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As Oliver and his family stepped into the Mall for the first time in all week, he felt excitement growing in him. He was looking forward to going over to GameStop and seeing if there were any exciting Video Games to look at.

“Mom, can I-”

“Yeah, go ahead,” she said.

“Mom,” cried one of Oliver’s sisters “I need to pee!”

“No, no sweetheart,” Oliver’s Mom hurried to cover her mouth, “We don’t say that out loud, remember? Other people could be listening.”

Oliver’s Mom looked around self-consciously to make sure nobody was paying attention, then she led her children discreetly over the bathroom. Quietly, she stepped into the bathroom to make sure it was empty, then she peaked out.

“The coast is clear, you can come in,” she looked at Oliver, “Can you keep watch?”

Oliver stood awkwardly by the entrance and nodded.

“But Mom,” complained Oliver’s sister, “They have doors here.”

“We still don’t want anyone to know you’re in here, it’s just not proper.”

Oliver stood awkwardly by the door while his sister went, then he waited while his other sister went too. Fortunately nobody came by while he was waiting, because he hated trying to explain to others why they shouldn’t go into the bathroom without telling them that anybody was in there. Plus, a 3rd Grade boy otter standing in front of the girl’s bathroom… weird. Never go in public, he always thought, it’s super embarrassing to let others know you have to go.

Finally, they came out, and Oliver straightened up, “Can I go to GameStop now?” he asked.

“Yes, of course sweety,” said his Mom.

“Thank you,” Oliver said, quickly taking off in excitement.

Once at GameStop, he started looking at the games with wonder, so many options. This Ori and the Blind Forest looked fun. He stayed there awhile, considering his options, even talked to the store manager about the latest releases, and finally selected the new Sonic Superstars Game, and headed out the door. Not once during that whole time did a single creature in the store, himself included, think about once that he was an otter who would sometimes use the restroom; that was just the way he'd been taught it should be.

CRACK!

Oliver watched as the baseball soared across the court, probably a hundred miles per hour. It bounced off the ground and everyone went running for it. From his seat as a benchwarmer, he couldn’t help but wince. Those balls looked hard, he couldn’t imagine getting hit by one of those at that speed.

Oliver noticed that his throat felt dry, so, standing up, he went over to the water cooler and took off a paper cup from the stack.

CRACK!

As he drank his water, he watched the game proceed. Maybe another cup…

Oh, Billy made a Home Run, he knew he could do it.

Suddenly, Oliver stopped.

Oliver looked at his empty paper cup, feeling a bit uncomfortable. He’d probably drunk too much water, and now he needed to go.

Nobody was watching, maybe he could sneak off to the bathroom real quick.

As he made his way to the bathroom, he looked around to make sure no one was watching. He reached the door, slowly opened it…

Stepped in and looked around.

Empty, good. He didn't need to advertise to the world that even he sometimes had to pee, it just wasn’t appropriate.

He went into a stall, locked it tight behind him, and proceeded with his business. When he got out, he washed his hands, and headed back out to the field.

“Oliver! Where were you?” his coach asked upon seeing him, “I was going to send you in, I had to send Chet in in your place.”

“Sorry,” said Oliver, “I just had to… get a drink.”

That was technically true, but the coach looked at him skeptically, then at the water cooler, right in visible sight…

“I don’t know what it is with you kids and water fountains,” he sighed to himself, “in my day, the water from the cooler was as good as any water. Doesn’t matter that it’s hose water, it’s still water and I’m proud of it.”

Oliver turned his eyes back to the game. Chet stood at the plate, bat in hand, ready for whatever ball could be thrown at him.

As the pitcher readied the ball, Oliver watched his best friend, urging him on…

“STRIKE 1!”

Chet grunted in frustration.

“Come on Chet,” Oliver said quietly as the pitcher readied another ball…

“STRIKE 2!”

“You can do it…” Oliver said.

The pitcher readied one last ball.

CRACK!

Oliver cheered as Chet made it three bases onto the field.

The coach looked at Oliver, “You’re in.”

Oliver readied himself, straightened his cap, and grabbed the baseball bat, ready to go.

As Oliver stepped out onto the field, he suddenly got a sense of… vertigo? Something like that?... A sense of how big the field was.

