FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Dawn of Dusk - Part 1: Tavern Wench - Chapter 5: A little perspective

© 2009 - 2019 Nameless

Lying awake and in terrible pain I listened as the sounds of the night slowly gave way to those of the day. The enforced waiting tore at my nerves. I was anxious for the night to be over, but the minutes dragged by so slowly I thought that I would go crazy. I heard the first morning bells and soon I could hear my parents come up the stairs. My 'guardian' sent them back. Traditionally the night ends with the bells for the morning service, not the first bell. He did tell them to prepare hot water so I could wash myself once he released me. He told them that I would need it, which I really did. For one I would need the hot water to warm up. I was so cold my body had stopped shivering and by now I hardly felt the cold any more; mostly I just felt numb. Second, I really needed to be cleaned. I had pissed on the mattress when I couldn't hold back any longer the night before and lain on the wet spot (by now pretty much the whole mattress was a wet spot) all night.

When the bells for the morning service finally rang, my mother ran back up the stairs and the door to the room was opened.

"Mother Lillith!" She rushed to my side. I barely had enough strength to turn my face towards her. "Yuck!" She began tugging at the rope wound around my head. It took her a while to get the knots untied, they were so tight. I felt strong hands start untying my elbows and arms. My mother pulled the vile rag out of my mouth and tossed it on the floor. I whimpered as the blood rushed back into my paws and feet.

I was too exhausted to move and my limbs hurt so much when I even tried to. I barely managed to croak, "Water..."

"Go on, madam, I'll carry her. Let's give her a bath."

"Thank you." He lifted me into a sitting position. I screamed when my feet touched the ground. He put his hands under my legs and lifted me as if I was a baby and followed my mother downstairs. My mother led him to the bathing room, ducked into the kitchen and called for Lavender to bring tea.

"Mother lift her legs." My mother took my ankles and held them up while he lowered me into the tub. She rested the ankles on the rim of the tub so my wounded feet would not have to touch anything.

I groaned in pain at the merest touch. "Mother Lillith have mercy!" My mother examined my feet, not saying anything more, but I could tell she was praying silently, shaken by what she saw. Lavender came in carrying a mug of tea, which she almost dropped when she saw me. Mother took the mug from her fingers and sent her back to the kitchen. She put the cup down on a bench and held out a ladle with water. I swallowed the first sip, then I used the rest to rinse my mouth, spitting the water into a pail. Then she held the cup of tea to my lips and let me drink a few sips.

The canine guard brought water and poured bucket after bucket of water into the tub, adding cold water as needed so it would not be too hot for me. The numbness began to dissipate and I started shivering from cold but after a while the water began to warm me up.

My mother removed most of her clothes, so she would not get them wet and began to wash me. "How do you feel, Daisy?"

"I hurt all over and I'm still cold, but I think I will be alright with a bit of rest. My feet hurt so much."

"Yes, your feet don't look good." Mother looked up at him and asked, "They are infected. It will be weeks before you can walk again."

"Don't worry, Mother." (My mother is not a priestess, but she is an initiate of Lillith and so 'Mother' is an appropriate term to address her) He went on, "When she's clean, I'll take her to the temple of Belial. A priest will heal her." He said that with certainty, but then as a valued retainer of a noble he would expect to get what he wanted.

"Lillith's blessings on you. But why help her now? If you had let me clean the wounds yesterday this would not be needed."

"Mother, I am sorry that my actions prolonged and increased the pain your daughter had to suffer, but I have to obey the commands of Lord Bael to the letter. He commanded me not to let her be 'disturbed' during the night. Yes, I know perfectly well, that you didn't want to disturb her rest, but help her. But I know he meant it that way, he wanted her to stay tied up all night. But he also promised that she would not be maimed or worse. I am pretty certain that later, when his anger has died down, he will be sorry he hurt your daughter, at least that he hurt her so badly. Of course he would never admit it out loud. Still, it is my duty to see that she suffer no lasting injury."

"I understand. Tom, thank you."

"You do not need to thank me. I am just doing my duty. I'm sure there are enough rumors floating around by now, Lord Bael was hardly circumspect, but I warn you not make matters worse by complaining about him. If he feels his honor impugned by gossiping commoners..." He did not elaborate what would happen, but we were well aware that it would not be pleasant for me or my family.

My mother washed me. I reveled in the warmth of the bath and her love. Her tender fingers felt so good on my skin and especially inside me when she scooped the wax out of my sore flower. It felt so good I almost forgot about the pain. Every now and then she let me drink watered down tea.

When I was reasonably clean (most if not all of the dirt had been removed, but I probably would not have felt completely clean had I bathed all day) Tom lifted me out of the tub and poured clean water over me. Then he carried me to an empty tub to dry off, since I could not stand up. Mother squeezed water out of my fur. She spread a towel on one of the benches and Tom carried me there. They dried me until the towel was soaked, then repeated the whole thing twice more with fresh towels.

"Do you want to eat something?"

"No, Mother. I don't think I could keep food down at the moment. Everything hurts so much that I feel sick." My stomach was empty, but I felt too nauseous to have any appetite. Tom helped me sit up, holding my ankles so my feet would not touch the floor. Mother wrapped me in a robe. He picked me up to carry me and I put my arms around his neck. Mother opened the doors for him, told me not to worry about working until I was hale and healthy again and sent us off.

The big dog carried me with little apparent effort. The people on the street stared at us, but most of them looked away quickly once they recognized the colors on his tabard. Most of those who noticed my feet looked aghast. "Tom?"

"Yes, lass?"

"If you don't want gossip, it might have been a better idea not to wear your colors. I mean, everybody who sees one of the bastard's men carrying an obviously wounded serving girl will wonder what's going on. Or, given the rumors already going around, won't really wonder but assume. Won't they?"

"I guess, yes. Maybe I should have thought about it. Well no help for it now, it's not that far to the temple."

"Tom?"

"Yes, Daisy, was it?"

