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The shriek of the referee's whistle pierced Ash's eardrums, forcing him to turn his head away from the stands. A sea of uniforms, some gold and some teal, separated him from the cheetah preparing to take the corner kick. He didn't have to look at the scoreboard to know that the game was tied at three and that this last play would determine whether the game – and the season – would go to penalty shoot-outs or end in crushing defeat. As the goalkeeper, he was the last line of defense against the opposing midfielder. And Theo Campbell was very, very good.

The elk bit down on his lower lip, hard. He took a deep breath. 'Focus, Ash.'

When Ash looked back at the cheetah, he was already mid-charge. His eyes could track every flex of Theo's bare calf muscles, small clods of dirt getting torn from the turf by his non-retractable claws with each pounding step. Like the coiling of a spring, he brought his left leg back, then released all the stored energy in one swift stroke. The thunk of his footpaw colliding with the grass-streaked ball reverberated between his ears.

He knew from the contact alone that it was a perfect shot. A one-in-a-hundred shot for the average player, but for Theo, it was maybe one-in-five. His eyes followed the ball's smooth arc as it hurtled in his direction, its horizontal spin guiding it towards the far upper corner of the goal. The goal he had to protect.

The players in front of him moved in unison – his teammates, to try to block the shot; his opponents, to try to get a header in. Ash could see the rest of the ball's trajectory in his mind's eye. Even with fresh legs, no one else would have had a chance at it, and everyone was beyond exhausted after running around in 85-degree weather for an hour and a half. A few players expended their last dregs of energy in desperate jumps for it, but none came even within a foot of the ball.

This was a battle between himself and Theo alone. And he could still win it. The ball wouldn't be out of his range when it reached him.

As slowed down as time felt for Ash, though, his body couldn't keep up. His feet were stuck in mud, his body swimming through molasses. As surely as he knew exactly where his hand needed to be to make contact with the ball, he also knew that he was a half second too late. It grazed his outstretched fingertips, cruelly teasing him before hitting the net behind him with a swish that made his heart sink.

The sound of the final whistle was met with whooping and cheering from the opposing team's bleachers. Theo flashed him a smug smile before disappearing from view as a bunch of gold uniforms mobbed him to celebrate his game-winning kick. Ash supposed he deserved that – all else aside, it had been a stellar goal.

He glanced around at his teammates, each one panting and bent over in exhaustion, before looking to their own stands once again. He searched for one particular long, dejected face among the crowd of long, dejected faces, the face whose absence had been distracting him from the time the game started through its disappointing conclusion.

But he still couldn't find him. He wasn't there. Levi hadn't come.

The elk remained transfixed on the emptying bleachers until someone suddenly clapped him on the back, nearly sending him tumbling. Whipping his head around, Ash glared at the person responsible – their own midfielder, Clive. “What the hell, man?"

Raising his paws in contrition, the maned wolf replied, “Sorry, dude, didn't mean to startle you."

Ash sighed. The sight of that puppy-dog face – ears tipped back, eyes wide, lips turned downward – made it impossible to get mad at him. Besides, it wasn't Clive who had him upset. Patting him on the shoulder reassuringly, he said, “Nah, it's my bad. Don't worry about it. Just… pissed off about the game is all."

“Yeah, tough break there. Sometimes you just gotta tip your cap. Theo's a massive prick, but that was a nasty shot." The maned wolf shrugged. “Still a great season for us."

Resisting the urge to glance at the stands again, he nodded. “I guess."

“C'mon, let's get out of here. You wanna come by my place after we hit the showers? Could use a beer after this."

Ash considered it for a moment. Right now, the only thing he wanted to do was to grab his phone from his locker and check to see if Levi had left him a message. But, with his friend continuing to give him that damned pleading look, he let out a deep exhale and said, “All right."

Orange tail twitching excitedly, he began to half-trot in the direction of the locker room, forcing Ash to break out into a jog. The elk wasn't slow by any means, but keeping pace with Clive's loping gait was a challenge for anyone, a fact he was reminded of frustratingly often. He passed clusters of other players – Theo shaking paws with their team's striker, their defenders huddling around each other with long looks on their faces – but he had no interest in interacting with any of them.

Finally pulling up alongside the maned wolf, he tried forcing a conversation about something other than Levi. “You played a great game, Clive. A goal and an assist? You'd have gotten the game ball if we'd pulled it out in the end."

“Thanks, man. Was in the zone today." He paused, then glanced down at Ash. “… You know, I was a little surprised. You haven't given up more than two goals any game this season. Corning really musta been that good if they could get four past you."

Clive was too nice to come out and say that he played like shit, but he wasn't going to let himself off the hook so easily. “Eh, three of those were savable, including that last one. No, this one's entirely on me. There's no excuse for losing a game where your team scores three points." He hung his head in shame. “I'm sorry, man."

Clive reached over to ruffle the fur between his sanded-down antlers. “S'fine. We wouldn'ta made the playoffs without you. Everybody has an off game. You OK, though? You seem… distracted."

When Ash didn't reply after a few moments, he snapped his fingers in his face. “'Ey!"

“Hm?" The elk had been too busy formulating in his head what he'd tell Levi when they next spoke to catch the question.

“Shit, dude, what's going on with you?" Now a few feet in front of the double doors to the school gymnasium, the Clive stopped in his tracks and put his paw on Ash's shoulder. “… It's your boyfriend, isn't it?"

“What?!" He whipped his head up, ready to deny it – but the look in Clive's eyes was too insistent to ignore. Tipping his head back down, he replied dejectedly, “Yeah. He didn't come to watch me – us – play."

The maned wolf let out a snort. “What a dick."

“Hey! Lev's not a dick. He's been at every single home game. He said he'd be here today, too." He started to stammer. “I'm… I'm sure there's a good reason."

Frowning, Clive patted his shoulder, then turned to push the door open, seemingly out of things to say. 'Or out of things he wanted to say,' Ash thought with irritation. He gritted his teeth before the entrance, taking a moment to calm himself before following in after the maned wolf as he padded down the hallway.

Clive had never approved of him and Levi, for reasons he couldn't understand and weren't ever fully explained to him. Sure, things had been a little strained lately – that, more than anything else, was what had Ash so concerned – but it was just an ordinary blip. Probably.

'He's just jealous that you've kept your first relationship going longer than any of the dozen or so he's been in these past couple of years.'

Ash winced, shaking the thought out of his head. Before he let himself further slip down the depression spiral – and to end the agony of not knowing what his phone history had in store for him – he quickly headed inside to meet Clive at the showers.

The blast of air conditioning made him shudder at first, but it was a welcome shift from the humid weather outside. He fast-walked down the narrow hallway, passing by offices and tall, glass-walled cases of trophies, plaques, and medals dating back to the school's founding many decades ago. Tennis, football, baseball… soccer.

It took all he had to keep his eyes forward and his feet shuffling towards the locker rooms past it. How often had he stood staring in front of its nearly bare shelves this year, silently vowing that this would be the year they'd finally bring home a championship? Hell, Avondale hadn't been within spitting distance of the playoffs in almost two decades. The program was something of a laughingstock compared with the ever-competitive Corning and the other schools in their division until they'd recruited Clive, himself, and a couple of other promising high school seniors from out of state. Now a junior, he would only have one chance left – and so much could go wrong from now until next year that might knock them out of contention no matter how talented their roster was or how hard they worked.

In its century-long history, Avondale had never won a soccer title. This could have been the year. This should have been the year. And Ash had let this opportunity slip through his fingers – let his teammates, coaches, and fans down – because… he was worried about his relationship?