He stepped up to the plate, adjusted his bat…

“BALL!”

Okay, that was just rude, he wasn’t even ready.

He got into position, breathed tight, he was ready.

The pitcher pitched…

Oliver readied the bat…

He swung!

CRACK!

A perfect hit!

The ball went soaring through the air…

SMACK!

Right into the place where Chet’s legs connected.

Chet went still; Oliver barely had time to process what he’d just done…

And then Chet dropped. Straight to his knees. Clutching himself and moaning angstily.

Oliver flinched, suddenly a whole world of embarrassment filling him on behalf of his friend. He couldn't imagine how Chet must feel. He couldn’t even bring himself to admit to using the restroom, much less… Sure, the other students were more open about using the restroom and stuff than he'd ever dare to be, but surely they too must find some things just as unspeakable as he did, and he couldn't imagine what it must feel like to have something like this that concerned a part of yourself that was so unspeakably embarrassing happening to you in front of everyone.

And then the pain!

Oh Chet!

It can't hurt that bad, it can't hurt THAT bad, Oliver thought, because there was no way his friend could be in that much more pain than he could imagine.

But then, of course it did, there was no way he could be making that face if it didn’t. Chet just lay there moaning in agony, everyone just standing around, not sure what to do. Oliver caught sight of one of his girl classmates shyly struggling not to laugh, and Oliver couldn’t help but blush.

It shouldn't be so funny, but suddenly he couldn't help it, it was. That a living Soul could be in so much agony and embarrassment, it was just wrong; what Chet had to be going through must be worse than the worst kind of torture, and Oliver believed torture was the most horrendous thing in the Universe that it was criminal to think that anybody should be able to go through it… So then, why was this so funny?

Oliver shifted his feet uncomfortably; never in his life had he thought something like that could happen to his friend, yet it had. Even more, he had never imagined it happening to himself. But what real difference was there between him and Chet? The thought made him nauseous, that it could’ve been him out there moaning in pain instead.

But it wasn’t Oliver out there, was it? Oliver would feel too ashamed in himself. What would his mother think, him showing himself off like that. Oh, the embarrassment.

Oliver watched Chet folded up moaning on the field. Poor Chet. As selfish as it was, Oliver felt a deep revulsion inside at the thought of that it could ever happen to him. It would never happen to him, right?

Oliver got home that night feeling very awkward. He couldn’t stop thinking about poor Chet and the whole situation that could’ve happened to any boy. His Mom asked him how he was doing, but Oliver couldn’t manage anything but a “fine”, he couldn’t bring himself to mention Chet to his Mom, he wouldn’t even be able to find the words. Did Chet’s Mom know what happened to him during the day? Could he ever speak to his Mom properly again knowing that had happened to himself. The shame Chet must be feeling right now to know himself so vulnerable. So vulnerable because of something so unmentionable. And now everybody knew. Even… the girls. (Why was Oliver blushing?)

Oliver ate dinner with his family, his sister needed to go “pee” again, which fortunately was fine since they were in their own house, but their Mom gently advised her not to advertise it, because it might embarrass her brother (Oliver was always embarrassed to advertise needing to go around his sisters, so it made sense for it to go both ways).

After dinner, it was movie time; tonight it was Oliver’s time to pick. Oliver selected a movie they had checked out from the library, Shrek 2; he had never watched it before, but everyone had told him it was good.

So he put in the movie and it began:

“So she said, what's the problem, baby?

What's the problem? I don't know

Well, maybe I'm in love (love)

Think about it every time I think about it

I can't stop thinking about it.”

Yeah, this was good, Oliver could feel the momentum building with this; he liked Shrek, Shrek was about to go on a pretty cool adventure, he knew it.

So, from the start, Oliver was invested, couldn’t wait to know what happened next…

Until that one scene.

The cat was attacking Shrek, Shrek was crying out in pain.

“Get it off!”

“Hold still!”

THUMP!

Oliver flinched.

Shrek fell to his knees.

“Did I miss?”

“No, you got them.”

Oliver’s feelings once again hit him all over again, all this time Shrek had been so anxious about meeting his in-laws and this is how it ended up for him. If he had known how it was going to go, would he have been even more determined to get out of it?

Oliver flinched, glancing over at the rest of his family.