"Daisy, yes." I lowered my voice, I didn't want anybody overhearing my next question, "Yesterday, your master threatened to have me skinned alive and my pelt hung on his wall. He said you'd do it. Would you really?"

"Would I? It would break my heart, but if he commands it, I would do it. Did he really threaten that?"

"Yes. Well, yesterday when I didn't do something he wanted, he told me what beautiful fur I had and how good it would look hanging over his fireplace."

"I see." He thought about it for a while, "Lord Bael sometimes does threaten such things, but so far he has not killed anybody, nor maimed them so much that they couldn't be fixed up again. At least not to my knowledge. I pray for you, that you will not run afoul of him again when he is in such a bad mood, but in case you do, remember this: he does like to inflict pain, but he is not one who likes to cause permanent damage. But you must also remember that he does take his word and his honor very seriously. If he threatens to do something to you, he will do so if you defy him."

"I... I understand."

"Do not tell this to anybody: I am pretty sure that he is already sorry for the pain he caused you. Well, at least for the really bad things. He may even send you some money or a small present as apology. He would never admit that he apologized to a commoner, but that's what it would be, even if he makes it look as if he was paying a whore. Do not make a fuss and, for Lucifer's sake, don't refuse the gift, he would be very offended if you do."

"I understand."

A minute later we reached the temple of Belial. He went past the temple to the hospital next door (it belongs to the temple and is run by the priests; a temple of Lillith always has an orphanage and woman's house, a temple of Belial has a hospital). He got the door open without dropping me and carried me inside. The acolyte in charge of admitting new patients got really deferential once he saw my companion's colors and hurried us into a private examination room.

Tom laid me on the bed and sat down. When I looked at him, I noticed a look of relief on his face and suddenly remembered that he had been standing guard the whole night. His feet must have been hurting almost as badly as mine.

The priest came in after only a minute or two. He was an older, portly man with a kind face. He looked at me for a moment before noticing the bastard's man. He bowed to him and asked, "I am Father Luc. What do you wish, my lord?"

"Heal her."

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"As long as what I tell you doesn't leave the room."

"If you wish it, I will treat it as a confession, my lord." When a priest takes a confession, he (or she) acts as a stand-in for his deity. What he or she is told is meant for his deities ears and for them alone. If he reveals what he has learned, he has committed a serious offense against his faith.

"I wish it to be so."

"Yes, my lord. I will take your confession. And yours too, my child. What I hear is for Belial's ears and His ears alone."

"Daisy here spilled wine on Lord Bael yesterday. As apology she agreed to be his toy for the night. He cut her feet and tied her up. We were not allowed to untie her or treat her wounds until this morning."

"I see." He turned to me, "Where are you hurt, my child?"

"I think the feet are the worst. My limbs hurt from being tied up so tight for so long. And I was so terribly cold all night. He spanked me badly and used me roughly, but I don't think he really hurt anything too badly apart from my feet."

"Yes, the soles of your feet look really bad. The wounds are inflamed." He examined my feet and arms. With Tom's help he removed the robe and examined my body, the back, tail and then the front. "You did good to bring her here. The wounds on her feet are inflamed and full of pus. If they aren't cleaned properly, she could get wound fever, or worse. Did the wounds get very dirty?"

"I had to stand and walk around after he cut my feet. So I guess some dirt and dust from the floor got in."

"I see." He considered for a moment and turned to Tom, "Can you carry her, my lord?"

"Yes, Father."

"Cover her with the robe and bring her, please." Tom wrapped the robe around me and picked me up. We followed the priest out of the room. We went down into the cellar and soon entered a cell-like room. There were several small barred windows high up on one wall. In the center of the room stood a bed with stocks at the foot end and other restraints. There were shelves and cupboards with various, often rather ominous looking items.

"Put her on the bed. On her back, please." The priest fetched something from one of the cupboards while Tom laid me on the bed. Father Luc returned, carrying a cup and a bottle. He filled the cup and offered it to me. Tom helped me sit up so I could drink. "Careful, this tastes very bitter. This will dull the pain when I clean the wounds on your feet."

I took a sip and almost spat the medicine out again. It tasted really bad. It wasn't easy, but I managed to force it down my throat. Suddenly I felt a little dizzy, apart from the herbs or whatever ingredients were in it, it was made of the strongest spirits. A large cup of that drunk on an empty stomach... I felt drunk.

Father Luc examined me once more and put a healing salve on my wrists, ankles and my snout. After a while Tom turned me over so the Father could examine my back. He rubbed more of the salve on my rump and then massaged balm into the skin on my limbs and shoulders. He told me that the salve was to heal my skin while the balm would relax the strained muscles and joints. The massage felt very pleasant and the medicine made me sleepy.

When he was finished treating the lesser wounds he turned his attention to my feet. He had Tom position my legs in the stocks. He positioned a kind of small table under my feet, forcing me to lift my them. Leather loops went around my toes, tying them in place. Several leather straps from the bed went over my body and arms. It was so I would not thrash around and hurt myself, the priest explained. He put a wooden rod in my mouth to bite down on.

I couldn't see what he did, but I think he cut the partially healed wounds open again, scraped the pus and dirt out and then cleaned them with strong spirits or something like this. The pain was incredible. I bit on the wood as hard as I could, while gurgling screams welled up from my throat.

Finally the painful part was over. Father Luc began to pray and touched me gently. Where he touched me a blessed coolness spread from his fingers and the pain lessened. The prayer went on for several minutes. When he was done I felt hardly any pain. My feet still hurt, but only a little, but no more than they did after running around all day. They released me from the restraints and Tom helped me sit up. I needed the help, my limbs didn't hurt any more, but now I was dizzy from the spirits I had drunk.

The priest looked tired and his face was pale; it was easy to see that the healing prayer had taxed him severely. He sat down on the bed next to me and rested for a moment. Then he told me, "Child, I have healed your wounds as best as I can. You can walk, but your feet are still very tender, so try to stay off them as much as possible, at least today. If they still hurt tomorrow morning, come back so I can check them. Do the same if you notice any signs of infection or swelling. I recommend that you use soft shoes or at least socks to protect your soles."