Ash gritted his teeth and squinted his eyes to hold back tears. He'd be angrier at Levi if he wasn't so furious with himself.

A familiar mix of male musk and chlorine hit his nostrils as he pushed the heavy doors to the changing room open, revealing alternating lines of floor-to-ceiling lockers and long, wooden benches. He could hear the patter of the shower from the far corner of the room – likely a few of his teammates freshening up. Perhaps Clive as well, if he hadn't waited for him to hop in. He preferred it that way – it would give him the opportunity to check his phone without the maned wolf standing over his shoulder.

His thoughts a swirling maelstrom, he merely grunted as their star forward, Matt, tried to give him a friendly greeting. He only felt a slight pang of guilt as he caught the rabbit's long ears droop out of the corner of his eyes – though he made a note to apologize later. Right now, there was only one thing on his mind.

The entire row was blissfully empty as he dashed over to his locker. He muttered a few curses under his breath as he fumbled with the combination, then threw the door open with a clatter and grabbed the black brick sitting atop his pile of street clothes. This was it. Fingers trembling, he turned his phone on and waited with bated breath.

The screen flickered to life. There were five notifications. His heart raced as he tapped each one. Three texts expressing condolences from his two younger brothers and his friend Connie – 'Even she'd managed to show up to the game,' he noted bitterly – and calls from each of his parents.

What? He double-, triple-, and quadruple-checked, but there was nothing from his boyfriend – not a call, not a text. Even his email inbox was empty, not that he really expected Levi to try to get a hold of him that way.

Ash could only come up with two possibilities. One, that something urgent had come up on his end – but then, wouldn't Levi have reached out to let him know? Maybe not if it was really serious and he didn't want to distract him. Yes, that was possible. The other was that the normally thoughtful ram had simply forgotten that the biggest game of his life had been this afternoon.

Ash pulled up his text history with Levi and started to type one out, but after a few failed attempts to come up with the right words, he deleted the draft and decided to call instead. This wasn't a text message conversation, anyway. Checking his call history, he saw that Levi's number was third from the top – the first if he didn't count the two from his parents right after the game. He tapped the number and held the receiver to his ear.

With the backdrop of the phone ringing, he considered that last conversation – had there been something off? No, he'd seemed like his usual, chipper self then. Besides, it had just been a quick chat to confirm when they were meeting up for dinner in the dining hall yesterday. And when they had met up, things were maybe the slightest bit tense? But no tenser than usual. Levi's courseload had been particularly brutal this semester, so he'd simply chalked it up to the strain of trying to keep up his near-perfect GPA, but now… now he wasn't so sure.

On the fifth ring, the line clicked and the lyrical tenor he'd loved from the first time they'd met sounded in his ear. “Hey hon, what's up?"

Ash felt his heart swell. Whatever the reason Levi hadn't made the game, hearing his voice did wonders to calm him down. But he found himself at a loss for words – now that he actually had him on the phone, what was he supposed to say?

“… Ash? You there?"

“Yeah! Yeah, sorry, I'm here, Lev." Rubbing the back of his head, he continued, “Is… everything all right?"

“Of course, hon. Just taking the day to decompress a little bit after the biochem exam yesterday. Feeling a little antsy now after doing a whole lot of nothing, though. You wanna catch an early dinner and then head over to Bailey's place? It's their weekly movie night. Unsure what they're gonna watch, but they keep begging me and it's been forever since we went to one."

Ash clenched the fist that wasn't holding his phone. Normal, breezy. No reference to the fact that he'd been lounging around in his dorm when he'd promised to come to the game. Levi really had just forgotten.

Keeping his tone as measured as possible, he said, “… You know our match with Corning was today, right?"

“… What?" A long pause. “Oh my God, babe, I'm so sorry. Did you win?"

“Nope. The season's over."

“Ugh. Was it close, at least?"

“Four three. Came down to the last few seconds. Theo got a corner kick past me."

He heard his boyfriend click his tongue. “Theo, Theo… Oh, he was that player that was featured in that sports magazine, right? I remember you being worried about him." Another pause. “There's no shame in losing to a good team, hon. There's always next year."

“'There's always next year?!'" Ash couldn't take it anymore. This sickly sweet, surfacy conversation was turning his stomach and making his body run hot – did he really not understand just how important this game was? “Who knows if we even make the playoffs next year? This could have been our one shot, and we blew it… I blew it." His voice cracked as the air got sucked out of him. “… I needed you there, Lev."

“Ash… I'm sorry. I was exhausted after a week of cramming and exams. You know I wanted to be there. I haven't missed any of your other games this year."

Something about that last sentence tripped a wire in his mind. It came across as subtly passive-aggressive. As though Lev's absence were somehow his fault. Grinding his teeth and lowering his voice – he suddenly remembered that he was in a place where he could be easily overheard by any of his teammates – he hissed, “Yeah, well, you sure did pick the right one to skip, babe."

“How many times do you need me to apologize, Ash? I'm really sorry, OK?" When the elk didn't respond immediately, he added, “… Look, why don't we grab some food and you can tell me all about it. Then we'll go get drunk or stoned or both at Bailey's. Something to take your mind off of all of this."

That honestly didn't sound too bad of an idea, but then again, Clive had already invited him over for beers, and if he knew the maned wolf, at least half the team would be there. Getting a chance to clear the air after losing the game for them all, reset back to baseline – he kind of needed that.

But he also needed Levi now. So badly. As irritated as he was about him not showing up today, the longing to pull the ram into his chest and hold his warm, fluffy body to his was far stronger.

Letting out a heavy sigh and forcing himself to sit down on the bench behind him, he said, “Actually, Clive wanted to me to come to his place to chill. I'm sure it's no big deal if we show up late, though – we could meet at Lenon Hall for dinner like you said, then we could head over there together, if that's all right with you?"

For several seconds, all he could hear was faint static on the other end of the line. It stretched on so long that Ash worried that the call had dropped. Just as he was about to ask if Levi was still there, though, his boyfriend replied flatly, “… No."

“No?" All he could do was repeat the question, baffled.

“No, Ash. I am not going over to Clive's to 'bro-out' with all of your macho teammates again. Bailey is one of my oldest friends and I'm tired of blowing them off. As much as I'd like to finally get some time with you, if you'd rather hang out with your soccer pals, I'm not coming."

“… Huh?" Again all he could come up with was a confused, monosyllabic response. Levi had never raised any of this with him before. “You… don't like hanging out with the team?"

“How have you not seen it? More than us having absolutely nothing in common to talk about, I make them uncomfortable. They avoid eye contact. Try to pretend like I'm not there. Except for the moments here and there when I can peel you away from them, it's miserable for me." His voice dropped. “They don't like that I'm gay."

A growl caught in Ash's throat, but he buried it back down. “They're not homophobic, Lev. They've never said anything or treated me any differently."

“One, just because they're not saying it to your face doesn't mean they're not talking about you behind your back," the ram replied matter-of-factly. “Two, you're a fantastic goalie. You've dedicated every bit of free time you have outside of maintaining your grades to the team. You're 'one of the guys', as far as soccer is concerned. I'm… nothing to them. Just another disgusting queer to be mocked or ignored."

Again Ash held his tongue, biting back the urge to defend his teammates again. It was so sudden – he didn't have the mental bandwidth to consider whether or not his boyfriend was right about them. Instead, he pivoted, “Well, why the hell didn't you say anything before, then? Do you think I wanted to put you in a position where you felt that upset over and over again?"

“I'm telling you now, aren't I?" Levi snapped back – then in a calmer tone of voice, he said, “You're right, I should have said something."

Sighing heavily, all he could say was, “I'm sorry, Lev."

