Can You Sleep Through Awakenings?
This was a poem I originally wasn’t planning to post till some nebulous point in the future but when I learned it was National Coming Out Day about two months back I decided to go ahead and post it for then even if I was a few days late for it because this just felt fitting. This is a poem about uncertainties and confusion and how it can all began to start making sense once you’ve moved past some of the shame and accepting the more out there parts of yourself. Originally posted in October 2024.
Can You Sleep Through Awakenings?
By: A.X. Bueno
An awakening is something you’re supposed to feel deep within
In your mind and in that tingling feeling of your skin
But what if that awakening comes and you feel nothing at all
Or you went on ignoring them so long so nothing bad would befall
And thus you can’t really recall them anymore
When you’ve finally accepted yourself by venturing past that closet door
But you’re still confused on whether you’re truly awake or not
How many times did you push down those stirring feelings aside
While others seem like they’ve figured it out you’re emotionally distraught
That’s slightly hyperbolic but you feel so lacking in experience it’s created a divide
Or so it feels, between you and others as you don’t recall these awakenings so well
For you it’s mostly a haze that you have to try to focus on and compel
Compel out those old feelings you couldn’t confide
Sometimes so oblivious you weren’t even aware of what there was to hide
Which is part of what allowed you to stay asleep for as long as you did
You’re older now though
These awakenings no longer passing by undetected on your mental grid
Sure there’s no alarm for these kinds of things but you’ve had time to grow
To recognize things you couldn’t before and be less ashamed
By being wiser and more in the know
Of course there’s still some confusion and yet more growing to do
Awakenings are not a one time thing for in life there is always something new