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Robin's Desire

Chapter 25

Robin glanced listlessly at the forest that spread away before her, and it suddenly occurred to her that she didn't have a clue where in the nine kingdoms they actually were. Mogethis had teleported them from the ball and away to a countryside she didn't recognize. Not that she would anyway. Robin had barely been outside of Howlester, let alone Varimore.

"Where are we going?" Robin asked tonelessly. She wasn't even certain why she asked. She didn't care where they were going. Why should it matter? She would never see her parents or Zeinara or anyone ever again. Cackling Bird would make certain of that. She blinked as she realized that she missed Hadly's cookies.

After Mogethis took them from the ball, she and Robin had traveled through the forest for weeks, and Robin had never uttered a word. She was too . . . sad. She was too lost in the confusion of fear and doubt. In submitting to Yfel, she had given up her world, and she mourned that which she had lost in bitter silence. Each night, she dreamt of Jonathan and Corene. In the beginning, they missed her and were very upset that she had vanished. Jonathan had taken to drinking more heavily than ever, and Corene would sit on the balcony with her great white curls disheveled, staring at the sky with unseeing eyes as she wept and prayed for Robin to come home. Then one day, Corene was sick in her chamber pot, and as Jonathan held back her mane for her, they both realized she was pregnant. They wept and they held each other . . . and they were tears of joy. Jonathan and Corene were finally happy, and because Robin was out of their life. Robin thought of it every day . . . and it broke her. She had been the problem.

Present-day Mogethis seemed caught off guard by Robin's sudden decision to speak. "All these weeks, child," she said without looking at Robin, "and you finally open that pretty mouth?" She shook her head, leaning her weight on her walking stick as they trudged uphill. Her long robes trailed heavily through the grass, and her long white mane tumbled wild and frayed down her back. "The silence is shattered when you move your tongue. Such power in you . . . it is like the heat of lightning."

Mogethis was speaking the language of the dogs, but somehow, Robin knew she would be able to understand the language of the foxes just fine. The night she made her wish, Cackling Bird had been speaking it, and she had understood it perfectly.

They came to the top of the hill and looked out across the yellow field. Trees encroached upon the meadow, casting long shadows over the endless sea of red and pink flowers. In the center of the sun-struck grass, a tall and ancient shrine stood, cracked and crumbling in the sunlight, chipping with age. The shrine was of stone and surrounded by statues. Robin recognized the bird gods who stood around the shrine in a half-circle, wings folded, beaks down. She recognized them because she had seen the same shrine in her dreams as she wandered the forest, asleep and unaware. The largest statue of all was of Cackling Bird. Yfel's great stone likeness stood in the center and cast its pall over the sunny field, wings spread, purple gem-eyes glistening with madness, beak open in silent laughter.

"You didn't answer my question," Robin pointed out listlessly. "Where are we? And more importantly, why are we here?"

Mogethis made a scoffing noise. "You pretend to care," she said with a sneer. "You have known of Yfel's call for some time, and yet you ignored her. You are unworthy of her and what greatness she intends for you! I should be the one who . . .!" The sorceress trailed off, and when her ears pricked forward, Robin knew she was listening to something. Mogethis glanced down and swallowed guiltily, and Robin could swear the vixen had just been admonished. "Save your questions for She of Madness," Mogethis said to the grass. She stopped, clutching her walking stick in both paws, her slanted blue eyes fixed on the shrine. "Go, child. She awaits."

Robin hitched up the skirts of her pink party dress and waded through the tall grass. Her dress was filthy and torn and stained with mud. If Corene could see her now, she would scold her to hell and back. The dress had cost Jonathan quite a lot, and had been tailored for Robin for her twentieth birthday. Not that such things mattered now. Jonathan and Corene would have a new child, one they could both claim, and they would love it and raise it together . . . and their suffering would end. All she had to do was go to the shrine.

"The clothes," Mogethis said behind her. "You should go skyclad. She will want to . . . appraise you."

Before Robin could respond, she felt the warmth of the vixen's magic spreading over her back. She gasped softly and clutched her naked breasts as her pink down tore of its own volition and tumbled away in shreds. Her petticoat, her dress, her corsets, all of it collapsed in the soft rustling grass, and she stood naked in the wind, young and beautiful, long red curls spilling around her shoulders and to her tail.

Exposed and uncertain, Robin stared at the tatters in the grass. Her dress was gone now, as was everything she had ever known in her life before. And she could never look back.

"Go, child," Mogethis whispered, her voice like the rasp of the bitter wind. "I will be here."

Robin swallowed and stepped out of her slippers. The shrine awaited her, towering in the sunlight, casting its long shadow. Yfel's statue seemed to swallow the sky, silently beckoning with its sparkling eyes. As she climbed the steps, Robin was not surprised when Cackling Bird manifested beneath the statue, appearing just as she had in Robin's dreams: a female with the short, stout body of a child, her mane of lavender plume tumbling everywhere in the wind, her eyes sparkling and blank with insanity.