“… I know you are, hon," the ram said after a few moments. “I know you just didn't see it. But, trust me – as someone who's been spat on and beaten up by jocks just like them ever since I came out in high school, that's what this is."

That, Ash felt, was absolutely too far, but he set it aside for a third time. Whether or not Clive and the others were actually the queer-bashing homophobes that Levi was accusing them of being, the fact that he'd unwittingly forced his boyfriend to set aside his discomfort and go to these meetups for him was the more important issue. Levi could have said something sooner, sure, but he also probably should have noticed.

Desperate to change the topic, the elk decided to pull on another thread that his boyfriend had dangled before him. “I'm sorry that we haven't spent as much time together lately, too… Between the practices and classes and homework I've been completely swamped."

“I know, it's fine," Levi replied shortly – with a touch of irritation too, Ash thought. “But we're both a final away from the start of winter break. Then you'll visit me and my parents for the holidays. I can't tell you how excited they are to finally meet you."

“… What?" Ash knew it was the wrong thing to say, but he couldn't stop the question from tumbling out of his mouth.

“You don't remember?" His boyfriend clicked his tongue again. “We've been talking about this for months. I'm leaving for home next weekend, and then you were going to fly in a few days before Christmas. Wait… you did book the flight, right?"

Ash's heart sank. That conversation – conversations, really – was slowly coming back to him. He kept silent, though, because he couldn't find it in himself to admit that he hadn't bought a ticket.

“God damnit, Ash!" Levi snapped, his voice crackling over the phone. “I ask you to do to one thing, and you can't even pull your head out of your ass long enough to manage that."

“I'm sorry, Lev," he replied softly. “I've just been—"

“I know, I know, you've had to be one-hundred-percent focused on soccer. You've made that quite clear," the ram snorted.

“I can't exactly slack off. I have a real shot at going pro… I thought you understood that."

Levi let out an exasperated sigh on the other end of the line. “I do understand that. But, fuck, people in a relationship find ways to make room for their partners… if they really want to. I'm having a hard time seeing where I fit in your life."

“H-hold on… " A creeping dread from the direction this conversation was veering off in began to set in, making Ash's fingers feel cold and clammy as his blood turned to ice in his veins. Yes, he should have bought the tickets – that was incredibly stupid – but Levi had to know that it was just an honest screw-up, right? “I… do care, babe. It's just been rough lately."

“It's been 'rough' ever since the summer when practices started up in earnest. When we got together at the beginning of last year, soccer season was over, you weren't training for hours every day, and things were great. Really great." He thought he heard the sound of Levi choking back a sob, but it was too soft and fleeting for him to be sure. “But then soccer took over your life and I've barely been an afterthought. I can't remember the last time we just took a day for ourselves. Hell, when did we last have sex, even?"

Ash was about to interject, to assure Levi that he loved him so much, that he wanted him by his side every step of his journey, that he would have made love to him every night if not for how spent he was day after day, but the ram cut him off before he could open his mouth to speak. “And I really do get it, OK? I want you to succeed. Even though sports have never been my thing, I've loved watching you play and cheering you on. It's inspiring how driven you are – I could never devote myself to anything the way you're committed to soccer. You're amazing. But… "

Levi broke up – if there was any question that he'd been crying before, he definitely was now. Ash felt tears of his own starting to tug at the corners of his eyes. “… But, I don't think I'll ever be more than that person who sits on the sidelines and supports you. Honestly, you being upset that I missed your game is the first time in weeks where I've felt like I've mattered to you at all."

“H-how can you even say that?" he stammered. His thoughts were turning to mud. This couldn't be happening right now. “You know that's not true. I love you, Lev. I had no idea you've been hurting this much all this time. You should have said something."

“I don't feel I should have to tell you!" the ram exclaimed. “Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. It's just, I need someone who's going to look out for me every once in a while. Someone who'll knock on my door the morning after a rough exam and bring me my favorite coffee, or… agree to hang out at my friend's place when I ask him to without coming up with some excuse or counteroffer. I love you too, Ash, but I'm exhausted."

“I… Look, the season's over now. I'll have the time – we can go back to the way things were."

“I don't think I can do that, Ash." Levi's voice had a slight quaver. “I can't pretend like these last few months didn't happen. I can't shake the feeling that this is just going to happen again next year… that when you're going to be forced to choose between me and soccer, you're not going to choose me."

“I don't want to choose, Lev!" he exclaimed. “I want both. I want to play soccer and I want to be with you."

“Well, if you did have to choose, which is it?"

It took him forever to respond. He could barely process the question. “That… that's not fair, Lev."

There was a painfully long pause on the other end of the line until the ram replied, and when he did, it was so soft that Ash had to strain his ear to hear him. “… That's all I needed to know."

He knew what was coming next. He had to say something, anything. He had to stop this. “W-wait, babe, please… "

“It's over, Ash. I'm sorry." And with that, the line clicked dead.

For a few minutes the elk sat slumped on the bench, his jersey sitting uncomfortably against his fur now that the sweat had dried and left it feeling cold and stiff. The room was silent save for the low hum of the ventilation pumping in stale air conditioning. Whoever had been in the shower had finished up while he was on the call, and he couldn't hear the sounds of deodorant cans spraying or lockers clanging or idle chattering between any other players. He was alone.

Vaguely remembering that he was supposed to catch up with Clive, Ash checked his phone. He'd left him a text, but the elk couldn't read the words through the tears that were streaming down his cheeks. He let the phone slip through his fingers, barely registering the clatter as it hit the ground. Instead, he merely buried his face in his hands and quietly began to sob.

* * *

The next few hours passed by slowly but hazily – Ash felt a strange 'out-of-timeness' when he wasn't actively checking his phone, the world around him drifting in and out of focus as despair gave way to numbness.

After taking a three-minute shower and texting Clive back that he wasn't up to hanging out after all – the maned wolf had quickly shot back, “alright man lmk if u change ur mind", which he hadn't bothered responding to – he took the long walk across campus back to his dorm, his T-shirt sticking to him in the damp heat even as the sun was preparing to dip below the horizon. By the time he'd gotten back and crashed into his bed, he was a panting, dripping mess, his body aching from the exertion almost as much as his heart ached for Levi.

The whole trip back, he'd considered turning around and heading down to Collegetown where Clive lived with two other students their year – not sports guys, but pretty chill all the same. Ash was sure that he would have laughed the news the breakup off, and then they'd have played video games and gotten drunk off their asses until well past midnight. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night, breakup or no breakup.

But, he was sure that Clive would also take many, many jabs at Levi. His… ex. The thought made him sick to his stomach, with the ram's words from earlier still ringing in his ears. He questioned every past insult and dig – even though they hadn't been overtly homophobic, he wasn't sure now that they were so innocent. Or maybe they actually had been overtly homophobic, and he'd been too stupid to see it.

If that was the case, what did that say about what they thought of him? What were they saying behind his back? Were they even his friends?

… Could he find it in himself to keep playing with them next year?

Then there was the fact that somehow Ash had managed to screw up a ten-month-long relationship and hurt one of the people he cared most about in the entire world. Up until today, he'd thought things were going fine… but then again, had he really? Levi may not have said anything directly – and he was still a little angry that he hadn't – but the more he reflected on it, the more he could see the signs. A coolness to his normally warm boyfriend's demeanor that he'd wrongly chalked up to the stress of being in an intense pre-med program.

In his heart of hearts, as suddenly and precipitously it had come about, Ash knew that the relationship was over. And that was killing him inside.

