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Chapter 1

An introduction of sorts

November 26, 1890

Howdy howdy, my name is Flint Locke. I'm a thirty year old otter that's decided to start keeping a journal. It was advised to me by a rather famous man I met a few days ago. I'll get into that more later on. Today, I'm on the Rosebud, a riverboat casino. I was hired by the captain as a deputy to the sheriff on board, in exchange for four dollars a day, a private room, and all I can eat. Not a bad deal if you ask me. We are taking passengers from St. Louis, Missouri down to New Orleans and showing them a good time along the way. Captain is an older hound of some sort. Heard he was quite the lawman when he was young, all I know is that he's a bit of a hard-ass.

Anyways, about a week ago I met a man in St. Louis, dapper gent, wore a nice suit with a derby and a cane. I have never seen a man so good with cards, cleaned that table like he was playing against children, even though two of the others were in cahoots and cheating. I had a chance to talk with him at the bar. I was trying to get him to teach me to play, maybe then I could win. Friendly chap, I rather liked him. I bumped into him a few times over the next day or so. Gave me a word of advice, he said "Best advice I can give anyone is to keep a record of all your comings and goings. Never know when that could come in handy." I don't quite understand but if he says it's handy it probably is, considering whom I later found out he is. He just happens to be William Barclay Masterson, that's right, THE Bat Masterson! So, if he says keep a journal, I'm going to keep a journal. I'm very glad I had the chance to meet him. I only regret not knowing who he was at the time. I would have loved getting an autograph. Told me that he was on his way west out to California to a place called San Francisco, said that it's the jewel of the west coast. I just might have to make my way out there someday.

Wasn't long after that, that the captain of the Rosebud approached me and asked me to help him keep the peace on the way down to New Orleans. Fine by me, I was thinking of heading back and visiting Ma anyways. Oh, Ma, She's the woman who raised me. She runs a saloon called The Green Pasture, though everyone calls it The Pasture. She found me when I was just an urchin on the street digging in the trash looking for something to eat. I think I was about 10 at the time. Her and her husband Pa saw me and gave me food and some milk. They eventually took me in and raised me, even sent me off to college. Guess they didn't count on me being a riverboat lawman, Ha! Although, I make good money and I get to see the country.

Recently, I've been reading a lot of dime novels. Mostly they talk of the savage Indians and poor settlers; however a few of them talk of the heroics of the lawmen in the west. I'm getting a bit interested to see if those stories are true. I think that once I'm done in New Orleans I may head out to see for my self just what the west is like.

Well, it's getting late and I've got an early start tomorrow. Need to find out where some of our supplies have been disappearing to these last few days.

November 27, 1890

It is me again; Today was spent trying to figure out where our supplies are going. We are not missing much, a little food and water here and there and a couple of passengers have reported some of their children's clothing has gone missing as well. I have been asking around but to no avail. It seems as though the missing items are vanishing into thin air. I did however did get a strange report of singing coming from below decks. I've looked around but I did not see nor hear anything. Tomorrow I'll ask that guest and see if she has heard it again. A bit more food and some milk has gone missing today. Considering what has been stolen, I believe that a child or someone with a child may be responsible. But according to all of the passengers with children, all are accounted for. I'll look again tomorrow but I don't have long to figure this out as we should be arriving at New Orleans soon. I have until then to catch the culprit.

On a lighter note, the captain's daughter is on board and is fairly attractive. I think I just may have to invite her to dinner tomorrow. Maybe if I scratch her behind the ear just right I might get to "know" her a little better. Probably a good thing this trip is one way.

Well, I'm going to bed now. I'm going to get up early and see if I can't catch me a sneaky fishy.

November 28, 1890

This morning was met with success! I caught the thieves. I got up a bit before dawn and set a trap. I borrowed some clothes similar to what were taken a few days ago and I hid and waited for someone to "claim" them. That's when I spotted her. A little rabbit girl scrawny and disheveled, wearing clothing matching the description of what was taken earlier in the trip. Not knowing if she was alone or not I followed her. She made her way into the cargo hold and into an empty crate. I opened the crate only to find her there feeding a young rabbit boy. They looked at me with eyes so filled with fear I could nothing but stare right back. That's when I realized what had happened. They had stowed away and she had been sneaking around getting food for her brother and herself. I took them into custody and sat them down to question them, privately. The girl introduced herself as Lilith Bellamy she's thirteen and her brother is Robert age seven. She said that they were just trying to get some food when they fell in the crate and ended up on the boat by accident. They were too scared to say anything but hungry and they only stole what they needed. They were very apologetic and returned the clothing that she had taken. I returned the clothes back to the owners later on telling them that I found them in the cargo hold. However I'm left with a bit of a problem. The captain hates stowaways, especially if they steal from the guests. I believe that he'd punish them much too harshly. So, for now, I've invited the two of them to stay in my room, I've told them that I would hide them and feed them if they would only stay inside and behave. So far they have done what I've asked of them. I'm letting them sleep in the bed tonight; I'll stay on the couch. I need to figure out what I'm going to do with them. Figure that out tomorrow. Good Night.

Post Script: Lilith has a wonderful singing voice.

November 29, 1890

Woke up this morning and the rabbits were still asleep in bed. I heard Lilith sing last night and that gave me an idea. Last I heard from Ma, she was hoping to find a singer. I think she might just want to listen to Lilith. We arrived in New Orleans today and so my plan was to get these two cleaned up and get them some better clothing. The rags they are wearing are falling apart. But first I had to figure out how to get them off the boat, preferably unseen. The crate they boarded in was out of the question. So, I told them to tag along with another family and try to blend in. Move with the crowd, and wait for me on the docks. I had some business to attend to with the captain. Well that was the plan. Turns out the captain has a habit of seeing the passengers off. He spotted the two immediately and caught them. Damn sharp-eyed mutt. He took them to the bridge to question them, I arrived shortly after. I knew I should have kept them close. When I arrived the captain was furious with them. Was threatening to beat them and throw them in the brig, if they didn't pay for tickets. How he expected a couple of kids to pay for tickets is beyond me. I don't care to find out either. I managed to get him calmed down and we sat down and negotiated a compromise. I forfeited my pay for the trip in exchange for the rabbit's freedom and safety. Cost a bit more than what the tickets would have cost but it was worth it to keep those two safe. Besides I had a plan for them. However once we were off the boat, things really took a turn for the worst, the captain's daughter; I had forgotten I invited her to dinner. She seemed a bit perturbed. Unfortunately she has the worst timing I've ever seen. She approached me, slapped me in front of her father and quite passionately informed me of what a horrible person I am for standing her up. Her father, the captain, heard this. To which his response was most.....heated...as in hot lead. That dog was shooting at me! So, I took a rabbit under each arm and ran. Today was turning out to not be one of my best. Somehow none of us were hit. We hid in a storeroom of a dockside saloon. We managed to get away. I never did have a chance to eat breakfast, but I figured it would be best to get the kids some clothing and something to eat before we go see Ma.

After leaving the storeroom, we headed to see Dutchy. Dutchy is my tailor, best one around as far as I'm concerned, just a little hard to understand sometimes, and has....unusual tastes. He's a ram from the Netherlands, but I think he'd prefer to be a ewe and is very particular about his fur; he's always fiddling with it. Dutchy was very happy to see me, as always, and as always takes a little time to get settled down and not clinging to me. He was excited to try out a new fabric that he just got in, calls it Seersucker. It's nice and light, and seems like it'd be cool to wear in the summer heat, but this is November it's too cold for that. Anyways, I told him that I wasn't looking for clothing for me but for a couple of rabbits I acquired. I know that Dutchy is good with men's clothing but apparently women's clothing is something that he cannot do. However, next door is a seamstress and she can handle Lilith's dressings. So I left Bobby with Dutchy and took Lilith to the seamstress. I asked her to set Lilith up with a nice simple dress appropriate for a young girl. Next thing I know I'm hearing lace, and tooling, and I figured it'd be best if I leave, I needed to check on Bobby anyways. Dutchy is odd but surely not that odd. When I looked in on him Dutchy had already measured Bobby and was working, getting pants ready for him. Damn he's fast. Dutchy told us that it'd be about two hours before his clothing would be ready, and also said not to worry about payment, this one is on the house. I thanked him and we walked over to see how Lilith was doing. They had her measurements and were figuring out what dress. I asked the seamstress to make something simple that she could move around in. She suggested a Gingham Pinafore and a short-sleeved, cream-colored blouse with rickrack trim at the cuffs and neck and a full skirt. I have no idea what that is but it sounded good so I said go with it. The seamstress said she'd get right on it and that it should be ready by the afternoon. That settled I decided that we'd go eat.

Lunch was simple Lilith and her brother both ate salads while I had Seafood Gumbo. Oh how I missed the taste of the South! After we finished we had a long talk. I wanted to know why they were alone and what they were doing. Lilith told me that they used to live in a small house near St. Louis; her father was a store clerk and her mother taught at the nearby school. She woke up one night to her father carrying her and her brother outside. Their house was on fire. He went back in to get their mother but neither came out. She said that no one would take them in and they had lost everything in the fire. All they had was what they were wearing. They had been starving and living in the alleys for a couple of months before they fell into that crate. I asked her why Bobby doesn't speak; apparently he's just really shy. I told them that I cannot take care of them either, but that I would take them to someone who would. I told them about Ma, I "suggested" that Lilith sing for her, that Ma was looking for someone who can sing at her saloon, and that she'd probably be willing to care for them in exchange for Lilith's singing. We spoke for a while before heading back to check on the clothing. Dutchy was just putting the final touches on Bobby's jacket and the seamstress just had to finish the bodice piece. Once done I would have two well dressed rabbits. I figured nice clothing would look out of place on a couple of dirty children. So I took them and their new clothes to a nearby bathhouse. I asked them to get cleaned up and dressed, that they had to put forth a good first impression if we were going to convince Ma to take them in. I must say those two bunnies clean up awfully well. Lilith's dress was well suited for her and Bobby looked like a nice young gent. But I forgot about shoes. Well, no problem I bought them each a pair on the way to Ma's.

I learned early on not to walk in the front door of The Green Pasture. Ma gets...a little excited when I show up and she sometime breaks things trying to hug me. So, we came in the side door, which usually gets me a few steps in before she charges me. I was wrong. I walked right into her, I barely got a boot in the door before she picked me up and was hugging me. Shame about the door, it was a nice door...was. Once she put me down, and I straightened out my spine, I introduced her to the rabbit kids. She took things the wrong way and thought that I had done something inappropriate to get them. Now I have a black eye. The kids seem a bit scared of her... typical. I calmed Ma down and told her the story of how I met them and when I asked her if they could stay with her, she predictably refused. She gave me this rant about how a saloon is not the right place for young children and that I should be ashamed of myself for bringing them here. That's when I asked her to listen to Lilith. After some encouragement, I convinced her to sing a song. She sang a section of Shenandoah. It was like an angel had descended. Even Ma was left speechless. So, again I asked Ma if she'd care for them if Lilith would sing in the saloon. She agreed but only on a couple of conditions. First both of them had to go to school, second Lilith could sing only until it was time for bed, and third they would have to stay out of trouble. They agreed and Ma demanded suggested that all of us should come back to the house and fix up a room for them. After which she'd cook dinner and we'd have a nice long talk. While she put on an act about being annoyed by this sudden intrusion, it was plainly obvious that Ma was happy to have company. I worry that she gets lonely ever since Pa died. That settled, Ma told the Girls to take charge and we headed back to the house.