"Yes, Father. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness."

"Father Luc, you have my thanks as well. I will tell Lord Bael, your services will not be forgotten."

"Thank you, my lord."

After a minute the priest stood up. Tom brought me the robe and I put it on. Then he picked me up and we followed the priest back to the entrance.

"My lord, I'm grateful, but you don't have to carry any more."

"The priest said that you should stay off your feet. It's no bother for me. Unless you'd prefer to walk, of course..."

I thought about this for a moment, then I tightened my arms around his neck and snugged up to him. "No. I like it in your arms. You're so strong. And you smell good, my lord." After a while I asked, "Could you take me to the temple of Lillith, instead of home?"

"Of course. The main temple or the one neat Linden square?"

"The one near Linden square. Is it alright if I talk with Mother Dahlia about last night?"

"I guess so, as long as you di it in a confession."

"Yes, of course. I will do that." He walked another block and then turned into an ally, heading for the temple rather than back to the inn.

It didn't take him long to reach the temple. It took a bit of dexterity from both of us, but I managed to take off my robe without leaving my comfortable place in his arms. I folded the robe and stored it in a locker. "Daisy, I can't stay any longer, I'll leave after you greet Mother Lillith.

He carried me into the main temple room and set me down in front of the statue of Lillith. We attracted a lot of attention, within moments almost all eyes were on us (one couple was too busy praying to notice us). While it's not really forbidden to enter wearing clothes, it is very unusual. I knelt and kissed her flower. Feeling her love and approval, I moved up to her belly, breasts, neck and mouth.

I turned to him and he leaned towards me and said quietly, "Goodbye then, Daisy. I hope you won't hate me too much for last night."

When he started turning away, I suddenly felt a need to speak. I caught his paw in mine and whispered urgently, "You need to greet Mother Lillith. Please." When he didn't move, I tugged at his paw, looked up at him pleadingly and repeated, "Please."

I could see that he wanted to refuse, but then he relented. He knelt, asked her forgiveness for entering her temple clothed and kissed her flower. He seemed very surprised that she accepted him, more, she allowed him to kiss her belly as well. He thanked her and stood up. I could feel the surprise of the worshipers in the temple; I'm certain most if not all of them had heard rumors about the baron's bastard's activities last night and, like him, would have expected Lillith to punish him.

He stood up slowly, bowed and turned around to leave. Before he could, I wrapped my arms around his neck and whispered, "Tom, thank you for everything you did for me. I'd like to get to know you better. If you can find the time to visit me, please do. I would really like to thank you properly. But come without your master, alright?"

"I'll think about it, lass." I kissed him and released him. He smiled at me for a long moment, then he bowed and left.

I watched the door shut behind Tom. After a long moment I turned around, looking for Mother Dahlia. When our eyes met, she waved to me. But she was busy, she lay propped up on her elbows while a human male I didn't quite recognize (but I could tell that he was rather young) had his head between her spread legs.

I wanted to talk with her, but it would have been very rude to interrupt their prayers, so I walked to the front of the temple and knelt. I prayed to Mother Lillith, thanking her for surviving the night with (hopefully) no lasting injuries. When I was done and it looked as if Mother Dahlia was finished, I noticed the small shrine of Lirriel. I crawled over there and thanked Her as well. For good measure I thanked Andariel as well.

That done, I turned around to wait for Mother Dahlia to finish. She stopped the male with a tap on the head. When he lifted his head, I recognized him, Lucy an apprentice leather-worker [Note: Lucy is considered a variant of Lucifer and as such usually used for males, but it can be a female name as well]. They talked for a minute and then his head disappeared between her legs once more. After a minute she stopped him once more and gave him further instructions. They were talking in a low voice so that I could not understand what they said, but if I had to hazard a guess, I would say that Blossom (short for Cherry Blossom), Lucy's girlfriend, was not pleased with the wordless stories his tongue told her and had sent him to the temple to receive advice and instructions on how to use his tongue better.

Eventually he seemed to get the story right and Mother Dahlia squealed in pleasure (she has only a little bit of cat blood in her, but she sounds just like a feral cat in heat). After a bit her mewling screams stopped. His head bobbed up and down, probably lapping up her nectar.

"Much better, Lucy. You still need a lot of practice, but I think Blossom will be pleased. At least enough to allow you to practice on her some more." They were talking in a normal voice now, so I could understand them easily. She lifted herself up on her knees and went on, "Let me return the favor."

"Thank you, Mother, but no. I promised Blossom I would not ask for or accept relief until I satisfied her."

"Then go with Mother Lillith's blessing, my son. And blessings on Cherry Blossom as well." She grinned, "Make her squeal."

"Thank you. Blessings on you as well." He stood up, bowed (a little awkwardly as his cock stood proud) and left. He looked to be in dire need of relief. I hoped he would satisfy his girlfriend. From what I knew of Blossom, she would make it worth his while once he finally did manage to satisfy her.

When Lucy had left, Mother Dahlia turned to me and indicated that I should approach. I crawled over to her, since it was close enough that there was little point in getting up. "May Lillith bless you, my child." She touched my breasts and my flower. "Good morning, Daisy."

I bowed my head and answered, "Lillith's blessing on you, Mother."

"You look good... all things considered."

"I guess so. Can we talk in private? I would like to make this a confession."

"Of course. Come." We got up and walked to one of the private rooms at the side of the temple. I followed her in and closed and barred the door behind us. Mother Dahlia lay down on the bed, on her side, facing me. I climbed into the bed and lay down on my back, resting my head on my arms. She said, "I will take your confession, Daisy. What I hear is for Lillith's ears and Her ears alone."

I closed my eyes and relaxed as she caressed me gently. Her lips kissed my face, neck and breasts while her hand touched my belly, thighs and my flower. Her familiar scent filled my nose.

