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The Fourth Day of Christmas: Nisse

The four Nisse reconvene once their porridge creditor and his three newly, unknowingly, to-be betrothed. The four, blue tunic wearing, mouse sized men drink from thimbles and splinters of firewood on beer stout beer made from porridge.

`“Great success Vig!" Cham exclaims slamming his mug into the bottom of a regular sized mug turned into a table.

“Couldn't have been done without your magic Gimmy!" Joki follows.

“Tomorrow we need to confront that priest. No respect for the old ways, but most can be made to see reason." Cham announces.

Gimmy and Vig turn to each other, awed by the fact that Cham accounted for people outside the home. “Good idea Cham, what say you Joki?" The elder twins say in unison.

“Well Cham an' I already made the rings, not even a human-sort can make rings a tenth of as well as we. So, if we leave the rings in a place for him to find, perhaps his night stand a bowl of our-sized porridge he'll know what we're about. With that he'll have to accept our little plan!" Joki reasons before his kin.

“A swell idea Joki!" Proclaims Cham

“Capital!" Follow Gimmy and Vig in unison.

The four brothers wheel the three betrothal rings out of their house within a house to their little crane where they lower the rings by attaching them to their fishhook and lowering them one at a time. Gimmy and Joki climb down the rafters and call for some riding squirrels from the nearby woods with a magic bell hidden in a hollow knot on one of the supporting beams for the awning.

With the rings rolled out of the house proper and the squirrels summoned, the four brothers get to riding as soon as they promise two chestnuts to those that carried rings and one for the one that is only carrying Gimmy. The ride into town is mostly uneventful despite the troll sneaking around looking in vain for unattended sheep or cattle to eat. The squirrels fight over who gets the biggest chestnuts once they've delivered the four to the stairs leading to the church. Using their mighty legs the four brothers hop up the stairs in one big leap despite the rings bearing down on them. They shimmy open the unlocked church doors and slide before shutting it. Now outside the cold the four face the Nisse of the church.

A single, old and bearded nisse stands before the four and their rings. “And what are you lot doin' 'ere?" He demands.

“Well sir we owe-" Starts Joki.

“We need to leave something for the priest." Vig quickly states cutting off his little brother.

“Ye got for rings wit' ya, there's something goin' on. Tell me the truth and I'll leave ya be, so long as its ya, not evil or somethin'." The old nisse demands.

Joki smacks his older brother on the back of the head. “Always be open with yer elders ma and pa both told us that before we left Malmo." Joki scolds to the amusement of the old nisse.

“We owe a debt to master of our house, he's left us a heaping bowl of porridge with a double portion of butter every day for a year! The four of us put our heads together and decided we would solve his romantic issues as thanks. But it ain't the old times no more, it ain't even proper for a lord to have concubines now, not like it was a few centuries back. Gimmy and Vig bound the three maidens under his roof two night ago to Canute, the man of the house, but we forgot that they only let one wife now, so we have to get the holy man to accept him havin' three wives otherwise we'll have a debt we can never lift as they'd probably kill him." Joke explains

The old man nods in contemplation. “Ya know we could just cast a spell on the people and get 'em to not notice." The man suggests.

Gimmy looks flatly at the old nisse. “He's a holy man, our magic can't do much other than suggest, anything more and the angels will start botherin' us again." Gimmy counters.

“Fair." He says. “I'll help you with settling your debt, but if you've got any sorta ace up yer sleeves it'd be that near every man up and left leaving there a shortage of manfolk and a glut of maidens." The old nisse offers.

“And the lord said unto Noah; Go forth, be fruitful, and multiply! It's perfect, the Lord wouldn't want there to be hips that never birthed outside a nunnery, so we could even get an angel to help us!" Shouts Cham in a moment of revelation.

Out swings the door to the priests quarters. “NISSE! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE!" Father Ulf demands in a huff.

“We're trying to save Canute's mortal soul!" Shouts back Vig.

“WHAT! Canute? Koborg?" He says seemingly staggered by the words.

“Yeah, well, we owed him a debt, we started to settle it but then realized we may have made him a sinner." Gimmy responds.

The old priest takes a seat on his chair. “Give me a moment please." He stays heavily breathing.

The five nisse and priest stare at each other like a hunter and a buck who woke up under the same tree.

