Erase (W.I.P.)
Story by SinkSankSunk on SoFurry
An unfinished story that I'm basing off of a dream I once had.
I would absolutely love to have your input on this because, frankly, I'm not a writer and I'm sure that I'm no good at this. If there's anything I ought to change, like grammar and literacy then please let me know. I'm not even sure if "Erase" is the permanent title.
I know I said "well dressed man" too much, but I have no idea what I'm doing... sorry.
Also, let me know where you think I am (or should be) taking the direction of this story.
And if it's terrible, plz let me down easy... plz
Colonial America.
An outdoor black market on the edge of town. It's raining with a steady downpour as grungy black market dealers shout their deals into the night air. Lots of market stalls, lots of desperate sellers hocking their various goods and wares but not many people looking to buy.
At one end of the market a man stands in front of several animal cages, made from wood and chicken wire.
Some cages are empty but most are filled with people; slaves. Slaves of all types: old and young, strong and weak, male and female. The slave master isn't racist either, as some are black, others white, a few asian.
The owner is cleaner than the other dealers in the market, but not by much. He wears a brown pinstripe suit that was clearly owned by multiple others beforehand. His top hat looks like an experiment in automatic can openers. As he stands there a yells about his outrageous deals and unbeatable prices a man enters the market.
This individual is very visibly burdened with an overabundance of money. Dark shoes that sparkle and shine even when they aren't wet, a long cane made of ebony [i]and[/i] ivory, a tailor made suit darker than the night sky above him. A short, fashionable top hat adorns his head while an excruciatingly expensive cloak made of bear fur drapes from his shoulders.
The well-dressed man walks through the market, past all the stalls and shop owners. Walking with intent he heads directly for the slave owner. Stopping a few feet away from the slaver, possibly to avoid the smell, he says nothing and begins to peruse the cages. The rich man never moves his head as he examines the slaves: they aren't even clothed.
The slave master says "Hey fella, you see anything you like?" The rich man doesn't turn his head, but shoots his eyes over to the slaver with a gaze that cut right through him. His expression conveys determination with slight anger and aggravation.
"How much?" he said from the side of his mouth, with a sneer.
"For which one? Asked the slaver.
"How. Much."
"Eh, $1,000 for the adults. Double for kids."
"Are they clean? Any of them sick?"
"Each is clean and dry. Except for the old man, he's got back troubles... half price."
The well-dressed man scans each cage then looks out into the distance. As he looks back one final time he notices the cage nearest to him, roughly 3 feet tall. Occupied by one individual, a woman curled into a ball.
He slowly leans forward closer to the woman. Even though it's raining he can tell there's tears rolling down her cheeks. Her age is indeterminate, she's clearly starved, and shivering almost violently. The man looks her up and down for a few more seconds then stands up straight, he taps his cane on the chicken wire of the cage and says "This one."
The slave owner nods and says "One thousand."
The rich man reaches into his jacket, retrieves a pocket book and says "Extra 1,000. Forget who bought this one." As he holds out the money the slaver reaches out his hand and says "Aye, aye captain..."
The man retracts the money quickly and stares at the slaver. "Do you know who I am?"
"No?" The slaver replied.
The well-dressed man extends his arm and the money once more, allowing the slave owner to take it this time.
The slaver counts the money, then asks him where he wants her delivered. The man replies "Open the cage."
"Now? What, you just gonna carry her?"
"Open it."
The slaver shrugs and says "...okay." The slaver pulls a key out of his sleeve and opens the cage.
The woman doesn't react.
The well-dressed man crouches down and reaches in the cage, he pulls the woman out, she seems as if she's awake but not conscious. Barely standing on her feet. The man turns her head towards him and stares at her face, her eyes still shut. The woman stands unclothed in the cold rain, shaking. The man unhooks his cloak and places it around the shivering woman's body.
He grabs her right hand with his left, adjusts his grip on the cane and walks off with slave in tow, in the opposite direction he came from.
Moments later the slaver hears a carriage with several horses take off at a full gallop.
(To be continued)