"I heard rumors that Lord Bael abused a serving girl in an inn not far from here yesterday. I assume that this was you?"

"Yes, Mother."

"I must say, I'm a little surprised at how... healthy you look, considering what I heard."

"I did look a lot worse in the morning. Tom, the bastard's man took me to the hospital and a priest of Belial healed me." I lifted my left leg and looked at the leathery pad. The wounds were clearly visible, but well healed, the way you would expect them to look after several days. "He cleaned the wounds and healed them with a prayer. Without that I would likely not have been able to walk for days, if not weeks. Or I might have gotten wound fever. Lord Bael really forced me to kiss Lirriel's ass.

I tripped and spilled a whole bottle of wine on that bastard. I'm pretty sure that one of his friends tripped me. The bastard got really angry. And with his sword at my throat I agreed to be his toy for the night. It was the worst thing I've ever been through. More torture than play."

"Daisy?"

"Yes, Mother?"

"I wonder if you would be willing to talk with another person about this. I mean, not instead of me, but as well. What I mean is this, you know I will help you in any way I can, but what you went through is not really anything I have much experience with. I have sometimes lifted my tail for men I didn't like much because I was afraid what might happen if I did not and some of them played rough, but they never hurt me all that much. This is really something you should speak about with a follower of Lirriel."

"What do you suggest? Should I go to the main temple?"

"If you want to. But what I propose is this: There is an initiate of Lirriel who's staying in the woman's house for a few days. Why don't we ask her to join us?"

"If she's not a priestess, what about the confession? I really don't want any word spreading..."

"That's not really an issue. Usually only priestesses take confessions, but this is not a law. If an initiate agrees to take your confession, she's bound to silence just as much as I am."

"Do you know her? Do you trust her?"

"Well, I don't know her personally all that well, but we did talk a lot over the last few days. But I shared a room with her mother during my novitiate and she was one of my best friends. I see no reason why I would not trust her with such a matter. I think she can help you from a perspective that I just don't have on what you went through. It's up to you, off course."

I was a bit leery to talk about what I went through with someone I didn't know at all. On the other hand, Mother Dahlia had guided me all my life, and I trusted her as much as I trusted my mother, she was a part of my family. Besides, after thinking about it, I began wondering how anybody could chose to go through something like I had been forced to voluntarily. "Alright, let's talk to her."

"Get up, Daisy, She's at one of the visitor's rooms. Probably still sleeping. No, I'm sure she won't be angry for waking her up."

I got up reluctantly, I had enjoyed her gentle ministrations a lot. We left the private room and headed for the orphanage (it's basically the same as the woman's house). Mother Dahlia found Ivy, her oldest daughter, currently a novice of Lillith and sent her to the temple to look after the worshipers while she was with me.

At the door to one of the visitor's rooms (one of the more private ones in the back) Mother Dahlia stopped me. "Sister Bramble is in this room. She's probably tied up. Now, she asked me to abide by a few rules when waking her up. First, do not speak her name until she is up and has greeted you. Second, how to wake her up: a few slaps on the ass are best, or you can pinch her nipples, something like that. Then you untie her. Finally, you remove her hood. Can you do that?"

"Um-mm... I'd prefer not to."

"Please, it's the way she wants it."

"Really? Alright, fine."

"Good, remember the rules?"

"Don't use her name, wake her up, untie her and then take off her hood."

"Good. I'm just going to open the shutters to give you some light and leave the rest to you. Shut the door behind you." She opened the door and walked into the dark room.

It was dark, but not completely so, the shutters were not completely light-tight and a little light came in from the corridor. In the middle of the room was a bed, just big enough so two people who liked each other could sleep together. Of course, this was a visiting room, so the usual reason for two people to be in it together was because they liked and/or loved each other. On the bed was a kneeling figure. I closed the door behind me and turned my attention to the kneeling person. She remained cloaked in the darkness for a few moments more and then Mother Dahlia opened the first shutter and light flooded the room.

Sister Bramble was a human woman and a rather small one. It was difficult to estimate her size in the position she was in, but as far as I could tell she was about the same size as me or perhaps a little bit taller. Since she did not have fur or a tail she would probably seem smaller than me at first glance. She was slim but her hips flared and her rear was nicely shaped. She had perhaps the fairest skin I had ever seen, it was almost pure white. That made the contrast to the angry red welts that covered most of it even greater. She looked as if she had been whipped to within an inch of her life. On her buttocks I could see hardly any unmarked skin.

She knelt with her legs spread widely, her rear faced the door. Her arms were cuffed behind the back and tied to a rope that pulled them up, way past her head, forcing her to lean forward. A leather strap was wrapped around her elbows, pulling them together so they touched. Her long hair was pale blonde with just enough of a reddish sheen that one could notice it.

I was appalled at what I saw, suddenly the way I had spent the night didn't seem all that bad any more. As I walked forward to get a better look, I saw that her ankles had been cuffed to the outer side of the boards that made up the bed frame. Her whole weight was supported by her shins where they rested on the rather thin boards. I didn't even want to imagine how much it must hurt to spend a whole night in this position. I walked around so I could see her front.

She had rather ample breasts. They were not extremely big (for a human) but on her small frame they seemed almost too big. Her front had been whipped just as badly as the rear, if not more. I swallowed hard when I saw the welts, her breasts were especially bad, they had been whipped even worse than her buttocks. Between them hung a pendant with Lirriel's symbol: A bramble flower, in a loop of the vine, the petals pierced by long thorns. I felt a little faint when I saw her thighs, even her flower had been whipped until her lower lips were bloody red.

I suddenly noticed the scents of sex and, looking closer, I saw the telltale sheen of dried juices on her breasts, belly and thighs. Her head was completely covered by a leather hood, laced shut at the back and top. There was a slit for the mouth, but that was also laced up and there were a couple of small holes for the nose. Her breath was deep and regular as if she was sleeping peacefully.