Ultimately the elk found himself in between fitful naps for the rest of the afternoon, utterly exhausted both physically and emotionally, and questioning his life up until this point and beyond. His roommate was out and about – 'Probably seeing his girlfriend,' he thought darkly – and he couldn't think of anyone else to text and meet up with. Occasionally his phone buzzed from across the room, but he couldn't be bothered to get up and check it. His parents, likely. He didn't want to talk to them either. Sympathy would only make him feel worse.

The minutes ticked on. The bright sunlight streaming through his window gradually gave way to the orange glow of sunset and then the faint twinkling stars on this moonless night. His stomach growled for food, but even the box of energy bars on his desk felt miles away, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to keep anything down anyway.

Ash's body was starting to refuse to cooperate, though – the spaces between naps grew longer as the naps themselves grew shorter. The silence and darkness made the room feel oppressively small, as though at any moment he might find himself without any room to get up. He had to get up. Even if he didn't want to eat now, staying in bed any longer would drive him insane.

What the elk wanted most was a drink. Maybe a bad idea, especially to do alone, especially to do when he was feeling this shitty, but he was at a total loss as to how else to keep the thoughts at bay.

That was the last thing he remembered clearly before arriving at the entrance to the local gay bar, “The Excalibur Lounge", nearly an hour later. Like most of the buildings in Collegetown, it had a run-down exterior, having gone through at least half a dozen owners and repurposed as many times in its decades-long history. With the light of the two large windows on either side of the door, he could clearly see patches of rain-discolored wood peeking through where the paint had flecked off. There was no signage, no indication that it was even a bar from the outside – but the pounding music blaring and the occasional glimpses of liquor-lined shelves as the dozens of people inside milled about assured him that this was the right place.

Hesitating only a moment, Ash placed his hand on the loose handle of the door and pushed it inward with a creak.

He'd only been here a few times before. None of them had been particularly fun – he wasn't the biggest fan of cramped, loud, and musky, which seemed to be the ambience here on the weekend. None of them, except for the first time. The time he'd met Levi.

He remembered how awkward he'd felt slinking up to the bar. How he couldn't find his voice to get his drink order heard over the throng. How out of place he felt, even among people who innately understood what it was like to have to put on the mask of being straight day after day while being keenly aware of how uncomfortably it fit.

Just as he'd been about to get up and leave, though, he'd been startled by a loud shout, which had immediately got the attention of the polar bear tending the bar. The one who'd shouted – a small, smartly dressed ram he hadn't even noticed sitting next to him – had then flashed him a charming smile and placed his order for a whiskey sour for him. That self-assured confidence had drawn him in as much as how attractive he'd been, but what'd kept him there until the bartender had grumpily shooed them out past closing time was just how easy it'd been to talk to him, about everything from school to family to politics.

When they'd finally parted, it'd been with a long kiss and a promise to meet up again soon.

He and Levi were so different, and yet there had been that spark, a spark he'd never felt before with anyone, guy or girl. A spark he might never feel again.

'God, what the hell am I even doing here?'

He couldn't really answer that question for himself, but before he knew it, he was wading through the sea of bodies as if on autopilot. Despite how crowded it was, there were surprisingly few people actually sitting down. It wasn't hard to find an unoccupied stool around the corner of the bar, where it was relatively less busy. Those who weren't dancing to the bass-heavy EDM blasting overhead were huddling around tall tables evenly spaced throughout the room. The mix of smells radiating off them and the deafening noise were oddly clarifying, the sensory overload drowning out everything except his thoughts.

Unfortunately, all of those thoughts were still about Levi.

He was three quarters of the way through his second scotch and starting up the thousandth replay of the conversation from the afternoon when he heard a smooth, husky voice in his ear. “What's your drink, handsome?"

Ash tipped his head to the side and met the glimmering eyes of the African painted dog who had slipped in next to him. Shrugging noncommittally, he replied, “Glenfiddich, neat, twist of orange."

“Scotch? Don't usually see that ordered by anyone under 40." The confident smirk on his face widened. “Kinda classy, though."

The dog turned his head in the direction of the bartender and shouted, “Oy, Jerry! Bring this guy another one. Actually, make it two." After a moment of thought, he added, “Please?"

The gruff-looking polar bear behind the counter – 'the same bartender as that night,' Ash noted glumly – glowered in his direction as he handed a fruity concoction to another bargoer, then turned to fetch two glasses and an amber-colored bottle. Sour expression fixed on his face, he poured the liquor out, threw the garnishes in, and lumbered over to them. Before Ash could even thank him, the dog piped up again, “Thanks Jer, you're a real pal. Put them on my tab, yeah?"

“You don'—" Ash started to say, but the polar bear interrupted him before he could get the words out.

“Kai, if yer damn tab gets any longer, I'm going to start docking it from yer pay. I'm not kidding this time."

The dog raised his paw to his mouth and let out a gasp. “Jerry! I'm appalled that you would think so little of me. No matter – by this time next week, I assure you that I'll have my account paid in full." He crossed his heart. “Scout's honor."

Jerry merely rolled his eyes as he slid a glass to each of them. “Yeah, that's what you said last month, and the month before that. Don't even know why I keep you around when you drink more liquor than you serve."

“Because I'm the best mixologist in town and you'd miss me terribly if I were gone."

“'Mixologist'? Please." He snorted, then turned to Ash. “Well, enjoy. If this one" – he gestured at Kai with his thumb – “starts getting on your nerves, just holler. Wouldn't be the first time I had to chase him away from other patrons. Ones who actually pay."

Kai frowned. “Come on, that was just the one time!" he retorted, but Jerry had already turned around to tend to the crowd forming at the other end of the bar.

Looking down at Ash, his lips upturned into a conspiratorial grin. “Actually, it was a few times. But still, relatively speaking, it almost never happens."

When the elk didn't immediately return his smile, his ears drooped slightly. “In all seriousness, though, if I'm bothering you and you don't want the company, I'll leave. You can have the drink on me as an apology."

He shook his head. “It's fine."

Those ears perked up again. “So… would you mind if I sat here?"

He downed the rest of his other scotch in one gulp, then gave the painted dog his first real appraisal. The colors of his tricolor coat, though muted in the dim, red-tinged light of the bar, were no less striking. The metal hoops of his earrings glinted with every flick of his rounded ears, which appeared to be unusually expressive, even for a canine. His eyes trailed downward – his tank top, just barely long enough to cover his midriff, bore the logo of a band he didn't recognize. It hugged the contours of his torso – slim but not rail-thin – just as his tight-fitting jeans accentuated the subtle curves of his hips.

“Like what you see?" Kai smirked and struck a pose.

Caught mid-sip of the third drink, the elk coughed and sputtered as it nearly went up and out of his nose. “S-sorry… didn't mean to stare."

“Don't worry about it." He leaned in and lowered his voice, teeth flashing as his smile grew larger. “I get that a lot. Anyway, I'm not put off or anything, buuut… " – he drawled out the last syllable – “you can make it up to me by letting me sit with you for a bit."

The playfully needy expression on his face ultimately won him over. Sighing, he replied, “Go ahead."

With a wag of his tail, Kai smoothly slid into the stool to his right and took a long draft of his own scotch, draining it nearly by half. Setting the glass down again, he asked, “So, what's your name?"

“Ash."

“Nice name. I'm Kai… but I suppose you knew that already." He nosed in the bartender's direction. “Jerry's the owner and a bit rough around the edges, but he's a good guy. I really do mean to pay off my debts to the place, by the way. Money's a bit tight between rent and tuition, but I'm not a moocher."

The elk nodded tentatively. These abrupt transitions between flirty and serious were making it hard for him to get a good read of the dog. “You work here part time? That must be tough with classes."