“So… Canute. Why's his soul in danger?" The old priests asks in deep concern.

“Well, we owed him a debt because he left us porridge out with double butter for a year, so in return we'd solve his biggest problem." Cham explains.

“And that problem was…" Father Ulf asks.

“Nothin' short of his indecision between Estrith and Krystanya! So we bound every maiden under the roof to him so they'd all want to wed." Vig details

“Of course we forgot that since we were boys you lovely Christians forbade havin' more than one wife. But the spell has been cast." Joki finishes.

Father Ulf rubs his temples. “You turned the most pious member left of my congregation into a polygamist? If its just Krystanya I'm sure most folks might give him a pass… WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ABOUT THAT SAMI GIRL!" Father Ulf demands.

“She too." Vig says forcing a smile.

Father Ulf growls like the wolf of his namesake. “Are. You. Kidding. Me." He demands.

“No, though to be fair we didn't expect her to fall too, usually those sami sorts are immune to our magics." Gimmy explains.

“I now see why this is a threat to his soul. God is Love, but the Lord demands a man have but one wife. I could accept it were an angel to tell me, but why?" He demands though it's more of a plea.

“We told ya, we had to settle our debt. Anyways. We already made the rings." Joki finishes rolling out the three bands towards the priest.

Father Ulf's look of concern deepens. “I'll need to go to Lund. Fast." He says

“I can help with that." Says the old nisse. “Though I'll need my porridge"

“And who are you?" Father Ulf asks politely.

“Why I'm the nisse who lives here in a church within a church." He explains.

“And how can you help me?!" Father Ulf exclaims.

“By handing you a line that keeps ya Lund. The Lord isn't the one who says a man of “one kind of wife", that's Paul. Lemme go get the book you ten-times removed predecessor preached from." He proclaims before vanishing into a crack between two of the stones. Father Ulf and the four Koborgskor nisse stare at each other equally puzzled. Sending everyone jumping is a thick, leather bound and strapped book that slam down from the rafters in a great cloud of dust. Atop the book is the old nisse.

“'Ere ya go, I believe it's in Corithians." He grins.

In a flurry Father Ulf picks up the book. “I know by heart where that is." he proclaims, stopping at a page, reading it through. Then again. And again.

“Well I'll be, still violates the laws of the land" Ulf mutters. “Though, Lord Bjorn may permit it, I will still tell the Bishop of Lund some nisse have inadvertently made a man a sinner.

The four nisse wait until the sun rises, finding the original bible open with the three rings upon the page. He doesn't seem to remember last night but takes the book, and the rings and runs towards Canutes house, the four nisse of Koborgskor taking the lead at the edge of town on their squirrels. The four scamper off their mounts and toss the squirrels all the chestnuts they had on them, perhaps two dozen in their magic sacks before climbing like mad to the rafters to get inside without opening the door. Once inside again the four brothers take a seat in the shadows to watch the show.

Father Ulf near enough rips the door off its hinges in the blur of motion it takes for him to get inside. 'CANUTE!" He screams.

In seconds the cheesemaker rushes from his room in his long johns with an half-thinned axe in his hand ready to swing. “WHATS THE MATTER FATHER? HAVE THE SWEDES COME?" Canute says frantically.

“NO!" Father Ulf shouts.

The priest and the cheesemaker stare at each other until the tension between the two drops along with Canute's axe.

“Then what father?" Canute asks, losing his panic.

“An extenuating circumstance. Come, listen to me boy." He says between bated breaths. “Until I return from Lund, I will ask that you look over the maidens of this home, keep them here. If you must treat them as a wife of a kind." He orders sternly.

“I'm going to Lund, I must ask if I can borrow your horse and wagon as I haven't one myself, worry not-" He begins before being dragged outside by Canute.

The four nisse are holding back laughter as Canute offers Hoigo and his wagon to Father Ulf in his mad rush to Lund to clear it with a Bishop. Canute, moving as stiff as a cheese press connected to a water wheel, turns around, makes a bowl of porridge and leaves out for the Nisse, then downs a mug of cider, and goes back to bed. The Nisse then notice that each of the doors where a maiden was staying is cracked just an inch and a single eye can be staring out of each. As soon as they're sure that Canute isn't coming back, the three of them slink out of their room. Lieddi is nude, breasts out and nipples hard in the cold room, Krystanya is in her long johns, while Estrith is standing there in her small clothes.