I looked at Mother Dahlia for guidance, but she just smiled at me. I sighed, took a deep breath to steel myself and tried to find a suitable spot to use to wake up Sister Bramble. After a bit I gave it up, her buttocks and thighs were covered with so many welts that I could have barely touched her with a fingertip if I tried to restrict myself to the unmarked skin. I smacked her lightly, but got no noticeable reaction. A slightly harder smack caused a little change in her breathing, but she didn't wake up, so I smacked her again. This time she inhaled sharply, her muscles flexed and her head lifted a little. When I smacked her one more time, to be certain, she wiggled her rear end a little, so I assumed that she was now awake.

The rope that pulled at her arms had been thrown over a hook screwed into a support beam and then tied off around one leg of the bed. The knot had been pulled very tight, I could barely get it open, even using my claws. When the knot finally came loose I let the rope play out slowly. Her arms dropped and her posture eased. Next I untied the leather strap that pulled her elbows together. Once more the knot was so tight that I had trouble untying it. Then I untied the rope from the leather cuffs around her wrists. When they were free, she let her arms hang at the sides.

I untied the cuff on her right ankle from the bed frame and lifted the foot onto the mattress. Then I repeated the same on the left side. She was kneeling easily now, and was clearly awake, but she didn't move otherwise. I unlaced the back of her hood and pulled it forward, over her head and let it drop in front of her.

I stepped forward and she turned her head to look at me. When I saw her face, I was shocked. I'm not sure what I had expected, but not this. It was a familiar look, one I saw often enough in the morning: the satisfied contentment one gets after a few (or a lot of) exhausting bouts of friendly wrestling and a good night's sleep. The smile on her lips was positively serene and her green eyes sparkled. I stared at her for a long while before I finally found my tongue, "Good morning."

"Good morning."

Mother Dahlia had been waiting for me to start, "Good morning, Bramble. This is Daisy, one of my parishioners. I'm sorry we woke you a little earlier than you asked us to, but she had some unpleasant experiences that I feel you could help her with."

"Sure, I'm always happy to help someone in need, Mother." She turned back to me and asked, "How can I help you, Daisy?"

"Yesterday Lord Bael, the baron's bastard son forced himself on me. I had to agree to be his toy for the night. And, well, I guess you could say that he forced me to kiss Lirriel's ass."

"I see. You follow Lillith, I take it."

"Yes."

Mother Dahlia added, "It can't become known that she talked about it, so you need to treat this as a confession."

"Of course, I will take your confession, my child. What I hear is for Lirriel's ears and Her ears alone." After a moment she asked, "Is this very urgent, if possible, I would like to visit the outhouse and break my fast."

"Of course, Sister Bramble. I am not in a hurry."

"Thank you." She stood up and stretched, moving with a feline grace. Now that she was standing up, I could see that she was just an inch or two taller than me.

Mother Dahlia said, "Why don't you two get acquainted? I'm sure Anna and Faith will get you something to eat. I need to return to the temple and you can find me there when you're done."

"Of course, Mother." We both spoke in unison, looked at each other and laughed. Bramble embraced me and we kissed. Suddenly I felt a whole lot better and it almost felt as if I had found my long lost sister. We left the room and I headed for the kitchen to scare up something to eat. As I walked, I suddenly realized that I was ravenous.

Since breakfast was long over and lunch still a while away, they didn't have all that much to eat. Still Faith managed to find some bread, butter, jam, cheese and even a little ham (the temple is always a little short on food; with all the orphans there are never enough donations but they never go hungry either) and tea. Not as much or as good as I'd get at home, but enough to tidy us over until lunch.

Sister Bramble came in after a few minutes and greeted Faith and the couple of older children who helped with the cooking warmly. She sat down next to me, said a short prayer and sipped from the cup of tea I had poured for her. She put some butter and jam on a slice of bread and began to eat it. After a few bites she said, "Daisy, you look like you have questions."

"Yes, Sister Bramble. If it's not too personal... Um-mm..."

"I follow Lirriel and I'm always happy to answer questions about her worship. You wonder how I can be so well-rested after sleeping tied up?"

"Yes."

"Hmm-mm... Stop me if I dig to deep, but I guess you had to sleep tied up recently and it wasn't fun?" I nodded. "Well, mostly it's like the difference between playing rough when making love and getting raped. Strange as it might sound, I enjoy it."

"Does this not hurt?"

"Yes. Of course it hurts, often it hurts a lot. But for me it's a good kind of hurt. And the pain excites me."

"Because you follow Lirriel?"

"Yes. But also the other way round. I follow her because this is a good kind of pain for me. I guess, like Andariel, a lot of her followers do it because they have to. Since they have to submit to their master's games or because they see it as the best way to survive or earn money they pray to her for succor and such. But there are also those who actually enjoy worshiping her. I love being tied up. For me it's the only time I feel really free."

"But..."

"Sounds strange, doesn't it? Maybe it's more like free of responsibility and such. When I'm tied up and helpless, I can't do anything anyway, so I don't have to do anything and I can just let go and relax."

"I see. I don't think I could do that."

"Maybe, maybe not." She smiled at me, "It is definitely not for everybody. You have just had a very bad experience, it might well be better another time. Or it might not be. What do you do for a living?"

"My parents owns an inn not far from here, the Welcome Arms inn. I'm a tavern wench."

"And you follow Lillith. I assume you 'entertain' guests occasionally?" I nodded. "Do you follow Andariel as well?"

"Sometimes. I mean, I don't mate with anybody for the money, but the promise of a generous tip can make a suitor seem more attractive. "

"Have you ever had to follow her?"

"A couple of times, I guess. My father is a good friend of the district commander of the town watch and they often visit us when they're off duty. They usually make sure I'm not bothered too much, but there have been a few cases where I felt it was less trouble to lift my tail for a male I didn't fancy rather than anger an important or rich guest. A few times I was offered a tip that was just too tempting and he didn't seem too bad at the moment, but turned out worse afterwards."