Ma's house is actually pretty nice. When Pa sold the farm he got a good price for it and was able to build a large home. The house is two stories, with red wooden siding and a large bay window on the right side on both floors. The front door is a light blue and has a large glass window in it. There are three bedrooms upstairs, an indoor bath and the downstairs has a large dining room, kitchen, and family room. It's a shame Ma couldn't have any children of her own. She was a wonderful mother to me. The second bedroom Ma keeps open for me, so we got the kids settled in the third room it tends to be warmer in the winter anyways. We spent the afternoon cleaning it up while Ma cooked dinner. She made a vegetable stew, not bad but I need some meat or fish. I think Ma's happy to have a couple of vegetarian kids living with her. She never did like cooking meat and things for me. The kids turned in early. They were exhausted and I can't blame them one bit for it. Ma and I stayed up for a while longer while I told her of what the kids have been through.

Tomorrow's going to be another big day for them.

Post Script: Ma still snores like train...

November 30, 1890

I slept in a bit today. Guess all this traveling and stress this last week caught up to me. I woke to hear Ma and the kids getting ready for Church. I forgot today's Sunday. Been a while since I've been to Church, figured I'd go as well.

The old church hasn't changed a bit. I know I've only been gone a couple of years, but it's nice coming back and seeing that everything is the same as I remember. That old Preacher still doesn't like me. Guess catching me with his niece multiple times would do that to a person. But anyways, Lilith and Bobby were big hits with the ladies in the congregation. I don't think Bobby's poor cheeks will ever recover. Afterwards we decided that it would be a good idea to show the kids around and see about getting them into school.

Near the Church is a nice school. There are three teachers now, one for grade school, one for middle school, and even one for high school. There was only one teacher when I attended. The teachers are nice, found out one was a friend of mine from when I was young. She's gotten married to a butcher and has a couple of kids about Bobby's age. She teaches the middle school so she'll be Lilith's teacher. The other teachers were out at the moment but she said that they'd be happy to have Lilith and Bobby attend. We then left to get them the supplies that they'll need and to show them where everything is. Down the street from the school is the local Library. Not many people go in there but it is a sign that things are improving here. Across the street from that is the general store. We went in and talked with the owner, Mr. Harcourt, he's a jovial boar. I like him, gave me my first job when I was young and I was good friends with his oldest son who still works in the store. I introduced the kids to him and true to his fashion immediately gave them candy. He did the same thing when I was a kid. While there we purchased the school supplies that they needed and a couple of bolts of fabric for Lilith. She needs more than one set of clothes after all. While we were at it Bobby got some school clothes and some jeans to work and play in. It was hard to get away from Mr. Harcourt; he always has another story or another joke to tell. From there we got lunch and headed back home.

With The Pasture closed today, Ma thought that it would be a good idea if we spent the day getting to know each other. That was when Lilith asked us to call her Lilly, that's what her parents called her. And Bobby spoke for the first time. He thanked us. Damn these kids know how to pluck at the heart strings. Ma and Lilly spent that afternoon sewing clothes for her. Meanwhile, Bobby and I changed into some older clothing and split some firewood. Ma tends to forget to do it. Then again she doesn't really need an axe either. That Bobby is a hard worker, he seemed happy to be treated like he belongs. I remember feeling the same way. He finally opened up a bit and I found him to be a great kid. He'll be just fine. When we finished stacking the wood we had a couple of small slivers. I took my knife and carved them into pegs. I then taught him how to play "mumbly-peg". That kid's got a great sense of humor. They fell asleep quickly again tonight. Probably for the best, tomorrow's their first day of school. I'll make sure to walk them there and get them situated.

I've still been reading these dime novels. The more I read the more I want to head west. I was born in Texas; I don't remember how I ended up here. Maybe I should head back and see where I came from. But that'll be after I'm done here. I think I may stay for a week or two before I head out. It's getting late now so I think I'll turn in soon. I don't want to use Ma's candles anymore than what I have too. She'll forget to get more.

December 1, 1890

It's getting to be a bit cold in the mornings. Kids got up today and were understandably nervous. It must be a lot to take in all at once, however seeing as how their mother was a teacher; this just might be what they need to finally relax. They've been on edge ever since I found them. Was I this way? Ma got up extra early and made pancakes for all of us and lunches to take to school. Ma and I walked them to school today. We had some paperwork to do for them and then they were set. Ma went back home and back to bed, she's working tonight. She asked me to walk the kids home and help them with their home work. I don't know if I feel like a father or an older brother to them right now. Either way I'm happy. Well, anyways, while they were in school I wandered around to see just what kind of trouble I can stir up. I ended up having "lunch" with a pretty young calico cat. Gonna have to hide the scratches on my back for a while. Those claws are no joke. On the other hand, leave it to a cat to be good with her tongue. After that I got a bite to eat and headed to the docks. Usually a sailor or two are willing to part with their wages. I had a good run, ended up winning fifty dollars. I think I'll leave that with Ma for the kids. I got back to the school just in time for it to be let out. Lilly seems to be having an easy time making friends. I think Bobby may have made friends with a mouse boy. They seemed happy. We went back home and I helped them with their homework. Bobby is surprisingly smart, got through his number chart in no time. Lilly needed a little help with her writing. Her spelling isn't the best but her grammar is solid. Both have very good penmanship. We more or less cleaned up around the house this evening. Since Ma's at The Pasture so much she doesn't always have time to tidy up. I took them out to eat as I'm not that good of a cook when it comes to vegetarian meals. We then headed over to see Ma. She was glad that we came. She wanted to introduce the kids to the Girls. The Girls are the waitresses, dancers, and workers at The Pasture. They were very glad to meet Lilly especially when they found out that Lilly can sing. We asked her to sing a little bit and when she did the entire saloon fell quiet. She looked like she was enjoying singing, even in front of everyone. Lilly asked if she should stay and keep singing. Ma, in her usual gentle way, said "LIKE HELL!!! It's a school night!" Poor Lilly looked like she was about to start crying. I had to explain to her that she'd only be singing on Friday and Saturday. Those were the busy days anyways. I think it's gonna be a while before Lilly figures out Ma, and even longer for Ma to figure Lilly out. Sheesh.

I took them back home and we sat around the family room. Lilly was working on a dress while Bobby and I played some card games. I tried to explain that Ma's just loud, and wasn't mad. That that's just the way she reacts. I don't think Lilly has ever met anyone like Ma. Then again this is Ma we're talking about, more than one of her would be enough to conquer the world. At about nine o'clock I had them go to bed. I was thinking about heading out and going to a couple of saloons but I thought it'd be a bad idea to leave two kids alone in a place they're not accustomed to. So, I decided that I'd clean up our mess and turn in early myself.

December 2, 1890

Ma came in late last night so I made breakfast and a lunch for them and walked them to school. I didn't do much today. Lounged around and took a nap in the park. I walked the kids home and helped them with their homework again. And I found out that the mouse boy that Bobby befriended lives just down the street. I let them go play. I took Lilly shopping though we didn't get anything. I think she's starting to feel a bit amorous towards me. Were she older or I younger I think I would have those feelings for her as well. We had dinner, read some from a book, and chatted a bit before bed. Lilly asked me if there was a piano in The Pasture as she didn't see one. I thought there was. I asked Lilly if she could play as well as sing. She said she could only play a little but can sing along if someone could play. It would be good for The Pasture if there was a pianist. I'm going to have to ask Ma about that tomorrow. Anyways Ma's gonna be late again tonight, I think that tomorrow is going to be more of the same.

Post Script: I read the newspaper today. They talked of the October assassination of the Police Chief David Hennessy. I remember him from when we were kids. We used to get into all kinds of trouble. He never did back down from a fight. Sad though, his death, I was wondering why everyone was giving the Italians such a hard time.

December 3, 1890

Today started much like yesterday, although Bobby was more talkative. He seems to like his new school. Lilly fits in like she's been there all along. After dropping the kids off I headed over to Metairie Cemetery to pay my respects for Hennessy. He was a hard-ass but he deserved better. After which I wandered around and ended up in an early morning poker game with some rats. You've got to watch them, some have "light fingers". It was a good game. I almost broke even. I only lost five dollars so it was fun. I left and got lunch. While eating I met an old fling, Josephine, one of Ma's Girls. She's a black cat from Boston, I mean Bawstin. Cute thing, she's got a white patch of fur on her rump that makes a heart shape when she bends over and a white dot on her right hip. I'll often tell her that I'm just trying to touch her heart, before patting her backside. She usually slaps me, completely worth it. She said that the last pianist they had left to try his luck out west someplace. She didn't know what happened to the piano. We sat and talked about various things before we left. She had to go work and I had to walk the kids home. After homework Bobby left to go play with is friends, Lilly and I left to talk to Ma. Lilly asked her about the piano. Ma said that she kept in the storeroom to keep it safe. -From her most likely- We talked about finding a new pianist so that Lilly can sing with him and so that the Girls have some music to dance to. Joey overheard this and came rushing over. Just how she can maneuver around all those chairs, table, and people so quickly and without touching anything is unbelievable, must be something she picked up in France. Joey was very excited about the possibility of a new pianist, she's wanted to get on stage and dance ever since the last one left. Ma asked me to go look for one as I have a better ear for music than she does. I'll ask around and see what I can turn up. I know of a few back in St. Louis that'd love to come down and play, I just don't know if they could keep their hands off of the girls. Perhaps I should look for a female pianist. Everyone else that works there is female. That just might work out for the best. Anyways, after visiting with Ma and the Girls we headed back and Lilly volunteered to cook dinner. I was surprised she's a good cook even if it was vegetarian.

Post Script: One thing I must note. Lilly has a mean right. I must remember to knock before entering the bathroom.

December 4, 1890

Today's Thursday, Ma usually takes Thursdays off so that she can catch up on her chores, shop, and rest as Fridays and Saturdays are usually very busy for her. She got up early today, made breakfast, walked the kids to school and told me that she wanted to take care of them today. What to do on a weekday.... Well, I slept in a bit more, but that gets old fast so I hopped on a trolley to the other side of town. It's the more business-like area and so there tends to be more money and a higher class of people there. I had donned one of my favorite outfits, a black suit with a bright red vest and puff tie. I made sure to use my pearl tie tack and today I thought a derby would compliment it well. My ivory handled Colt would stand out a bit much so I settled instead for my .38 derringer. I shouldn't need anything more than that where I was going... or so I thought.

I milled around seeing what concerts or Operas were being performed when a mangy bulldog came out from an alley and tried to rob me. Of course I shot him without hesitation. Little did I know that he just happened to be the rotten son of a rotten man who felt that he owned this particular part of town. After speaking with the police and filing a report, I was released and I went about my business. That was when I was approached by some...let's call them gentlemen and "asked" to accompany them to talk to their boss. I'm not one to argue with such persuasive bulls, especially when they have a six-gun in my back. So we headed off to see the big boss. A large bulldog introduced himself as Nemo, to which I quickly asked "So, is this the Nautilus?" I don't think he understood. I suppose he's not much of a reader. He asked my name and so I told him, "Nemo est nomen meum" which is Latin for My name is Nemo, or Nobody. He didn't seem to have a good sense of humor about it. His "associates" let me know with a swift punch to the ribs. He then went on to tell me that I had shot and killed his son, and that I would pay for that. I said "If you son hadn't tried to rob me, he'd still be alive". For which I was rewarded with another punch to the ribs. I was starting to think that they didn't like me. Nemo went on to tell me that he was going to kill me, that he wanted me to know why, and that he was going to make an example of me so that no one else would dare cross him. He then sent one of the bulls after some axe handles. I guess he had a couple of broken axes that he wanted fixed. This left my right arm free. He would regret that mistake. While informing me of his plan for tonight's "entertainment", I drew my derringer and first shot Nemo then the bull. I got a good hit on the bull dropping him dead, but the shot on Nemo was poor only hitting him in the shoulder. But I had time to get the bull's revolver and I came around Nemo's desk and shot him in the heart. I fled out the nearby window. This landed me on the roof of the second floor balcony. I ran across and jumped onto the roof of the next building. That was when Hell broke loose. Bullets struck all around me. I took cover behind the brick of the exterior wall. Crawling I made my way to the back of the building and I fired some shots in the direction the others were coming from. This gave me a small window and I jumped down onto the fire escape. As I ran down, the men that were after me gathered below. I ducked into the building and made it down to the ground floor. I ran out the front and down the street. I jumped onto a passing trolley and escaped.

