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After they finished with me in the first aid and got me on my feet, then came the long walk home. See, Lyle was my ride to and from school, so since now he was being arrested, and my parents didn't give a shit, I was forced to walk back by myself. Aching, and with memories that I won't forget for better or for worse, I felt more vulnerable and yet more free than I had in quite a while. I was passing by the Circle K, the one we always passed by on the way to the school, and I decided to stop for a drink. I walked past an old pickup truck, and headed in through the front.

"Burnie!" The cashier who worked there knew my name, since I was a regular customer on her shift. "You look terrible, honey! What happened?"

"I really, really don't want to talk about it, ma'am." I was still carting a few bruises from the rough man-handling they gave me; as an insult to injury, my ass was still slightly leaking cum. I hung my head low in embarassment. Couldn't they have checked to see if that stopped at all? I thought to myself.

"Well, you get whatever you want, okay sweetie? On me." The cashier was nice, but she always treated me like a charity case. It bugged me, even though it really shouldn't have.

"I'm fine, really. It's kind of you to do, but-"

"I insist!" She countered stubbornly. Dragons, always too proud for their own good. I smiled, then began to peruse through the sodas. Mister Dew, Spritz, or maybe some Professor Salt. I wasn't a big fan of the knock-off brands, but it's like that's all there was available today. I saw someone by the slushy machine, who was getting some weird mix of things in his drink. Curious, I went over to grab a cup and couldn't believe my eyes: Kris! My heart jumped a beat, and I hide my head underneath my school hoodie, standing next to him and getting a slushy.

"Uh, stick'em up, this is a robbery," I said in a desperate attempt to strike a conversation.

"I'm not stupid, Burnie, I know what you smell like; you can take the hood off..."

He wasn't entertained.

"Eh, worth a shot," I chuckled, pulling at the nozzle for Blueberry Seasalt, and filling my cup to the brim with it. It was an odd flavor, but I liked it. "Want some?" I asked Kris for..some reason.

"Not a fan. They never stick with the same recipe for it." He set a lid to his Frankenstein's Monster of a drink, grabbed a straw, and sipped at it on the way to the counter. I wasn't finished making mine, but I was far too eager to follow along. Kris went up to pay for his drink, but looked rather miffed by seeing me hovering over him like a starving predator, ready to pounce. "Why."

"What?"

"Why are you following me around?" The now-annoyed Kris asked once more.

"Uh, I..don't...know what...you're talking...about.." I said as I glanced to the side, trying to look casual about it. Kris rolled his eyes, adopting a fast walking pace out the door in a huff towards his pickup. I had to think quick, and so I ran over to his passenger side; Kris locked it before I could open the door. "W-wait!"

"What do you want?" He asked flatly.

I froze up, paralyzed by Kris' dagger-eyed stare. To be honest, I didn't really know what I wanted with him. Part of me was wanting him to be a friend, the other was wanting...something else. But I wasn't quite at that point where I was willing to listen to that part of my brain just yet. I was just so desperate to try and know more about him, that I was just looking for any reason I could find. But, I thought on my feet, and asked the most obvious question. "I just...I was gonna walk home, but-"

"Woah, wait." Kris' eyes lit up in concern when I said that. "You're walking? After what the fuck just happened?"

"..Yeah," I admitted.

"Your parents didn't even come?" Now he was genuinely shocked.

"They never came, they never do come." I looked off to the side, aloof.

I was expecting Kris to say something like 'Damn, that's a shame,' but what happened next absolutely shocked me, and it made me realize that there was a friend to find in Kris: he looked me dead in the eyes, and unlocked the door. "Get in. I'm taking you home."

I blinked in surprise. "Seriously?

"Would I hear the end of it if I didn't offer?"

"Fair point," I answered.

"Then get in. I'll clean the upholstery later," he teased, apparently having seen my...leaking problem. I smiled graciously, and opened the door to step in. It didn't strike me as a question to ask myself before I got seated, but wouldn't leave my head when I did. Why was he staring at my ass?

---

It seemed like Kris didn't live too far away, weirdly enough! Never let it be said that I was ever an attentive person to not notice who lived in my own neighborhood a couple houses down. He dropped me off at the curb of my house, and was appraising where I lived. His expression basically matched the one everyone had, and probably still has: my family's home was beyond big, taking up most of the cul-de-sac it resided in. The thing is, I came from money, though nobody would ever believe it from first glance at me. Or second. Or tenth. Regardless, it was a big house, rooms for everyone. Kris looked back to me, and he could not look any more confused if he tried. "Uumm....what."