“Full time. Well, as many hours as I can get. You just happened to catch me on my night off. School's what I'm doing part time, actually – I go to the local community college across town." He shrugged. “I make it work. I get restless if I'm not busy with something, anyway."

Ash nodded again, then turned back to his drink and gave it a much smaller sip than Kai had. It seemed they were pretty similar in that way – just sitting through an entire movie in one sitting was usually a miserable experience. His body needed be up and moving, his mind engaged with something active.

“You play for the university?"

The question caught him off guard. “How'd you know?"

The dog pointed up towards the nubs of his antlers – he noticed for the first time that his fingers were white-furred like the splotches running up and down his arms. “Out of season for those to be so short. Not into sports myself, but, erm, been with enough athletes to know you have to sand those down for safety reasons."

That made sense. When he wasn't in front of a mirror and forced to confront the fact the he couldn't grow them out, he preferred to put it out of his mind. The policy sucked, even if he ultimately agreed with it. He hated how it made him look like a fawn year-round. “Yeah, I'm on the soccer team."

“Oh… I guess that explains the hard liquor. I heard it was a tough beat today."

Raising an eyebrow, Ash said, “You know an awful lot for someone who doesn't keep tabs on sports."

Laughing – melodious, genuine… free – he replied, “Not me – my roommate. He was all up in arms today about the loss. Apparently it was real close, but their goalie kept giving up goals as soon as they scored. Sucks that it can come down to one person letting the team down like that."

The elk merely slumped in his seat and took a swig of his drink – this one far longer.

“Ah… oh shit." Kai pieced it together in the awkward silence that followed. “I'm really sorry, Ash. If I had known—"

“It's all right." Waving his paw dismissively, he turned his head to give him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. The best one he could manage under the circumstances, anyway. “He's not wrong. I fucked it up for everyone. Might have been the worst I've played since I joined the team three years ago."

“Everyone has an off day. You can't expect to be perfect all—"

“Yeah, well I have to be!" he snarled, narrowing his eyes at Kai. Seeing the shocked expression he got in return, though, he lowered his ears and looked away in shame. “Sorry, didn't mean to snap like that. It's not your fault. It's just that I… couldn't focus, today."

“Mm… " The dog hummed thoughtfully, then said, “Do you wanna talk about it? I'm a real good listener."

Ash considered for a few moments. Did he want to talk about it? Things were so fresh, so painful… and yet, here was a (gorgeous) stranger he could pour his heart out to with no strings attached. There was nothing in Kai's face that told him that the offer was anything but sincere.

What the hell. Maybe it was the alcohol lowering his inhibitions, or maybe he really just needed a sympathetic ear, but he went into his relationship and breakup with Levi from start to finish in all its gory details. What he loved about the ram; what he'd come to realize in all his ruminating that he'd done wrong; how shitty a person he must be to cast someone so wonderful aside. That he'd never find as perfect a partner ever again.

By the time Ash was done dumping they were most of the way through another drink – he'd insisted on paying this time – and he was well and truly worn out. He'd managed to hold back tears, fortunately, but just barely.

True to his word, Kai had kept silent the whole time save for a question here and there, mostly nodding along. Honestly, it surprised Ash just how comfortable he was chatting with the dog – he was rarely this forthcoming with anyone. Kai just had this calm, unbothered demeanor – sensitive but not reactive, curious but patient.

When it was clear that the elk was finished, the dog finally said, “Yeah, sounds like you really should've been more attentive. Surprised he put up with you dragging him to all those jock parties. Yeesh."

Looking up from the swirls in the wood grain of the bar he'd been tracing out for the past few minutes, he muttered, “Wow, you really know how to make a guy feel better."

He shrugged. “I'm not much of a coddler. But, if it's any consolation, he sounds like a real shit communicator. I doubt it was going to work out long term for you guys anyway, so ripping the band-aid off now is as good a time as any."

“What makes you say that?"

“Eh, call it experience, call it intuition. I've seen a lot of relationships come and go. You both seem to want different things, and that was going to come crashing in sooner or later. Sure, you could have taken more time to be a part of his life, but you're still thinking you might want to work your way up through the pros after you graduate?" The elk nodded. “Yeah, so, that requires a ton of dedication and focus. Not that I would know, really, but it seems like the kinda thing that doesn't leave you much room for a relationship. There's no shame in that. Far from it, actually."

Ash let the words hang in the air for a couple of minutes. He didn't really know what to make of that. Kai might be right. Or, maybe Levi would have stuck around if he'd just put out a little more effort, if he'd just been a little more sensitive to the ram's needs. Not that it mattered now.

Looking to change the subject, he asked, “What about you? Anyone in your life?"

The dog's tone sharpened. “Do you really think I'd be hanging around here flirting with other guys if I wasn't single?"

“Ah… " He glanced away. “Sorry."

“Hah, you're good. I'm just giving you a hard time," he said, chuckling. “But no, I'm not seeing anyone. To be perfectly honest, it's hard for any guy to hold my interest for longer than a couple of hookups. It's kind of a 'me' problem. I think I'm just not built for relationships, even if they're open or poly. Or… maybe I just haven't met the right guy, yet."

One of the elk's ears quirked up. Something about the way he'd said that… it felt like a slight hint at an invitation. Not enough for him to follow up on without potentially winding up with egg on his face – and besides, sex didn't sound like the best idea right now, anyway. As Ash caught the subtle, single-fanged smirk on the dog's face, though, a little flutter in his chest made him realize that it didn't sound like the worst idea to him, either.

Whatever doubts he had about Kai's intentions then vanished with what he said next. “Look, do you wanna bounce? My place isn't too far from here, if you don't mind it being a little messy. We can continue this conversation somewhere… quieter." He gestured to the speakers overhead and the cacophony of dozens of shouting bargoers behind them.

He gave the dog a long, hard look and spat, “I don't need a pity fuck." The words came out a little too forcefully – as though he was saying them to himself as much as he was to Kai.

To his surprise, he merely laughed. “Everyone needs a good pity fuck every now and again."

The elk raised an eyebrow, but Kai continued, “I wouldn't offer just out of the kindness of my heart, though, vast as that may be. You seem like a nice guy, you're hot as hell, and you seem to be into me, if your gawking earlier was any indication."

“I… " He trailed off, trying to buy time as he struggled to find the words. Among other things, the compliment had him blushing and flustered.

“No pressure or anything, feel free to say no," the dog assured him. “Just thought you could use a bit of fun tonight, and" – he grinned – “I'm sure I'd have a lot of fun with you."

“I'm not fun, Kai."

That wasn't exactly what he'd meant to say – he'd wanted to tell him that he wasn't in the mood for 'fun' right now. But… it was the truth.

The dog reached over and put his paw on his wrist. The touch was warm. Its glow ran up the length of arm and into his chest. A spark that threatened to make a flame deep inside flicker to life. He quickly smothered it, but he felt his indecision mounting.

Kai leaned in closer. “When's the last time you actually had fun, Ash? Really let go?"

He opened his mouth to voice a smart reply that never came. As he flipped through scenes in his mind, going ever backwards in time, he was forced to reckon with the fact that he couldn't actually remember when he'd last thrown caution to the wind and allowed himself to taste freedom. Freedom from soccer. Freedom from school. Freedom from…

Tears suddenly began to stream down his face. “Levi… "

“Levi's gone, Ash. Whatever you might have done to make him leave you, your own happiness matters too." His eyes glimmered in the dim light. “I'm just throwing it out there. No promises, no strings, no hidden agendas, no regrets. No past, no future. Just you, and me, in the here and now. These moments only ever come around once."

