FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Author's Note: My friend Chaos wrote this chapter not me, so all credit goes to them.

"Love you too." Pushing something resembling affection and emotion behind the words by force I throw them over my shoulder without too much of a glance. Walking out of the house was an adventure in itself forget what comes after. 'Father' wasn't having a good morning, or his night didn't go well. Honestly I couldn't care less, I killed the little worry I had for my younger brother with the words "He's fine, he has to learn like I did." Under my breath because not thinking out loud wasn't something I'll ever be able to master completely.

The day ahead I knew would be trying but as long as it lasted as long as possible I didn't care, anything to keep me away from the war zone that is any and every interaction with my family. Family... I hated using that word for them, despite what most think you really can pick your family. I quickened my pace excited at the next thought that popped into my mind. Cyrus.

Cyrus is my boyfriend, and only true family really. Soon to be spouse if I can get the cocky bastard to propose. A giggle escapes from my lips and I play with the silent silver bell on the black choker around my neck.

Besides Cyrus, I had Alley, a silvery blonde cat fur with eyes like ice. Her mood changed about as often as the color of the dyed streaks in her fur. She was like my sister, after seven years she's still around and one of my best friends. Then there's Ace, cuddle buddy for life he's asexual and a total dork. Long dark brown hair and glasses, his wardrobe consists of khakis and t-shirts. But he can break hearts in a suit and pony tail, so he's not to be underestimated.

Pushing headphones on I crank my music loud, I need to get lost in something. Regulate my emotions somehow after getting slammed with Dads anger. Being an empath can really be shitty, knowing when your father's lying when he makes a promise isn't too much fun either. Blasting EDM song after Metal after Pop, sifting through genre after genre I settle on something with some meaning and a fast pace.

God did I hate my abilities, and it's sad because I know I wouldn't be able to live without them but ignoring them is nice sometimes. Good for me? Oh look! Something other than my lack of care for my health!

Hearing laughter around the corner to my left as I get to the school I pull my hoodie up over my black cat ears and my matching tail snakes under my shirt that's low enough to cover any sign of it coming from my skirt and wraps around my waist. I push on a pair of sunglasses and keep my head down. If everything goes well, no one will know at this school.

My parents finally let me transfer to Cyrus's school, I wanted to be with him and the bullying at my school was starting to get bullies sent to the hospital. My parents and the administration both agreed that I deserved a change of scenery to say the least. Now let's just hope the teachers at this place will actually fall for the cough and rare eye condition explanation that comes with the shades. God why couldn't I just have been born normal. Being unique was getting tiring.

Brushing my obnoxiously radioactive copper red hair out of my line of vision and failing, when it's past your waist and this wavy it has a mind of its own, I pull the map Cyrus drew for me of the school. I could feel my eyes shift to a pink color while I looked for the classroom he marked with a heart. Our little rendezvous before our first class, I got in and around the crowd rushing outside suddenly. I heard a couple kids yelling about something on the roof, probably a prank but I'm ignoring my gifts until after me and Cy have some fun so who knows what's on the roof.

I duck into the bathrooms to avoid the very angry looking teachers pushing students outside, I hide in a stall while I wait for the noise in the hall dies. Opening the stall and walking out I get a look at myself in the full length mirror on the wall to my right.

"I need new sunglasses, I look stupid." A pale girl with wavy fiery red hair past her ass in black thigh highs and a matching skirt that didn't make her parents too happy, hiding underneath a baggy hoodie and sunglasses stared back.

Walking up to the mirror and pulling the sunglasses down, pale yellow eyes peer over them. Shifting to a blood red as the words "But fuck taking them off." Echo throughout the very questionably acoustic bathroom. "I don't need another teacher complaining and ordering yet another exorcism or exam." With a sigh I head for the classroom and the one person who could make me smile right now.

Three flights of stairs loom down at me in the stairwell with an eerie silence. That's when it hit me, did everyone clear the school? Sniffing the air I didn't smell smoke or fumes of any kind, so I brushed it off and started climbing.

To be honest? I'm not one to share as much as others think I do. Sure I'm an open book and I never lie about anything regarding myself or promises to others. But you don't have to lie or bluff someone to hide or twist things in your favor... for the most part it's for their safety. The other part, is for mine.

See ever since I was little I could tell when someone was lying or not, as a seven year old when you see your best friend lie to your face your first thought it "Maybe she didn't mean it, or she's saying that because she has a surprise and is trying to hide stuff?" You start coming up with excuses for people you care about when you know they're lying to you. You start to think a certain way and protect yourself in ways others don't.

You learn to get control of your emotions so when someone asks you how you feel you can just switch the pain off for a few minutes and focus in on contentment that way "I'm feeling good." Isn't a lie. On the other hand though you get good at lying, knowing exactly when someone's lying and if the people around them bought it or not, well it teaches you quite a bit on how to do it yourself.

I hate lying, so I use loop holes. I know my way around words, kind of like how genies 'trick' people through their wishes. The actual trick is to make it so they don't know you're doing it, they don't realize they didn't get their way until you want them too. A lot of people would call this manipulation, I like to call it defense.

I've got a few other tricks up my sleeve but I never tell all, you have to stick around and get to know me if you really want to know my secrets. I'm not a diary kind of chick, I don't confess everything in my heart when I cry. I only write and confess what needs to be said in that moment and what I would need in the next instance. Everything is calculated, there's no room for error so you have to get it right the first time or make sure you can think on your feet in order to save it if things go wrong.

When you live in an emotional war zone, you get good at mind games. And walking on egg shells.

I try to reflect little pieces of me in everything I do, but there are rare moments when what you get is actually something that can help you look deeper into who I am. Not often though.

When everything is lost under layer after layer it gets pretty confusing, but there's one person that can make all that confusion lessen for a while. Almost disappear. I run the last hallway to the classroom by the stairs to the roof, and open the door. I breathe a sigh of relief and happiness as soon as I see him and run straight into his arms after I close the door behind me. I think I locked it but I'm not sure, doesn't matter I'm pretty sure I locked it.