"Yeah, the lawn does look a bit cluttered, doesn't it?" I asked, not understanding how unusual my home is to see in a rural neighborhood.

"Eh...okay. Sure." Kris left it at that, and headed around the circle, waving out the window. "Take care, kid."

"I have a name, you know!" I shouted back.

"Oh, yeah! What was it again, Bessie?" He teased, driving off.

"H-hey!" I snapped, blushing, though I doubt he could still hear me. "Th-that wasn't...funny.."

I couldn't help but smile. It was a small gesture, just driving me home...but it was probably the nicest thing anyone ever did for me at the time. It made me feel hopeful, it made me feel..I had a friend. And that feeling just welled up in me, and for the first time in a while I felt genuinely happy. It took my thoughts away from what happened, if only a little, but I knew it would follow me no matter how much I try to ignore it. Both what happened...and the sorts of feelings it sparked in me, were difficult to avoid. It made me get to thinking, and I was thinking a lot. But, then I realized I'm still standing out on the curb of a street, looking like a moron. Maybe I should head inside...

There was no short supply of commotion in the house when I came in; it was much longer than it usually takes to get back, not to mention I was short one brother, and big on a multitude of bruises and a leaking ass. My siblings were all sitting in the living room, waiting for me to say something. I just...stared at them, not really in the mood to chat. It was easily written on my face I wasn't, as well, as my expression was nothing less of bitter. Coming back to that house was never fun...it gets bad when you start to resent your own home.

Darby was the only one to speak. "What the hell, Burnie, you look like shit. More than usual." He was a very...curtly honest guy. "Where's Lyle? And what took you so long?"

I didn't answer; what could I have even answered them with? 'Oh, Lyle's arrested for trying to fuck me in the locker room with half the Varsity Football team, but I'll be fine! I have lunch semen running out of my asshole!' With clearly no good answer, I went to walk by them.

"Hey, what the fuck!? You can't just walk off-"

I shoved Darby aside, and just continued walking. "Try me."

I'm not sure what got into me, to be honest. I wasn't sure if it was confidence or irritation, though I'd likely bet it was a good mix of both. I was a bit bolder than usual, at least around my own family. It wasn't like me to act like that around them, but...you know? It felt good. I was being a bit harsh at them, yeah, but after what Lyle put me through? I wasn't in the mood for more bullshit today. I wanted to my room as quick as I could reach it. They'd find out what happened; just, in their own time.

---

In the privacy of my room, my home almost becomes bearable; my own little bubble, filled with music and baubles and shit you'd usually see in a sexually-confused boy's room, it was probably the best place I could think of to start wrestling around with these new thoughts. I locked the door, as I normally would, and started to undress. I got off my stained boxers and my school khakis, stopping for a moment to look in the mirror. My asshole looked like a glazed donut; dried cum plastered along it, and it brought a blush to my face. Those thoughts were back again...

Is it gay if I just enjoy it? I mean, I don't like guys.. No, it's not right. It's just not right.... But...it felt really good. But I shouldn't. I could, though...

I was a one-man (well, one-boy) debate team, constantly looking for excuses and then hammering them back with even more excuses. It was confusing; I was trying so desperately hard to justify it and at the same time was just as desperate to dissuade myself. I knew I had a problem...

Then I heard a knock.

"Hey...Burnie? You...you wanna talk?" It was Hanna, one of my sisters. She was, well...she wasn't as bad as the rest of my family. I know, I know, that's like saying in a pit of snakes, she's the least poisonous, but 10% less asshole is still a more tolerable asshole. She was even one of the few who'd just..listen to me, whenever I had problems. Even if most times, it wasn't for the best intentions. "We got a call, from the police station. They told us about....well, about Lyle."

"Go away." The last thing I wanted to be reminded of at the time, or anytime ever, was Lyle. I was sorting myself back up, grabbing some new clothes and getting dressed in proper; just some casual sweatpants and an old white T-shirt.

"C'mon, you won't even talk to your big sister?" She inquired in a semi-pleading voice.