Kai's paw traced up his forearm as he brushed cheeks with Ash and nuzzled him. More warmth. More glow. More flickering. He made to smother the spark again, to push the handsome painted dog away. People could be watching and his cheeks were wet. But this time something stayed his hand.

“Do you want to have sex with me?" Kai asked pointedly.

Ash hesitated, reflecting, but all roads led to the same answer. He did want this.

“… yeah."

The dog tipped his muzzle up to Ash's ear and breathed a sultry purr, “Then come on, let's get out of here."

The elk gave him a slight nod, then picked up his glass and swallowed down the remaining scotch all at once. He reached into his pocket to pull out a ten-dollar bill and slipped it beneath the glass – not that he wouldn't have tipped anyway, but he still felt a little concerned about Kai paying Jerry back for his drink.

As they got up from their stools in unison and started to make their way to the door, he caught a glimpse of the polar bear out of the corner of his eye. He picked up the note between two fingers, examining it almost curiously, then glanced in Ash's direction. Their eyes met. The look on his face was hard to read – disapproval? sympathy? amusement? – but he went back to clearing off their glasses before the elk had the time to really decipher it. He let himself get tugged away, Kai's grip on his wrist remaining tight as they made their way towards the exit.

They wove through the crowd as best as they could, occasionally bumping shoulders with other bargoers, not that any of them seemed to notice. When they finally burst through the door into the warm, clear night, he took a few gasping breaths. The humidity from earlier in the day hadn't subsided – it was like breathing through a wet blanket – but it was a godsend compared to the oven behind him. He hadn't realized just how constricted his lungs had been from the heat and musk radiating off of dozens of sweating bodies in the cramped space of the bar.

“It's just a few blocks this way," Kai said after they both had a chance to recover. They turned right, in the opposite direction of campus, and hurried down the street, guided only by the light of the stars above and pale yellow squares cast on the pavement by second- and third-story windows of the buildings beside them.

Ash felt lightheaded, but his thoughts remained unclouded and his footsteps sure. Some of it was the alcohol, but more than that, there was something he hadn't felt in a long time. He was excited. Not like the eagerness as he hyped himself up for a game, or the rush of adrenaline as he anticipated a sudden instep shot from the way an opposing player's leg wound up. Not even like the cheery warmth in his chest when he saw Levi waving at him from across the quad.

No, this was something deeper. Shapeless. Primal. The animal inside him had broken free of its cage, running rampant and kicking down every load-bearing pillar holding him together.

He was rock hard.

He kept pace with Kai as they continued straight. Their surroundings were indistinct, the sounds of the college-town muted, the air scentless. The only thing keeping him tethered to the ground was Kai continuing to hold his wrist.

“This is it." They came to a stop before a narrow, three-story building sandwiched within a line of narrow, three-story buildings that spanned the whole block. They hurried up the front steps, Kai swiftly punched in the passcode on the door handle, and it slid open with a buzz and a click. The dog wordlessly darted up the carpeted staircase before them – Ash needed to take them two at a time just to keep up.

The air grew hotter and thicker as they ascended to the third floor. Heart racing, he navigated tight corners behind Kai, nearly bumping his shoulders at every turn until they reached the door at the end of the hall. The dog smoothly slipped a brass key into the knob and pushed his way in. Ash followed.

A light switch flicked on as he went inside, bathing the apartment in a dingy, orange-tinted glow. The entrance, a short corridor no more than six feet wide, emptied into a small living area that looked cramped even though a two-seat couch, a coffee table, and a widescreen television were the only furnishings. Off to the left, the kitchen – to the right, a corridor that likely led to the bed and bathrooms. The open window on the far wall made the room cooler than the hallway behind him, but only slightly.

Kai stood at the threshold of the living room, then slowly turned around to face him. He took a few steps forward, but the dog didn't budge, merely gazing up at him with unblinking eyes. Now only a couple feet away in better-lit surroundings than the Lounge, he could see for the first time that they were bright amber, almost golden in color. They shimmered with desire in rolling waves that threatened to bowl him over, the undertow tugging him by the ankles into deeper and deeper water. He forced himself to look away before he slipped beneath the surface.

His scent reached his nostrils – something vaguely floral, maybe lilac, and tinged subtly with canine musk. He could almost taste it. The dog's shallow breath wafted over him as he panted through his nose, his slight chest heaving behind the folds of his shirt. His pounding heartbeat rang in Ash's ears, or maybe that was just his own.

Inside, the elk was a raging storm. His hands quivered at his sides and his fur stood on end as crackles of desire ran up and down his spine. His jeans were almost painfully tight, bulging with an erection that he knew wouldn't go down until he took Kai. Rutted him. Claimed him.

When he met the dog's eyes once again, he felt something akin to resonance as their thoughts, perfectly in phase, crashed into each other. One moment passed, deathly still – and then in a flash they were on top of each other.

Ash pushed him against the wall with a thud, a low growl caught in his throat as he pressed his muzzle to the dog's and forced his tongue past his lips. Kai put up no resistance, his small body shuddering against his. He felt slim fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, then tugging it upward. The elk followed suit, breaking off the kiss to pull the tank top up and over Kai's head and toss it aside.

They drank each other in – Ash felt the painted dog's eyes tracing the contours of his bare torso as his own took in every last detail of Kai's. His chest was lean, his belly ever so slightly less so, with a hint of softness around his navel that tapered in a 'V' beneath the waist of his jeans. Patches of black, brown, and white fur wholly covered him in a complex, irregular pattern, as though a brush had blindly but purposefully dabbed the colors onto him in permanent ink. He wanted to spend hours dragging his hands – his tongue – along every jagged line.

His body was perfect. He was perfect.

“Fuck, you're gorgeous," Kai murmured, placing a paw on the elk's stomach and following the ridges of his muscles up between his pectorals. Then they trailed downwards until he slipped one of them beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs to feel up his throbbing cock. The pads on his fingertips, soft and smooth, slid from head to base and came to rest around his aching balls.

Ash bit his lip hard as his dick spasmed and released a burst of pre.

He felt the dog's thumb graze his leaking tip as he pulled his paw out. He raised it his lips and flashed him a suggestive smirk, then let his tongue snake out and lick it clean – tasting him. The glint in his eyes as he slurped his chops after sent a shiver down Ash's spine.

His grin widened. “Show me how much you want me."

Whatever stupor had taken hold of him from Kai's tease dissipated immediately. His hands found the button of the dog's jeans and unclasped it – Kai did the same to his. Sliding their pants and underwear off in unison – Kai was wearing a pinkish thong, which Ash found both perfectly fitting and hot – the elk grabbed around his bare ass, and the dog melted into him with a shudder and a moan. They resumed their kiss, their tongues dancing as they needily grinded against each other.

He knew he was going to fuck Kai. He needed to. But not here, not up against the wall. Without breaking their lip-lock, Ash gripped into his thighs and picked him up off the ground with a grunt. Cradling the dog's slim, nude body against his own, he smoothly turned around and began to carry him past the living room and down the hall. He felt a wet spot where Kai's tip was pressing into his belly – his lover was just as eager as he was.

The dog finally pulled away from the kiss to stop Ash before the last door on the right. “In… here… " he said haltingly, struggling to catch his breath, then reached behind him to turn the knob and crack it open. The elk used a foot to push it all the way before entering the pitch-black room. He waited for a few seconds as Kai fumbled for the light switch, trying his hardest to ignore the growing ache in his arms and the mounting impatience to pound that tight backside.

After mumbling a few curses under his breath, the dog finally found it and slid the dimmer to its lowest setting. He then gave Ash a small, encouraging lick to the side of muzzle. The slight gesture kindled the fire inside of him into a raging inferno. With newfound vigor, he strode over to Kai's unmade bed, paying just enough attention to his surroundings to avoid tripping on the various things strewn about the floor, then collapsed atop it with a creak of the mattress beneath them.