“Mom, what happened to him?” One of his sisters asked.

“Yeah Mom, what happened,” asked the other.

“He got hurt,” their Mom answered plainly, though she didn’t sound too pleased.

His sisters’ eyes grew wide, “Just like that?” they asked.

“Just like that,” their Mom said, not elaborating further.

Oliver felt awkward, he was the only one in the room that something like that could happen to, and though no one even looked at him, he was really feeling put on the spot. This was his movie choice, and it felt he had basically announced to all of them what made him feel self-conscious in himself. Girls at school watched this? He felt himself go red. Had Sammy seen this movie? He thought of Chet once again, and now Shrek, he wanted to hide his face from the world. Why were boys like this?

Still, he enjoyed the movie after that, the transformation into a human, the epic battle scene with “I Need a Hero”, he could see why it was everyone’s favorite.

After the movie, he asked his Mom about it.

“It was good, it was fine,” she said, “I’m not sure if movies should be putting stuff like that in it for kids, that’s all,” she continued, “But it was fine.”

Oliver felt uncomfortable. Perhaps things like that shouldn’t be in kids movies, but what about when it happened at school? What did you do about that?

At school a few days later, it was announced they were going to be playing Hockey today for P.E. A bus came and picked them up to take them to the nearby rink. Fortunately, Oliver knew how to skate, but he wasn’t sure how good he’d be on the ice with all that equipment and that Hockey stick.

As he boarded the bus, he passed by where Chet was sitting. “Hey,” he said to his friend.

“Hey,” Chet said back simply.

Oliver sighed, ever since his incident, Chet had been in an awkward state of reservation, as if he didn’t know how to communicate with his classmates knowing they knew what they knew about him, and Oliver didn’t know how to communicate with him back, not sure how to talk to someone who had been through so much more embarrassment than he ever could’ve imagined.

And sadly, the seat next to Chet was already taken, so Oliver took a seat near the back of the bus instead. As he sat down and the bus began to pull out, and watched the world begin to pass by out the window, he wondered if he’d ever be able to relate to his friend again.

When they got to the rink, they all piled out full of energy. Inside the building, a skating instructor came by to give them instructions.

“After you grab your skates and gear and helmets, and come down here where you can take a seat.”

Oliver made his way down the line where he eventually grabbed a pair of skates in his size. He rolled them gently with his wrist to make sure they had a good feel, grabbed his other gear, then moved to find his chair to could sit down in. Because his last name started with a letter so late in the Alphabet, he had to sit near the end in the back again, but he didn’t mind, it allowed him a place to think outside of the spotlight.

Once everyone was all seated, the Instructor turned to look at the class.

“Now, Hockey is a highly competitive game, you play to win and only to win. Once you get a feel for the ice, you should be alright, alright?”

Nobody answered, it was obvious this Instructor was well experienced on the ice and expected them to be as well.

“You will be split into two teams, whichever team wins is better, and that’s that. Now, listen for your number.”

Chet ended up on Team 1, while Oliver ended up on Team 2.

“Now, it is very important to remember, always wear a cup,” the Instructor said, “at all times you must wear it, and never take it off. Those pucks can get up to 110 miles per hour, and you do not want to get hit by one of those babies without one of these on.” The Instructor took out a box, “Now, pass it around, and make sure everyone gets one. Once you get your cup, you may take it into the bathroom and change.”

Chet looked miserable. Obviously he knew what it was like to play a sport without a cup.

But that wouldn’t happen to me, right? Oliver thought, not for the first time.

As the Instructor continued to explain the sport to all the students who didn’t know, the box got passed around and everyone took their own cups.

When it got to the back, Oliver grabbed the box and looked inside.

There was only one cup left.

Oliver looked over at the girl next to him, it was Sammy, the only student with a last name after him, the girl he’d seen who’d been trying not to laugh when Chet had been hit by the baseball, sitting there uncertainly.

“You need it more than I do,” she said, nudging it over, shifting her feet. She paused. “It’s just the thought of getting hit by one of those pucks…” She shivered.

He needed it more… That she should say that, what she must think about him to even know that that was true, Oliver felt his face going red. How could that be true about him? He could feel the embarrassment.

Oliver hesitated and looked down at the cup, felt his embarrassment, saw her anxiety. Then he nudged it back over to her.