"I...fine. Alright." I was hesitant to open the door, but not like it mattered now. She walked in, wearing that rave outfit she was so fond of, and took a seat at my computer chair. I sat over on the bed. "Alright, now what do you want?" I wasn't exactly in the happiest of moods, so you can tell I was being very..direct.

"Just to talk." Her face was sincere, but I knew her; it was never to just talk. She always had her motives. I was looking to dance eggshells around whatever she'd ask me. "I mean, we talk all the time, don't we?"

"Well yeah, but it's never for good reasons..." I flopped back against the bed, my discomfort for the conversation apparent. "You've always got that ulterior motive."

She raised her hands into the air, smiling cockily. "Guilty as charged. But you're just gonna have to trust me this time, this conversation's got no strings attached."

"Fine, fine....so, I guess you know what he did..."

"No details spared," she said in a tone that, even now, I can't tell if it was a regretful or a voyeuristic response. She flicked a lock of blonde hair from her face, rubbing it back against the rest of her silver fur. She just kept..looking at me, with those blue eyes, like she was staring right through me; through my insecurities. "Listen, I just...I want you to know that none of us blame you, and..what you went through was probably terrifying-"

"No shit." I pulled myself back up, looking annoyed. "Thanks for reminding me what I felt about it, real insightful."

Hanna sighed, trying her best not to lose her patience with me. "Look, fuckface, I just wanted to tell you that, whatever you might feel about it, it's all perfectly normal." She scooted my computer chair a bit closer, and rested a hand on my shoulder. "And I mean all of it, even..that."

"What?" I asked.

"You know what."

"N-no, I don't...I don't know what you're talking about," I said to dodge what she meant.

She cocked a brow; I wasn't fooling her. "Hmm, maybe you don't. At least, maybe not now. But, I get a sneaky feeling you're confused about it. Am I right? Of course I'm right." She had this strange ability to sound reassuring and mocking at the same time. She patted me on the shoulder firmly, and gave me a soft grin. "You shouldn't be ashamed, if that's the case; we all may tease you about it, but if it ends up true, I wouldn't judge."

"And what about them?" I countered, looking glum.

"Bah, fuck'em. You don't need to tell anyone else, not until you're comfy with it. But, you can tell me, if you like!" She leaped off the chair and squatted firmly beside me, wrapping a shoulder around me and shaking me about. "Come on, just tell me how you're feeling. Pleeeeaase?"

She was a weird one, but I still trusted her; at least, a bit more than the others. "Well...I...I...I don't know. It was so fucked up, but somewhere in all that, it felt...it felt.."

"Good?" She squeezed me in with a sort of half-hug, holding me close. "It's fine, just let it off your chest. There anything else?"

"Well..there's this guy, who saved me. Kris.."

"Oh, Kris? Yeah, he's an awesome dude, very quiet though. We used to hang out, and do, well, things." From the way Hanna was intoning those last words, I feel she knew Kris a little more than just as a friend. Regardless, the thought passed when she continued to speak to me. "What're you thinking about him?"

I shrugged my shoulders, glancing over at her. "Maybe that I'd..like to go visit, try and be friends with him? He seems nice."

"You might like him?" She asked with genuine curiosity.

"W-well, maybe. I might, I don't...I-I..." I looked like a blushing bride.

"Oooooh, seems little sister's got her own ulterior motives, huh?" Hanna ruffled my hair and gave me that toothy smirk. She was such a fucking tease.

"Q-quit calling me that, damnit! I'm tired of it!"

She shakes her head. "Oh fine, you know I'm just fucking with you. I mean, fucking in a different way than..Lyle was..uh, nevermind."

"Hey, Hanna? This conversation?" I gesture my hand like a crashing airplane. "Phwoosh."

"Look I get it, I'm fucking things up more. I'm just gonna get to the point...you shouldn't let what you're feeling control you. Here, this is...something of mine." She was fishing something out of her pocket, and I was curious. My heart sank when I saw it, though.

It was a fucking dildo. A big, floppy, goddamn dildo. It was at least a good 9 inches from base to knot, and it had a bunch of veiny textures on it. I couldn't stop looking at it...but when I looked back at Hanna, I could tell from her face she wasn't joking. She was dead-serious.

"H-Hanna...what the fuck...?!"

"Easy, Burnie, before you freak out. You said you're not having these thoughts, but...juuuust in case," She shoves the dildo in the pocket of my sweatpants, giving me a wink. "there's no shame in experimenting. Keep it."