His body poised a few inches above Kai's, Ash moved in to kiss him once again, but he stopped as the dog pressed a finger to his lips.

“One sec, big boy. Let me grab something from the drawer over there," he said, tilting his muzzle in the direction of the nightstand beside them.

With some reluctance, Ash obeyed, giving the dog the space to roll over and rummage around for a couple of moments before pulling out a small bottle of lube. He breathed a sigh of relief – the thought hadn't even crossed his mind, though it really should have. He reached out for it, but Kai shook his head, smirking that smirk of his. “Please, allow me."

His member was already completely firm, so the crackle of anticipation those words sent through his body caused it to twitch and spurt out more pre onto Kai's belly. Clicking his tongue in amusement, the dog slipped back underneath him and reached down to grab his cock with slick paws. It took every ounce of restraint for Ash to keep himself from releasing everything right then and there – Kai's sensual touch as he slowly worked over his shaft was almost too much.

Kai picked up on his inner struggle just as he was about to give in – Ash noted that the dog seemed to be uncannily attuned to him – and released his hold over his member. He gave the elk a few moments to recover, then gave him a fleeting kiss on the lips.

“Ready?" he asked.

Ash's whole body was coiled like a spring, every muscle taut. His breathing was heavy and labored. His dick was beyond hard. The urge to mate was overwhelming.

Was he ready? Fuck yes.

Without a word, the elk nodded, then slid backward until Kai's rear was fully in view. Placing his paws underneath, he spread his plush cheeks until the pink ring of flesh came into view, flexing tantalizingly before him. He angled his way towards it and moved in closer and closer. First he felt his tip get enveloped in the dog's warmth, and then the sensation of his pucker tightening around him. His eyes squeezed shut as Kai let out a sharp gasp below him.

Before he could plunge himself in further, though, the sound of the dog's voice stopped him. “Ash?" He looked up and met Kai's golden eyes, flickering with desire.

“Don't hold back."

Ash smiled down at him and nodded slightly, then pushed forward and entered him. He was silky smooth, hot, and tight, the walls reflexively clenching around him as the elk penetrated deeper and deeper. Sighing deeply, he closed his eyes to listen to Kai's body. He let the dog's every writhe and shudder reverberate throughout him, paying careful attention to any signs of resistance – signs that he might be going too quickly. But all the elk could hear were his soft, raspy whines of pleasure.

With a firm buck of his hips, Ash slid all the way in. Kai cried out as clear fluid dribbled out of his own deep-red cock, his thick canine knot already bulging.

Ash needed no further invitation. He knew he was leaking already, that he could only hold out so long with how badly he needed this, but he was determined to show Kai the best time he could. He was determined to savor every last moment. He was determined… to have fun. So he began to slip his throbbing length in and out, in and out at a slow, steady clip.

Lowering himself on top of Kai, Ash allowed his arms to slip beneath the dog as he gradually fell into his natural rhythm. He felt the dog's lithe arms circle around his chest in turn and clutch him with surprising force. His claws raked through the elk's coarse fur and clenched into the dense muscles of his back – it hurt, but not in a bad way. All the while, the dog's maleness, sandwiched between their bellies, poked up into him as he rocked back and forth, occasionally leaving behind sticky trails of pre.

Kai's body gave a jolt every time the dog took him in to the hilt. Coaxing out these little reactions was making him go feral. He could tell it was bliss – he was hitting Kai's 'spot'. Before he knew it, the elk found himself pounding into him with all he had, his need to feel his lover's pleasure squirms only growing with each one he elicited.

All the while, his resolve to keep himself from climax threatened to give out at any moment. Kai was just too slick, too hot. And the dog was working him too – subtly grinding and bucking his hips in time with his thrusts. The way the dog's body was gripping around his whole length at once – it felt like he wanted to keep him from slipping out again. To hold him there and milk him for every last drop of seed he had in him. Ash tried to tell himself not yet, that release would feel that much sweeter if he could just hold on a little longer, but it felt like plugging up holes in a crumbling dam. With each leak he stemmed, two more sprung up elsewhere, the wall creaking and cracking under the pressure. He could feel it ready to burst.

Purely on instinct, the elk pressed his lips into Kai's and took a rough kiss with a low, possessive growl. The dog arched his back into it and parted his slim muzzle enough to let his tongue in – Ash plunged inside. Kai tasted amazing, the floral fragrance he'd been wearing undetectable beneath the haze of male sweat and musk radiating off of their bodies.

The sensory overload was making him teeter dangerously. His rhythm grew erratic and desperate. His cock was starting to twitch. His heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest. His resolve was slipping.

“Take me now." Kai broke off the kiss to let out a husky whisper, then licked him under his chin.

That was it. Letting out a primal yell, Ash shoved himself balls-deep into Kai one last time and let it all go. With the dog clenching around him, he felt his seed surge out of him in a series of spasms. Below him, he vaguely felt hot ropes of cum against his stomach and chest as the dog climaxed with a high-pitched cry.

They held each other for a moment that stretched on to eternity. Then Ash lost all the strength in his body at once and collapsed against the dog in a heap. Their chests heaved against against each other as they struggled to catch their breaths, the elk shuddering and groaning in post-coital ecstasy as Kai let out burbling, squeaky whines. It was unlike any sound Ash had heard before, and he figured it must be a species-specific noise. It was also fucking adorable.

He buried his snout in the ruff of the dog's neck and drank in his scent, then began to administer tender licks along the soft fur. Kai finally relaxed his grip into his shoulders, his paws gently rubbing up and down his back a few times before allowing them to slip off of him.

“Ngh… yes… that was it… " the dog mumbled when he finally composed himself enough to speak.

Drawing upon what little energy he had left, Ash pushed himself up so that he could look Kai in the eye. He gave him a weak smile and said, “You're amazing."

The dog grinned back, flashing pearly white teeth that glinted beneath the overhead lamp, then leaned up to give Ash another kiss. This time the elk let Kai's tongue in, and they shared in another sweet, sensual moment together. When their lips finally parted, trails of saliva still connecting their muzzles, he asked, “How are you doing?"

In swirling fog of afterglow, Ash couldn't help but let out a soft giggle. He was positively giddy. “I'm… great."

“Good." The dog reached up to stroke his cheek with the back of his paw. “But you're probably exhausted. I could feel your body – I could feel what that took out of you."

It was true. A part of him wished he could take a little while to recover and then take Kai again and again and again until the sun rose, but it was all he could do to simply stay conscious right now. Sighing regretfully, he gave him a slow nod.

Kai chuckled. “It's all right. I'm… " – he paused a moment, ears flushing as they tipped back against his head – “… a little spent myself." He gave Ash imploring look. “You'll stay with me, though?"

Even if Ash could have gotten up, it was the last thing he wanted to do. Grunting under his breath, he rolled over onto his side – his dick, now starting to soften, easily slid out – and tugged the dog against him. His hands idly roamed up and down his front, exploring the lines of his supple figure. The light was still on, but Ash couldn't care less and the dog made no effort to get up either. Kai pulled his comforter over them, then shuffled into his embrace. He let out a couple more of those cute 'chi' noises, and the elk smiled.

Ash breathed out, “Thank you," then slipped into a deep, dreamless slumber.

* * *

He first awoke to the warmth of sunlight gently caressing his face. Blinking his eyes open, he shifted in bed, which felt softer than usual, then tried to sit up. Immediately he was hit with a throbbing pain in his temples and was forced to sink back against the pillow.

