Lasagna Thoughts v1 - Opinions About My Life And Its Direction
Lasagna Thoughts #1 - Opinions About My Life And Its DirectionSimply put, I feel like it's going nowhere in particular. There's just too much to think about and so little time to achieve it all. All this time I've been confident that one special person would come through and tell me everything is all right, you know? Having someone to tell me I'm doing great is something that really makes me happy, because even if it all looks grim they can come through and pull me out of that dark hole.What makes it worse is that I'm pretty much restricted to the internet for comfort. Callao has been considered a red zone for some time now, and almost all the good friendly people live in other provinces like Huancayo or Cusco. If I ever meet someone here who lives in Peru, I can only pray they live close by, so that I don't have to buy bus tickets just to see them.Then come the days when I'm just feeling like complete garbage. I felt like killing myself and not making myself exist, but I'm too much of a coward to even harm a fly. Persoanlly, I'd rather suffer civil death: You live, but every aspect of your freedom gets taken away from you. You're locked in chains for an undefined amount of time and people will forget your name soon after. But you live.You might have heard this one a million times before, but it gets better...? Ha, ha. I beg to differ. Sometimes it feels like everything turns against you and makes it completely worse. You're lost and confused on what to do, and you see no other option. I've gotten close to this. But let's not touch that subject.Perhaps this may be my sleepiness speaking, but I don't think the world can change, even if I've told myself and am very confident that people could change for the better someday. There's just too much violence on television and wrong victims being shown that it's a bit disturbing to look at such "justice". Don't tell Fox News I said that.Even so, though... There's a lot that I could see, and my curiosity -- thankfully -- impedes me from thinking about death and its meaning. Maybe that's the only reason I'm here. Driven by curiosity to find out the biggest and most mysterious puzzles and riddles. And I'm yet to solve the biggest one yet: My existence.Maybe all of this doesn't makes sense. But then again, it IS as sloppy as a lasagna, no?