I was shocked. I know she was just trying to help, in her own weird way, but it was still just as fucked up. 'Don't worry about your own brother raping you in the school, you've got a dildo now!' It just..it was something I was unable to comprehend at the time, insanity peeking through this small place in the house where I felt safe. Hanna just stood up, and walked out. "I'm gonna head off to the club, the girls are waiting. You take care, don't have too much fun!" She half-teased.

"Hanna? HANNA? Don't you dare walk-"

Ka-chunk.

"Away.."

---

Suffice to say, the proceeding few weeks were beyond awkward. My family's teasing of me sort of..mellowed out. They weren't bothering me as much, which struck me as surprising but not unwelcomed; doubt it'd be appropriate to keep the faggot jokes going after said person was forced to suck off his brother in a crummy locker room. I still kept thinking about it; there were even times I'd just stick my tongue out and nearly gag at the thought.

School was oddly silent about what happened with me. Some rumors got around, but only the names of the varsity players ever circulated; my name was strangely omitted. Not that I could complain, the last thing a boy my age going through a transitional crisis needed was people asking for a quick blowie in the bathroom stall. The thought made me blush though; something about the idea was interesting to me. So whenever the thought crossed me, I did what I thought was the smart thing at the time: I walked in the bathroom, I slapped myself in the face, and I ran cold water along it afterward. My teachers would always ask me why I was sporting a slap mark on my face, and I never could give them a straight answer. I didn't let it stop my studies, however, and made sure to keep my grades up.

I didn't see Kris around for the first week back, since he was still suspended; Rhodes scrubbed his, Lyle's, and about 6 other guys' names off the lineup roster, decided to opt in the benchwarmers. We had a shaky returning game, but it looked like the new guys just needed some time to adjust and was back at it in the last quarter. The sports wasn't important to me, though; I wanted to see Kris again, and couldn't wait until he came back so we'd have a more convenient place to talk other than just our rides back.

Yeah, speaking of that, Kris started picking up on the regular. I didn't have to ask my folks about permission, because, let's face it: they didn't care how I got back, just as long as I got back. It was a great time to just talk about things in general, and get to know something about the guy. He was a very quiet person for a Senior; he was soft-spoken most of the time, but always knew how to strike a nerve with me. More than once would I leave his pickup with a blush on my face.

Mom took a week off after getting the call about Lyle, just to see if we were all doing okay. Why she'd cut work a week to check on us, and not actually go to the school to fucking pick me up from it, I'll never know...but, since I had Kris to drive me, I digress. Unfortunately, as kind a gesture as it was, all it did was made things even more awkward, especially when the old man came back in around the time she's usually at work, looking like he'd just come from an orgy in a barnhouse. I was always looking to get to my room before the commotion started on that.

I passed my time like I normally would, just playing some games with the guys over Steam, cracking jokes over voice chat, and listening to some music while we did. It was probably the most chill part of my day, just relaxing and having fun with people I could (loosely) call friends. I'd never stop glancing over at that dildo Hanna gave me, though, and every time I did, I'd always get that feeling. It was..a craving. I didn't want to believe I knew what kind, but my rump would get that emptiness, that aching...and I'd stop trying to kid myself. I knew it'd have to happen at some point or another. And so, one weekend, when everyone was busy out with friends and family, I'd get it out of my drawer, and begin to undress.

I have to try it.

At first, I was very hesitant; holding a dildo for your first time, you always feel very intimidated by the size and girth, even if it's just the smaller ones. Of course, the one Hanna gave me was nowhere near small: it was a big fucker, easily rivaling the one Shane reamed me with. Just looking at it, I'd think about Hanna trying to use it, and I'd chuckle. And feel like kind of a pervert; Why the fuck am I fantasizing about my sister? My thoughts rang out.

I discarded that thought, for different ones; what would it feel like? Would it be any different than before? I was otherwise a rookie to anal, so I'll openly admit I was stumped. So much so, I caved in and started looking up some stuff about preparing for anal sex; private browsing, mind, wouldn't want the folks to raise any eyebrows.

"S-so...people use lube, before they.." I was reading along the articles, and blushing harshly. I couldn't believe I was looking this stuff up. What I could've believe further was that I was actually going to use that dildo. It's not gay, I kept thinking to myself. I don't like guys...I just like getting fucked. It's only gay if you like guys, right?