Hangover. Damnit. Gritting his teeth and bracing himself for it this time, he slowly slumped forward and took in the unfamiliar surroundings. The room was larger, the window was in the wrong spot, and the T.V. was gone, replaced by a computer desk with a laptop sitting atop it. The wall to his left was covered from ceiling to floor with posters of anime characters and bands, all of them unfamiliar.

Wait – the logo on one of them jogged a vague memory. Concentrating, he slowly brought it to the fore, and then realization hit him all at once. Kai. This was Kai's room. They'd met last night at The Excalibur Lounge, they'd headed back to his place together, and then…

Oh.

The scene that followed, starting from the moment they'd entered the apartment, began to play out in his head in crystal-clear definition – he quickly found himself getting lost in it. His cock, which was already half-erect given that he'd just woken up, swelled up and protruded upward, making a dent in the blanket covering his lower half.

As much as he wanted to tend to it now, to relive every scintillating detail over and over again, his head began to pound again and he decided that he should get out of bed instead. He slid his legs over the side and started to get to his feet, but he stopped himself as his eyes alit on a bottle of pills and a glass of water on the nightstand. Ibuprofen. Kai must have left it out for him. His heart warmed a little – that was really thoughtful of him. He popped a couple of pills in his mouth and swallowed them down with a swig of water. Then, realizing just how thirsty he was – he noted, regretfully, that he was probably only feeling this terrible after just a few drinks because he was dehydrated – he drained the rest of the glass.

As he set it back down, he noticed an envelope with a bunch of writing scrawled on the front. Curious, he held it up and squinted through his bleary eyes to parse the messy handwriting:

“Ash,

_ _

Had to leave early for a morning shift at the Starbucks across town. Take the Advil if you're feeling hungover and remember to drink a lot. Anything on the top two shelves of the pantry and the left side of the fridge is fair game if you're hungry. There should be a box of protein bars somewhere in the bedroom too.

_ _

I'll be back by one and then I'm off for the rest of the day. Feel free to hang around the apartment until then, or not. Leaving my number below in case you have to bounce and want to get together again. Call or text whenever, or not. Either way, I'll remember last night for a long, long time.

_ _

You are fun.

_ _

– Kai"

At the bottom was a phone number with a local area code. Ash stared at it for a long moment, then reread the note a few more times. Then he started to imagine the dog in a shamrock-green apron, his whiskey-colored eyes twinkling at him from across the counter. He'd ask him for his order in that same sultry voice he'd used to invite him over last night, then tell him that if Ash wanted his latte with extra milk, he'd have to go to the back room to get some. He'd then give him a sly wink and turn around, revealing his tight, bare ass – the apron was all that he was wearing. They'd meet in a barely lit supply closet, out of earshot and hidden away from prying eyes. His own pants were gone, then he was pressing Kai up against the wall, lifting him up and spreading him out so that he could slide his glistening, throbbing—

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a muffled, buzzing sound coming from the floor below him – his phone, still in his pants pocket all the way in the living room. With a grunt, he pushed past his headache and made to get up, only then noticing that his hand was sticky. Somewhere along the way to the back room, he'd unknowingly started pumping up and down the stiff erection he was still sporting and apparently had dribbled a bit.

Shit. Wiping himself off on his bare thigh, he tumbled out of bed and scrambled to get to his phone before it went to voicemail. He fumbled with his jeans as it vibrated for the fourth, fifth, sixth times – finally, on the last possible ring, he got a hold of it and checked the name.

It was Levi.

A dizzying mix of thoughts and emotions suddenly hit him all at once. Foremost among them was a deep, sinking feeling of guilt – not just because he'd banged a stranger mere hours after he'd broken up with him, but because he realized that he hadn't thought of the ram a single time from the time they'd left the bar until now. Alongside that, a sharp pang of anxiety as he considered the possible reasons why Levi might be calling. Did he regret what happened yesterday? Did the ram… want to get back together with him?

By the time Ash had gathered himself, Levi had long since hung up, leaving no voicemail. With trembling hands, he navigated to his 'Recent Calls' – he had no idea what he was going to say, but he felt compelled to say something. Just as he was about to press the redial button, though, a text message flashed across the screen:

“Sorry maybe shouldn't have called but wanted to tell you that I feel bad about how I left things with you. You're a great guy Ash. I really do wish you the best and I'd like to stay friends if you want to."

His index finger hovered over his ex's name, a fraction of an inch away from calling him back. The words that had started to coalesce in his head vanished in an instant, leaving behind a fresh bout of guilt that cut right through him.

But, as Ash turned it over in his mind, remembering just how cathartic it had been, he realized that he didn't regret what he'd done last night. He'd felt invigorated, alive in a way he hadn't been for so long – at least as far back as when he and Levi had started going steady, and maybe not even then. Even now, the fire inside that Kai had stoked had yet to go cold.

He was free. Untethered by the obligations of soccer, school… and even his relationship. Had he not been so sure yesterday that it was over, he wouldn't have slept with Kai. He would have fought harder to keep Levi. On a deep, subconscious level – the same place where this new spark was coming from – maybe he'd known that he and Levi weren't right for each other. That he couldn't give the ram what he needed, and deserved.

He found something else in that freedom, too – relief, and joy, that Levi didn't want to cut him out of his life completely. Though there were so many unknowns, he was absolutely sure that he still wanted the ram in his life, too.

A smile tugging at the corners of his lips, he quickly tapped out a text back:

“that sounds great lev. u were right and im sorry for everything. i know u will find a guy who deserves you. i love u."

Ash hesitated a moment, then hit 'Send'. Maybe he'd tell him about Kai sometime in the future, or maybe he wouldn't – what mattered now was that Levi knew that he cared about him, deeply. That much, he didn't expect to change.

When he received a simple heart emoji in response, he let out a deep, deep sigh and set the phone down on the nightstand. A sudden pang of hunger reminded him that he still hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon, so he hunted for the box of energy bars. It was sitting on the edge of the desk – not nearly as elusive as Kai had made it seem, but not a flavor he particularly cared for. He polished one off in two bites anyway, nearly moaning in bliss as he finally got something solid into his complaining stomach.

He checked the time on his phone, realizing that he'd been so in his head that he hadn't registered it before. It was half past twelve. Kai would be back soon. He quickly threw on his underwear and slid back into the bedroom and onto dog's cushy mattress, then leaned over to pick up the note he'd left. After rereading it a few more times, he idly added him his contact list, then paused as he considered sending him a text.

There were no plans for the day. No soccer practice, no meetups with the team, no homework due tomorrow, no tests to prepare for. He did quickly message his parents, telling them that he was sorry for going radio-silent and that he could see them for dinner tonight if they were free. That gave him the whole afternoon to play with. That gave him the whole afternoon to play with an impossibly attractive painted dog.

He started to text Kai, but then thought better of it and set his phone down. He'd probably prefer to walk in on a half-naked elk in his bed without knowing ahead of time.

Rolling over onto his back, he contented himself with tracing the uneven bumps of the stuccoed ceiling. He didn't have anything to do but wait, but today he didn't mind. The bed was comfortable, his hunger was partly sated, and his headache was already starting to subside. The scents from last night – their scents – still hung in the air, and he drank them all in. They stirred his groin again, but he let it be for now. Best to wait on that, too.

His regrets over how he'd treated Levi, his unresolved concerns about his teammates' homophobia, his shame over the crushing defeat yesterday. Whether or not he and Kai had a future together, or if he would only ever be just another fling to him. He couldn't be bothered with any of it. For now, all Ash needed was to see the expression on the dog's face when he entered the room and saw that he was still here.

He smiled to himself, basking in the clean simplicity of the present moment.