I thought that I had made a clean get away however I quickly found that I was being followed. I stayed on the trolley until it passed a gun store. I exited and hurried in. There I was able to get more bullets for the gun I acquired, but I also bought a double barreled shotgun and a couple boxes of buckshot. I learned a long time ago that just the presence of a shotgun would deter most ner'-do-wells. Six of them were waiting for me outside. The bull I didn't shoot was in the center, three rather filthy dogs had gathered tightly on the left and the other two were a nervous looking raccoon and a young cat that looked about 16 or 17. The bull called out to me to come out and fight. So, I threw a chair through the window on the right, then using the shotgun gave the three dogs both barrels. They didn't stand a chance. The raccoon and cat turned and ran. Leaving the bull. He must have known that was going to happen and planned that out. He didn't flinch, instead he charged right through the front door. I was reloading the shotgun at the time. He tackled me knocking the air out of me, and we fought. Well, wasn't so much fighting as it was him throwing me from one side of the store to the other. He finally threw me outside and I was able to draw my revolver. I shot him six times, it didn't seem to slow him down one bit. Luckily the store owner shot him with a 10 gauge loaded with buckshot. Almost cut him in half. He fell dead. The police who were called out to the first shooting finally arrived including the one I spoke to earlier that day. I told him what had happened but I'm still under arrest. I'm currently sitting in jail writing this. My trial is set for Monday, I don't know what's going to happen. More importantly, my jacket and favorite vest are ruined and there's no one to pay for it but me. Lord....

Post script: The food they serve here is hardly fit to be eaten.

December 5, 1890

Ma and the kids came to visit me today. They were very worried about me. I told them not to worry that I'll be out in no time. Took a lot to calm Ma and keep her from breaking the jailer's jaw. They left and now I'm sitting here listening to the man in the far cell play his harmonica. Wish he'd stop, makes me envious of the deaf.

Of course, Friday night... Seems all the area drunks have been rounded up. The smell is atrocious. Monday can't come fast enough.

December 6, 1890

More of the same, horrible food, horrible smell, even worse music from that damn harmonica. Only difference is that today, he has accompaniment, some hung-over bastard that's either singing or vomiting. The smell is getting worse.

December 7, 1890

Most of the drunks have sobered up and have been released. Luckily the jailers have provided us with mops and buckets to clean up the place. I have never been so happy to mop a floor. The smell has improved immeasurably, and since he has something else to occupy himself with the harmonica has been silenced.

This afternoon a Preacher came in to give us a sermon. He left quickly afterwards. Tomorrow is my trial. It's set at noon. I'm spending the day trying to piece my clothes back together as to make myself as presentable as possible.

That damn harmonica is at it again. It needs to be destroyed.

December 8, 1890

Trial was quick. It was found that I acted in self-defense and so all charges against me were dropped. Ma was ecstatic. As soon as the Judge released me, she picked me up and hugged me. Almost broke my back. She would not put me down until we left the courthouse. I was given back my guns, and was told that there was a reward for most of those that I had killed, however it was used to pay for damages. Fair enough.

Ma and I went back home where I bathed and put on some decent clothes. Ma then sat me down and gave me a lecture that I won't soon forget. Luckily she was interrupted by a couple of bunnies rushing in and hugging me and checking me to make sure I was alright. Bobby asked me how I managed to beat them. So I told him that I'm often hired by lawmen to help protect people, I've picked up a few things along the way. He seems star struck. Lilly has been clinging to me; I think she's still upset about the ordeal. I'll have to figure out how to reassure her that I'm alright and that there's no more danger. She and Bobby are currently asleep in my bed. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch tonight. Sweet kids.

December 9, 1890

I'm enjoying today. This morning was started with a nice breakfast, consisting of pancakes and bacon, cooked by Ma. I was surprised that she cooked meat. Guess she's glad that I'm back and safe. That was followed by a nice walk to the local school. Lilly gave me a big hug and told me to stay out of trouble; Bobby hit me on the leg and said "Be good". I got a good laugh out of that. But today was an important day, for I had to face my most dangerous of foes...Dutchy.

Dutchy was...very excited to see me. He wanted to know all the details of what happened. Thing is he probably knows more about it than I do. I told him what happened and why I had come, I needed a new suit. While fitting me we spoke of the incident and what triggered it. That's when he told me that the father of the dog that had tried to rob me was a crooked businessman who had a habit of getting rid of competition rather suddenly. He also mentioned that Nemo was into some other shady dealings but everyone was too hushed to say anything. I'll have to find out about that later on. Anyways, Dutchy said that I had killed Nemo's only son, a son that had developed an addiction to opium and alcohol. His father had cut him off but still protected him. He was cowardly but desperate. When he realized that without his father's protection he'd be killed, he took up robbing people in the areas that his father controlled. Typical...

Dutchy was a bit more "affectionate" today but was still as quick and skilled as ever. I left him to his work and walked around the neighbor hood. I noticed I was getting a lot of stares. I walked into Mr. Harcourt's store. Even he seemed to be a bit on edge. I asked him what was going on. He said that everyone had heard what had happened and they are grateful but they think that I'm some kind of gunslinger. They're a bit scared of me I guess. I spoke with Mr. Harcourt for a while and he said that he'd talk with the other shopkeepers and let them know that I work with lawmen and that's why I'm good with a gun. I hope it works, I don't mind people being scared of me or not liking me, so long as they feel that way because of me and not because of what someone said of me. Oh well, they'll figure it out.

I left and had lunch at a nearby café. It was uncomfortable with everyone staring at me. I ate quickly and left. I'll leave them to their whispered conversations. That's pretty much how the day went. I walked the kids home and after homework both Bobby and Lilly went to play with friends. I left to see how Dutchy was coming along. I arrived to find him busily flipping through a catalog. I asked him how my suit was fairing he ran up and quickly ushered me inside. He wanted my permission to try out some new fashions on me straight from Paris. I merely wanted a simple suit to replace the old one but I do like to look my best. I told him I'm in his hands just make sure I can move if I need to. I don't think I've ever seen him that excited. He told me to come back in a few days. That's surprising; normally it only takes him a day or two. Guess he's got something special in mind. I just hope it's not something ridiculous again. I left and spent the rest of the day lazing about the house. Lilly came in with Bobby in tow, she was giving him a lecture. He had been out playing with that mouse again and got his school clothes dirty. I'll take her getting mad over that as a sign that they are starting to get comfortable here.

Post Script: Tomorrow I'm going to have a talk with Mr. Harcourt about the other shop keeps to see what I can do about their fear of me.

December 9, 1890

I walked Lilly and Bobby to school as usual today, then headed over to see Mr. Harcourt. He had spoken with the other store owners and told them about me. I did notice a change in the looks they gave me. Still fearful though. I suppose that'll just take time. Mr. Harcourt told me that his son James Jr. has been talking about settling down and taking over the General Store. Good for him. He'll be great at it. Jr.'s just like his father.

I left Mr. Harcourt and visited with some of the other stores. I wanted to talk with them myself to ease the tension. After I had spoken to them they were much more amicable. I'm glad I got that straightened out. While speaking with a few of them though, they mentioned that Nemo's men had been coming around each week collecting payment for protection from "accidents". I had cut the head off the snake but apparently some of the others were still trying to garner payments. I left and spoke with the police about it but they couldn't do anything until something happens. If the shop owners don't stop paying nothing will change, if they do then their shops might get destroyed. I spoke to a few of them about putting and end to this. They are understandably leery about it. I'll let them decide; besides it's not my place. I spent the rest of the day reading at home and then helping Lilly and Bobby with homework. We spent the evening playing games until bedtime.

December 10, 1890

I didn't do much today. Most of it was spent helping Ma do chores and repairs around the house. Today's her day off and so we're trying to get as much done as possible. I did take a break and talked to that seamstress about making a Christmas dress for Lilly. I asked her for a red velvet dress with black fur trimmings and a hand warmer. I'd like to take Lilly caroling and I'm sure she'd love to have a nice dress. The seamstress found a nice pattern and still had Lilly's measurements so I'll leave her to her work. I then left to speak to Dutchy about my clothing. Boy did he outdo himself this time. He made a black, single tailed tuxedo with a smooth lapel and a red silk waist vest. The shirt has a short turned collar and would look great with a floppy bowtie. I'm very impressed. I asked him for a matching one for Bobby. I think we'll all dress up and go caroling. I have no idea if Bobby can sing, but Lilly can make up for it. I should get something for Ma. But how would I ever get her measurements? More importantly, do we really want to subject the town, much less the kids, to Ma's singing? I returned home in time to join Ma. We headed to the school and walked Lilly and Bobby home. On the way, we stopped by Mr. Harcourt's store and picked up a few things we needed. I also bought a couple more dime novels. I think I'm hooked on these. I think I'll do some traveling after the New Year. Once we got home, Ma said that she needed to get something from the saloon. She returned with a stack of music for Lilly. Tomorrow was going to be her first day after all. Ma said that Lilly needed to learn as many songs as she could but whatever she already knows would be fine for the time being. Lilly got a bit nervous and didn't have much of an appetite at dinner. Damn Ma, couldn't you have brought those over sooner so she could practice? Lilly spent the rest of the evening in their room trying out a few songs.

December 11, 1890

More of the same today, however tonight was Lilly's first night singing. She was nervous, of course, but Ma and the Girls made sure that the place had nice people there. Even had a rare visit from Mr. Harcourt, I've only seen him here when he's looking for me. Lilly had a rough start, but everyone cheered her on and encouraged her. She quickly gained some confidence and started singing. She was great. Towards the end she started to enjoy herself and was amazing. I have got to find a pianist for her. Mr. Harcourt brought her a bouquet. She might as well been singing on Broadway from the response she received.

It's late now, probably around 2am. Lilly was so excited from her performance that she couldn't get to sleep. I hope she still has a voice tomorrow. Well, I'm off to bed now. Good Night.

December 12, 1890

We woke up to a panicking Lilly. She sung so much last night that she lost her voice. I took her to the Doctor who gave her some pudding and honey and told us that her voice will return soon, she just needs to rest it for a couple of days. Lilly looked devastated. When we returned she silently went to her room and stayed there for most of the day. She came down around dinnertime still very upset. It was obvious that she'd been up there crying. After dinner Ma said that she's going back to The Pasture. Lilly looked like she'd been shot. I set her down on the couch and talked with her. She hoarsely asked "If I can't sing then Bobby and I would have to leave. Why else am I here?" I laughed. She got mad. Then out of nowhere Ma hollered "I AIN'T THAT BAD A PERSON!!!" Scared both Lilly and I half to death, we'd thought Ma had already left. Ma sat down and pulled Lilly to her and said "As fer as I'm concerned ya live here first, ya sing second. I knew b'ferhand that y'all'd lose yer voice, EV'RY SINGER DOES. I ain't mad at cha' for it. Shoot, takes time a'for ya can sing all night without losin' yer voice. Ya'll just gonna hafta werk up to it. Now, I'm leavin' an' I'd best not be hearin' any talk like that no more. Ya hear?" Lilly looked shocked to hear Ma talk like that, it's been a long time since Ma's let her farm roots show. Lilly ran up and hugged Ma. After a minute Ma told her "Now look here, ya getting' me all wet with yer tears. Stop yer cryin' it ain't good for yer voice anyhow." She then laughed and left for The Pasture. Lilly was relieved after that. We then spent the evening going though the music finding songs that would be appropriate for her to sing.