“Here, you can take it,” he said.

Sammy looked at him, “You sure?” She clearly didn’t want to take it from him in case he needed it, but she didn’t want to go out there without one on either.

Oliver shrugged, “I’ll be fine,” he tried to assure himself as much as her.

Uncertainly, she took it. “Thank you,” she said before rushing to the girl’s room to change. Right before ducking in, she glanced back at him and gave him a friendly smile, and Oliver couldn’t help but blush. Then she disappeared inside.

As Oliver watched her go with his only protection, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of uncertainty rush through him. He wasn't going to need it right, he was too modest for a thing like that to happen to him, right?

When Oliver got out onto the ice, he found a bunch of students slipping on their skates, trying to get a feel for their feet. Because he was familiar with Ice Skating, he had no problem, and it seemed Sammy wasn’t having trouble on the ice either, though she seemed a little nervous holding the stick of hers.

He skated up to her, remembering they had been put on the same team, and adjusted his stick in his hands. Wow, this thing did feel weird, he wasn’t used to having something big and clunky in his paws when he skated.

“You ready,” Sammy asked nervously, and Oliver couldn’t help but blush. Why was he doing that lately, he didn’t even remember talking to her much before.

“Yeah,” he said, “you ready?”

“I hope so,” she replied, wiping fur out of her eyes, “I’ve just never played hockey before, do you think those pucks are as fast as they say?”

Oliver could only shrug, he kind of hoped not, but what could he say?

“Okay everyone, get in your places!” The Instructor called.

“Let’s do this,” Sammy said.

And so the game began.

Oliver knew a little about hockey, but as he played alongside his team, he couldn’t help but marvel at Sammy; for never playing this game before, she was a natural!

Sammy knocked the puck over to him, he knocked it back, away from Chet, and she got it perfectly; he couldn’t believe how in sync the two of them were. Turns out they must both be naturals!

Sammy scored a point, then Oliver; with the two of them, their team was unstoppable.

As they prepared for the next play, Sammy pulled up besides Oliver.

“This is fun!” She said.

Oliver nodded; he was feeling great on the ice.

But suddenly, he got a sudden fluttering in his stomach, as if his very being was foreshadowing something very bad about to happen; for a second, he felt a sudden urge to escape his body, as if occupying it for more than another minute was a bad idea.

He shook his head, of course that was nonsense, maybe those butterflies were just telling him that him and Sammy were about to steal this game.

And so the play began.

It was going perfect…

Until it happened.

“Oliver, here!” Sammy cried.

As she swung her stick, hitting the puck square on, Oliver suddenly filled with dread. He saw the trajectory, noticed its momentum before he could do anything about it.

CRACK! He heard the hockey puck hit the wall before he felt anything, his body was already folding in on itself.

Oliver stumbled on his feet, knowing but refusing to accept. He would not be in pain, he would not-

Nausea began to rise within him as the realization hit him as the pain began to make itself known in his body during the only split second he had to process everything: Oh man, this was him! It could’ve been somebody else, but it wasn’t; this was him all the way.

Then the pain hit full force, an unimaginable raw fire raging in his weakest spot and rising all up into his body.

He collapsed to his knees, howling in absolute agony, unable to hold it back; he wanted to imagine this pain was happening to somebody else, that he was just imagining this pain and he wasn't actually experiencing it - just like he had done before when it had happened to someone else - but every nerve within his poor sensitive area was screaming that this was all too real.

He wanted to shriek, he wanted to scream, all of his body wanted to die as he folded into this fetal position! He couldn't imagine thinking of this much pain, and now he was actually feeling it.

"My n**s!" He cried, putting words to the most shameful part of himself like he’d hoped he never would. It was too shameful, but he couldn’t help it. Out of all the boys who could've been hit, it had to be him, and now he was the boy everyone would always remember as getting hit in the n**s with a hockey puck!

He writhed on his knees, all his classmates staring at him too stunned to know what to do. To them his cries for mercy must seem comedic, they didn't even come close to expressing the misery he was in; how could they when his misery was this excruciatingly painful?

Oh man, Sammy too, and all the girls, were surely watching him too, hearing him cry out such shameful words about himself! He was the otter who felt ashamed even admitting needing to use the restroom, how could he be…

The pain, the shame, he just curled up in himself on the ice pitifully, trying to hold back his whimpering.