I warmed it up in my bathroom sink first; the cool thing about my room is that it had its own bathroom to the side. I suppose that's another reason the family gave me that room: so I'd be out of their way more often. I got it nice and hot under the sink tap, and I gave it a feel with my other hand, shuddering at the heat of it. Already, my own dick was stiff as a flagpole, drooling in anticipation. I got up on my bed, and I took two fingers to my tongue, wetting them thoroughly. At first, I was just looking to get them wet enough, but then I just started sucking on them, almost by instinct; I ran my tongue across and between them, suckling and sighing. It was oddly satisfying, even more so when I took those fingers and began to pry lightly at my tailhole.

I fit the first finger in with a little effort. It didn't take too long, but I had to apply a bit of pressure to bring it in. I immediately felt myself clenching back at just that tiny little bit I could feel of my finger, as I slid it in more. When it reached the knuckle, I pulled it back out, my breathing already getting heavy. In, out. In....out. I kept it like this, just gentle buildup, until I tried my hand at fitting the other finger in beside it. A little wiggling later, and they both ran in smoothly. I gritted my teeth as I picked up a good tempo with the two fingers, getting into it a little too much. I almost forgot I was going to use the dildo, before I finally restrained myself. Panting, and my cock oozing pre-cum, I finally got a firm hold of the dildo; still warm to the touch. I grinned, lustily, and lined it up with my spit-lubed ass.

There's nothing quite so satisfying as the first time you use a dildo; it's unfamiliar territory, just waiting to be explored, and your excitement gets the best of you. It did for me, at least; I was moaning before I even slid it in. The canine dildo rubbed against my outer ring, pressing that tip in and past it, making me shiver. It's not gay, it's not gay... Why did I still bother denying it? Maybe I was afraid. Maybe I didn't want all the naysayers to be right. It doesn't matter why, now...it was once I finally shoved that first inch in, that I realized there was nothing to worry about.

It felt good. It felt right.

"A-aah!" I didn't expect my initial reaction to sound so...girly. But it was, just that cute little gasp that escaped my throat when I got down an inch of that hot cock. That first inch became two, which then became three. I was working it down slowly, feeling it part my insides perfectly; like it always belonged there. Four, five inches now. I was starting to stroke myself, my own lupine member painfully erect and yearning. Six inches. Seven. I was straining now, feeling my stomach bulge as I was definitely forcing it at eight inches. I was shocked I got so far the first time...but I wanted more. I wanted to fit that knot. And one way or another,

I was going to have it.

I started pulling it back out, inch by inch, feeling that emptiness crawl back, before slapping it back in. The sudden friction made my cock jump, and another girlish yelp came from my mouth. But I didn't care now; nothing else mattered except feeling that dick inside me. I pulled and pushed, feeling it brush against me with that veiny texture, sending my nerves ablaze with strange new sensations. I got more focused, more forceful, bringing my hand into a firm tempo with the dildo. Every wet slap into me made me tense and twitch in the most incredible ways, as did my cock. I coated my blanket with my own pre-cum, as I viciously dildo-fucked myself. "Ah..ah...AAaahh....oooah...." I couldn't stop myself. I moaned like I was in heat. In a way, I was; an unquenchable fire burning in my loins, only momentarily sated every time that dildo launched into me.

And then I felt it. The tip punching against my prostate. Feeling it again, it was indescribable. Every hilting strike, pressing into it, rubbing it, stroking it...sensory overload was an understatement. All my nerve endings were lighting off like fireworks; I was fucking myself into a sexual trance. I needed it all, though. It wasn't enough to just fuck myself with that dildo, I needed to feel used. I needed it deep inside me. As I felt my climax mounting, I closed my eyes, and rammed that knot in fiercely.

And then... Nirvana.

I came harder than a rutting stag, coating my sheets in my seed as my ass squeezed tightly against that knot, that most intimate of mating sensations. I didn't stop cumming, either, at least not for a while. It was just so hot, feeling so owned, that knot held in by my untrained ass alone. It took some few minutes for me to fall into that sexual stupor, that afterglow, and for my mental faculties to finally return to me. I wriggled that knot out of me, feeling my gaping anus go cold against the stale air of my room, and I shivered. I wanted it to stay in me...but right then, I had more pressing matters:

It was time for a shower. And a change of bed sheets.