December 13, 1890

Sunday again, and it's been a couple of weeks since I brought the kids here. They seem to be fitting in well. Went to Church this morning, and I think that Preacher has it out for me. Afterwards we were invited to a luncheon at a nearby café. The food was good, but Bobby and I can agree that it wasn't very interesting. He kept trying to sneak off with that friend of his. Oh, I finally learned that mouse boy's name. His name is William Young, goes by Will. Good kid, very polite if not a bit shy. Once the luncheon was over we spent the rest of the day in the park enjoying the pleasant weather.

December 14, 1890

After walking the kids to school I was planning on boarding a trolley to the art district again. I still want to see what is being performed. However a runner found me and delivered a message. Message said to meet up as soon as possible with the owner of the nearby dry-goods store. I headed over there. The owner, Mr. Brooks, has finally had enough of the hooligans coming around destroying things. He asked me what I could do. I told him legally nothing as it has nothing to do with me, however a security guard can. I offered to guard the store until either they stop or are dead. For payment we agreed on two dollars a day plus expenses and an additional twenty when everything is taken care of. I explained to him that he must stop paying for their "protection" but to expect some damages to occur as a fight will be possible. He told me that he expected as much and that the other shop keepers have promised to help as much as they can. Mr. Brooks has volunteered his shop as bait. We then formed a plan. Firstly, I would lay low, mostly hiding in the back room. We would wait for them to arrive then Mr. Brooks would tell them that he's no longer paying them. Hopefully they would get angry and start trouble for which I could then step in and finish it. If they leave though, I'll have to wait for their return. I've asked Mr. Brooks to keep a runner handy in case I must leave. We are planning to start Wednesday, as I plan on taking Mr. Brooks out to teach him how to handle a gun tomorrow. We may need all the help we can get. We spoke of the criminals; he said that there were two of them that come. One always waited outside the other larger one would come in to collect the payment. He said that they were always concealing themselves so he didn't know what they looked like. This could be a lot of trouble. Mr. Brooks couldn't provide much information beyond that. I left and took my guns to the gunsmith so that they'll be in top condition. I think that for this, I'll carry my .45 in addition to my derringer. I'll also keep a rifle handy and my shotgun as well. Never know I might need them all. I think that I'll teach Mr. Brooks how to handle the shotgun. He's nervous but resolute. We'll see how things pan out.

This afternoon I took my guns into the smith's shop. All they really needed was a good cleaning, but better safe than sorry. While he worked on them I slicked up my holster. I don't want any chance of my revolver sticking. I returned home in time for dinner. Lilly cooked again, some weird vegetarian dish, I didn't care for it too much but food is food.

December 15, 1890

Woke up a bit before dawn and met Mr. Brooks just outside the city for shooting lessons. As I thought he'd have a hard time hitting a barn if he was inside of it. But he's decent with a shotgun and shows a willingness to do what he needs to. I returned just in time to catch Ma on her way to The Pasture. I told her of what's going on with the other stores and that I'm going to help. She was a bit "annoyed" that I didn't talk with her about it before and more than a little mad that I was stirring up trouble again. But I think she understood the reason and was glad that I was doing something useful. I spent today examining the area around Mr. Brooks' store. It's not going to be easy. The shop lies in a shopping strip with several other stores on either side, in front of it is a crossroads with other businesses which means a lot of people that will be in the way. If the hooligans decide to come when the streets are busy it could mean that innocent people would get hurt. I'll have a talk with Mr. Brooks tomorrow when I start.

Now, on to a happier topic, after I finished my examination I headed over to the seamstress's shop. She had received some new fabrics and wanted to try them out. I told her that I'd leave it up to her. She's the seamstress and knows what she's doing. All I know about women's clothing is how to remove it. Eventually I'll remember her name. I hope...

This evening I cooked. I've grown tired of vegetarian food. I need meat. I grilled a steak and potato for me. The kids had beans and rice Jambalaya I bought from a nearby restaurant. They like the Creole cuisine around here.

December 16, 1890

I got up early again today. Figured it'd be an interesting day. Mr. Brooks said that those two hooligans usually show up on Wednesday to collect. I'm going to spend the day in the back room. However, I've made a comfy place to sit, and I bought a couple more books to read while I wait. I had a chat with Mr. Brooks. I told him about how the street layout is and about the people that will be going about their business. I've asked him to only shoot if necessary and even then only inside the store. I swapped out the buckshot in his shotgun for bird shot. At the ranges he'll be shooting, birdshot will be every bit as effective as buck but with much less danger to bystanders.

Mr. Brooks made sandwiches for lunch. I had forgotten to bring anything. I'm glad he made one for me. I waited all day for them to show up, I had almost given up but a few minutes before closing in walked a rather large man. I couldn't make out just who he was with how he was dressed, but that didn't matter. He was one of the men I was after. Just like we rehearsed Mr. Brooks refused to pay. Mr. Brooks got rather testy and said some words that shouldn't be repeated. The big guy threatened Mr. Brooks and called the smaller man in. They were going to roust the place and burn it to the ground. Wisely, Mr. Brooks didn't do anything but yell at them, just as I told him to do. When the smaller man entered and the big man was distracted, I came in. I handed Mr. Brooks the shotgun and I had my Colt in hand. When they turned around they saw us standing there guns leveled at them. The small one said "Oh, no, not you again!" They recognized me from somewhere. I ordered them to drop their guns and walk out the door. They complied. While escorting them outside, the big one rushed me but I expected that and shot him. The small one ran but I caught him after he tripped. He was a young cat. He looked familiar. I had him sit on Mr. Brooks' walkway. I asked Mr. Brooks to send a runner after a lawman. The cat was almost in tears, begging for us to let him go. I said, "Run, if you think you can outrun that shotgun aimed at the back of your head." I rolled over the big man and saw that he was a raccoon. That's when I remembered them. They were with Nemo's men that I killed a couple of weeks ago. They were the two cowards that ran when I killed the three dogs. I couldn't help but laugh. They thought that they could get easy money by continuing collecting payment. It wasn't long after that the local policemen showed up. Mr. Brooks and I told them what had happened and the cat was hauled off to jail. The coroner arrived soon thereafter and took care of the raccoon. Awfully quick end to that, to be honest I was expecting more of a fight. I'm almost disappointed. Oh well, nothing was damaged and only the raccoon was hurt, so alls well that ends well I guess. Mr. Brooks paid me $40. I told him that was too much he only owed me $22. He replied "You earned it. You got them without damaging my store. I'd pay $100 for that if I had it with me!" I didn't want to insult him so I accepted the payment. I headed home after that.

Lilly was sitting on the porch waiting for me. She looked like she's been worrying herself silly about me. She just about flew off the porch to hug me, almost knocked me over. Bobby came running up and latched onto my leg. After she was done crying, nagging, and checking to make sure I was alright we ate dinner and called it a night.

Post script: Lilly and Bobby have taken over my bed again. I guess I'll sleep in theirs tonight.

December 17, 1890

Yesterday was a long day. So I was planning on sleeping in a bit and relaxing today. Boy... was I wrong. Ma came in yelling and making a big fuss today. Apparently the other storeowners had heard what I did and they all wanted to thank me. They had gathered outside Ma's house and their noise woke her up. Since she was up, EVERYONE was up. Ma told me to get dressed and get rid of all those people. She all but threw me out the door. I wasn't ready for this. I was swarmed; they picked me up and carried me on their shoulders out into the middle of the street. They were thanking me, shaking my hand, and asking me so many questions that I couldn't keep up. I just smiled and said "I just did what I thought was right." This went on for about half an hour before they filtered off. I sat on the porch trying to figure out who was who, when Lilly snuck up behind me and kissed me on the cheek, surprised me. Bobby hugged me and they left for school. I turned to go back inside but Ma was there, she grabbed me by my ear and dragged me inside. I just knew I was in big trouble; she only does that when I've done something really bad. As soon as we were inside she turned me to face her. I stood there wondering just what I had done when she threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. She just about suffocated me in her chest before letting me go. She then punched me in the gut, had me seeing stars while lying on the floor. She stood over me and said "Them kids done lost enough. Last thing they need is losin' yer skinny behind. Don' go doin' nothin' that makes them worry 'bout you. Ya hear?" All I could muster was a weak "Yes Mama." She left me there gasping for air, but she's right. I've been reckless. I've only gotten this far from shear luck. I suppose I should apologize to them. Ma went back to bed. I finished dressing and left.

I was hoping for a quiet day. However, as I would be walking down the street, some shopkeeper would drag me into their store and shower me with gifts. I looked as though I had been on a shopping spree. I had my arms so full of their gifts that I could barely see in front of me to walk. I was forced to make a couple of trips back home to drop them off. I headed over to the seamstress's shop to check on the dress she was making for Lilly. She wouldn't let me see it as she was putting the final touches on it. Oh, I better write her name down before I forget again. Her name is Ann, Ann Young. I don't know why I can't remember her name. Turns out she's the mother of Bobby's friend Will. Mrs. Young asked me to come for the dress tomorrow. Must be a difficult design, it's been a week.

I meandered around the area a bit before walking the kids home. After they finished their homework, I told Ma and the kids that I'm taking them out to dinner. They were excited. It's not often we all get to go somewhere together. Down the street from Mr. Brooks' store there is a nice casual restaurant. We ate and enjoyed a nice night out. On the way home, I apologized to Lilly, Bobby and Ma. Ma grunted (her way of approving) Lilly latched onto my arm, Bobby on the other hand has gotten to be a bit of a handful. He was all excited that they're living with a gunslinger "Fighting for Justice!" I had to laugh at that last part. I told him I don't fight for justice, I only do what I think is right. I don't think he understood. Oh well, he's a bit young for that kind of talk. He'll understand when he's older.

When we got home it was time for bed. Ma tucked them in, sat on the couch and we had a quiet evening.

December 18, 1890

Lilly and Bobby left for school like usual today. Ma was sleeping in, Friday nights are busy for her. I didn't want to disturb her so I left. I milled around town, had lunch, the usual bit. Afterwards I left to see Mrs. Young about Lilly's dress. She had finished it and was very proud of her work, and she should be. The dress is stunning. It's a crimson dress with a patterned lace flowing from the bust down the left side of the dress. There are four matching bows just behind the lace under the sash belt. It is amazing. Lilly will take people's breath away. I paid for the dress, $7. It's expensive but I think she'll love it. I need to figure out what to get Bobby now. He doesn't care that much about clothing, but maybe I can get him some toys to play with. Now that I think about it they don't have any. Before leaving I asked Mrs. Young to box up the dress as it was going to be a gift. While waiting I remembered that Ma doesn't have a nice dress. I asked Mrs. Young if she had anything that would work for Ma. She didn't disappoint. She figured I'd ask so she prepared a simple dress. I was told to bring Ma in, and she'd fit it for her. She said it'd only take an hour or so. I thanked Mrs. Young and headed to the toy store. There I bought Bobby some toy guns and a holster, some wooden horses with a covered wagon, and some marbles. The store owner was also one of the ones hassled by Nemo's men. He knew I had taken in a couple of children and so he gave me a stuffed bear, a doll, and lots of candy. I think the kids will have a good Christmas this year.