“Take a timeout,” said the instructor.

As the other students moved past, Sammy took out her cup and dropped it gently down beside him, “I’m sorry,” she was blushing bad, “I know it doesn’t do anything to help now, but you really did need it more than I did.”

Then, look of guilt on her face, trying to bury her own amusement, she skated from the rink.

Left alone on the ice, Oliver was left with only his embarrassment and pain.

Oliver sat in the lobby, wincing still from the hit, but able to sit up mostly now. The other students were back in the rink, continuing their game, while Oliver was just sitting here waiting for the bus to take them back to school. He just wanted to sit there looking down at his feet, and be embarrassed by himself.

He heard the door to the skating area open, and he looked up to see Chet step out. He had a slight limp, but otherwise, he seemed mostly fine.

“I just slipped on the ice and strained my leg,” he said, “Coach said to sit down a little bit and take some pressure off it.”

Oliver nodded, and Chet came over to sit down next to him.

And they sat back down in silence.

They both knew that a strained leg felt nothing like a bad hit with sports equipment. Though now they both could finally understand what the other had been through, talking about it was the last thing Oliver wanted to do, and Chet seemed to understand. Maybe it was best just to say nothing and let it fade to the past.

Eventually, they heard cheering inside the skating rink, and a moment later, a bunch of the students came pouring out full of enthusiasm.

“We WON!” Sammy cried, leaping up to Oliver excitedly, “Well, I mean, you weren’t in there, but our team won, so hurray for us!” She looked at Oliver, face filling with sudden sympathy, “You’re okay now, right? Your um… place.”

Oliver’s face flushed, “So you uh, know… about…” He tried, but couldn’t finish, he wanted to curl into himself and never show his face again.

Sammy nodded, obviously as embarrassed as him, “Yeah. So it is true about you boys?”

Oliver only leaned forward and moaned in his embarrassment.

Sammy just stood there a moment as if not sure what to say.

Finally, “Well, I’ll see you in the bus then. Good game.”

And then she took off, leaving Oliver sitting there, still sore, in his humiliation.

Oliver returned home, wearily dropping his bag on the couch.

“How was your day?” His Mom asked.

Oliver sighed, “It was a day,” he said. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her of the shame he had definitely broughten upon her own offspring.

“Well, clean up and get ready for dinner,” his mother said, “Pizza tonight!”

Oliver went to his room to unpack, and then he went to the bathroom for a bath. Baths were always embarrassing, but nothing felt more embarrassing than today.

When he was done, he made his way to the table where the pizza was already waiting. His sisters rushed up to him and started jumping up and down at his feet.

“Is it true you got to play hockey today!?”

“Was it fun!?”

“Yeah yeah,” Oliver said, just trying to get to his seat.

“We painted pretty pictures in class,” one of his sisters said once they were all seated.

Oliver brightened up, glad for the chance to change subject, “What of?” He asked.

“Oh, just butterflies and rainbows,” the other sister said shyly.

“Oh, I’d love to see that,” Mom said enthusiastically.

So they enjoyed a nice dinner of pizza, for just a bit it helped Oliver get his mind off things.

But after dinner, as he sat on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune with his Mom, he couldn’t help but finally break the ice.

“Mom?” He said, “Remember that thing that happened in Shrek?”

She looked at him, a little unimpressed, “Yeah, that was an interesting movie.”

Oliver shifted, “I mean, what if something like that happened in real life, like at school?”

Oliver’s Mom’s face softened, “Well, that must have been very uncomfortable to witness,” she said.

Oliver looked away, too ashamed to mention that he wasn’t referring to a classmate, but to himself.

“What would you say to him?” Oliver asked, shifting self-consciously.

Oliver’s Mom thought a moment, “Well, he must really feel disgraced with himself if I’m being honest,” she answered finally, “But if it was an accident, you can't really blame him. But I can’t imagine the shame he must be feeling for exposing such a part of himself so indecently in a public place like that.” She shook her head, “Try not to make much of it, it’s better to just let it pass, alright.”

“Alright,” he said, though he didn’t know if he really felt any better. He yawned, “Well, I’m going to go to my room now, I’ll see you later.”