"So, the expected. Like the saying goes, a woman follows Lillith when she can, Andariel when she must, eh?"

"Yes, that sums it up nicely."

"Do you know the third part of the saying?"

"No. I didn't know there was any."

"Well, it's not that commonly used. It goes something like: and Lirriel when things are really bad."

"Makes sense to me. Fits what happened to me quite well."

"That's how most people see Lirriel: like Andariel, but more so. Following her is more painful but pays better. Well, there is a lot of truth to that, and, unfortunately, for many that is all they think there is to it, but there is more."

"How so?"

"For those who follow her very far, and I count myself among them, following her can be a lot more like following Lillith rather than Andariel. For us it is a lot of fun and very rewarding. At least most of the time."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I can understand that, especially when you've just had a bad experience. But... well, I'm sure you've been with a male who was very strong and domineering who took charge and had his way with you, maybe even pretended to rape you or make you do slightly unpleasant or humiliating things. And yet you enjoyed it."

"Yes, I guess I've experienced that a few times. And yes, I enjoyed it, well, not everything, but most of it."

"So, where do you stop following Lillith and start following Lirriel? When a much stronger male holds you? When he grabs your wrists and pins you down? When he ties you up? Or only when he ties you up when you don't want him to?" She waited a moment before going on, "There simply is no clear separation, there is a wide range where you could say follow either or both. And the further you follow Lirriel, the bigger the range becomes, the more painful things can get before you don't enjoy it any more."

"I see... I have never though about it like this, but it makes sense. It was a few weeks ago... there was this female cat, an initiate of Lespia. I'm not usually all that much interested in females, but there were no interesting male guests that day. One thing led to another and, well, I guess you can say she seduced me and I agreed to be her pet for the night. She played with me, humiliated me, tied me up, even hurt me a little. But on the whole nothing she did was really bad and it was very exciting and turned out to be a lot of fun. She made me squeal so loud I must have woken up the whole neighborhood. I never even realized that I might have followed Lirriel as well as Lillith and Lespia that day."

"Sounds like you already know a lot of what I wanted to say, you just didn't realize it. Everybody has a different limit when pain or embarrassment stops being fun, stops turning you on and begins to really hurt you. Also everyone likes different things and has different things that you hate. For me, following Lirriel means that I explore my limits and push them further and further."

She took another bite from her bread (she was on her third slice by now), watching me with sparkling eyes. Suddenly I noticed something I had been seeing the whole time: her eyes looked weird, not quite human. And suddenly I also noticed her fingers, they were unusually stubby for a human and the nails were very narrow but long, almost like claws.

When I met her eyes once more, she smiled, "You have good eyes. Yes, I'm not entirely human, one of my great-grandmothers was a cat. Since the signs are so small, few notice it. Apart from the eyes and nails, I also have a rather flexible spine. Rather useful in my line of work." She finished the bread and said, "I'm done. Let's find Mother Dahlia, shall we?"

I ate the rest of my second slice while I helped her pack up the rest of the food. Then I followed her to the temple.

When we got there, Mother Dahlia was talking with Mistress Saffron, a young and rather pretty mouse and human mixed blood. She had married a wealthy tailor, a much older human, a few months ago. I might have not seen him as a very good catch (well, he is wealthy but quite fat and definitely not good-looking, almost ugly, in fact), but she seemed happy enough. In any case, Lillith had blessed their union with a child. Her belly was noticeably bigger than it had been the last time I had seen her a few weeks earlier. If I remembered correctly, she had about two months to go. We waited for her to finish talking, but when she saw us she waved us over.

I greeted her warmly, as did Bramble. Then we listened to her and the Mother. It seemed that she had some (hopefully minor) issues with her pregnancy. Mother Dahlia gave her some advice and blessed her, it was not just a regular blessing, but a kind of healing prayer to make the pregnancy easier. Eventually she was done and we sent her off with our blessings.

We went back into the private room and barred the door. The bed was big enough for three, but only barely. I lay on my back with Mother Dahlia and Bramble at my sides, They repeated the formal words to mark the beginning of the confession. I closed my eyes and relaxed while the two kissed and caressed me. I found that I felt a lot better than I had during the first confession with Mother Dahlia. Time had passed and my talk with Bramble had helped a lot. Her presence felt good. Suddenly I realized how the two complemented each other; like Lillith and Lirriel, they were very different but they could work together and, when they did, were stronger for it.

"Tell us what happened, child." I opened my eyes and suddenly realized that I could not tell which of the two had spoken. Talking about last night was painful, but also good and needful. Like cleaning a wound, only a wound of the soul. They didn't interrupt me until I was finished with my story.

Mother Dahlia's face was grim and her eyes shone with anger and disgust, "That was horrible."

Sister Bramble looked a lot calmer, but not happy either, "Yes, pretty nasty."

I asked, "Only 'pretty' nasty?"

"Yes. You got through it without any permanent damage. It could have been worse, much worse. Many who don't have much use for Lirriel normally come to us for help after they were abused, raped or tortured. If you want to hear some stories... But I don't like to talk about such things if I have eaten recently." I shook my head, I had some morbid curiosity to find out more, but not now. Or anytime soon. "By 'nasty' I meant that he deliberately set out to hurt you, not just physically, but emotionally; he didn't just want to play rough with you."

"I... yes, you are right about that, he wanted to make things bad for me."

"Also, remember, how unpleasant something is depends on you, and how you feel about it. If he had done exactly what he did but made you serve as his 'pet' and not his 'toy' it would have hurt the same, but a much weaker emotional impact on you."

I thought about this for a long moment, "You may be right about that."

"So, let's go through the things he did. I think I got a good idea from listening to you, but I'd like you to think about how the different things he did or forced you to do affected you."