I had lost track of time and before I knew it school would be letting out soon. I rushed home and hid the gifts in the attic just as Lilly and Bobby walked through the door. Lilly asked me why I was out of breath. I joked "Well when I saw you walk in the door, you were so pretty that you took my breath away. I'm just trying to catch it." She blushed and rolled her eyes. I helped them with their homework and let Bobby go play with Will. Lilly and I headed over to The Pasture, she's singing tonight. As soon as we entered Joey pounced on Lilly dragging her off to get ready. Many of the same people that were here last week had come back. Mr. Harcourt brought his wife to hear Lilly sing. It'd been quite a while since I've seen her. We sat and talked while Lilly prepared for her show. It was a big change from her first time. She was still nervous but she wasn't scared. She was ready tonight. Lilly sang and even danced a little with Joey. Everyone had a great time. I asked around a bit to see if anyone knew a decent pianist that could accompany Lilly. No one knew anyone, but they said that they'd ask around. After the show everyone was telling Lilly what an amazing singer she was. Ma was very happy. I took Lilly home at about 10 o'clock. She was so exhausted that I ended up carrying her on the last half of the way. She looked happy.

December 19, 1890

I woke up this morning worrying about Lilly. I didn't know if she'd lost her voice again. Luckily she didn't. She was very grateful for that. I told her to take it easy today. I made some warm tea with honey for her. She asked if she could spend the day with her friends. I agreed but told her to be ready to sing tonight. She smiled and said that she was looking forward to it. I'm glad. After breakfast, Lilly headed off to her friends leaving Bobby and I together. I told Bobby to put on some play clothes; that I'm going to need his help today. I left a note for Ma as she was still asleep she didn't get in until about 3 this morning.

Bobby and I headed into town. Yesterday, while wandering around I found a man selling Christmas Trees. Ma and Pa got one every year until Pa died. I think it's time for another one. While talking to the man, he said that he delivered a few tree stands to the general store just that morning. He had one displayed though. It looks to be a lot better than nailing some boards to it like Pa did. I bought a tree and headed to the general store. Mr. Harcourt was very happy to see us, not so much the tree which I had leaned up against his store. I asked if he had any of the tree stands, he had some in back. He left to get one and while out of sight gave Bobby a peppermint stick. I had Bobby carry the stand while I carried the tree. We set it up in the family room in the corner between the front window and the fireplace. About the time that we got it set up, Lilly and her friends came in. Seems she had forgotten something. Boy was she surprised to see the tree. Her friends didn't have one yet. So I asked if they'd like to decorate the tree. It turned into a bit of a party in there. One girl left and got popcorn. Her and another girl threaded them on string and hung them on the tree. Lilly fetched some ribbon and began tying bows on it. I sent Bobby over to Mr. Harcourt's after some candy canes. When he got back we hung them on as well. During all this, Ma had woken up and got dressed. She was speechless when she came down stairs. Tears welled up in her eyes. She was so happy to see her house full and see the Christmas tree being decorated. Then her eyes got big and she rushed upstairs. I heard the attic open. When she came down she had a box of decorations. I helped her bring the other boxes down and we spent the day decorating the house. Ma was so happy to decorate, I was glad that we had so many helpers. Ma treated them all to lunch and thanked them. She looked like her old self. She had to leave after that to get The Pasture ready. I talked to Lilly and Bobby about possibly going caroling on Christmas. Bobby seemed a bit reluctant but Lilly was very excited about it. After dinner we left and headed to The Pasture. Bobby came with us this time. He couldn't stay with his friend. We had him stay upstairs in a spare room. Joey volunteered to watch him and play with him. She said "I've always wanted a little brother." Turns out she's really good with kids. Lilly got a great reception again. I don't know who was most sorry for us to leave, Lilly, Bobby, or Joey. Seems Bobby likes Joey.

December 20, 1890

Sunday morning, means Church and getting stink-eyed by the Preacher. I know I'm not the best person around but you'd think that he'd surely get tired of picking on me. Oh, well. Quiet day for the most part, Ma and Lilly went shopping. Bobby left to play with Will. I just laid a quilt out in the park and slept most of the day. Sun felt good.

December 21, 1890

With Lilly and Bobby at school I had the time and lack of supervision to wrap up their Christmas gifts. Lilly's dress is beautiful. Bobby is going to look so good in his tuxedo. I wrapped the doll, and Bobby's toy holster and guns, the rest I'm going to put in their stockings. Strangely neither of them has mentioned anything about what they want for Christmas. They probably don't want to seem ungrateful. They're such nice kids.

After lunch I wandered around a bit and met this pretty little pony. Her name is Beth. Fancy thing, a bay with blond hair and tail all braided up. We chatted a bit and shared a few drinks. She was a bit quiet, but DAMN was she loud in the hotel room! She enjoyed riding so much that she almost broke my pelvis. I'm fairly certain we broke the bed, and chair, and table... Good Lord! I may not walk right for a day or so but she was fun. I didn't get back until after dinner. Luckily I was able to bath before returning so I didn't smell of Beth.

Lilly seemed a bit...testy, guess she knows what I've been up to today.

December 22, 1890

Today was a very boring day. I didn't do a damn thing today.

December 23, 1890

School's out until January 4th. That means I'm on kid duty 'til then. After breakfast, Bobby and I split more firewood while Lilly cleaned the house. Oh Bobby's getting pretty good stacking the wood. By noon we were both tired and had more than enough firewood to last for quite a while. They're getting excited about Christmas. Neither will admit to it but they've been shaking their gifts trying to figure out what they got. The presents are not in the same place as where I put them.

Will came over to play. Seems he was booted from the house as his mother is decorating. He and Bobby played out in the yard for the rest of the afternoon. I settled on the sofa to read a bit. Lilly joined me shortly thereafter. Couldn't help but notice that she kept scooting closer and closer to me. She's so adorable. I mussed her hair a bit and she got mad and pouted at me. Got a good laugh out of that, and earned pinch on the arm. We settled in and read our books. Lilly dosed off, so I made dinner tonight. I invited Will to join us. He liked my cooking.

Ma closed The Pasture early. She got home just as Lilly started the dishes. The two of them talked while cleaning up. I played cards with Bobby a bit before putting him to bed. After Lilly went to bed Ma brought in her gifts to them. She wouldn't tell me what they were but apparently instead of working she shopped and wrapped presents. Ma loves kids.

December 24, 1890

Christmas Eve and all of us are excited, Ma especially. After breakfast she and Lilly shooed Bobby and I out of the kitchen and started preparing for our Christmas Eve dinner. In our family, it's always been tradition that we have a big family dinner on Christmas Eve after which we give our gifts to each other. On Christmas morning we have "Santa" gifts for the kids. I put Lilly and Bobby's clothes under the tree, the rest are "Santa" gifts. So, while Ma and Lilly cooked, Bobby and I played. We went fishing in a nearby stream. I cut us a couple of cane poles and tied some string on the end. Bobby dug up a few worms for bait and I had a couple of corks for floats. Bobby caught a few fish but his string broke on a big one. I caught a couple but after his string broke I gave him my pole and I tied another string on. We had a lot of fun up until noon. We got hungry so we went home for a light lunch. That was a mistake. We were chased out of the house. Poor Bobby got spanked with a wooden spoon by Lilly; Ma got me with a rolling pin. Did I say poor Bobby? I meant poor me. After the back door slammed behind us we looked at each other and couldn't help but laugh. We left and got a small snack from Mr. Harcourt. He got a good laugh when we told him what happened. Bobby had to show Mr. Harcourt exactly where Lilly got him. Mr. Harcourt and I were laughing so hard we cried. He said "So I guess you two are in the doghouse for the time being." He lit up with a devilish grin. "I've got just the thing for you." He left and came back with a sign. On it he painted "We've been bad, we're sowwy". He gave it to us and told us to sit down in the back yard holding the sign. Jeez, that pig has a strange sense of humor. But that's funny no matter how you look at it. We hurried back and did has Mr. Harcourt said. We got there just in time. Ma was sending Lilly out to find us. She came out and saw us sitting there with the most pitiable looks on our faces. She laughed which brought Ma out. Ma got mad and yelled "Why you good for nothin' rapscallions, I'll give you somethin' to be sorry about!" and charged us. I grabbed Bobby and yelled "Run!!!" and Ma chased us around the yard. Good thing Ma's not very fast. Before we knew it all of us were laughing. What a ridiculous scene. Ma eventually "caught" us. She hugged and tickled Bobby; she put me in a head lock and dragged me inside. We got cleaned up and had dinner.

Ma and Lilly went a bit overboard with their cooking. Ma cooked a ham steak for me, but for all of us they made mashed potatoes, candied yam, green beans, a casserole, steamed Brussle sprouts, and yeast rolls. For dessert Lilly baked an apple pie and a pecan pie. We could hardly move after eating all that. After dinner it was time for presents. Ma surprised all of us. For Lilly she got a nice comb and brush. Bobby got a broomstick horse. She got me a new black derby hat. Lilly wanted to give her gifts next. I didn't know she had gotten any. She made Ma a hairpin. She gave Bobby some candy. To me she gave a tie that she made. I rather like it. It's a blue puff tie. Bobby was next in line. He gave Ma a picture he drew. He's really good at drawing I'm impressed. He gave Lilly some fabric, I wondered what he wanted that money for, and I got a handkerchief. Finally it was my turn. Ma was speechless. She loved the dress. Bobby didn't really care to have a tuxedo but was thankful. Lilly was mesmerized. I told her the dress was the latest design. I had Mrs. Young, the seamstress, make for her. She looked like she could cry at any moment. I ask them to try on their clothes. While waiting I changed into my new tuxedo as well. Bobby came down first. He needed help with his tie. When he saw that I had a matching tuxedo he was ecstatic. It was hard to get him to hold still long enough to tie his tie. Ma came next. She looked great in the dress it was just a bit long for her but she pinned it up. She even worn Lilly's hairpin. She loved our matching outfits. I told her to talk with Mrs. Young and she'd adjust the dress accordingly. Lastly Lilly came down. She was stunning. The dress fit her perfectly. Red is her color. She really is quite beautiful. After Ma pinned up Lilly's hair, we had one last surprise for Ma. Caroling...

Ma objected at first but relented. I had made up some music sheets with the lyrics of a few Christmas songs. We sang a couple in the house first to see how things would work out. We all agreed Ma would make a better spectator than participant. So, off we went. First stop was the Young's. Will teased Bobby a bit, that is until Mrs. Young "suggested" that they join us. Mrs. Young has a nice voice. She and Lilly really stole the show. After a few more stops we got to Mr. Harcourt's house. He had his family with him. James Jr. even had his new fiancé with him. Jr. had just proposed that day. I guess I should refrain from telling him that I've "met" her before. Anyways, they loved our caroling and as it turns out Jr.'s fiancé is a pianist and was looking for a part time job. They were talking to her about it earlier that day. Good old Mr. Harcourt, I can always count on him. Ma asked her to come by sometime and see if she'd like to play at The Pasture. After our goodbyes, we headed off to a few other houses. Lilly really wanted us to visit some of her friend's homes so that she could show off her dress. We agreed and off we went. That may have been the second mistake of the day. We ended up with 4 more carolers and when that sharp eared Joey heard us she came running up to join in. What started out as just a simple caroling turned into a full blow choir, sounded really good though. After a couple more houses we stopped by The Pasture and Ma made us all hot chocolate. We all talked and showed what we got for Christmas. Typical Joey got a bunch of gifts from the various love struck young men in the area. We had a small Christmas party right there in the saloon. After the party Mrs. Young took Will home, Ma took Bobby. Lilly and I walked her friends home. On the way back, Lilly took my arm and hugged it tight. She was so happy. By the time we got home she could barely stand she was so tired. I carried her upstairs and Ma helped her undress and get to bed. While they slept I placed the "Santa" gifts and filled their stockings with candy and treats.

Today was a good day.

December 25, 1890

Christmas Day and I don't know who was more excited the kids or Ma. It seems they've snuck down and have seen that Santa has been here. They woke me up in what I could only describe as the gentlest way, namely Bobby jumping up and down on my bed over me and Lilly pulling the sheets off me. Probably not a good thing that I sleep naked...Boy did Lilly ever look surprised. Ma who was watching all this, just about died laughing. Lilly looked as though she'd die of embarrassment. Bobby didn't understand what the big deal was. I guess Lilly and I are even now. We've both seen each other naked. HA!