His Mom watched him go a moment before turning back to the TV, and Oliver made his way to his room and closed the door behind him.

He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to see himself for who he was. Was he really the boy who had dropped to the ice rink floor like that? Was that who he had always been all along?

Looking, he didn't feel so much ashamed that he had been hit there as he felt ashamed that that place could exist for him to be hit in in the first place; that now everyone in his class had no way of not knowing it now as well.

Everyone in his class including Sammy.

Despite himself, he couldn’t hold back a gasp of amusement before he covered his mouth to stiffle it. Why did he find this funny? He’d done a shameful thing.

But looking at himself again in the mirror, he realized, he didn't feel guilty, he never really had - he felt absolutely disgraced with himself and the shame he had presented on his body - but you know what, he wasn't a bad otter.

Also, he remembered how funny he’d found it when it happened to others - as much as he was ashamed to admit, he thought, thinking of Chet - of course others should find it funny when it happened to him, he realized, his face flushing violently. Even the girls.

Not that he was laughing, but the thought that others could laugh made it all the more funny that these kinds of things could happen to males anywhere. He suddenly realized it wouldn’t be so funny if it could happen to girls as well, and the fact that it could happen to any boy made it funny to know that girls could see it. And for all the embarrassment in the world, it just so happened that he was one of those boys; if it hadn’t been that he didn’t have a chance to be part of the unluckier half of the population, then the humor that a thing like that could happen would have no point.

He would always be too embarrassed to ever find any humor in what happened to him, he wanted to crawl under his blankets and hide his face from the world forever, but he knew that his ability to face this embarrassment was a necessary cost to preserve the humor of the situation for all time. His Mom had always seen that this sort of thing was something to be ashamed of, but what she had failed to realize is that shame is part of what made it funny, that at any male could at any time be shamed in only a way that boys could, and girls could be around, and they could know the same could never happen to them, of course you’d feel shame with your own weakness, and the more shameful it was, the more funny it was for everyone else.

Except Oliver wasn’t everyone else, he’d been that otter who’d been hit, he’d been that otter who’d been shamed.

And at that thought, Oliver gave a wail of embarrassment, and collapsed to the floor, clutching himself where he was most ashamed as if he was reliving the pain of the moment, and just lay there in his embarrassment for a very long time.

Fortunately, his Mom didn’t come in to check on him, just sat there on the couch, watching Wheel of Fortune, blissfully unaware of the shame her son had brought upon his most unmentionable place forever.

Another day at school, and things felt like they were beginning to return to normal. Chet and Oliver were able to talk to eachother regularly again like old times, though neither of them ever mentioned their accidents.

But even though he never mentioned it, Oliver knew he’d never forget it. So much had happened to him since this all started, and as he thought back to that one day at the mall not so long ago, he could hardly believe it was the same him. How he could go from that unaware kid at GameStop to that boy writhing on the ice rink in pain in just a matter of days, perhaps that was what was funny about life, you could live your life normally, like you had nothing to be embarrassed about, but those embarrassing truths about you were still there, waiting to be hit and brought out for all to see at a later time. Oliver would go back to his normal life and thoughts, but he'd also forever after this know in the back of his mind what could happen to him.

On their way to P.E. once again, Sammy met him in the front of the gym.

“Here, I got this for you,” she said, holding out a cup for him, brushing some fur from her eyes shyly. Ever since the day at the rink, she had always been sure to save a cup for him, making sure he was the first to receive one.

“Take care of yourself… down there. Okay?” she blushed, shifting on her toes in small shyish curtsy.

Oliver took the cup gratefully, blushing back.

He liked Sammy, he didn’t know why, he just liked her. Maybe they could be friends.

As they moved out onto the basketball court, they began their game. For the first time since his accident, he felt he could maybe except himself, of course he would always be embarrassed, and maybe ashamed at the memory of what had happened to him, but he didn’t need to be embarrassed about now.

Unfortunately, by the end of the game, one other unfortunate boy would be subjected to the same feelings that Oliver had just gone through, he had seen it happen to the other classmates before, of course, but that only happened to unlucky students, it wasn’t like it was going to happen to him.

Unfortunately, life always has to find someone to be unlucky.

That, however, is a tale for another story.