"Let's see, I don't mind going naked all that much. What really bothered me were the constant degrading comments. I follow Lillith, I'm not a whore or a slut. Or having to lie to our guests; sure I make mistakes, but I'm proud to serve them and I know I'm pretty good and so do they. Having to 'apologize' for being a 'piss-poor servant'..."

"Yes, saying things like that to a female, especially one who follows her, is an offense against Lillith. Unfortunately Lord Bael is too powerful for our temple to punish him directly. Should he ever need any favor from Lillith, though, then I imagine he will have to make harsh penance to return to her favor."

"The spanking hurt a lot, but it wasn't too bad. Most of the guests were really nice to me. Drinking his piss was degrading and, well, it tasted bad. That was very unpleasant but bearable." After a bit I went on, "Cutting my feet was really bad. At first it was painful, but bearable, if only just, but the pain got worse and worse as the night went on. Being tied up all night was horrible, it was the most pain I've ever felt. And it felt like it would never end. And I know it hurt my parents a lot that they were not allowed to help me. Tom was perhaps the best thing, just that he would check on me from time to time, that he cared enough to see if I was still alive helped."

"What really threw me was how the bastard used me. When he tied me to the table I was in so much pain, I thought I would pass out any moment and I hated him so much, but as soon as he touched me I got so hot and came so hard and often. I don't think I ever felt like that. It was so glorious and horrible at the same time. And I begged for his touch, not just because I was afraid of what he might do if I did not, but also because I was so hot I couldn't stop myself, I wanted it so much. Then he made me beg so loud the whole neighborhood must have heard me, fucked me so hard and I didn't come. I can't understand it at all. It was the worst humiliation I ever felt."

"Now that," Bramble said, "I can help you with. At least a little."

"Yes?"

"Yes. What you have to do is really easy, and really hard at the same time. You just don't let it bother you."

"How can I do that?"

"The simple truth is, if someone has you in his power, when you can't stop him from touching you the way he wants to, he can get you off. Depending how skilled he, or she, is, it may take a little time or a long time, but eventually he'll manage it. Assuming he knows what he's doing and he pays attention to your body to see how you react."

"And there's nothing I can do to stop that?"

"No. Not without serious training or divine favor, at least. You can delay it, but eventually he will get around your defenses. The thing is, God gave us free will, and so you would expect to have power over your own body, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"Yes, you have, but that only goes so far. We are not just His children, but also Gaia's; we all have an animal part as well as a thinking mind. Humans perhaps a little less than furs, but only a tiny little bit less. A bitch goes into heat when it's the right time of year and when they smell her the male dogs want to mate with her. They don't need to think, when they get the right signals, their bodies just do what they're supposed to do."

She let me think about it a bit before she went on, "Or, you could think of it like this: You're a cup, if you like a male you're already half full or more when he starts pouring in more, if you don't like him, you're empty. But if he keeps pouring into you, you'll run over sooner or later. When you follow Lillith, when he allows you to follow Her you get to stop him if you don't like him; if you follow Lirriel or have to kiss her ass, you don't have a chance to stop him."

"I see."

"Of course, knowing this helps, but you must believe it deep down in your soul. Once you do, your body can't be used against you. A piece of cloth is soft, when you hit it, it will give way. On the other hand, a wooden plank is hard and won't bend if you hit it. But hit it hard enough and it'll break or shatter. But you can't break the piece of cloth just by hitting it."

"Yes, I see."

"Using your body's needs and pleasure against you is a common way to break slaves. Few people think or want to believe that they can be manipulated that way, they try to fight it and eventually break when its forced on them. There are simply too many ways to break somebody, if you are in someones power they can break you eventually. Should this happen, your best bet is to try to fight it and after a while just give in and hope they believe you broke. You'll get bent but not broken."

"You mean in case I get abducted by slavers?"

"Yes. But you can use the same idea if you get forced to kiss Lirriel's ass again."

"Pretend to resist and then stop struggling?"

"Yes. Of course this only works if you really stop struggling, not if you just pretend to. And you have to be fine with doing it, otherwise you haven't really stopped fighting them and they can still break you. Outside you can still pretend to struggle, of course."

"Alright."

"It is a little harder to get somebody really hot but not let her come, especially if you don't know the person well. It is a lot harder to fight as you can't just shut your body down and not feel anything."

"Sometimes it would be nice."

"Nice maybe, fun not. The thing is, anything you like or enjoy can be used against you. The more you like it the better it can be used. The sharper the knife is the better it will cut your own hand. You know, the celestials say that a woman should not feel anything when she mates, she should hike up her skirt, spread her legs and let him do his thing. Would you prefer that?"

"No!"

"Exactly. That's why you wear this." She poked the Lilly pendant that lay between my breasts. "You follow Lillith because you want to love, want to feel the pleasures of the flesh, want to bask in the love of your family and your lovers. These are all wonderful things, but they make you vulnerable. You might not agree to do something even if you are threatened, but will you still refuse if your little sister or your own child is threatened?"

I stared up at her and then nodded.

"Also, do you really care what a male like that baron's bastard thinks of you?"

I thought about it for a moment and shook my head.

"So let him think you're a whore, a slut or whatever. You know who you are, kissing his feet and saying 'Yes Master I'd love to eat your shit' doesn't change that. He can only make you less than you are if you let him. Let him think he's better than you, bide your time, maybe you'll get a chance for revenge. And if you can't hurt him, remember, the best revenge is living well. Don't let him destroy you, bend as much as needed, but get back up once his foot isn't on your neck any more."

"Still, something bugs me about how this Lord Bael used you. Mother, do you know if he follows Pan or Domm?"

"Not that I know. Well, judging by his behavior I could easily see him follow either or both, but if he does he doesn't follow them far enough to wear their symbols or visit their shrines regularly. Why?"

"The first part I can understand, that he raped Daisy and got her off, that is not that difficult to do if you have some experience. But the second part? He gets her hot enough to make her beg out loud for more, he fucked her hard and somehow managed to keep her from coming? That takes serious skill. Or a little help. A spell or a magic item."