As soon as I got dressed and Lilly calmed down, we all headed downstairs for Christmas. Bobby ran down as fast as he could. Lilly was second, but none the less excited. Ma and I sat down on the couch to watch. There were a few more presents than what I placed, I mean, what I remember Santa putting under there. Ma gave me a knowing smile. Bobby opened his first present. It was the toy holster and gun set I got him. He jumped up and immediately put it on. Bang! Bang! Ha ha haaa! He loved it. Said it was just like mine. Lilly was next, I didn't recognize this one. It was a new pair of shoes, very nice ones too. Ma told her to open up the one next to it. It was yet another dress. A fancy brightly colored one. Lilly said that she wanted to wear it next time she performed. Ma was happy about that. Bobby opened another. It was new school clothes. He wasn't happy about that. What little boy wants clothes for Christmas? The next one cheered him up, it was the toy horses and covered wagon. That's when Lilly opened hers. It was the doll that Mr. Brooks gave me. When she saw it she started crying. I didn't know what happened. Ma and I asked her what was wrong. She said that her mother had given her one just like it. She lost it in the fire that took her home and family. Ma picked Lilly up and sat her in her lap and just held her. Lilly cried and cried. I think she's been keeping it all bottled up inside. We let Lilly cry herself out before we continued. Bobby opened his last one to find a stuffed bear. Lilly's last present was a book of the latest music. Finally were stockings. Inside were mostly candies of different types. This was the best Christmas I can remember. Lilly seemed like she really cheered up. I guess she needed a good cry to lift all that weight off of her shoulders. She spent the rest of the day playing with her doll. She named it Belle. Bobby and I played with his toy guns. I showed him how to wear and how to draw them. We played until lunch. I had forgotten that we didn't have breakfast. After lunch Bobby ran off to show his new "guns" to Will. They played all that afternoon. Lilly's friends came over and they talked and giggled in her bedroom. I got a bit curious when I heard them all gasp. But its girl time and boys aren't welcome. I got even more curious when they came down and they all giggled and cooed when they saw me. I think Lilly told them of this morning. I'm making sure I at least wear underwear when I sleep tonight. After they left we had Christmas dinner. Mostly we had what was left over from yesterday, but Ma cooked up a bit of turkey for me, and made fresh mashed potatoes. Ma and Lilly washed dishes after dinner while Bobby and I picked up the rest of the house. It's been busy these past few days. After the kids went to bed, Ma thanked me for bringing them here. I guess she really was getting lonely. Ma had one more gift to give. She brought me a new pair of pistols, matching 1872 Colt revolvers. One had the standard seven and a half inch barrel the other, a four inch. Both had stag grips and were beautifully engraved. These are too beautiful to use, but Ma insists I wear them. I'll have to see what I can do about holsters. Mine are not nice enough. Ma hugged me and told me to be safe. I apologized for not having another gift for her. She laughed and said I gave her the best gift I possibly could have. I gave her those two bunnies to care for. What could I say? I just hugged her back. We called it a night after all that.

Post script: I made sure to wear underwear to bed.

December 26, 1890

Today was fun. Bobby and Will played cowboys and Indians. Lilly played with her doll and visited with her friends. Ma was at The Pasture preparing for Lilly's performance. I spoke with Jr. Harcourt about his fiancé playing for Ma. His fiancé, Mary Fellows a young sow about 25 years old, was a bit nervous about working in a saloon. She thought it'd be an improper place for her to work. I told her that Ma keeps the place respectable and that she'd only really be needed on Friday's and Saturday's to play alongside Lilly. She seemed to relax a bit after that. Jr., Ms. Fellows and I then headed to The Pasture. Ma was happy to see her, and told her about what she'd need to do, when and where she'd perform and showed her around a bit. While The Pasture was open there were very few people there, it was still early after all. That gave them time for Ma to show her around while Jr. and I caught up. After talking a bit and having a good laugh Ms. Fellows came up and wanted to try out. Jr. and I dug the piano out of the store room and brought it out. We set it up next to the stage against the wall. It took a couple of minutes for us to clean it up and I didn't know how it'd sound but it's better than nothing. Ms. Fellows is amazing, much too good to be playing in a saloon. She drew in a few onlookers from the street. As I expected the piano was out of tune, but she enjoyed it and took Ma up on her offer. Ms. Fellows knows someone who could tune it and get it working properly. She and Jr. hurried off to get him. It wasn't long before an older gent showed up and got to working on the piano. He worked for a few hours before he was satisfied, but he did a good job. That piano has never sounded so good. Ma paid him and he left just as Lilly arrived. She was wearing the dress that "Santa" gave her. I left and fetched Mr. Fellows; I wanted her to meet Lilly so that they could work out what songs to perform. Lilly was excited to meet her and to have someone to perform with. Joey showed up and just fueled the fire. Those three were going to bring the house down. Their first performance was to a grand audience of six, including Jr., Ma, and I. But they had fun and Ms. Fellows gained enough confidence to want to comeback on Friday and give a real performance. I talked her and Lilly into meeting sometime and practicing some songs so that they are more prepared for their performance, as next time...they'll have an audience. After the impromptu performance we all headed home. The day after Christmas is always slow even on a Saturday.

December 27, 1890

That Preacher... Oh, well. Church was Church, got evil-eyed by the Preacher again. Only thing different was that Lilly's friends kept eyeing me and giggling every time I looked in their direction. Ughhh...how am I going to get out of this one? Lilly was so embarrassed I could feel the heat off of her blushing face. Perhaps I should just play with them a bit. Could be fun teasing them. Then again that could be dangerous. I think I'll just let things take their course.

Lazy day again today didn't do much of anything.

December 28, 1890

School's out for the week. That means lots of time to spend with Lilly and Bobby. We slept in fairly late. After breakfast we all pretty much went our separate ways. Kids ran off to play with their friends. I wandered around looking for entertainment. Found it! That sweet little filly Beth and her feline friend Clair were out having lunch. They invited me to join them. Who am I to turn down such a gracious offer? Lunch was interesting. I'll have you know that it's quite difficult to play footsy with two girls at once while eating and holding a conversation at the same time. We adjourned to Clair's private quarters. I think I learned a thing or two today. One, never underestimate the power of a cat's tongue; secondly when girls are willing to double up, that doesn't mean that you're the only one getting their attention. We stopped for drinks and dinner at some point but were quickly back at it. I stumbled in sometime around 4am. I bathed and went to bed.

December 29, 1890

I woke to a lot of giggling. I didn't know but Lilly had invited her friends for a slumber party. Lilly wasn't in the room but her friends were. They all scattered when they saw me opening my eyes. I looked down to discover that I had forgotten to wear underwear again. Fortunately the sheets were covering my waist, although they were only a couple of inches away from getting a full view. They may have anyways. I dressed and made my way downstairs. I got me a cup of coffee and turned to see them all staring and blushing. One said "Good Morning" in a way that said "I saw you naked". I grumbled "Morning". This is not how I wanted to start my day. I was already hung-over from last night. Lilly managed a timid "Good Morning", she then informed me that her friends would be staying the day and spending the night again. Wonderful...I feel like I'm going to get visually raped by a bunch of thirteen year old girls. I headed upstairs, got cleaned up, and promptly left. I spent most of the day napping in the park, sleeping off my hangover.

By dinner time, I figured they must have calmed down and I was feeling better. I went home and was going to make dinner, however Lilly and her friends had beaten me to it. Fortunately one of the girls made enough pork chops for both of us. We ate, they cleaned up; I read a book in the corner under the lamp. I was going to wait for them to go to bed but they were still up at midnight. I had to tell them that it was way past bedtime. They responded with giggles. Are all young girls like this? Took them a full hour to settle down and fall asleep. I put a bell on the inside of my door. I don't want them sneaking in on me again. I sleep too hard at home.

December 30, 1890

I was woken by my bell. Looks like it worked. The girls all pouted at me that morning. Except for Lilly, she seemed embarrassed by her friend's antics. They left sometime after helping Lilly clean up. Her little slumber party was...interesting. Bobby came home sometime around noon. He was smart; he stayed over at the Young's place while Lilly was having her party. Ma was awfully quiet about all of it. Normally she'd make a big fuss over all the noise and foolishness. Ma just looked happy about it. Guess I can't count on her to break them up. She's happy to have them over. Today ended up quiet and peaceful. Even Lilly looked relieved.

December 31, 1890

New Year's Eve, normally Ma take Thursday's off but being a special event she worked today. I helped out keeping things peaceful. Lilly, Ms. Fellows, and Joey are performing tonight, their first real performance. Lilly and Ms. Fellows practiced quite a bit this week preparing for it. They started off a bit shaky. Ms. Fellows had a bit of stage fright. But she relaxed and they put on a wonderful show. Surprisingly everyone was on their best behavior. I even made a bit on cards. Tonight was a lucky night. At midnight we had a count down, everyone cheered and danced to the music. Mrs. Fellows enjoyed herself, and Lilly sang her heart out. Joey's dancing was spot on she even danced with a few of the men in the saloon. Everyone had a good time. We didn't get back until 3am; Ma took Lilly home around 1.

January 1, 1891

The city is still celebrating. They never stopped from last night. That's one thing that'll never change about New Orleans; people here know how to have a good time. Lilly lost her voice again, so Ma gave her the day off. I would be surprised if her voice was fine after all that. We relaxed most of the day today but Ma and I worked this evening. Ms. Fellows was great on the piano. She started a bit scared but quickly relaxed and played extremely well. Why she's not performing with an orchestra is beyond me. She has more talent than anyone I've ever seen. Then again it's not my place to question her. Tonight wasn't as peaceful as last night. Ma and I had to toss a few kill joys, in Ma's case that's literal, but no one was hurt and everyone had a good time so I'll call it a good night.

January 2, 1891

It's been fairly cold lately. We've been going through firewood and heating coal very quickly. We got a delivery of coal this morning while Bobby and I were splitting wood again. Shame those gas furnace systems are so expensive. I showed Bobby where the coal door was and what to do when the delivery comes. He needs to know in case Ma or I are not here for the next one. After the delivery, we returned to splitting wood for the stove. We finished a bit after noon and got cleaned up. Lilly's voice had returned so she wanted to perform again. Bobby stayed over at the Young's place again and I walked Lilly to The Pasture. Ma took one look at us and kicked us out. She made a big fuss. "Dammit! Flint! You otta have more sense than that! Makin' Lilly sing...Why she just done got 'er voice back! You should be ashamed." She looked at Lilly, "Sugar, get yer narra behind home and rest! They'll be plenty o' time for ya ta sing. Go on! Git!" She shooed us out. I asked Lilly if she'd like to go shopping or anything, but Lilly was a bit upset. She doesn't like it when Ma doesn't let her sing. So we called it an early night and went home.

January 3, 1891

Damnable preacher, always riding hurt on me. I can hardly say hello before he digs his spurs in. Today was another quiet day. Being the first Sunday of the month the church had a potluck after services. Some of the dishes were...interesting. I spent most of the day trying to avoid Lilly's friends. They still giggle and coo each time they see me. Ugh...

I've decided that I'm going to do some more traveling soon. I've gone up and down the Mississippi River enough to have seen all of it at least once in every season. I think I'm going to head west. I want to see where I came from. All I remember is that I'm from somewhere around Ft. Worth. I think I'll start there and see if I can find out why I ended up alone in New Orleans. It'll be a few days for me to make the necessary arraignments and gather the supplies I'll need. I think I'll be taking the Missouri Pacific train to Ft. Worth. If I read the map correctly I should take the train to Texarkana then board The Texan from there which should take me to Ft. Worth. At least that's my plan. I don't know how Lilly and Bobby are going to take it. I have the feeling they're not going to like me leaving. I'll talk to them about it soon. First I have to figure out exactly when I'll be leaving and what to expect.

