned to stay in West Newbrook. Moving to Fox Hollow was the shared dream of the club members as it was seen as a sort of "gay paradise" because it was and still is a very accepting city for gays. We all had different plans for how we were going to make it in the city though and we have yet to cross paths since. My plan was to go to university to study music by day and play gigs with the band at night. That plan went well for awhile, until we got signed to a major label, RKF records, in 1990 and we had to choose between school and career. As disappointed as my parents were, I chose career and so did the rest of the band.

I would've lost my virginity to a brown fox that year too had I not been discovered by my bandmates. His name was Roy. He was a roadie during our first tour. I noticed he had been flirting with me for awhile and I eventually started flirting with him too when no one was looking. We kissed and cuddled for a few weeks until one night in my dressing room he asked me to have sex with him. I said yes and we immediately got undressed. He then got into position, bent over with tail raised, and I put on a condom and lubed up. I was ready to take him right then when Vlad barged in.

"Hey Phil have you seen my...", Vlad started to say, but stopped when he saw the sight in front of him. I was embarrassed as hell. Poor Roy was too. We quickly got our clothes back on and Roy ran out the door. I didn't say a word. How could I? I've been hiding my sexuality for my entire life and here Vlad saw me about to fuck another guy up the ass. Bob and Eric came in looking for Vlad and had confused looks on their faces when they saw the both of us staring at each other in silence.

"What's going on here?", Eric asked.

"You're going to hate me for this, but...I'm gay", I said. I started to cry right then and there. In my head, I felt that my dream of making it in the rock music world was shattered and now I was going to get kicked out of the band. I then felt a paw on my shoulder then another and then another one after that.

"Phillip...we're okay with you being gay", Eric said.

"You are?", I asked.

"I never liked it when the gay kids got shunned. People shouldn't be outcast because of who they love or want to have sex with", Eric said.

"Agreed", Bob chimed in.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. I guess I was so surprised to see that side of you. I was taught, just like everyone else back home that homosexuality was something to be shocked about. Maybe that's a bad excuse, but I can't help it. I'll try though. You're still a friend and a member of this band Phillip, so if you want to shove your cock up the roadie's ass then whatever. If that's what makes you happy so be it", Vlad said.

"Thanks guys", I said. I smile returning to my face.

"You're welcome Phillip", they all said in unison.

"Let's keep this between us though. Okay? I don't want to come out", I said.

"But this is the most accepting city in the...", Bob started to say before Eric cut him off.

"If he's not ready to come out, don't force him! I've seen enough 'outings' back in high school to know that those who are forced to come out hate it", Eric said. I've seen enough of these "outings" too to keep me in the closet and even though I was in one of the best places in the world to be gay, I was still too afraid to come out. Roy quit because he felt ashamed over being "discovered" and left before we could convince him to stay.

Over the next year, I tried to date other guys, but when I insisted on keeping the relationship secret, no one wanted me. The notion of being closeted didn't really exist in this city. There's even a term for guys like me. Gays from the suburbs who want secret relationships were called "suburban gays", which wasn't a complimentary term. Eventually, I gave up on finding a mate until one night in 1991 when I met a hot red fox named Aaron. That night would be the beginning of a beautiful nightmare.