"Now that you mentioned it, yes, this is strange. I don't know him that well, but from everything I know I doubt that he has the self-control not to mention the time or interest to learn how to do that. A magic item seems much more likely. From everything I have heard about him, he does revel in lording it over his servants, especially the girls, even when he doesn't have a bad day. He's certainly rich enough to afford a magic item for it."

"A magic item? For what?"

"To help him with mating and controlling his partner. Priests of Pan are well-known to provide items to enhance male 'performance'. But their items only help things along, let him become hard at will, let him come when he wants and make it fun for the female. There are also items that can control the sub, make her, or him, hot but only let her come when the 'master' allows it, but only priest of Domm make those, or mages who take an interest in these things."

"It would make sense how he got me all hot with just a little touch and all that. I just remembered something, I thought it was just a trick of the light, but once I thought I saw a silver ring around his cock, but when I looked again, I couldn't see it any more."

"I can't say it for certain, but that certainly fits. Such item are often made to be worn thus and will be hidden from view. Or they will be unobtrusive items, many nobles wear a signet ring, for example. There are many forms of such items, some are intended for the 'master' to let him control whoever he is currently with, some are for the 'slave', so anybody who is with her can control her. By control I mean that she can be made to be aroused or not, be allowed to get off or not and such. It is not something you'd use on every slave, these items are not that common and rather expensive, but they are sometimes used for expensive 'sex toys' by or for rich people. The items intended for the slave are usually collars or the like, some even come in sets. The insidious thing about these items is that the body remembers. Put a collar that makes her aroused on a slave or give her another item that prevents her from becoming aroused when the collar is not worn. After a while she will get aroused when she wears a collar, even if it's a perfectly normal one."

"Um-mm... How do you know so much about this?"

"A master can forbid a slave many things, but unless he totally crushes her soul, he can't stop her from praying in her heart. It's probably no surprise that many slaves, particularly when they have to serve as sex toys, do pray to Lirriel. So it's an important matter for us, something every initiate learns about."

"While that's an interesting topic, I'm sure, I do hope and pray that I won't need to know about that."

"I will pray that you will never need the knowledge, but you never know. Especially when you work in a tavern where you always meets strangers and may meet ones you can't or don't dare to refuse." She considered what else to say for a bit and then asked, "Well, be that as it may, how about you? Anything else we can help you with?"

I considered it for a long moment before I answered, "No, not really. I mean, what he did to me was excruciatingly painful, but hopefully it's over now. My reaction to him was probably the thing that hurt my self esteem the most. But I feel a lot better about it now, especially knowing that he likely used magic on me. I'd like to talk more with you, Bramble, but later."

"I'm always happy to talk about Lirriel's worship. I will probably stay here for another week or two. I won't always have time, but I am usually free from late morning until early afternoon. When I don't have any prior engagement, I'll be happy to talk with you."

"Then let's pray to Lillith and thank her for keeping you safe." After a moment Mother Dahlia added, "Lirriel as well, of course. Bramble, would you like to..." She gestured in the direction of my belly and Bramble nodded eagerly, "Close your eyes, Daisy and feel the Mother's love."

Bramble kissed me, on the lips but a little hesitantly. After a moment I realized what she wanted and I lifted my head a little to get closer and pushed my tongue deep into her mouth. We shared a breathtakingly long kiss until I lowered my head back on the mattress. Even with me on the bottom, she let me, wanted me to take control. Mother Dahlia kissed the right side of my body, my neck, shoulder and breast.

My lips still tingled with Bramble's taste. I lifted my left hand and put it on her head, pushing it gently down towards my neck. When her lips got close enough, she began to kiss and lick me. I guided her head this way and that, slowly moving it down my body. I let her kiss my breasts for a while before moving her further down. While I played with her, Mother Dahlia continued to kiss me, moving to stay out of the way of Bramble's body. I turned my head towards her, so we could kiss easier. Their warmth and love enfolded me and I felt my desire rise. I moaned into her kiss.

Without any conscious thought from me, my legs began to move apart. Bramble and Dahlia moved their bodies to so they were not in my way and Bramble put her hands on my hips, caressing them gently. Once Bramble's head reached my belly, Dahlia spread her attention between my face, neck and breasts, using one hand as well as her lips and tongue to pleasure me.

I pushed Bramble's head down further, let her lick my belly button and then the upper edge of my flower. I played with her, letting her poke her tongue into me a little just to move her head away again. But slowly, little by little, I moved her down and towards my center. Her tongue was eager and skilled, bringing pleasure to every part of my body I allowed her to reach. My breathing sped up and my moans deepened.

I played with her a bit more and slowly let her tongue closer to my center. Her hot breath filled me. A chittering squeal escaped my lips and I pushed her head as far into me as I could. Her tongue seemed to find all the most sensitive spots deep inside me, fanning the fires of my desire. It did not take long before my back arched and a scream of ecstasy welled up from my throat. Just as it was about to explode from my lips, Dahlia's tongue invaded my mouth, trapping the scream in my throat. I came. Again and again their tongues and fingers found new places and ways to draw more pleasure from my body. But eventually my body tired and they slowed and then stopped.

Bramble pulled her head back a little, lapped at my wet slit for a bit and then crawled closer to my face. We all kissed, sharing the taste of my pleasure. I opened my eyes and said, "Thank you both for giving me the blessing of Mother Lillith. May I bless you as well?"

Mother Dahlia kissed my cheek and answered, "Not now, Daisy, not today. This one was for you."

"What she said. But you're welcome to stay and talk more with me over at the orphanage. Maybe other things as well, if you want to."

"As you wish." I kissed both once more, pushed them away gently and struggled up on my knees. I crawled to the small statue of Lillith, kissed her and spoke a silent prayer of thanks to Her.

Bramble helped me up on my feet. I hugged both of them and then unbarred the door. Mother Dahlia stayed in the temple to help other worshipers while Bramble and I went to the orphanage to help with the midday meal.