I'll sign off here. Don't want to over think this now. I have plenty of time later for that.

January 4, 1891

Walked Lilly and Bobby to school, it's their first day back after the winter break. They were excited to see their friends. I left them and headed over to the train station. I spoke with the manager about planning out my trip. I found out that there is a shorter route I'll take the train to Shreveport and from there I can hop on the train to Ft. Worth. He said that now's not really a good time to go as the weather can be a bit unpredictable, waiting until spring would be a better idea. But I don't care about the weather. I'll be in a train not in a wagon. Weather shouldn't be an issue. Besides if it's cold I'll wear a coat. I spoke with him a while longer about hotels and things. I think I'll head out in a week or two. I left, got lunch and hit up a gambling den for the afternoon. Today was not a good day. I won $200 but ended up losing $300. Damn. Here I was thinking that my luck had turned for the better. I didn't back home until 2am.

January 5, 1891

I woke up to a quiet house. Quiet except for Ma's snoring. After losing all that money yesterday I need to see about getting it back. So, I'm going to go stir up some trouble. I'll let you know how things go later on.

January 6, 1891

Alright! Had a good day! I "earned" $1500 today. Here's what happened. After breakfast I made my way down to the post office and to the police station and I picked up some wanted posters. I figured that some bounty hunting would be a good way to earn some quick cash. It was way too easy. Found a bounty of $1000 on a man wanted for murder, dead or alive. Dead is easy, but it doesn't sit well with me, so I take them alive if at all possible. Bounty's name is Murdock; he's a weasel, about 5'8" 150lbs, with a powder burn on his right ear. Poster had a good picture of him and the information mentioned that he was last seen in New Orleans and likes to drink. With that I set out. I hit up every bar, saloon and dance hall I could find. After a few hours I found him. He seemed likable enough, he didn't care for the waitresses though, and I found out why. He likes men. I knew I could use that to my advantage. So, I let him spot me watching him from across the bar. He liked the smile I shot him and he returned it. I moved from the bar to a rather secluded table and he joined me, sitting in the chair next to mine. We got to talking about this and that and we shared a few drinks. Man he was annoying, I was trying to get him drunk so that it'd be easy to haul him to the police station, but he could hold his liquor. I had to change my plans, if drinking him under won't work then seduction might. While talking I started rubbing my tail up against his and leaning in closer to him. He met my advances and started rubbing my leg. He then suggested that we find a quieter place to talk. I accepted. Just what I was wanting, if I could get him in a private place and get him to turn his back on me I could knock him out and carry him. Well, that didn't work out either. He paid the bill, I'll admit that was nice of him, and we walked to a nearby hotel. He walked next to me the entire time. We got to his room and low and behold he had his guard up the entire time. There was no way he was going to turn his back to me. So I did what I had to. Luckily, I don't exactly object to this kind of activity, but you'd think he'd be on the receiving end at least once. He was pretty big for a weasel, and he was pretty good in bed. I can't say I didn't enjoy it. After a night of it he finally fell asleep cuddling my tail. As quietly as I could, I got my pistol and buffaloed him in his sleep. He was out cold. I got us dressed and took Murdock to the police station. I was given the bounty and I headed home, $1000 richer and feeling like a pin cushion. On my way, I tripped over a drunk that had fallen asleep in an alley. I picked him up and was going to move him out of the way when I saw his face. I thought he looked familiar, I check the wanted posters I had and saw that he had a $500 bounty on him for theft. Easy enough, I carried him to the station and got paid for him as well. I made it back home just before dawn.

I spent most of today napping and I deposited the $1500 in the bank a bit after noon. The kids were glad to see me. They kept asking me where I was last night. All I could tell them was that I was working.

Night couldn't come soon enough.

January 7, 1891

All I did today was walk Lilly to Ms. Fellows' house for their rehearsal. They are getting really good. Ms. Fellows, I think, is starting to have fun with this.

January 8, 1891

Ma asked me to help her with the shopping today. While picking up the different groceries, I told Ma of my plan to head off to Texas for a while and find out where I came from. She seemed worried but said that that's probably a good idea. I'm glad that she's alright with this. It means a lot to me. We agreed that I should wait until Sunday to tell the kids, especially Lilly, she's gotten rather attached to me over these past couple of months. I carried the groceries home while Ma left to walk the rabbits from school. I had to help Lilly with her homework again. Bobby doesn't seem to have any trouble with his. After dinner I sat on the couch reading again when Lilly sat next to me hugging my arm and resting her head on my shoulder. Damn she's adorable. I couldn't resist teasing her a little bit. I looked down at her, right into her eyes and said "Lilly, you're beautiful. Marry me." Her eyes grew big and she blushed and looked down at her hands. When she looked back up at me, I could only laugh. That's when she realized I was teasing her. She punched me in the arm and called me a jerk and huffed off. Ha ha!! Ma just glared at me.

January 9, 1891

Friday again, the day wasn't very interesting but this evening was. Oh! You should have seen Lilly and Ms. Fellows' show. Between Lilly's singing, Ms. Fellows' piano, and Joey's dancing, we had a rip roaring good time. All the activity brought in a lot of customers. I helped Ma keep things civil, but that really wasn't a problem. Everyone was having a good time and we only had to escort a few people that had drunk too much outside. It was a grand time. Lilly got a lot of cheers and thanks on her way out. She may be the singer but she still has a bedtime. I got her home just before midnight. She was still excited from the performance.

January 10, 1891

Ma and I let Lilly sleep in all she wanted today. Bobby was going to spend the night with Young's again. They are very kind to let Bobby stay over so much. Speaking of the Young's Will spent the day with us. I mentioned how nice the weather was and said that it'd be a great day to fly a kite. Will said that he'd never flown one before. Well, we can't let that happen. So, Will, Bobby and I made kites and had lunch while the glue was drying. After it had dried we headed down to the park and Bobby showed Will what to do. They had a great time running up and down the park, kites closely in tow. I took a more laid back approach. Once mine had gotten into the higher winds I tied it on my foot, and I took a nap in the sun. Lilly fetched us a bit later on. It was dinner time and we needed to get cleaned up.

After dinner the boys headed over to Will's house and the rest of us went to The Pasture. Ms. Fellows was there waiting for us. She was just as excited as Lilly to get started. Apparently word about last night's performance has spread. The place was packed. That also meant that a few undesirables got in as well but Ma took care of that in one fell swoop. Some young buck made the mistake of grabbing at Lilly's dress. Ma dropped him with one hit on the head, knocked the antlers right off of him. She then picked him up and threw him HARD out the door. Everyone got real nice after that. Don't know what became of him, doesn't matter though. Except for that one interruption it was great night.

January 11, 1891

I've had it with the Preacher. His damn attitude has gotten my last nerve. So today I spoke to him about it. So, I slept with his niece a couple of times. She was of age and we were in a relationship up until he sent her off to a convent. He had more than a few choice words for me as well. I didn't know it but her mother died giving birth to her due to complications and that she's the same way. He didn't want to lose his niece to any "accidents". I suppose I can understand where he's coming from but still. It's been 10 years. You'd think he'd lighten up a bit. Beh!

Ma took Lilly shopping today. Bobby and Will played somewhere in the neighborhood. I just spent the day reading the travel brochures and train maps. I think I'll leave in about two weeks. That'll give me plenty of time to get everything ready and possibly earn some more money.

After dinner I called Lilly and Bobby in to the living room. I told them of my plans and my reasons behind it. Lilly looked devastated, Bobby wanted to come with me. I told them that they have to stay, but that I would make several return trips to visit with them here and there, and they seemed to perk up a bit. We spent the rest of the evening on the couch talking. They curled up under my arms and eventually they fell asleep. Ma and I carried them to their room. I put Bobby to bed while Ma helped Lilly undress and get in bed.

January 12, 1891

I walked the kids to school today. It was a quiet walk. They're still a bit upset at the thought of me leaving. I'll have to do something to cheer them up. What that is...I don't have the faintest clue on. Perhaps Mr. Harcourt would know. I'll talk to him about it tomorrow. Anyways, while the kids were in school I spent the day gathering a few of the things I'll need for my trip. First off was a trip to Dutchy. Figured it'd be best to get him out of the way as soon as possible.

Dutchy didn't greet me the way he usually does. He was happy up until he spotted me. He then huffed and puffed around and greeted me rather curtly. I made the distinct mistake of asking him what he was mad about. Boy did he ever chew my butt out. However it all boiled down to him being jealous. He found out about me sleeping with that weasel, and "How dare I not invite him!"... Damn it Dutchy. Gotta be difficult don't you. Beh... He wouldn't even take an order for a new coat. Fine, I'll let him cool off and I'll come back another time. If not I'll just find a different tailor. He may be the best but he's not the only one. I left and bought me some new boots, and I talked to a leather smith about getting some new holsters made for my pistols. After placing my order, I took my pistols in to a gunsmith and had the action worked. I spent the afternoon there talking with him. Gruff fellow but personable enough I suppose. He does great work; trigger was light and action smooth. He even slicked up my derringer. It's never been this good. I made it home in time for dinner and afterwards I helped Lilly finish her homework.

January 13, 1891

More of the same today, kids are sad about me leaving; Dutchy is still upset with me. And I'm stuck in the middle. I spoke with Mr. Harcourt about me leaving and the kids being upset. He suggested having a going away party. He said that a little party the night before I leave would lift their spirits. Sounds like a good idea. Only problem is what to do with them in the mean time. I suppose that's the answer though. I should do things with them. This weekend we'll do something fun. I spent the rest of the day meandering about not doing a whole lot of anything.

January 14, 1891

Today I went down to the Théâtre de l'Opéra or the French Opera House to see what was being performed. Le Cid by Massenet, a comedy is currently being performed but Sigurd by Ernest Reyer will be starting soon. I almost don't want to leave now. I'll bring Lilly here and we'll watch Le Cid. I think she'd enjoy it. I bought a pair of tickets for tomorrow night. I'll do something with Bobby Saturday.

That's about all I did today, at least that's worth mentioning. I'll surprise Lilly with the tickets tomorrow.

January 15, 1891

After the kids went off to school I went to see the leather smith. He'd gotten the belt cut out and was tooling it when I showed up. He does nice work. He said that he'll be lining the insides of both the belt and the holsters with softer, thinner leather. According to him, that'll make the belt more comfortable and make it easier to get the guns out. That's good to hear. I didn't have that done on my last gun belt; I wonder how it'll feel. He said that he'll need my guns this afternoon to form the holsters but that it won't take long. I'll bring them later on. I left the smith's shop and headed over to Dutchy's again. He seems to have calmed down, but was still a bit moody. I asked him to make a decent traveling coat to match my usual suit. He agreed and I left him to his work. While wandering around a bit I found a nice suitcase. The corner was a bit damaged but otherwise it was in great shape. I was able to haggle with the clerk and I got it for a low price. Since I won't have a room on a riverboat like usual I can't rely on having closets. I'll get a lot of use out of this suitcase. I dropped it off at home and headed over to the leather smith shop. I gave him my pistols and watched him work. I've never seen this done so I was a bit curious. He soaked the leather for the holster in water. While it was soaking he wrapped my pistols in some thin cloth then tightly wrapped that with the wet leather. He set it near his fireplace to dry. Once dry he gave me back my pistols and said that that was all he needed, and that he'd have the gunbelt ready in a few days.