"Child," the bird said softly and its beak curled in a smile. "My child."

Robin stopped before the bird and realized the goddess was blind. Blind . . . and yet she could see her_._ The white eyes did not look at her but through her, as if into her being. The great plume tumbled when the bird's head tilted, as if listening to her thoughts.

"I will see you better here," the bird said calmly. "Clear. No fog."

Robin blinked and found herself surrounded by darkness, in a place that was windless and soundless. She glanced around the void and hugged herself, resisting the sensation that she would fall through the floorless nothing. She could hear the Cackling Bird behind her, the soft rustle of her feathers. She walked a slow circle around Robin, and there in that dark place, seemed able see with her blank eyes, eyes that glanced up and down Robin's naked body.

It suddenly occurred to Robin that Cackling Bird was blind in the real world, but perfectly capable in this other world. She had to wonder where they were. According to Mogethis, Seers always blinded themselves so they could receive Yfel's visions in Skkye, but perhaps blind Seers allowed Yfel to see into their world as well. The ritual was not a gift but an exchange: the Seers saw into Skkye, and Yfel saw into Aonre. Mogethis had told Robin about Skkye in their long journeys, but somehow, Robin knew they weren't in Skkye. It was too dark here, too cold and soundless, whereas Skkye was all sound and light, even on the bottommost tier.

"You are well-informed, child," Cackling Bird said, as if emerging from Robin's thoughts. "Good. Do not be afraid. I have brought you to the place between. I have brought your soul here. That Yfel might appraise it."

Robin hugged herself and peered stiffly past the Cackling Bird. Her voice had a clicking accent not unlike Mogethis. "Appraise me for what?" she asked dispassionately. She suddenly felt too drained to care and stood with the curls draping in her eyes.

The bird cackled, loudly and heartily. "Raaa! Does she not even care what Mother asks of her?"

"I get the feeling you aren't asking."

The bird cackled again. "Ahahaha. Yfel always asks her children. There is always a choice."

"Was there a choice for my mother?" Robin asked coldly. She started when the bird drew close in a flurry of feathers and hissed in her ear, "She could have killed you."

Robin averted her eyes as the bird's breath left her cheek hot. She was clutching her breasts in fistfuls as the goddess circled her slowly, and she hated that she was naked. Her tail clung tight to her leg. She didn't want to move. "What are _my_choices?"

"If the girl wants it, she may rule all of existence," the goddess answered casually. She was behind Robin, still and silently appraising.

Robin stiffened when the bird's claw closed on one of the plump cheeks under her tail. The fingers slowly squeezed.

"Very nice," the goddess whispered. "You will make many new children for the halls of Skkye."

"W-What?" Robin stammered and was relieved when the goddess let her backside go.

Yfel came to face Robin, her wings folded across her beak. She peered at Robin over the mass of lavender feathers that covered her arms, more feathers spilling in her gaze in a wild and magnificent mane. Her eyes were round with a sorrow Robin hadn't expected.

"Will you do as I say, child?"

Robin was silent. She didn't know what to say or why she should agree to do whatever it was Yfel was going to ask of her. She resented the extent to which Yfel's meddling had driven her parents insane. For twenty years, Corene was a wreck, Jonathan was bitterly unhappy, and because of Yfel's toying. Why should Robin do anything Yfel wanted? And then Robin remembered: her wish. It suddenly occurred to her that she was bound by a magical contract: if she disobeyed Yfel, her parents would lose their new child.

Yfel waited, and Robin couldn't read her expression, half-hidden as it was behind her wings. Her eyes peeped over the feathers, slanted and bright as diamonds in the sun, until they glowed like beacons against the darkness.

Robin dropped her eyes. "Mogethis told me that Ayni is already moving against you."

"Beautiful Killer is correct," Yfel answered. "Ayni seeks to take Hildrith'el's place in Skkye itself. She means to use her children to do it. Which means she seeks the sword and the stone."

"The weapons of Hildrith'el's lost children."

"Lost to night," Yfel confirmed, and Robin could see her beak curl in a smile behind her wings. "Yes, child. Beautiful Killer has told you all I have instructed her to tell. She is a good servant. You must trust her."

Beautiful Killer? Robin wondered, but she didn't ask.

"I say again: the girl may rule all of existence, if she desires."

Robin stared dully at her feet. "I don't desire anything."

"That is not true. The girl made a wish. And it is granted."

"Then I desire everything and nothing," Robin parried.

Yfel laughed softly. "Child. The girl really is a daughter of madness, is she not? The girl thinks the glass half empty. But there is no glass at all."

Yfel slowly began to circle Robin.

Robin swallowed and looked again at her toes. She asked herself why she was fighting what was happening, and it suddenly occurred to her what Yfel was telling her: she had nothing_to lose. There had never _been a glass.

"I say again: the girl may rule all of existence, if she desires. Does she desire?"

Robin lifted her slanted silver eyes and stared coldly into the dark void. "I desire."

Behind Robin's shoulder, Yfel smiled.