“A wife of a kind?" Estrith says aloud a look of shock across her cow-like face.

“I've heard some French and Englishmen do that." Krystanya says grinning all along her horsen head.

“My pa has a dozen wives." Lieddi announces flatly. “Ma became a Christian though." he trails

Estrith and Krystanya turn to face the reindeer. “What?!" The two demand in unison.

“Most Sami aren't Christians." She says offhandedly.

The two girls take a deep sigh and each grab a mug of cider before returning to their room to wait for the six hours of sunlight. Lieddi however waits, and unbeknownst to the Nisse, Mrs. Koborg and Jan creep out their rooms to the reindeer gal having heard the whole thing about “of a kind" as well.

The Nisse return to their house within a house to rest and catch the rest of the fun later. After tucking into their beds made of coin purses stuffed with wool and small strips of tanned lambskin for blankets fall into a deep sleep. Until of course a shrill shriek snaps them awake just as the whole house is flooded with the orange light of sunrise. The four brothers scamper like the mice they share a size with go to lie and watch the commotion. Out in the living room with the hearth, Canute in his tunic and trousers for the first time in two days and his mother has a finger pressed into his chest demanding he, and the rest of the girls, go take another bath because he reeks of cheese. Canute counters this by saying “Cheese has a wonderful smell though?" far from the most confident tone in his voice. With that Mrs. Koborg draws her knife and runs him out the front door, then Estrith, Krystanya, and Lieddi, though she ran out with a grin.

The nisse sneak their way out from the house, and back to the tent where they pry apart some of the fabric just enough to see what's going on inside the tent. Inside Canute drains last night's bathwater and begins to start shoveling snow into a large bucket while the three girls gather and light some firewood. By the time the first bucket of water has been heated the girls inside have already stripped to their smallclothes while Canute, like always, is left doing the hard work. The filling of the tub takes a half hour this time, and Mrs. Koborg comes running out with a bar of lye soap and a rag for Cantue and a lavender and thyme soap for the girls.

Peeping in the nisse watch as their plan, they hope, unfolds. Canute is near enough to forcefully stripped by the girls and half-tossed into the tub followed by Krystanya today, then Lieddi, and finally Estrith. Krystanya taking her place on his lap, Lieddi on his left shoulder, and Estrith on the right. As the day passes in the hot, steamy, tent, the girls get more and more handsy, the girls comparing their breasts in a very hands-on manner, then legs, and finally derreres, standing up and showing off their rumps and legs to one another. And of couse Canute is sitting in the water, praying for strength while all the girls take a nice long look at his third leg. The teasing gets worse and worse for Canute as the girls figure out exactly how to get him flustered badly. But by the time the sun sets, the nisse are left wanting, no humors fill the water.

From atop their peeping holes in a now empty tent the four nisse brothers with their faces twisted in varying degrees of disappointment.

“Ya know I think wed've been better off trying to get him to be the patron saint of the chaste." Spits Gimmy.

“Three lovely ladies and he didn't even so much as a lay a hand on their wet bodies, they were yearnin' for it too." Cries out Vig.

“Aye big brothers, in this Christmas spirit I think it better we think nice of ourselves, we managed to figure out he CAN get aroused!" Cheers Cham.

“Moreover we got the girls to seemingly bury the hatchet, at least for now!" beams Joki.

The eldest two brothers both take a deep breath. “Yer right brothers. Yer right. We just figured the spell would have three new babes planned for mid september already." The two sigh.

“Oh what I wouldn't give a golden braid and a pair of drinking horns to do the ceremony myself." moans Gimmy.

“It'll be three days tops until the priests back, patience, patience Vig." whispers Vig no doubt to himself.

“We'll be off now" declares Cham and Joki at the same time as the set off and slide down the thick woolen cloth that makes up the tent before running towards the dimly lit house. Stepping inside and climbing up the inside of the walls they hear something that leaves them grinning.

After a while of moping the elder set of twins make a march of shame back towards the house to get into the house within a house. Their frowns twist into satisfied if not lecherous grins as they too hear the soft, rhythmic noises coming from the girls room. Not one, all in slight disharmony so soft no human could hear. The four brothers say nothing but their smiles share exactly what they're thinking.