I left and went home after that. I bathed and got dressed just as the kids got home. I came downstairs to greet them and Ma asked why I got all dolled up. I said, "I've got a surprise for Lilly. She should get dressed up as well." And I gave her a little wink. She hurried upstairs and dressed in her Sunday's best, when she came down I told her we were going to the theatre. She looked confused at first, the nearby Vaudeville theatre was between shows. I smiled and showed her the tickets. She still didn't understand so I patted her on her head and said I was going to show her some fancy singing. Bobby was a bit jealous but he'll get his turn.

We left and boarded a trolley. First on the agenda was a nice walk around the better part of town. She enjoyed looking at all the fancy dresses the women wore, and was awed by the size of the buildings. We ate dinner at a more upscale restaurant than what we normally eat at. Afterwards we went to the show. Being an odd day, I was able to get great seats. The show was great. Lilly was mesmerized. After the show she told me that she's never heard singing like that. I promised her I'd take her to see another one next time I'm in town. We made our way to the trolley and during the ride all she could talk about were the arias and the singers. We had a great time.

January 16, 1891

Completely forgot about Lilly's homework. Luckily she only had a bit of arithmetic so we were able to get it done quickly before school. I apologized to her about that. I walked them to school and while they studied I thought it would be a good idea to take care of the weekend chores so that Bobby and I would be free on Saturday. I spent the morning chopping firewood, after lunch I mended the fence and cleaned up the yard. That's about all I did today. Again I played guard at The Pasture during Lilly's show, but everyone was on their best behavior. I'm guessing word got around about Ma knocking out that deer with a single blow, everyone was polite.

January 17, 1891

Today's Saturday, which means no school. I asked Bobby if there's anything he'd like to do. All he could come up with was playing. So I figured that I'd spend the day playing with him. We played a few games when Will showed up and joined in. We ended up playing a game of Cowboys and Indians. Of course I was the Indian. I guess we got to be a bit loud as Ma came out to yell at us. Big mistake! Just like that she was the Indian, and was chased out of the yard. Ma joined in and we snuck around both sides of the house to ambush the "cowboys". They had bunched up near the corner where Ma would be coming from so I distracted them and Ma got them from behind! She was hugging and tickling them when the funniest thing happened. Bobby slipped free and accidentally pulled Ma's blouse open causing her breasts to fall out. Her breasts are still fairly full despite her age. Ma, surprised, bolted inside and up to her room. Bobby and I looked at each other in disbelief then saw that Will had disappeared. I heard Ma making a ruckus upstairs so we rushed up to see what happened. Only to discover...Will. In her "excitement" she forgot that she was still holding Will and carried him upstairs. That mouse's ears were beet red. Bobby asked him if he was alright, all he could say was "Big boobies". HA HA HA!!!!! Oh this is too good. Ma was giving me crap the other day about letting Lilly see me naked. Ma eventually made her way back down. I sat on the fence and when she came out I just looked at her and smiled. Ma said "Don' give me that shit eatin' grin. Don' even start. Don' say nuthin'. Don' even breathe!" I replied "Oh, I'm not saying anything....Not my business who you breastfeed." Will blushed even deeper. Ma...decked me.

She was still grumpy at The Pasture.

January 18, 1891

Not much happened today. I somewhat successfully avoided the preacher. Ma took Bobby shopping for some school supplies. Lilly was out with her friends. Me? I'm nursing this swollen eye that Ma gave me.

Post Script: It is difficult getting around with only one eye.

January 19, 1891

I checked on my holsters today. They're done except for letting the sealer set which he applied this morning. Dutchy is almost done with my coat. He said that it'd be ready tomorrow. That's fine. That'll give me plenty of time. I made my way over to the train station and purchased my tickets. I'll be leaving on Sunday morning. Guess I should say goodbye to the preacher. He'll be devastated when I leave... Heh.

I headed over to Mr. Harcourt's general store. Mostly I wanted to talk but also to pick up the last few things I'll need on my trip. Namely a couple of containers of tooth powder and a new tooth brush. I also picked up a new bottle of cologne, and some other small odds and ends. I spoke with Mr. Harcourt and Jr. for a while. I wanted Mr. Harcourt's advice on what I might find. I'm a bit worried that I'll find something that I don't want to know. Or what might be worse is that I'll find nothing at all. Gave me the best advice I've heard in a long time. He said "It doesn't matter what you find, good, bad, or nothing at all. All that you'll discover is what happened in the past; things that will never change and things that can't change who or what you are. It doesn't matter what happened in the past, what matters most is who you choose to be, now and in the future." Good old Mr. Harcourt. He always has a way of putting me at ease. I asked Jr. to check in on Lilly and Bobby from time to time and make sure they're alright. He laughed. He said he'd do that even if I didn't ask. It's good to have people you can count on. After that we talked about different things before I headed home again. I had lost track of time and the kids were home before I arrived. I told them that my train leaves on Sunday but that I was planning on being gone for about two months. I was planning on returning late March as that's Pa's birthday. I told them about Pa and how I came to live with them, and I also explained why everyone calls Ma "Ma". She used to get so mad at anyone that called her that, except for Pa and I. Now that Pa's gone, she won't have it any other way.

I spoke to long and before I knew it, it was time for dinner, homework, and bed.

January 20, 1891

After walking the kids to school I went by Dutchy's and got my coat. It fit perfectly. He cheered up quite a bit since I talked with him a week ago. I left there and got my holsters. They were a bit tight on the guns but I'll work them a bit with some saddle soap and they should loosen up. He did a nice job on these. Have a cross draw on the left and a straight draw on the right. I think that I'll wear the short barreled in the cross draw. I'll be able to get to it quickly that way. I'll have the longer one in the strong side holster. Then again these holsters are open on the end so I can switch which gun I have in the holster without problem.

I didn't have much to do today so I just meandered around feeling out the new gunbelt. I think it'll be a while before it stops creaking.

January 21, 1891

I took it easy again today. About all I did was take my laundry in to get cleaned and pressed. This morning I worked some saddle soap and conditioner into the holsters. They loosened up quite a bit. They're still a bit tight for my liking but they'll break in soon enough. I wore my pistols today for the first time. I really like them.

January 22, 1891

Ma's off today so we decided that we'll all go out to eat tonight, my treat of course. That made the kids excited. Ma walked them to school and I fixed a few things around the house that needed attention. I didn't want to leave and let Ma worry about them. So, today was basically a chore day again. After the kids returned from school, I helped them with their homework and we left for dinner. It was a fairly uneventful evening.

January 23, 1891

Today was another work day for me, finishing up what I didn't yesterday. I picked up my laundry, and had another quiet day. Wish the evening was this quiet.

We had a bit of trouble at Lilly's show tonight. That buck that Ma swatted was back, and making passes at Lilly again. I confronted him about it but he had backup tonight. They wanted to make me pay for hurting their friend. I told them that I didn't hit him. Ma did. Ma stood behind them, a mountain about to explode. Boy, were they in trouble. I've never seen Ma that mad before. She asked me to hold one of them for her while she dealt with the other two. I pinned the buck down while she dragged the other two off to the alley behind the saloon. A few minutes later she came back in and grabbed the now whimpering deer and carried him out as well. While carrying him, she looked back at me and told me to get the doctor. Ohhh, that's not good. She was going to hurt him, badly. I ran and fetched the doctor and his nurse, and hurried them back as fast as I could. Ma had pummeled him. Doc said she broke just about every bone in his body, that he'd be lucky to survive, much less move right. That's all I'm going to say about tonight. I'll just add that no force on Earth can stop her when she gets that mad.

January 24, 1891

I'm leaving tomorrow, first thing in the morning. So I thought it'd be best if I spent the day packing and making sure that I had everything that I'd need. I was in the middle of laying out my things when there was a knock on the door. It was a policeman. He was asking about last night. I invited him in and we talked. I told him about how that buck had been harassing Lilly, a thirteen year old girl, and that Ma had swatted him just a couple of weeks before. I was informed that he was wanted for a number of charges like that, always going after young girls, but they weren't able to pin anything on him as the witnesses wouldn't talk. He wanted our help to put him behind bars. I told him that I only saw him last night that I didn't see him the first time. I only saw him being tossed out. Ma came downstairs about that time. She'd been up drinking until late. The officer told her of the buck and asked for her help in pressing charges. Ma sobered up really quick. She smiled at him and said, "I was feelin' bad 'bout pounding him like that. I lost my temper. Now that I know what he is, I don' feel bad a'tall. In fact, I'd like to 'VISIT' him once he recovers." The officer smiled and asked if that means that she'll press charges. Her reply was simple and direct if not elegant. "HELL YES!" We spoke to the officer for a bit more before he left and he thanked us for our cooperation. Ma was in a much better mood after that. She said "Tonight! We're closin' the saloon. We're gonna have ourselves a private party and invite everyone we know!" Guess she forgot what private means. Oh well. She headed off to The Pasture to get things ready, she told me to be there at 8. "Yes, Mama"

I finished packing and set my clothes for tomorrow out. I'll be leaving some here for when I return. I've gotten ready and I'm heading out soon. I'll let you know about it later.

January 25, 1891

Ugh, I'm never drinking again. I know I've said it before but this time I mean it. I'm seeing three of everything. I'll tell you about it later. Right now let's just say that somehow I got on my train and I've gotten a sleeper cabin. Thank God.

Alright, so...last night was a lot of fun, I guess you could call it that. Ma did indeed close the saloon down and we had a party. A lot of people showed up, besides Ma and the kids, Mr. and Mrs. Young came and brought Will. Mr. Harcourt came with his wife, Jr. and his Ms. Fellows. Mr. Brooks came and dropped off a couple of gifts. Joey was there of course. Dutchy made a grand appearance, often clinging and "weeping" on my shoulder. Almost glad I won't see him for a while. And for a big surprise he brought along Beth and Clair. The bay horse and cat I "befriended". He was up to something but I'll get to that later though. A few others stopped by and said their goodbyes. Ma set a few bottles out on the bar top and said that drinks were on the house, rousing more than a few cheers. The kids got soda pop of course. It seemed like every time I finished a drink my glass would magically be filled again. Ms. Fellows and Lilly performed a few songs which got everyone up and dancing. I was being pulled to and fro by Beth, Clair, and Joey. I didn't realize it at the time but that was all part of Dutchy's plan. That evil, EVIL ram! Before long I was drunk and feeling stupid and the four of us, the girls and I, snuck off to Joey's room. There was so many bodies and fur and things that I didn't notice that Dutchy had slithered in. I was enjoying myself so much that I didn't bother to look at who was bent over in front of me. I felt a rump pushing up against me and so I pushed back. I ended up screwing that damn ram in front of the girls. What made things worse was that it didn't end there. After I finished in him I turned and grabbed Joey and was enjoying her when Dutchy climbed onto my back and pushed himself inside me. I wasn't drunk enough not to notice, but I was too far gone to care so I let him. I was so lost in all the sex that I forgot to pull out of Joey. I really hope I didn't get her pregnant. I had at least one turn with the four of them, and Dutchy took me at least three times. And happy that he finally got some from me, left. A few minutes later, Ma came bursting in, yelling and making all kinds of fuss over how I left the party. I hardly had time to get my pants back on when she dragged me back to the party. Men cheering, Lilly blushing, and Dutchy...That damn Dutchy sat at the end of the bar, smiling. Damn him. I had to spend the rest of the party smelling of girls and trying to keep Dutchy's 'deposits' from running down my leg. We had several more drinks and at some point the kids went home, and we had more drinks. Next thing I know I'm being herded onto the train. I checked and my luggage is here and my clothes have been changed. I still smelled of sex though. I took as much of a bath as I could in the washroom. I'm not completely clean but at least I don't smell like ram anymore.

This is a long ride, something around 30 hours until I switch trains. So, I think that I'll save my pen and write when I get there or if something happens. Goodbye for now.

Post script: I think my smell this morning managed to secure me a private cabin. Good.

-End Chapter 1-